Climb up Way up High

By Esther B. Jimenez

Climbing up, way up high is a process of surviving a struggle. It is an analogy of how a person struggles, suffers, and survives the dreadful illness called depression.

This book is about getting away from the stigma attached to depression and developing the confidence that depression is treatable. This is a confession made by the author of her dim moments, her long years of suffering, and how she found herself climbing up, way up high, to search for inner healing.

With the support of her family, her compliance to her psychiatric regimen, and her utmost and most fervent prayers, the climbing she did was a success. It would be a great relief to have this stigma removed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 11, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984571359

Esther B. Jimenez

My name is Esther B. Jimenez, a Depression Survivor. I had been writing books with different genre. I never expected to have the courage to write something too personal and have the audacity to share such in public. For me, this is a subtle confession with more than two ears to listen and more than a pair of eyes to read this, What’s in it for me, book. It is easier to be in a confessional box, telling my inner, deeper secrets to a priest. But with my self-less desire I am open and ready to share my struggles and success in climbing up way up high.

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Esther B. Jimenez.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-9845-7136-6

                eBook            978-1-9845-7135-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Interior Images and Cover Design By Esther B. Jimenez

Rev. date: 04/03/2019

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

DEDICATION

PROLOGUE

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

FOREWORD

FEEDBACK (From a Millennial

Point Of View)

CHAPTER

WHO AM I?

DEPERSONALIZATION

ANXIETY

DEPRESSION

PLIGHT TO FIGHT

WELCOME TO AMERICA

KILL THE TIME

BACK TO USA

DISCOVERY

STEPS TO RECOVERY

SHARE-SHARE A RIDE

MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING

KEEP GOING

I AM A CLIMBER

THE OUTCOME IS REWARDING

THE ALPHABET OF ESTHER

SELF-ANALYSIS

LIFE GOES ON

TOTAL SHIFT

PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN

DISABILITY

BLESSED ARE THE HANDICAPS

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

PSYCHODYNAMICS

SUPPORT OF THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS

THE FINAL CURTAIN

THE BEAUTY OF WORDS

I WITNESS FROM MY HEART

GOOD NEWS

EPILOGUE

DEDICATION

TO MYSELF, for I AM CREATED IN GOD’S IMAGE

To my (Late Parents) Honorata B. Jimenez and Pedro T. Jimenez.

To my brothers, my sister, my in-laws, my nephews, my nieces, and my grandchildren.

To my Best Friend, (You know who you are).

To All Victims of D.A.D. (Depersonalization, Anxiety and Depression) and the Depression Survivors.

To my Psychiatrist and Psychologist.

To All Mental Health Counselors, Psychiatric Nurses and Social Workers.

PROLOGUE

There is an immediate remedy for any discomfort. Analgesic or pain pill for headache, an antibiotic for infection and splint support for simple fracture.

For mental pain, what can we take? What can we have? Are we aware of mental health? How about mental illness?

It so happened that this month of May is the month of Mental Health Awareness.

It is significant on my part because I started writing my manuscript few days ago, unaware that this month is a Mental Health Awareness month. The book I am writing is about Depression. My name is Esther B. Jimenez, I am a Depression Survivor. Mental Health is just as important as physical health and tantamount to say, should be given attention, as to the education and awareness of mental illness existence. This month, is also awareness of triumph of the human spirit. Confession publicly or coming out is a sign of victory and the real triumph of the human spirit. It is a relief, a concept of releasing the burden from the stigmatization. And yes, stigma attached hinders the chance of mental health awareness. I came out from the stigmatization. I came out from the world of Depression Denial.

The key to the success of mental wellness is to sincerely acknowledge that the depression is treatable. I am acknowledging that I have history of depression. I had acknowledged that I was suffering from depression. I didn’t think of what the people would say about me. I didn’t even pay attention of the stigmatization.

The worst thing that a victim of depression experienced is, the feeling of no where to go like a confused, poisoned rat. As I go along sharing about my history of depression, you will find out more about my journey from the drowning to the surviving moments. So join me in this pathway, to prove to mankind that depression is treatable. I am the living sample of a Depression Survivor (the real soul being.)

Now this is a public confession, yet the bottom line is how I survived from the uncertainties in my life, from my dim moments and from the agony of mental pain and aches. Instead of sharing right away, speaking of the issues randomly or confessing directly, allow me to offer you one fervent prayer. This prayer will be the start of losing the tightness feeling on my chest.

