Cardigan Street: Lesbian Love Stories

By Joolz

My third book Cardigan Street is imaginative, impossible and fun.

I struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder (intrusive unwanted thoughts) and writing stories helps me concentrate the train of thoughts in my brain and get to sleep.

I have so many people to acknowledge and say thank you to but you always miss someone out so I will choose one.

Thank you Daisaku Ikeda.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jul 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728389745

Joolz

Our life experiences don't define us, but build the foundation for who we need to be happy. I was lucky to have found the most incredible life philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism (www.sgi-uk) and only at 47 feel like my life has possibility. We chant nam myoho renge kyo to fight against our human fundamental darkness of greed, anger and foolishness. I would like to be well run a Buddhist community centre and a animal rescue centre. Health wealth and happiness.

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© 2019 Joolz. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/19/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-8975-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-8974-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1

Last Writes

In this page

Me and The World

Be Positive

TV Dinner

Take me more like is this selfish slavery of obsession

24 Pages to Memphis

Book me a holiday Book 4

Joolz Book 3/

Book 3 asteroid to love

Book 3 missy misery

Book 3 to you adieu

Book 3 yeah okay why not

Book 3 hollow old me

(no subject)

Story book 3 Throw it at me

Feck off Me

House Far Away

Sandwich

Chapter 3 Away with the fairies

Chapter 2

Half s hit Who Knows

For Me Yeah Right!

Okay sounds great.

Novel Part D Diane

Novel Part C

Novel Part C

Novel 1 Part B

Novel Number 1 Part A

Novel Number 1

Poetry Archery

Love Story

My ~Story

Me My Own Heart I

Fantasy or Fiction

Fiction Fantast B

Fiction Fantasy Book 4 A

Part D

Part C

Story 6 Book 4

Part B

Chapter 3

That’s when you are free.

Head Rolling Laughter

Repent Grim Reaper

Head off the Company

Joolz

Story my head fell off

Storybooks

I can’t make up a story if it’s not there but let’s see if we can string a line together

Chapter 4

Just let me evaporate your worries and dance your socks off Cuba night!

Story run

Chapter 5

Story 2 Gemini

Story 2 Part B

Story 2 Part C

Story 2 Part D

Story 2 Part D

Story 2 Continued

What time?

Book 3 yikes it’s me happy

My car

Book 3

Story 3 let’s write a story

Story 3

Story v 3

Story 3

Story 3 continued

Story 3

Story 3

Book 4

Chapter 6

I blew it again

Stop Story 3 blow apart me

[no subject]

Where shall I take me?

Substitution

Story Self Help Guru

Chapter 7

X Rayed

Death Dyke

Sigha

O

Hi Joolz, Thank You for helping me today, it was lovely to see you again.

