Happily Never After

By Mona

Hi, my name is Mona, and I am a real person just like you. I used to trust people that I shouldnt have. I used to believe liars. In the past, I used food to mask my pain. I used to think that no one would or could ever love me. I dont anymore. This is the story of my journey from victim to victor, from nave to knowledgeable, from tragedy to triumph. Come along with me, and I will tell you what happened, how I survived, and how you can survive and learn to thrive no matter what pain and heartache comes your way. Come along with me, and I will tell you how I learned to create my own happily ever after.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: May 23, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452573724

Mona

Mona is a motivational speaker and life coach whose goal is to promote the empowerment of people by ensuring that everyone has an opportunity to achieve their dreams through the enhancement of their emotional, social, and spiritual health.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 Mona.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

As a work of fiction, the material in this book is declared untrue, yet all of it is REAL. The author is writing under a pen name and names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

1-[phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Amanda Collinsworth, Faust Photography

ISBN: 978-1-4525-7371-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-7372-4 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 05/21/2013

Table of Contents

43228.jpg

Chapter 1   Welcome To My World

Chapter 2   Once Upon A Time

Chapter 3   Prince Charming

Chapter 4   A Dream Come True

Chapter 5   Prince Or Frog

Chapter 6   Glass House

Chapter 7   Sleeping Beauty

Chapter 8   All That Glitters Is Not Gold

Chapter 9   Love That Heals

Chapter 10   Wish Upon A Star

Chapter 11   The Royal Family

Chapter 12   Silver Linings

Chapter 13   Life Is But A Dream

Chapter 14   As The World Turns

Chapter 15   Confronting The Past

Chapter 16   The Best Is Yet To Come

Chapter 17   Creating Your Own Happily Ever After Tips And Strategies For Success

Notes

If no one has ever taken the time to tell you how amazing and phenomenal you are, with great pride I am telling you today. I hope that this book provides you with some strategies to help you as you go through your healing process. It is my deepest desire that God will guide you as you soar to higher heights filled with limitless possibilities.

Sincerely,

Mona

Acknowledgements

43232.jpg

D ad, I will be forever grateful to you. Thank you for holding my hand and encouraging me to never give up on my hopes and dreams. Your love and support gave me the strength and courage to overcome any obstacle, to be independent, and to never settle for less. Thank you for never failing to be there for me.

Patience, thank you very much for all your help in making this book publish ready. Your kindness and support aided me in pushing past my pain to make sure my story was told.

It would be impossible for me to determine the immense influence that these individuals have had on almost every area of my life. There are some things that only lifelong friends can say and you guys said it with love.

Mark Elliot

Amanda & Les

Cecilia and Daniel

Phyllis F.

Vaughns Family

Margaret C.

Marsha G.

Carla & Raymond

Toler family

Lawson family

Artise L.

Marisha and Brenda R.

Pete Family

Phyllis T.

Monica J., Lisa P., Dan C., Diana S.,

and my K.I.P.P. family

Mrs. Bonny C.

Tess R.

Jovita H., Tasha B., Tonya L.

Kim S.

Amber D.

Floydie M.

Ms. Elsa

CHAPTER ONE

43236.jpg

Welcome To My World

Our life is what our thoughts make it.

—Marcus Aurelius

W hen I was a little girl I remember always feeling so unhappy about my life. I cannot tell you any happy memories from my youth. My earliest memory from childhood is from age 8. My mom was one of those women that always had a man around. It wasn’t until my early teen years that I remember us not living with some random man. I thought my momma was the prettiest woman in the whole world. She was a full figured, caramel colored beauty with flawless skin and a curvy, appealing body. We lived in a duplex and she was dating the Reverend of our church that lived downstairs. Even though I was the baby of the family and had two older sisters my mom would always send me to his apartment to pick up money, ice, and other items that she wanted. He encouraged her to send me frequently to his apartment to pick up items in order to get me alone. One day when I arrived at his apartment he told me to come in the kitchen with him to get ice out of the fridge. After he got the ice, he picked me up and sat me on the counter. He began to kiss and undress me. After he violated me, I was warned that if I ever told anyone he would hurt my mom and we would be homeless because he paid our rent. After he threatened me I left his apartment and cried as I went upstairs to give her the ice. She saw me crying but she did not ask why.

