Time Is Not Lost: Love Is All There Is

By Randy Bluebird

Daniel’s childhood, one far from privilege, leaves him feeling deprived and insecure—that is, until he discovers a more positive outlook on life when he turns fourteen. Thanks to the advice of a trusted and spiritual friend, he learns to change his mind and thereby change his life.

From that day, Daniel studies and works hard, and this new mindset brings him early and significant success in business. Even so, he does not appreciate the true values of life, paying a high price in his personal relationships. It is not until Daniel is awakened at a later stage that he finds a way to live a healthier and more spiritual life. His story reveals true lessons gained from life experiences. It demonstrates the impact of conscious decisions that steer us into periods of darkness and light, proving that time is eternal and is not lost.

This personal narrative shares the history of a man who faces both peaks of triumph and valleys of reversal and ultimately discovers the value of living life happily, moment by moment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Nov 7, 2018
• ISBN: 9781480869738

Randy Bluebird

Randy Bluebird was very active in international trading and the manufacturing of soft commodities. He has ample experience in all business aspects and went through a journey of ups and downs from which he learned that what really matters is to enjoy the moment, leave the past behind, and move on in life. He currently lives in Florida.

Book preview

I dedicate this book to my three daughters

Time Is Not Lost

Love Is All There Is

Randy Bluebird

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Copyright © 2018 Randy Bluebird.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-4808-6974-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-6972-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-6973-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018912603

Archway Publishing rev. date: 11/02/2018

Contents

Prologue

1 Early Transformations

2 New Horizons

3 New Twists and Turns

4 A New Beginning

5 Trusting the Unknown

6 A different life

7 Unexpected events

8 Broken Vows

9 Soul-Searching

10 Turbulent Times

11 On the way home

12 Time Is Not Lost

Epilogue

About the Author

Prologue

M y wife Veronica and I had arranged to spend a one-week holiday during the spring vacation of my daughters in one of the Keys on the West Coast of Florida. I had rented an SUV from Veronica’s brother-in-law two days after our arrival from Geneva, Switzerland, where we lived at that time. We were advised by the relatives to fill up at a gas station on the way.

Two of my three daughters, Sabrina and Kathryn, were students at the university, while Danielle the youngest was first year in high school. It had been about eight years since I was divorced, and this was one of two vacations a year I enjoyed with my daughters.

The drive to the hotel from Miami was about two hours. I took an exit off the Everglades Highway thirty minutes later, hoping to find a gas station nearby. The exit ramp had a thirty-degree incline. Before reaching the top of the ramp, I saw signs for gas stations several miles away. I changed my mind and put the gear in reverse to drive back towards the entrance of the exit.

I backed up at a high speed to reach the bottom before other cars could drive up the ramp. Unexpectedly, I could not control the direction of the steering wheel. The car slid to the left of the ramp where the grass was wet and started rolling down about thirty feet towards the right side of the highway. I could not control the big car and it turned and flipped three times in the air before it landed upside down on the ground, at the left bottom of the ramp.

Both Veronica and me passed out, and with the noise and rattle of the metal crashing we thought we were going to die. A minute later, we felt a strong hand reaching in to untie our seat belts and pull us out from the totally damaged vehicle. When we woke up and opened our eyes, we looked around and found nobody, only the damaged vehicle several feet away. We were utterly amazed that we were alive and pretty much unscathed from the horrible accident. We searched to find the person who had helped to pull us out but no one was around. We were shocked and amazed at how this could have happened.

Was it a guardian angel, who showed up just to get us out of the vehicle and then disappeared? Was it a miracle? We remembered seeing vaguely an image of a middle-aged man wearing a red-striped shirt and had grey hair, but where did he go? Was he a real person or an angel?

About two minutes later, two police cars arrived at the scene of the accident, accompanied by an ambulance. They talked to us first and once they found we were ok they took photos of the accident area, including the completely totaled vehicle. The paramedics checked us out more thoroughly and were very surprised to find us in good shape except for some light bruises on Daniel’s legs and right arm.

The attendants could not believe that we were not injured and kept shaking their heads, saying how lucky we were. They asked if we needed to go to the hospital and we said no, we were ok. We asked if we could call Veronica’s sister to ask them to come to pick us up. They allowed us to use their phone and we told her what had happened. They said they would be there in half an hour.

