Widow Warrior: Praying Circles from Widowhood

By Sherry Cosby

Widowhood is one of the hardest and most painful experiences we women have to endure. Sometimes, though, there are no words to capture the pain, loneliness, and at times, desperation when finding yourself without your life mate. Prayer is the only answer when we are bent beneath the load of widowhood, because we have His promise that He will lift us and be our strong refuge when trouble comes. This devotional offers the widows aching heart a way to pray circles from widowhood, when the words just dont come because of the heavy grief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 25, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512725506

Sherry Cosby

Sherry Cosby is a mother, grandmother, and veteran teacher. After forty-one blessed years of marriage to her soul mate and best friend, she found herself without her beloved husband, Mark, following his sudden death. The enemy didn’t stop with just Mark’s death. He pelted Sherry and her family with more pain and agony. Fortunately, a couple of weeks after Mark’s death, a family friend told Sherry about Mark Batterson’s book, The Circle Maker, eventually leading her, and now you, to pray circles from widowhood.

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Copyright © 2016 Sherry Cosby.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-2551-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2552-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2550-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016900074

WestBow Press rev. date: 1/25/2016

CONTENTS

Introduction:   Before You Begin

Day 1:   Pray without Ceasing

Day 2:   Testimony

Day 3:   God’s Grace

Day 4:   Pharaohs in Your Life

Day 5:   Courage!

Day 6:   A Time for Everything

Day 7:   Seek God’s Face

Day 8:   Call Me Mara

Day 9:   Such Things Were Written in the Scriptures

Day 10:   Soul Mates

Day 11:   Rainbows and Butterflies

Day 12:   Angels Watching Over Me

Day 13:   Prey for Satan

Day 14:   Contend for Me

Day 15:   Yield to the Spirit

Day 16:   Press On

Day 17:   Be My Guide

Day 18:   Pilgrimage through the Valley of Weeping

Day 19:   The Potter and the Clay

Day 20:   Restore the Sparkle to My Eyes

Day 21:   Yearn for Heaven

Day 22:   Stand Still and Let God Move

Day 23:   Denial—Stage 1 of the Grieving Process

Day 24:   Anger—Stage 2 of the Grieving Process

Day 25:   Bargaining—Stage 3 of the Grieving Process

Day 26:   Depression—Stage 4 of the Grieving Process

Day 27:   Acceptance—Stage 5 of the Grieving Process

Day 28:   Satisfied

Day 29:   FROG

Day 30:   This Is the Day

Day 31:   The Lord Is Good

Day 32:   Sing from the Valley

Day 33:   The Shepherd’s Perspective

Day 34:   Spiritual Tenacity

Day 35:   Hearing God’s Voice

Day 36:   Prayer, Praise, and Thanksgiving

Day 37:   Stone

Day 38:   Be Content

Day 39:   Plans

Day 40:   Reconstruction and Restoration—Beulah Land

For Your Days Remaining

About The Author

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

All Scripture quotations in this publications are from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. The Living Bible, TLB, and the The Living Bible logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers.

The beautiful artwork is bestowed upon us from the blessings and talents of Kevin Monaghan, Aldie, Virginia. He can be reached at [e-mail].

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be

able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

—Ephesians 6:11 (KJV)

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Pray without ceasing.

—1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)

The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me

victory. This is my God, and I will praise Him—my father’s

God, and I will exalt Him! The Lord is good, a strong refuge

when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in Him.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

—Exodus 15:2; Nahum 1:7; Psalm 91:4b

To my darling Mark: I will be with you soon,

and this time it will be for eternity.

To Bob and Ginger Evelyn: You are God’s blessings of true friendship.

To Jason Gillentine: You are God’s blessings of angels on earth.

I cried, smiled, and eventually laughed as I read Widow Warrior: Praying Circles from Widowhood. I have to admit that I couldn’t just stop at one prayer challenge a day. I wrote each day in my prayer journal as I took on this prayer challenge, but I couldn’t wait to see, and then write about, the challenging ideas for Scripture and prayer that the next day would bring to my heart.

—Donna Staples, Blacksburg, Virginia

In the book of Ruth, Naomi is torn from abundance and sent into desert at the death of her husband and sons. In the process, she changes her name to Mara, which means bitter. The balance of the book recounts Naomi’s reclaiming her name, learning to live as a widow, and discovering abundance in the desert. In these pages, Sherry Cosby describes a similar journey, beginning with the death of her best friend / husband. Sherry is honest and faithful as she describes the Good Shepherd walking with her in the valley of the shadow; as you read the story, you find the ways Sherry discovers the Lord’s abundance in the desert.

—Pastor Chris Riedel, Arcola United Methodist Church, Sterling, Virginia

Sherry and Mark’s faithfulness and devotion to God, and their kind, generous spirits, were a special blessing to our church and to my family as I served as the Cosbys’ pastor.