A couple of months passed and he began to invite other ministers from the church to come over to his house so they could join in on touching me. One day he called my mom and told her to send me downstairs to help him wash his clothes. I went downstairs and he told me to come into his bedroom. He instructed me to sit on the bed and then he tried to make me touch him. I became terrified and screamed. He was amused by my reaction as I began to wave my arms frantically. I pushed him and ran back to our apartment.

I was visibly shaken so my oldest sister, Irene, asked me why I was so upset. I told her what happened. She immediately made me tell my mother. My mom asked me if he was giving me money. I told her no. She then began to beat me. She hit me with her fists, her shoes, a hairbrush, whatever she could lay her hands on until she was exhausted and I was no longer able to stand. That night I tossed and turned from the pain and from the regret of not kissing or playing with the snake. During the early morning hours she came and got me from bed and she began to ask me questions about what happened between me and the love of her life. I was only eight years old.

I stayed home the next day from school because I had cuts and bruises from the beating I received the day before. Just as if nothing had happened I was forced to attend church, the same church where all the ministers that had stolen my innocence preached and taught the word of God. I hated church and I hated her.

Over the next couple of months my body began to change. I started my menstrual cycle and my breasts began to develop. In my young mind I knew that I had to do something to prevent my mother’s future boyfriends from touching me. At first food just brought me comfort, but soon its role changed to my protector. The more I ate the bigger I became. I equated the weight gain as a sign that I was becoming stronger. With strength I was also becoming less attractive to men.

During the second half of my elementary school years we moved in with another man. One day he and my mother got into a fight and he angrily left the house. I remember sitting in front of the TV watching Good Times and eating chips when he kicked in the front door of the house and began to punch her in the face and kick her. My older sisters tried to get him off of her so he began to beat on them as well. I was afraid and I ran out of the house to the nearest pay phone to call 911. When I returned to the house my mom was screaming in pain because he had thrown her onto a cactus plant in the front yard. When the ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital the drivers where amazed by the cacti needles and mud all over her body. One of the men commented that she looked like a female mud wrestler. I remember that the comment put a guilty smile on my face and she glared at me furiously.

My older sisters called their boyfriends and they came over to protect us. They repaired the front door and they were ready for my mom’s boyfriend to return. Thank goodness he did not come back that night because it would have been a blood bath. When my mom returned home she cursed me out and said I was a wimp for not helping them fight. I ignored her as always and went to the kitchen for a snack.

I knew I had to get away from my mom. She could not be trusted. Ever since she and my dad had divorced, I had a fascination with fairy tales and I always looked at my mom as being the evil step mother and I was the princess that needed to be rescued. Daddy had moved from Texas to New York and I rarely saw him during my childhood. I often fantasized about Prince Charming. I read as many Harlequin Romance Novels as I could get my hands on. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that one day someone would save me from this horrific life. One day a handsome young man would come into my life and he would love and protect me. He would change my life forever. My happy ever after would be better than any storybook ending. As a result of his love I would begin to feel special. I would feel like there was a reason why I was born. I would have purpose and now, thanks to him, a reason to live. He would not have to tell me that he loved me because his actions would speak volumes about his love for me. He would embrace who I was, imperfections and all, unlike my family that only tolerated me because blood was thicker than water. For the first time in my life I would belong.

In middle school I was overweight and my hygiene was not always the best. I was an honors student but because I was so miserable at home I would act out. I was defiant and I never had problems expressing how I felt to teachers and any other adult that was in my presence. I felt like I had nothing to lose. In the 80’s teachers were allowed to paddle. I was used to getting paddled on a regular basis. On this one particular day I got in a verbal altercation with one of my teachers. Honestly, reflecting over the situation now, I was defending myself because the teacher would tease me and make belittling remarks. She thought that it would draw negative attention to me by my peers and that in turn would cause me to behave. Her remarks however had the opposite effect, instead of backing down I stood up for myself. My defiance infuriated her. She pulled me from my desk, forced me into the hallway, and threw me up against the lockers. As a result of her anger when she paddled me she repeatedly hit me on my back instead of my butt. I screamed in pain and it felt like my spine had broken in half. When she finished I walked away from her crying and headed to the nurse’s office. My back was swollen and bruised. My mom was called and when she picked me up from school she said she did not care about my back and that I deserved what I got. The damage that was done to my back that day has never fully healed, just like the damage that was done to my soul by my mother.