Planet

Spinning Headache

To sleep I die

My Partner Qualities

Poetry Night

Frustrated

Betrothed

Novel Four Part 2

Book 4

November Novel

Book 4

Novel 4

Book job novel idea

Cc novel four part five

Book Four Smitten

Spaghetti Western

Yes

Sing

Chapter 8

Love Story

My Heart Attack

Lesbian Love Story

Frog

Prince Shadow

Part 3 Prince Shadow

Part 4

Battlefield Real

Prone Shadow

Prince Shadow

Shadow Parting

Prince

S*** ending

So

X

G

Snail

Sugar and Lace

G

Me

That is weird

Valley of bridge over death

Valley of tombs

Valley of exes

Volume three Viking

Valley of Sleep

Valley of Time

Valley of Despair

Valley Through Flesh

Advertisement Hill

Hi

Autism Spectrum

Big Vegas

Armageddon

My Dearest Soul Mate

Eek

The Wind Crow Ride

Xyz

Heart attack on my bike

Valley if wallet

Sum it up

Valley of new words

Valley Independence

Honest

Valley of the future

Shut Up

Weevil

Volume Up

Merlin Talks Sense

Something needs to get out

Light Blue Light Blue, Light Blue I didn’t cook for you

Ghost

Gonoreah

Candara Dream Dew

Candara Driftway

Candara

Oh God

Kiss my ass jk

Larking

Beat of my heart Storyline

Story Book 3 Part 2

Pasa

Night in Shining Armour

Bag Lady City

It gave me a fright

Awoke

Bye

C

Area of outstanding natural beauty

Line

Nam myoho renge kyo

I shouldn’t laugh at myself and my depressed poetry

Talk to a tree

I Love

On Line Advice

Chapter 9

Story

Mrs Douglas my typewriting teacher, it was a look that said ‘you fight’.

Err he who hesitates is lost

Once upon a time

In my imagination

Chapter 10

Swim Hinksey

I Care

Dear more to life

Story beat my eyes out

Invoke

Motorbike Charlie

Snooze

Cloud me in your furnace

Joolz

Sidelong story

Eerie Ghost

Ghost

Oh no I need stress

Well done Joolzy

Bonkers conkers

Mountains

Gravitas

Surf

One Book

3

Book Butterfly

Flew with the wind

Levis Roses

When will I put someone else first?

Open from the time lord of the baked bean tin

Bath

Successful author best seller

Once upon a time there was a world called planet earth

Chapter 11

Ruby my tantrum

Speak now or forever hold your peace help me God amen.

Grim reaper my only happy tail

Plant Trees

S*D off symphony

I Feel Lost

Word search I GP go on

Ruby Dear

I Forgot Myself

I’ve died at last

Lesbo Love Story

Part 2 twita

Part 3 Holy Mackarel

Buses

Part 5

I want a good story

Chapter 12

My Book

Dr Forbidden

Mouse

True Jet

Reaching Out

Cardigan

Stop

Stop

Story!

Good bye

Bitterness and stuck up

Forecast, Rain, Clouds and some Sunshine

I am still finding a story I am proud of it is just not popping out

Dotty

I’m Okay

My stories are no more

Dries up stories: really love?

Joolz Rulez

Imaginary Friends

Werewolf

Doves in the wind

Chapter 13

Neat

I can’t see

I am off on literary holiday

Through my inkwell

Put it in a bottle

Don’t be afraid

I Didn’t Feel

Me memoir & I

Love

Self Analysis

Nostalgia Book

Emerald

Ruby Diamond Jubilee

Blue Mountain

Worry

For the Ladies!

My Life Story

Growing Up

My Travels

Places I have lived

Dream

If money was no object what would you do?

Joolz Life Plan

The Bear Inn: Brave enough to tell you woman I love you

Chapter 14

Apple Mayonnaise

Crow

The Black Apple

Last Breath

Gay

Mills and where’s all the spoons?

Chapter 15

Princess Diana

Self worth: Self love: Self sacrifice: Soul

Chapter 16

22:10:2018 Goals

M.E.

Courage

My Life Story

Oh my ancient frame is well

I Like Me

Hello Me

OCD & Me & Occupational Therapy

Chapter 17

Hello God

Chapter 18

Someone on my side

Socks

Chapter 19

Surfing

Chapter 20

Wires Melting

Chapter 21

Mail to two stone Arizona

Miss Julie Amanda Longley

Parapet of Power

The

Lancelot

I don’t know

How can I be close to you again?

I’m not letting go

Hold Me

Song for the Dead

You

Castigator of Castration

All that is turns to dust

I Facilitate my Demise

Pamper Yourself

I’m Sorry

Shorts

Sanctuary

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Force of nature follow me not

The Old Oak Tree

Next

Diver

Okay that’s fine!

Continued

Carol

My wife, to my love, to behold from this day forth, till death to us part, I do

Catastrophic Excrement

Give me Cyanide Nurse

Nichiren

Christmas Common

God is watching you. You only want to bring joy so cheer up.