THE PRAYER OF THE HUNGRY SOUL

(A Prayer of a Depressed Being)

I crave for the consoling words from a High Spirited Soul

I thirst for the water from the Holy Quencher

I seek for the power of the inner healing

I clenched my fist from my aching pains

O LORD, the Father of Mercy look into

The heart of Your grieving child

I grieved for the loss of my identity

I long for Your touch and warm embrace

I surrender myself and my all

Please lift me up from the agony of sins

My hungry soul I give in

O LORD, my GOD, my plea, I beg of You

To listen and grant me the peace I need

Here, now and forever, Amen!

This is only the beginning of my climbing the mountain of survivors, so I will Climb Up Way Up High!

I will continue climbing up way up high to defeat this triple mental illness, the D.A.D. (Depersonalization, Anxiety and Depression) challenge. Since there are three major mental illnesses that engulf my being human, (the Depersonalization, Anxiety and Depression), I would like to call this acronym the D.A.D. Challenge. I would be using this acronym in this book from time to time. For me it is easier to relay my battle since my mental illness occurred chronologically as to which illness attacked me first. It was indeed D.A.D. (Depersonalization, Anxiety and Depression.)

PREFACE

Statistically, mental illness ranks high in percentage worldwide. Among the mental illnesses, depression and anxiety rank high. We see these two mental illnesses as buddies. Dealing with depression is simultaneously dealing with anxiety.

First of all, I didn’t use any numbers and figures for statistics, because there are enough resources of information that are available as references about mental illness. One of the organizations that can give facts and percentage figures about mental illness is the (NAMI), National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Secondly, numbers changed every year, gender, age, environmental wise and other more factors. Since women suffer from hormonal changes behavior, they are more prone to suffer depression like the postpartum psychosis cases.

Older adults are more prone than young adults, because older ones encountered more stressful situations than the latter.

Statistic says something about figures and numbers, but I chose the science of using information about people. But I suggest that if you want accurate percentage just refer to the different books and pamphlets that would give information about the accurate occurrence of mental health and behavioral disorders.

But as far as the percentage is concerned I can surely attest that 100% of the information that you will read from this book is truthfully shared and honestly admitted that, I am a Depression Survivor, a victim of anxiety disorder, suffered early onset of depersonalization and the author of this book.

I have been wanting to write a book about depression before my other books, but I was a little bit hesitant. Stigma attached! That is the hesitancy I am referring to. So, what changed my mind on pursuing to write a book about depression?

Again, according to the research there are lots of people suffering from depression untreated. Why? Victims themselves ignored it and probably in denial. Or maybe because of the stigmatization.

I just turned seventy years old in November of 2017. During the celebration, I was asked to share about myself in the program. The truth was when I was preparing my speech, it dawned on me about how I survived this awful mental illness called, depression. So I included in my speech a piece about how I survived. After writing the rough draft I had the time to ponder more. In my mind and in my heart, I would like to extend my thoughts, my enthusiasm to share, and my self-less goal, not only in a piece or part of the speech but to a bigger scope. I was ready to tell the world that depression will no longer be stagnant. It is treatable and I am one of the living souls, indeed a living testimony of true survivor. So from the time of writing the speech and mentioning about the history of my depression, I started pondering on when I can start going into a larger scale of sharing. Since I was still working on the progress of my manuscript I had to wait a little bit more. It was the first week of May when I started jotting down about the important and significant facts about eliminating the stigma attached. Then it was on May 24 when my book entitled GATHER AROUND THE TABLE was released on line. So my adrenalin started to pump for the next book, entitled, CLIMB UP WAY UP HIGH.

The significant facts I mentioned earlier were about my unforgettable memories of depression, my plight, my struggle and how I climbed up to survive. Since it was still the month of May which is also the month of Mental Health Awareness, as well as Mental Illness it was a great timing. I was indeed more inspired that I can contribute to this awareness month. So join me to honor this month of May to celebrate the wellness of mental health. Let us also congratulate the (NAMI), National Alliance on Mental Illness for their utmost support and love and taking care of the peoples’ behavioral and mental status.

News around the world are heard, reporting about the suicides caused by substance abuse such as alcohol, cocaine overdose or any chemical intake. The bottom line is, this is triggered by depression.

People who are suffering from depression verbalized about