Enough

By Seema Jha

What is enough? When it comes to human emotions, enough is a bouquet of feelings and behaviour born out of complex interactions between sociocultural milieus and basic human emotions. Seema has once again dazzled with her penmanship. No praise is enough for Enough.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jun 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524634346

Seema Jha

Seema Jha is a prolific novelist who lives in Boston, Lincolnshire, UK with her husband and their son.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

That is a nice name, Joy. One of our old film stars was called that. Are you what your name suggests, always happy, Pinky said. She had been a widow for two years. She was wearing the widow's traditional white and found herself wishing she had dispensed with custom and worn colour instead. White was rarely flattering. It was what could be perhaps called a first date.

I'm glad you like it, my name, I mean. In answer to your question, I am not always cheerful. Like everybody else, I am sometimes happy, at other times sad. I can be angry. I experience like most people, the full range of emotions. I guess I am not what my name tries to establish me as. I'm sorry I'm speaking so much. I don't want you to think I am boring. At least, I am, but I don't want you to know it, Joy said. He followed his comments with a sheepish grin. He seemed confident enough but maybe he was nervous. She did not quite know. It was hard to tell. He didn't come across as arrogant which was a good sign.

You mentioned anger. I don't mean to sound rude but this rage of yours, it doesn't get to any enormous lengths, I suppose. Screaming, shouting, physical violence perhaps. It is good to be honest from the very start to avoid disappointment later. I am sure you agree. As for me, I do possess something that in this changing world, might be seen as a waste of time almost, by some. But I can't change that, unfortunately, Pinky said. She became lost in thought not realising she had stopped mid-way without telling him what that particular trait of hers was. She couldn't help thinking that her performance on this so-called date was dismal by any standards. She had come dressed in not at all a glamorous way and her conversation and mannerisms were far from seductive. She felt sure he had many candidates and if there was indeed a queue, she would no doubt be last.

You do like suspense, don't you. What is it. You don't drink do you. I am a teetotaller myself, don't smoke either. I am not that interesting a person really. I enjoy my work. Of hobbies, I have just one. I like reading, fact, not fiction. In a nutshell, that is who I am. I wish there were more, but there isn't. A lawyer committed to his job. There are scores of us around. Looks wise, as you can see, I'm average, if that. We can't all look like film stars, I'm afraid, Joy said. There was something very charming about him. It felt as if he wasn't trying to be something he was not. Pretence seemed to be furthest from his mind and that appealed to her. He was dressed simply in a light brown shirt, black trousers and black shoes.

No, I don't drink. The very idea. I am just quite religious. I hope you have nothing against that. If you do, then we might as well go our separate ways. My God is precious to me and if I have to sacrifice you for Him, then so be it, Pinky said. She would not budge from her position. If he had a problem with that, then there was no point in continuing their conversation.

I believe in God, myself. I must admit that I don't go to temples but I do pray for about five minutes in the morning and five before going to bed. I will never come in the way of your worship, I assure you. In fact, I shall do my best to encourage you in this good act. A lot is wrong in this world and I see nothing wrong in praying for order to be restored. I am not an atheist, if that is what you mean, he said. He smiled at her gently. She realised suddenly he still hadn't answered her question about anger. She found herself thinking she wouldn't ask him about that again. For one thing, even if he were violent, he would scarcely admit it. For another, she didn't want to come across as one of those boring women who had a tendency of repeating things. If only she were more intelligent, she could have arrested his attention with her riveting style of speech.

I'm relieved to hear that. It wouldn't have worked otherwise, she said. She felt annoyed she had said that. It sounded strange. It was as if she was stating that the choice of selection or rejection solely lay with her. She realised she was fidgeting. This sort of situation wasn't an easy one. She couldn't help being slightly anxious. Anyone in her shoes would have been the same. She was being too hard on herself.

Now that we have discussed one grave issue, religion, shall we speak of another, politics, he said. He had nice eyes. They spoke of honesty, sincerity and passion. She lowered her gaze. Maybe he was trying to gauge what sort of a person she was from the way she spoke. If truth be told, she was doing precisely the same thing. A brief pause followed.

In my view, most people who get into politics are driven by the attraction of being at the helm of affairs. A few actually want to make a difference. If by some chance, the latter do get in, all sorts of lobbies and the corruption around them does not care for their honesty and hinders them from doing anything useful. So the status quo remains, especially in our country. That in my opinion is politics in a nutshell. Make what you will of it but that is what I choose to believe, she said. She wondered if she had spoken more than was necessary. But he had asked more or less a question of sorts and it had to be answered. If it differed from his thoughts, there was not much she could do about it.

That is a very odd view. There have been politicians who have achieved quite a bit. But by and large, you are not exactly wrong. And even if you are, you are entitled to your opinion, he said. He gave her a very studious gaze. It did not turn into a conversational battle-field and she felt good about that. She felt a little self-conscious as he stared at her and patted her hair to check if it had become unkempt.

Maybe we should talk about films next. Do films reflect society or does society occasionally imitate cinema, she said. She felt a little embarrassed. It was as if she was announcing each and every thought of hers on various subjects in a sort of verbal madness. Perhaps she was trying to impress him. Whether he would think much of her comments, she did not know. In her own defence, it wasn't as if she was the one asking questions on various topics, it was he who mostly was.

Both are true, I think. I like thought provoking movies but I also like pure entertainment. Society reflects cinema and vice versa. Perhaps I've put it badly but you know what I mean, he said. He bowed his head. He seemed to be pondering on something. Or maybe he didn't know what to say next.

I watch only clean movies. Filth disgusts me, she said. She lowered her eyelashes. She could feel his piercing eyes even through her eyelids. He seemed a decent enough man.

Filth. I don't quite understand. No, I think I do. You are a prudent woman, I grant you that, he said. He looked at her lovingly. There was a twinkle in his eyes which indicated she had amused him without meaning to.

I have a child. She's three, she said. She became silent after that. She thought of little Nita. She had asked a friend to babysit her. It was time she went home.

Wise women are not often considered frightfully alluring, I'm aware of that fact. Yet that is essentially who I am. A woman who does not like to go beyond margins. A woman who likes to live by the rules and norms of society without challenging them. A woman who likes to conform rather than stand out like a sore thumb. The picture I'm painting of myself is no doubt gloomy but it is true. I don't leap against traditions, I respect them. That is the gist of it, I'm afraid, Pinky said. Just as there was clearly no façade about him, there should be none regarding her own self. She hoped he would appreciate the fact that she was being honest with him.

"That can be a subject for further debate. Whether the good character of a woman can be seen as dull. Perhaps it can by foolish men. I do not know. I do not