Banquet of goujons and chips

Mr

Story Shanty Lyrics

That’s okay. With love from me. 29.12.2018 *printed to here

Life Feels Beautiful in French

Light

Me

All that is is not always

Fish and Chips

Book Launch

Storyline…

U

Miss Strict

280 Greenline Bus

Desparate

Love is the end

Cave me in you’re not here not here not here

Enough it is not a political rant. Fantasy.

Hope the rising sun will bring with it bundles of joy, happiness and luck. Happy Chinese New Year!

Be Yours

To phone or not to phone

Can I love someone else if I don’t love my self?

Sand On Fire

We spinning down we been hit.

What’s the best thing about my life? Me

Water my day dream horses lavender life

To you no.

Ferrari

Why do I chant nam myoho renge kyo for hours every day?

My road, my home, my neighbours (back page blah blah)

I’m so happy

Knit myself a dream come true

Lovwe

Your Story

Pollen knows the Reason

Dedication

It wud be lovely to see u today, I lovely to see you love zenna

xxxxxxx

I dedicate my book to Aunty Zenna.

Thanku my darling

Spot the duck spot the sparkle in your watery eye. I am the diamond you let go by. The lake smiled on we met I didn’t fancy her from day one. We saw each other more and more and then as a lonely lesbian one day I said shall we hug? Oh she said and we tried we both agreed it felt like a frozen divide. It was rigid and weird and we thought we wouldn’t go there again but kept on meeting now and again.

Myo ho renge kyo.

Hoben-pon. Dai ni.

Niji seson. Ju sanmai. Anjo

Ni ki. Go shari-hotsu. Sho-

but chi-e. Jinjin muryo. Go

chi-e mon. Nange nannyu. Issai

Shomon. Hyaku-shi-butsu. Sho

fu no chi. Sho-i sha ga. Butsu

zo shingon. Hyaku sen man noku.

CHAPTER 1

Last Writes

My partner is: the football commentator

Sketches around daily life, but in football commentator voice….

At the football away match at the traffic lights, kind of Big Brother style

At the shops, commentator in the supermarket queue, trying to make it sound more interesting.

When paid, that noise they make when the football team scores. Completely over=excited.

Wife trying to get to sleep, and Ham, Beckham still commentating.

My parter is: horoscope teller

First date, Sagitarious on a waterbaby, good sign.

Second date, venus on a meteriorite in gemini it’s not looking good I got to go and divine,

Married life can’t go to see Rita on Tuesday, it’s the equinox on high tide, with leo it would be a dangerous ride.

Rosey Lee and crystal ball and young person asking relationship advice. Lightening, fog, you are a fortune child, your destiny is written in the stars, but relationship no it will never last.

Sad face

Going out with a butcher, first date, I try and be vegetarian, here love, I bought you this, obviously a tray of lamb chops.

Second date,

Married,

Live happilly ever after.

Engaged to a male supermodel, fighting over the mirror, fighting over the facebook page, fighting over the make up, fun and do each others hair. And great fashion sense.

Going out with a jihadist, prayers on time and freedom fighter.

Going out with a retail manager, targets smart measurable achievable goals in the relationship therapy.

Going out with a fireman, yum

Going out with a doctor, yum

Going out with a baker, yum

Going out with a writer, ummmm!

Going out with a comedian, not always funny, eg. Me, go out and this multiple personality appears ‘miss entertainer’, ‘miss funny’, miss make you laugh, miss myself at home, ‘miss misery’, but content with that, ‘miss depression’, miss grateful, miss I’m not coping, miss unemployed, miss can’t get a job I like, cant get a job to last, coping mechanism, food, bath, buddhism, sleep, jostick, abba and occasional friend.

Oh and walk dogs.

Going out with the animal lover, five afghan dogs, hairs, there is a doggy smell, the lanes, the pooh bags, the micro chip, the vet visit, the iguanas, the komodo dragon, the python in the loo, the camel the last straw the sheep onzie, ‘I can’t take this anymore’.