Whether you are a newborn babe in Christ or a mature believer of many years walking with the Lord, I would encourage you to read this book that is born from a love of Christ and of His Word.

Sherry and Mark’s love as husband and wife was based upon their shared faith and prayer life. This firm foundation was the strength that sustained Sherry in her deep sorrow and loss at Mark’s sudden death as she sought to understand how God was still present, fulfilling His promises even in the darkest hours.

If you should be dealing with the loss of a loved one or should be the pastor or friend of someone who is, Sherry’s poignant and honest sharing of loss and sorrow will strike you as true and real. Her personal testimony and sharing of biblical promises and insights regarding prayer will prove to be a blessing to you, as well. May God’s Holy Spirit move powerfully through Sherry’s witness so that you, too, may come to experience Christ’s promises and loving care."

—Rev. Dr. William Nash Wade (ret.), Upperville United Methodist Church, Upperville, Virginia

INTRODUCTION

Before You Begin

Deal bountifully with your servant that I may live and keep Your Word. Open my eyes that I may see wondrous things from Your law. I am a stranger in the earth, do not hide Your commandments from me. My soul breaks with longing for Your judgments at all times. Give me understanding and I shall observe Your law; indeed I shall observe it with my whole heart. Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to Your Word to Your servant. Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

—Psalm 119:17–20, 34, 76, 105 (NKJV)

M y friend LaDawn first introduced Mark Batterson’s book The Circle Maker to me a couple of weeks after my beloved husband, Mark, went home with Jesus, in May 2013. LaDawn lives in a town that is a two-hour drive from me and my family. She had just finished her master’s degree in counseling and was about to embark on seminary school. LaDawn gave me so much to think about, as I was having a very difficult time with Mark’s sudden departure to heaven. She asked me if I had drawn circles around the many decisions I had to make, as well as around my deep grief. I did not understand her question, so she and I spent the next two hours on the phone talking about how to draw prayer circles.

After LaDawn and I finished our talk, I immediately ordered The Circle Maker online. However, I could not wait two to three business days for my book to arrive, so I downloaded a copy to my iPad. My grief and despair were holding me captive because my greatest fear, of having to live on earth without Mark, had just come to pass. I had started seeing a Christian grief counselor, Kathy, in my area a couple of weeks earlier. Kathy suggested that I start a prayer journal to help me with my grief. I found that a spiral notebook was easiest for me, because I could carry it wherever I went and I could easily glue items into it. Some items I glued into the back of my prayer journal were copies of particular hymns from a hymnbook that spoke to my heart (e.g., Amazing Grace), a psalm, a drawing or picture, or the lyrics to a song I heard on the radio. Sometimes friends would e-mail me a Scripture, so I would print it, cut it out, and glue it onto another page at the back of my journal.

For the first couple of weeks that I wrote in my journal, I was writing practically the same things. I was in a deep spell of grief and could hardly get past where I was. Mark and I were fortunate enough to have both been raised in strong Christian homes. Although we both steadfastly held to the promise of eternal life with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I was having a very difficult time trying to navigate this life alone, without Mark. After all, Mark had been my boyfriend for the last forty-five years and my beloved husband for the last forty-one years. After I started reading The Circle Maker, I could not quit writing in my prayer journal.

Suddenly finding myself alone was frightening, but then, who practices being alone, especially as a widow? Early in our marriage, Mark was a pilot in the US Air Force and was away for several months at a time, but we had planned for the separation and were able to keep in contact with each other via phone and mail. After a near-fatal plane crash, Mark prepared for me what he called the Doomsday Book. This was my book of instructions about what to do, people to call, accounts to take care of, and so on, if something happened to him. After Mark got out of the air force, he kept the Doomsday Book current because he traveled extensively for business. After his sudden death, the Doomsday Book was such a help to me, especially for the first weeks’ business items I had to take care of. We had discussed action items in generalities only, and not past the immediate business that had to be taken care of after a death. We found it too painful to ponder a life for one of us without the other. Now, I felt all alone, especially after our children, grandchildren, and family members left after Mark’s funeral. They had to resume their normal lives. My life is anything but normal. However, creating a new normal for ourselves as widows is what the rest of our lives here on earth is about.

Since we started our life together as husband and wife, Mark and I read Scripture to each other each evening and did our own couples’ devotions and Bible study together. When we awoke each morning and made the bed together, we discussed the previous night’s Scripture, devotion, and Bible study, mentioning how it would apply to our day. When Mark traveled for business, he called me each morning and evening to do our Scripture reading, devotions, and Bible study over the phone.