While waiting for them, we looked around the car and found the suitcases opened and their belongings scattered all over the back of the car. I managed to open the trunk and put the clothes together. I also found the hotel number where the girls had been checked in already. I called them and said that we would be delayed and to just wait for a while. One police car stayed behind to make sure they were safely picked up first.

We had about fifteen more minutes to wait. We sat on the grass, looked at one another, and tears fell down our cheeks. We were grateful to be alive and well.

I held Veronica’s hand and said, Thank God for our safety. I can tell you it was a miracle that we came out of this horrendous accident without any serious injury. You saw how the police and the paramedics could not believe we were so lucky. I don’t think it was luck. I believe we were protected by a divine power. We both saw a figure of a man with white hair pulling us out, and then he disappeared a few seconds later. If that is not a miracle, I don’t know what is?

I agree with you, Daniel, that must have been a miracle. Do you recall how shortly before the accident, I reminded you to use the seat belts and we had a short prayer?

I do and I am so glad we did. God did not want to us to suffer or pass away. He rewarded us for our faith in Him. He knew that it was not time for either one of us to leave this physical body. He made sure that our vacation with the children remained unchanged. We were saved by his Love and Mercy. The accident is behind us now and we cannot go back to it. What matters now is the present moment we are in. We can move on and enjoy our few days with the girls and remember that our time is not wasted when we let our inner being focus on the NOW, as it cannot go back to the past. The accident is behind us and we are alive that is what matters.

1

Early Transformations

I was floating like a tiny fish in my mother’s womb for nine months. I felt good and happy, though I did not know where I came from and what made me live in that womb. I had no idea that I’d started out from an invisible force that created me. I had no sense of time or space during my warm dwelling. Neither did I have any control over my destiny.

Then it was time for me to come out. I breathed and cried and felt my first pain. I wondered why I could not stay warm and happy in my mother’s womb forever. I became a helpless baby dependent fully on her. She attended to me when I got hungry or needed to be cleaned. This went on for a couple of years before I discovered how to walk and talk. I began hearing orders to do this or not to do that. I was moved from an early age from one country to the other. I moved from a troubled place where my father was born to a safer country where my mother was born. I moved from one hand to another, always asking where I was, and who were these people, tossing me around like a toy.

They called me Daniel and at the age of six I started feeling the discomfort of living in a small apartment. I heard noises and family disputes about lack of money to buy food and meet other family needs. I had to obey orders and had no right to ask too many questions. I learned how to keep my frustrations to myself. Even if I sneaked out to the street to play with other kids my mother would call me shouting that I should be home right away. I was forced to eat food I did not like. I was obliged to sleep early and not stay up listening to adult conversations.

My feelings got suppressed and my fragile thoughts were muted. I became more unto myself, seeking every chance I could get to be alone. I started reading whatever I could lay my hands on. I developed a sad place within me and tried to escape from the dire situation I was in. I enjoyed going to school with other kids my age. That lightened the burden of home troubles. I quickly developed a keen interest in learning how to read and write, and my teachers admired my early ambition.

I had a list of questions I dared to ask my mother when I was about eight years old. I took advantage of us being alone together sitting in a small untidy garden area provided by my uncle. My mother was sitting on a rocking chair that her mother had once used and I was sitting crossed-legged in my dirty shorts on the grass by her feet.

Mommy, why are you sad and angry most of the time?

Is this how you see me, Daniel?

Yes, Mother.

To tell you the truth, it has not been easy for me to take care of you kids with limited resources and nursing your ill father. You don’t know, but we had a very comfortable and luxurious life when you were born. Things are different now. I also have to work to make some money now.

Why is my father ill?

He has been very unhappy and stressed since we came to this country, running away from the civil war in his country. He hoped to return after a few months. He was careless and spent all the money we saved and brought with us. He smoked a lot and now his lungs are getting worse.

Do you think he will die soon?

It is possible, my dear. He has lost a lot of weight, he feels very weak, and the doctors say he might have a disease that cannot be cured.

What happens to us after his death?