The onzies, the pyjamas in the supermarket>????

The Chichuans in the handbag, we can to go town with this, the chichuana in your purse, the chichuana in your coffee cup, the chichuana, aggressive the chichuana, gets more attention more affection the chicuana on a one way bus ticket to India.

The relationship with mr ocd, the relationship with mr obesity, the relationship with the narcissist, the relationship with the relationship therapist, my feeling and gut intuintion would be ‘never go out with a relationship therapist’. the relationship with the ‘shrink’ would you like a coffee dear>? the analysis session, that maybe transferrence, that may be codependency, you maybe giving me what you are lacking inside. This is deep dear, next session tomorrow, at 3pm, can’t switch oiut of work mode. Sling the coffee down with love though and a kiss on the head, I love you my dear. Love you too smile.

Relationship with the dalai lama, hmm

Relationship with the goat herder, yes!

Relationsihp with mary poppins, no!!!! noo! I said noooooo

Relationship with patrick swayze, hmm

Relationship with top gun, hmmm sorry lesbians, hmmm? No don’t worry, but hmm.

Relationship with demi moore, no.

Relationship with a strickly come dancing star.

Relationship with the Shrek star, oh god.

Relationship with me, no, hmmm, oh god.

Relationship with an astronaught, no.

Relationship withpatrick moore, yes.

Relationship with the spectician, the optician, waking up with the light in your eye.

Relationship with your dentist, it was the smile I fell for.

Relationship with the computer technician, handy

Relationship with the mechanic, yes

Relationship with the bus driver, no

Relationship with the teacher, hmm, maybe

Relationship with the popstar, yes and no

Relationship with the poet, no

Relationship with the hippy, tree hugger no, uh oh!?

Relationship with a relationship, this is the hard part

And

Finding a relationship

Relationship with the priest confessional, hmm, never get any sleep at night, just worried and fretting and smoking

Relationship with the samaurai warrior, dangerous

Relationship with the ex

Relationship with the work colleague, deadly

Relationship with affair with your boss don’t do it

Oh it’s so good

Don’t do it again, oh no

Relationship with yourself, hmm nice

Relationship let’s break this down, relation and ship, patterns repeating anywhere?

Sketches, patterns, repeating, in family relationship dynamics, patterns repeating kalaeidoscope, repeating, anger, reflecting your own repressed anger, sketches, you in your cot, your and your mum, you and your new partner, obviously when are you going to grow up and take responsibility.

As the partner pushes you in your new state of arc buggy and passifier.

Relationship with the shopaholic, with the skier, with the hair dresser (YES!) relationship with the Essex star, oh my Jeeze, white teeth, competitiveness in the wardrobe, stealing your leg waxers, but yes, you look good.

Relationship with the secretary, yes and no. Dizzy and too giggly.

Relationship with the depressive, hmmm no!

Relationship with the Chef, hmmm?

Relationship with the alcoholic, hmm no!

Relationship with the podiatrist, yes.

Relationship with the nurse, hmm, yes and no, you never would see them, it’s all work work work, completely dedicated, prepare not to see them when you think you’re going to see them, as there is always a crisis and work comes first.

Relationship with the caker maker, yes come here

Relationship with trinny and susannah, no

Relationship with the hair bikers, no sorry!

Relationship with mary berry no sorry!

Relationship with the australian comedian,

hmm

Relationship with the barman, no

Relationship with the model, no

Relationship with the telesales guy, yes, they always really nice

Relationship with the anger therapist, no

Relationship with the prisoner no

Relationship with the alchemist, h, mm maybe

Relationship with the donkey, no

Relationship with the banker, yes maybe

Relationship with the market trader, yes, maybe

Relationship with the barber, yes actually

Relationship with the travel agent

Relationship blind date, no

Relationship with your father, oh no

Relationship with your sibling rivalry no

Relationship with your let’s stop this before it goes too far.