High school for me was very challenging because I never felt like I fit in. My high school at the time was predominately comprised of Hispanic students and I had to learn about a new culture. I was overweight, low income, and had a dysfunctional family. My only outlet was singing and dancing so I decided to enroll in the Choir class in my sophomore year. By the third day of class I began to develop a friendship with Dart. Little did I know the many ways he would change my life.

CHAPTER TWO

43236.jpg

Once Upon A Time

Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.

—Karen Ravn

D art and I clicked instantly. In my opinion, he was gorgeous. He had caramel colored, smooth, flawless skin. His smile was infectious, showing off his perfect white teeth and pink gums. I loved to listen to him speak; he would always wave his hands around as he spoke, as if his life depended on you understanding his point of view. Being one of the only two African Americans in Choir, plus the fact that his voice sounded like an old woman’s, gave him ample opportunity to speak up and defend himself. We both were considered nerds. We were enrolled in the magnet program for teaching professions and taking advance standing classes. I was a year older than him and, contrary to most stereotypes about nerds; I was popular, outgoing, and outspoken. I didn’t feel like I fit, but the other kids liked me well enough. Dart was not the typical teenage guy. Even though it was the 90’s he had an afro and wore snug fitting pants. All the other boys were wearing brand names like Guess, Girbaud, and IZOD. Hairstyles were low fades, or hair that was cut close to the head with lines or designs etched into them. He did not have a lot of friends and even though I had friends they would never consider becoming friends with him. They thought he was odd and they didn’t understand or approve of my friendship with him either. Even back then I was very opinionated so my friends’ thoughts or comments did not influence my thoughts concerning him.

One day my choir teacher took us on a field trip to a bank to sing holiday carols. Dart and I were paired off to sing I’ll be home for Christmas. We were so nervous about having to sing in front of people. He and I encouraged and supported each other through the entire ordeal. It was at this time that I realized that I had begun to really like him more than other boys.

In my junior year, my English teacher began to take me under her wing and mentor me. She knew from first hand experience that my family life was dysfunctional. She had spoken to my mother many times on the phone and in conferences, and knew what I was dealing with at home. She began to expose me to post high school options. It was a surprise to me that college could even be an option. Was she positive that I could go to college? Why did she have so much confidence in me? Could she not see that I was worthless and would never amount to anything? Regardless of how I felt about myself she never gave up on me. She became more than a mentor to me; I saw her as a second mother.

My senior year came and we began to research and apply to colleges. In addition, I found out that I ranked number 7 in my high school class so I was told I would get into any college I selected. My desire was to get as far away as possible from my family. I applied for schools in Ohio, Puerto Rico, Georgia, Tennessee, Canada, Louisiana, Oregon, Michigan, and Florida. In my mind, the further the college the more freedom I would gain. My friends were all applying to local schools and did not support my decision to apply to schools outside of Texas. Dart supported my college choices and even considered joining me at whatever school I selected after he graduated. I was offered admittance to over 17 schools so I decided to go to the school that offered me the most financial aid. At graduation not only did I get to sit on the stage, I was honored with the Most Outstanding High School Student Award. I was stunned. I was the only student in the entire district to receive the award. What an honor and a privilege! As I accepted the plaque and posed for pictures with the superintendent of the school district I glanced in the area where my family was sitting. My mom and her current boyfriend had already left. Seeing her lack of interest in my award I became even more determined to leave Houston. After graduation I told my mom that I was going to college. She was not very encouraging and I believe she thought I was joking. I was determined to be the first one in my family to get a college degree. That summer I worked to get money for my plane ticket and other items I needed for school. Despite her efforts to discourage me, I had my English teacher and my friends who were cheering for me along the way.

I went to Ohio Wesleyan University. The campus was beautiful and unlike Texas, it actually got cold in the winter. Oh how I loved the campus. I made friends easily and even though there were not many students of color, it felt like home. Enrolling in college gave my life purpose. During my freshman and sophomore years of college, Dart and I kept in touch. I was a little disappointed that he decided to attend a local college.

By my junior year, we drifted apart and I was focused on preparing to study abroad in Spain. During my time there my middle sister, Caitlyn, suffered several major strokes. Even though I wanted to return home I was encouraged by my friends and professors to not put my dreams on hold. I knew that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to study in Spain and I was not really sure of what I could truly provide for my sister other than emotional support. I ignored my emotions and followed my intellect. I remained in Salamanca, Spain