Don’t worry, Daniel, we will manage. I have faith in God. Soon your oldest sister and older brother may have to drop school and start working to help us out.

Is there anything I can do to help?

All I ask of you is to continue to do well in school. You are a very bright kid and you have such a good character. You will succeed and you will also help us later.

Ok, Mommy, I promise I will, and hope you will be happy soon.

My mother was touched by my last words, and unexpectedly she grabbed me to get up on my feet and gave me a big hug. That was a rare and special treat for me.

~~~

At the tender age of nine, I continued to excel in my studies. I was a bright kid when compared to others kids my age. I became oblivious to the lack of possessions at home and I did not care that I didn’t have the comfort that some of my other friends enjoyed. I played a lot with marbles, as they were cheap to own. And I developed skills that helped me to win more marbles from my friends. I sold some of my winnings for pennies to spend. This developed within me a sense of ambition and a desire to succeed. I enjoyed my new identification as a smart kid, and my ego started to grow.

My main misery came from my father’s cancer. The horrible disease took my father’s life away when I was at the fragile age of ten. The early loss of my father was due to the tremendous stress that he had to live with. He had lost his fortune in his home country that was in a state of civil war. He’d been a powerful, rich man there. He took having to depend on the help of his wife’s family very hard and hoped to return home soon. His forced exile to his wife’s country had increased his smoking addiction. He could never return. That damaged his health and led to his early demise.

The loss of my father at such a young age left me troubled and confused. I started to depend on guidance from my tough mother. She herself was devastated and could not muster enough energy to express her motherly love to her five children. That frustrated her and she continued to be sad.

I was the second youngest among my siblings. My mother became a widow at the young age of thirty-six. She refused offers from men to befriend or marry her. She remained celibate and focused on raising her children first. That hardened her character and restricted her ability to express love or affection towards her children. None of us could do anything to ease her pain. We all lived in awe of her unhappy personality.

I was disturbed by the pity shown to me after the death of my father. Our neighbors and extended family members referred to me as the poor orphan. This hurtful emotion sat heavy in my chest and brought tears to my eyes whenever I was alone. I had no father to look up to, and my mother was too preoccupied with her care for me and my brother and my three sisters. She had to find work to feed the large family. The hope of returning to a better life in my father’s land was totally gone. I felt very deprived and insecure until I turned fourteen years old.

The level of adversity was so high in all phases of my early youth. This built within me an unprecedented drive to turn this misery into an opportunity to succeed. I shared my situation with a trusted spiritual man one day, from whom I received the following advice.

Look, Daniel, you are a young and intelligent man. Many of us suffer one way or the other. What you went through was normal, though difficult to understand. There is always a good reason why such suffering occurs. Without it, we do not learn or grow. We need to appreciate the positive side of life. Try to focus on your blessings and transform your energy from a negative feeling to a positive action. Change your mind and your life will change with it.

I listened carefully to the advice I received and I decided to shift my energy to a new state of being. This early inspiration of my new positive thinking empowered me for the better. It enhanced my ability to transform the dire circumstances into a new vision of the future. I became quick to turn my attention to what made me happy, not sad. I focused on what made me active, not lazy, and dreamt of a bright and successful future against all odds. I started sensing a developing self-love within me, and that started to conquer my early fears one by one.

~~~

From an earlier troubled life, I, at the age of fourteen, discovered a better kind of life with a new mindset. This discovery coincided with two major events that happened and that were not expected. The first was the love and attention I received from a Christian group in the new school I attended, including the spiritual trusted friend who advised me to believe in God. The second was a full scholarship I received from a foundation established to help bright young orphans. I was lucky to be selected out of two thousand applicants. The full scholarship was for my education at the same high school. I started experiencing a new form of love that I had missed during my stay at home. This positive impact coupled with my sharp mind stabilized my emotions to a large degree. It re-affirmed my desire for success and gave me a good vision of my future.

Around that time, my older brother Joseph and my oldest sister Samantha left home to work in a newly developing nation in the Persian Gulf. They were paid higher wages and they both sent a good part of their income home to help my mother and younger sister. The other, middle sister, Yolanda, got married at the early age of seventeen. With money coming in from my brother and sister, this eased my mother’s burden of having to work to feed us.

My oldest sister Samantha was