Relationship counselling, she is so nice. Little did I know. At home we are all different.

Next chapter!

At work: the team manager, at home the submissive.

At work: the crisis manager at home, the permanent crisis

At work, taking work home, the interior designer whose home is a mess

The builder whose home needs improvement

The psychoanalyst, who is an expert and does get this totally right on cue and precise at work, but at home he didn’t know. Who knew? The wife was having an affair with the milkman for 5 years now the cream was free.

The butter maker, his world was always the same, at work at home, steady, easily pleased, consistent, his life was clockwork but he wasn’t sticking to time he was just always nice.

The happy jolly bus driver who got home to abuse.

The nun, the psychopath, what is it with religious freaks?

The psychopath, at home with a psychopath, well I didn’t know till he shot me in the head after more resentment for me having the ability to laugh and endure the permanent chores inspector morse of life.

The banker, same at home.

The funeral attendant, the disco mania on a Friday night.

The estuarian stud vet, same, never stopped working.

The tesco trolley assistant, the fully qualified psychiatrist.

The special needs lady at the till, the supervisor in five years time.

The volunteer mute in the charity shop, would be a campaginer for the closure of the swimming pool in the poorest area of her city, would champion domestic violence causes and people would respect her and listen and she would be driven by something from her soul that must be driving our destiny.

Back to humour we are safe.

Relationship with the homeless person, there is a lot of love everywhere.

The relationship with gillian keeth, no no no

LETS HEAL THE SUBJECT!

Sorry one more, relationship with Louise Ay, the couple wake up and Louise is a permament meditation CD Good Morning, slow calming voice, think of all the things to be positive about in this beautiful day, think of the oven, how beautiful it is, think of the kitchen carpet how soft it is, think of the ceiling, how safe that is, think of the curtains and your washing powder and why didn’t you do the washing up last night my darlliiiin? think of all the things that make you happy, you are feeling good, breathe in, deep breaths, feel the love shining in, deep breath out, feel the lightness of your soul, see the angels sprinkling healing your way.

Yes that’s why I married you.

LET’sCHANGE THE subJECT

Carry on army

Carry on in care work

Carry on nursing

Carry on in the RAF

Carry on in supermarkets

Carry on in the restaurant

Carry on sleeping

Carry on in cartoon land

Carry on in the forest

Carry on in the neaderthal world

Carry on life in the museum

The End

In this page

In this page I wed this day

I commit to never leaving this in my mind

I abide my breath that paralleled

A different day I busy bee see

The day I would rather forget

And shadows overtake me

And I drive by me

I speak of echoes

And yet of silence

And stillness and waiting for dawn

Waiting for safety

That has turned pink

Has turned warm

Has turned me into myself

Into hope

And to looking at you

The view is not asking

Of you

But to sunset the day you smile

To wish for more to give you your style

For living with the world

For wanting more

So I can share your chore

That is obvious. That is all.

That is not all though,

For fear I may say too much

For fear you may feel too much

For having much to give For enjoying my life

I mint made it I line my pen

I lint my grave

And wed you in my sex change

And live to lie a woman in my cage

I drew you

I mistook you

I do I really do thank you. Did I miss you?

Yes but not enough because I miss myself so much

When I was confident when I was a mess but fun

When I had a job but could leave for the pub at one.

The End

Me and The World

Goodies: Tree Man Man Power Lilly Bark

Evils: Poison Ivy Mr Mill Dew

Story plot: usual good versus evil and me stuck in the middle

The start Deforestation had been successful by the year 8050 there was no trees left. We have artificial oxygen simulating tanks and there was a fight for the market to be the sales winner of the award. Tree Man had lost and left Wood Leg End in the end. Man Power knew this would happen so had tipped his olive hat and walked into the Everglade never to forget those footsteps at the crisp aliveness of the Autumn Glade. The wind blew through his senses and he stowed that feeling into his consciousness forever and laid the gauntlet with the memory of my life.

