I Prayed to Die

By Sasha Meggie

This book is about a girl who was caught up in having the best times she could possible have while living in America. She wanted to meet new people and hang around with friends. Getting through school with good grades and going to college was also apart of her plan. But all of that changed after she got raped.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 6, 2013
• ISBN: 9781493113262

Sasha Meggie

My name is Sasha Meggie, and I was born and raised in St. Catherine Jamaica.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Sasha Meggie.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2013918536

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4931-1325-5

                eBook         978-1-4931-1326-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Some parts of the story may be based from true events.

Rev. date: 01/15/2014

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CONTENTS

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

Latoya’s House

Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

Carmen Arace Middle School

My Grandparent’s House

At My Father’s House

Sage Park High School

My Father’s House

The Park

Latoya’s House

My Father’s House

The Doctor’s Office

My Father’s House

Sage Park High School

My Father’s House

Sage Park High School

My Father’s House

Sage Park High School

My Father’s House

While every little girl prayed for their fathers to come home after a long work trip, I prayed mine never did. Early in the month of 2002 was when I first got off the plane and viewed the beautiful streets of America. I was twelve years old at the time and I was very impatient to meeting new friends. Excitement covered me as I rolled around in the beautiful white snow flakes. My brother Jerome, from my father’s side of family had come to visit me. He had just moved to America too, but he was living with my father’s ex-girlfriend Isola. Everything around me had a story to tell, and it was so exciting. But a few weeks later my story took a different turn, and it turn for the worst. I was clueless to what was going on in my life; I didn’t have the ability to understand at the time. A few weeks later my virginity was taken away from me, my body was in pain and my virgina hurts me for days. The only person I knew and could cry to was the man who took my pride away, my father at the time I didn’t know that what my father was going to me was wrong. All that I cared about was feeling better and going outside to meet new friends. I started school when I was thirteen and up until that time my father still continued to molest me. I cried every day because of the constant pain that I was feeling.

I complained to my father about the constant pain that I was feeling, he kept on saying; you’ll soon feel better baby, don’t worry those were my fathers comforting words to me every time that I tell him I am not feeling well. At school I didn’t have any friends I kept to myself, I no longer wanted any friends. And besides they all thought that I was ugly and weird. I went home one day feeling very sick to my stomach. I had never felt this kind of sickness before.

I was throwing up everything that I ate, shortly after my dad came home from work I told him exactly how I was feeling. I had to skip school the next day because my dad took me to the doctor. The doctor asked me a bunch of questions such as: if I am sexually active, how long have I been sexually active. These questions that the doctor was asking me I had no idea what he was talking about. He sent me to the bathroom to pee into the cup that he gave to me. Then shortly after he came back to the room and told my father and I that I was one months pregnant. After he said that I was pregnant he was saying some other things, and I didn’t hear not one more word my mind was completely blank.

My mother had called me from my home town in Jamaica and for the first time in over a year I really wanted to go home. But I knew I couldn’t; my mother have six kids and I am the eldest of the six. She couldn’t afford to take care of all of us. My dad said he was planning on taking my other sister, but he wasn’t ready to do so. I didn’t tell my mother anything about what was happening to me I was afraid of what might happen. I talked to all of my family back home and they all sounded so happy on the phone, but only if they knew how unhappy I was living in America. Their credit ran out so I hang up the phone and immediately went to bed. I woke up the next morning thinking that I was going to school but instead my dad drove me to the doctor to get an abortion. My father told me to tell the doctors that I had a boyfriend and if I didn’t tell them he would send me back home to my mother with nothing. I didn’t want to go home just like that to my mother; so I lied. I sat there in front of the doctor and listen to her lecturing me about using a condom every time, and learning how to protect myself when I am with my boyfriend. A boyfriend I didn’t even know I had; minutes later the doctor told me to lie down on the bed and spread my legs apart. The doctor stick a needle in my hand and told me to count back wards from a hundred, by the time I reached to ninety five I was seeing nothing but pure darkness. Num, weak, and drossy was how I woke up feeling what felt like hours later. To the right of the bed was Isola. She told me that she was here to help me out until I got better. Now Isola was a beautiful woman, I wondered if my daddy did to her what he was doing to me. After we got home Isola asked me the name of the boy who