Broken: A Widow’s Memoir

By Angie Kauffman

Many times, life’s experiences can leave us feeling shattered and broken. We may even feel that there is no hope, and we question God about why these things have happened. Just know that God allows everything in life to happen for a reason. The specific reasons are not the anecdote, but giving God the glory through those experiences is the ultimate goal. In this way, he can take a life that seems useless and broken and put it back together again to make an even more beautiful creation than it was before.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973664093

Angie Kauffman

Angie Kauffman is an instructor for Adult Education at South Georgia Technical College in Americus, Georgia. She has been a teacher by day for over 20 years, a writer by night. She is a very busy single mom to two beautiful young ladies and is active in her church as a worship leader. God’s insight through a tragic life experience has led her to want to be transparent and share with others about how God is helping her muddle through even though she has often felt broken and unable to be used.

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Copyright © 2019 Angie Kauffman.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6410-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6409-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019906227

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/5/2019

Contents

Journal Entry #1 Private Viewing

Journal Entry #2 The Visitation

Journal Entry #3 The Funeral

Journal Entry #4 Legal Matters

Journal Entry #5 Graduate School

Journal Entry #6 Fearless

Journal Entry #7 Investigator

Journal Entry #8 Diamond Necklace

Journal Entry #9 Dating 101

Journal Entry #10 Hannah’s Story

To my family, friends, and community, without whose help I would have never been able to get through this difficult time in my life.

To my daughters, who have served as my earthly stability through all of the frustration and sadness.

To my God, who has comforted me and worked to give me wisdom for the coming days.

Foreword

There is an ancient Japanese form of art called Kintsugi that dates back to the 15th century when Japenese shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a cracked tea bowl back to China to be repaired. When it came back after being repaired, the shogun was dismayed to find that it had been mended with very unattractive metal staples. This motivated him to find a more pleasing way of repairing vessels. He invented the art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold shimmered in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece. This method of repair celebrates each vessel’s unique history by emphasizing its fractures and cracks instead of hiding or disguising them. Often this ancient art form makes the original piece even more beautiful than it was before, revitalizing it to new life. The Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi came into being in order to describe this art form, calling for seeing beauty in the flawed or imperfect. I desire to be that vessel. Yes, I know that I am daily tried and make mistakes. There are events in my life that have broken my spirit, but I know that God desires for me to depend on him to mend my broken parts internally and see the beauty of what he can do with my life. What matters is that I take my heartaches and use them as opportunities to bring glory to him!

A Day I Will Never Forget

Monday morning started out as usual. It was a beautiful, sunny morning. I woke up and pulled my devotional book out. It was a really interesting excerpt about a Japanese art form where they take and fix broken pottery. They do not just glue the pieces back together. They actually fill the cracks with gold, silver, or platinum. I imagined how gorgeous that must have been. Then, I saw a picture of it and it was stunning! I was reminded by God of how beautiful someone could be when they go through situations in their lives where they are broken and they are put back together again. After I said my prayers and did a load of laundry, I woke up my daughters and husband so that they could get ready for the day. My husband was very apologetic about not being able to spend any alone time together the night before and I reassured him that it was okay and that we had the rest of our lives. I kissed him good-bye for the day and he left for work. I took the girls to school that morning and wished them a great day. Then, I set off to my worksite in another town about forty-five minutes away.

Before starting class, I remembered that I needed some medicine refilled from the local pharmacy. So, I texted my husband to see if he could pick it up during his lunch break. His reply was that he couldn’t today. Do you have enough to get you through until tomorrow? I may not be able to get by there since I’m doing taxes for my lunch and everything… Huh? I thought. I texted back, That’s okay. No problem. I taught class that morning and was just about to