Lilly Bark had always loved Man Power and squeezed her last agony of roots into a twisted knarl to turn to amber in about 30,000 years time.

The middle Poison Ivy was out of control, and attaching herself to everything and running herself to thin. The lane wall had become a great host for the 2 birds left on earth, the only hope, two doves and the neighbours pet goat. They still looked glumly on. Mr Mill Dew walked his dog in the rainbow rain, they had devised a way rain could be bright with no sunshine ever again. There was some kind of reflection refractive mechanism that would create a floodlit rainbow dew drops through the dark clouds.

The drama Sexist battles were still being fought by the cloud gods whether humans should still be left on earth. Women said yes, there was still time. Men said no, they don’t deserve another chance, this experiment has gone wrong it’s time to wipe out extinct that homosapien race. They never got it.

The End

Be Positive

You have so many things

You have ocd you can collect your

trophy diagnosis and put them in order

and don’t ever throw them away.

I have personality order;

it is strict it is like a fire

impulsive like gunfire.

I got offered a job

so excited I jumped

and ran the high top

wall they phoned me

later manager changed the

dumb blonde rule.

Schizophrenia they said… Who?

The doctor or the voice in my head wishing you dead?

Is it me self doubting psychotic?

Killer thoughts. Roses Shakespeare

hamlet pseudo psycho jack

Nicholson raging

repressed anger at my inadequacies I;ll kill this lot.

Ile bake my head off.

Psychosis… psychotic… oh what’s that frying with my nerve endings?

is there a pill for that?… what’s app?

Psychosis psychotic I thought they meant ideation violence but I looked it up and the psychiatrist meant ‘I’m out of touch with reality’.

Well I could have told him that if I wasn’t too stoned to talk or think. Cont…

What more I got?

Bright side… oh yeah that reminds me I have full time depression though it doesn’t look like it because I take no prisoners.

I have charm love and genuine hysterics with company hilarious but the bleak baron-less landscape of my deserted life does span overfill all year round.

Depression if I’m okay with dull ache of bleak shearing unending blankness and caved in loneliness and only filled by

Yes Stress Anxiety.

Qualifications accomplished:

Nvq in alcoholism. Recreational drug use. Casual sex. Abusive relationships

I’ve got so much too much.

Yes she did say I’m spoilt my colleague I always wondered why? How could I be spoilt I shall always wonder why?

Obesity

Excema

Ad-ah

Fatigue

Memory loss

3 breakdowns

Suicidal missions yes unsuccessful too

Wrote two books I like them

I don’t pity myself but it is hard to be me and hold down a job

No confidence at my wits end

Don’t moan about the recycling you freak you’re fired it’s the end.

I am gentle and loving with a woman I’m natural.

It’s my saturating delight to see a woman’s pleasure in sight.

So I got a lot of… I got the lot

I’m quite fit don’t smoke loyal loving and kind.

I got a lot of execs about forty mostly kind.

I’ve been celibate long time I wait for my life crime I mean life wife partner but now I’m lonely I should just have fun it’s supper time summer time. A lady that’s where it is baron land.

The End

TV Dinner

If one day dreamer could come true she would make you mad and shake you blue.

She would hit your head coz you would rather be dead

she would drive off the cliff for you

and book a ticket for one for the shark or work

just so you stop thinking is that a choice?

Decide and commit stay firm that’s the remit.

Once smitten twice bit.

It’s not a nit picking twisted gnarled bark of an alleyway

it is a kiss a gleam of hope in the distant hope

before we get left in our chair with the TV remote

for hours and days and really go round the bend.

I shall end before that happens

pardon my grace pardon my resting place

pardon my thunder which reminds me there’s nothing

yonder the sky isn’t greener on the other side

it is darker than the centre of our lava puss pit

called earth our living grave

our daily bath with life

and history