Learned to Love the Pain

By Jaye Love

The goals and dreams you once had as a child shouldnt dissipate because youve grown older or due to circumstances that have taken place in your life. But from me to you, you cant allow what happened to you at the age of four, eight, twelve, or sixteen hinder you from all the greatness you have to offer within you. I have wanted many times to use whats happened to me throughout my life as an excuse to be an awful person. I thought at one point that because I had been violated so many times that it would be nothing for me to give myself away for a small amount of money. I reasoned that because there were drugs available in my neighborhood, it would be easy to get to either indulge or sell them myself. Ive feared becoming a wife and parent, thinking that I would neglect them like I had been or that I would treat them inappropriately because that was my normal. These thoughts seemed to haunt me forever and sometimes still they run cross my mind, and in a constant negative state of mind, those thoughts could have become my existence. But there is God and He surrounded me with people that loved me even though I didnt see it at the time. He allowed them to intervene on my behalf and help me stay positive. My outward appearance was an attitude and a smile, but I was drowning and dying inside. But somehow, the pain pushed me to go harder, to want and to be better. I wanted to find my voice and help others do the same. Pain is inevitable, and through it all, somehow, I learned to love the pain.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 31, 2017
• ISBN: 9781546213574

Jaye Love

She is a young adult aspiring all she can be in life. With every obstacle and circumstance that comes her way, she deals with it and seeks for the best outcome possible. Not saying that she’s perfect, which she is not by any means at all, but Jaye Love is one to have a goal in mind and sets out to achieve it. At a very young age in life, she lived with the motto, “Life is a service for God and unto others, ”and has stood by that still today. She believes that she has the means to touch people’s lives no matter what walk of nature they are from because motivating and encouraging others is what she does best. She has served her country in the Armed Forces and carries the status of Retired Veteran. She is a first-generation high school and college graduate and steadily pursing more. She is a certified motivational speaker and has been keynote speaker for a host of events from an early age. Her first book, “I’ve Nothing Left to Fight,” has been the eye-opener she’s needed to see that not only was her idea of sharing her story to help others be encouraged was a great one, but that it has been beneficial to people of different ages around the world. In just a short time, Jaye Love has checked off many things only some could dream about, simply because they are ‘sayers’ and not ‘doers.” She is fearless in sharing her story to reach those who are afraid to share what happened to them. She wants to embrace the past and thrive on it to be all that she can be. Blessed beyond measure, she gives all credit to God for using her in this way.

Book preview

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2017 Jaye Love. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Names have been changed to protect identities

Published by AuthorHouse 10/21/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5462-1358-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-1356-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5462-1357-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017916126

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Where We Ended…

Chapter 1 New Beginnings

Chapter 2 Lies Don’t Help, They Hurt

Chapter 3 Sinners In The Pulpit

Chapter 4 It Costs To Be The Boss

Chapter 5 Did You Even See The Penis?

Chapter 6 We Tear You Down To Build You Back Up

Chapter 7 To Turn A Blind Eye

Chapter 8 Unit Shenanigans

Chapter 9 Server Bucks

Chapter 10 Summer Tyme

Chapter 11 Change Can Be Scary

Chapter 12 My Only Request

Note from Author

Where We Ended…

I was a senior in high school just a few months from graduating. Where was I to go and how was I supposed to ensure that I could provide everything I needed by myself? A better question to ask is, What did I do to deserve something like this? I didn’t have much time to figure it out. For now, I would gather my things and put them all in her car. Anxiety began to come full speed, and the tears began to shoot out of my tear ducts. Quickly and angrily I packed my things into the car and drove away. Not looking back as I did.

I bet you’re wondering exactly what happened after we drove away and not looking back as we did. Just how the rest of my life turned out and where I am now at this point of it. Well, I won’t keep any secrets from you, as I haven’t since I began the story. If you will get settled in and make yourself comfortable as we prepare for the next part of what happened.

Turn the page and enjoy!

Chapter 1

NEW BEGINNINGS

My cousin Melanie brought me back to the church where I had been before all the chaos begun. I got out and went in to tell my uncle Isaiah everything that happened and that all my belongings were in the car. He walked outside with me to look and being that he was a good friend with Melanie’s dad; called him, and they had a fascinating discussion. He told my Melanie to drive me to her house and that after the dismissal of the service; they would be over there. As soon as we got there, we were greeted by her dad with an I’m sorry this happened to you, and I began wondering why he was saying these words. He hadn’t put me out. He helped me unpack everything, and by the time we were finished, my uncle and his family had pulled up. Once they got there, my cousin explained what she had heard from my grandmother’s mouth to him and my uncle spoke with her father. First, he and his wife wanted to take me out of school and move to their house so that I could finish school there with the twins, but they thought rationally and figured that if switched schools when I’m close to the end of the high-school year that I would not graduate on time so they decided that during the week I would stay there with my cousin and Fridays after school, Uncle Isaiah would come to pick me up at the Boys and Girls Club to stay at his house for the weekend and when I graduated I would live full-time with them until college.

During this arrangement, there was so much going on. Be mindful, that I was still a senior just a few months shy of graduation and now everything had changed. My outlook on life was thrown off. Whereas all my life I had wanted to attend Spelman College in Georgia, now I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go. School became awkward for me. The group of kids I had grown up with my whole life had changed. It was like seeing them for who they really were for the first time. Even seeing my sister was heartache enough, she would call me names in the hallways as she passed by me or would make ugly faces my way. I seemed like an outcast. Homework was no longer of importance to me anymore. I had no interest whatsoever. I was lost and alone. My grades started slipping. I wouldn’t study for tests. I was doing horribly in Trigonometry, and it showed. I was doing so badly that I had to switch from Advanced Diploma and leave Trigonometry to Regular Diploma and finish out the school year in a regular math class just for the final credit. I didn’t even focus anymore. What good would I have to offer in the world when everything around me seemed to be crashing down so badly?

Things at my weekday house were not much going on. I would come there every day after being picked up later that afternoon just before bed. And at my weekend house, things were just as jumbled. Sure, it seemed like a better environment with a better opportunity, but it was just as much of a mess. But then the end of January was ending, and my grandmother would send messages to my cousin that if I needed any of my clothes washed to send them to her and she would take care of them, or if I needed anything, to let her know. By this time, all I could do was pray for both my grandmother and my sister because I knew nothing else was going to work.