For several months before Mark went home to heaven, his heart was in a state of unrest. The Scripture readings, devotions, and Bible study we were doing just weren’t as satisfying to him as they had been before. We spent many hours searching through our home library, online, and in Christian bookstores for devotional and Bible-study materials, without finding what he was searching for. Mark would tell me that he felt such unrest in the kingdom when he prayed and, one day, got an answer: to read the book of Revelation. Many times Mark’s interpretations and discussions of the Revelation reading scared me. He had such an intenseness about, familiarity with, and understanding of the book of Revelation. Often Mark would be in deep prayer for several minutes, not hearing me calling his name. In the months that followed Mark’s home-going, some things have been revealed to me. I will share these things with you in the pages that follow. Since Mark’s departure for heaven, I have often wondered whether he knew that he would be going home so soon.

One realization I have come to is that the Bible has been a Doomsday Book in a whole different way for me, because now the Bible is filled with God’s promises and revelations to circle from widowhood. Over the next forty days, I challenge you to record your thoughts and prayers in your prayer journal. Claim His Word, promises, and revelations as He reveals them to you. Your prayer journal is your roster of God’s amazing miracles in your life. Be honest in recording your feelings and meditations, and you will see how our Lord will transform you and your heart.

There were so many days when I couldn’t find the words to pray, so I prayed Scripture. When I heard or came across verses that spoke to my heart, I started to form them into my own Scripture prayer. I encourage you to do the same. Write and revise your own Scripture prayer as you read the following pages. I found that in praying my Scripture prayer, I was also committing more personally relevant verses to memory and thinking and speaking in the language of the Holy Scriptures. Every day, occasions arise when some verses from my Scripture prayer automatically come to mind. I was truly experiencing Psalm 34:8 from the inside out: Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge.

Make the Word of God the language by which you live. Just as you learned from your parents, relatives, and friends as you grew up how to speak in your native tongue and became familiar with the customs intertwined with your native language, you can learn our heavenly Father’s language and customs through His Word. We can learn His language only by actively reading, memorizing, living, and writing it with every fiber of our beings, allowing His Word to shape our morals, spirituality, actions, behaviors, thoughts, and speech patterns. You have to actively and intentionally incorporate His language into your life as you interact with His Word and with others around you so that you, too, can speak the language of God. When you read, study, and meditate upon His Word, seek out, search and compare different Bible versions. Pray them. Commit them to memory. Act and speak according to them until they are a part of your nature and part of your repertoire of thoughts and thought processes, actions, behaviors, and problem-solving strategies—until they are part of the way you love and interact with others and all that is in God’s world. There are three Scripture verses that bring together for us and cement the importance of learning His language by actively reading, memorizing, living, and writing it with every fiber of our beings:

If you sin without knowing what you’re doing, God takes that into account. But if you sin knowing full well what you’re doing, that’s a different story entirely. Merely hearing God’s law is a waste of your time if you don’t do what He commands. Doing, not hearing, is what makes the difference with God (Romans 2:12–13 MSG). For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12 NKJV).

I open and close each prayer challenge with selections from His Word to which you can respond, noting how these promises of the day can lead you through your widowhood and your broken heart, broken life, grief, and recovery. This is your new journey with our Lord, as He reconstructs, restores, and repurposes you for His glory and honor.

Dear Lord,

Open my eyes that I may see

Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;

Place in my hands the wonderful key

That shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for Thee,

Ready, my God, Thy will to see;

Open my eyes, illumine me,

Spirit Divine!

Open my ears that I may hear

Voices of truth Thou sendest clear;

And while the wave notes fall on my ear,

Everything false will disappear.

Open my mouth and let me bear

Tidings of mercy everywhere;

Open my heart and let me prepare

Love with Thy children thus to share.

Open my mind that I may read

More of Thy love in word and deed;

What shall I fear while yet Thou dost lead?

Only for light from Thee I plead.

—Clara H. Scott, 1895

DAY 1

Pray without Ceasing

Always be joyful. Always keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

—1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (TLB)

O ur joy, thankfulness, and prayers should remain consistent, no matter how our circumstances change. In my time of grief after my husband became unwell, it was hard for me to verbalize to God what was in my broken heart. I had to contend with funeral arrangements, incoming phone calls, seemingly never-ending tears, and hard crying. All I could do was to ask Him to hear me and to listen to my heart. He understood the pain I was in. There were so many times when I didn’t know what to pray, so I started writing my prayers from Scripture. At least I had something to hold on to as I searched for my own words to pray. I started with the book of Psalms.

For the first time in my life, I was in unchartered territory with my prayer life. I was so lost that I didn’t know what I needed. Grief struck me so hard and so many times that I hardly knew what to pray or even how to pray. I was almost frenetic in my prayer time, prayer requests, and Scripture readings, because I was searching for answers to how to live my new life—a life that I did not want! How could I be joyful, pray without ceasing, and be thankful when my life had been turned upside down, my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest, and my spirits were crushed? What better time to start? At first, all I could pray were short prayers for strength and guidance.

Lord, help me to call the children about Mark’s deteriorating condition.

Lord, what did the doctor just say? Was it, ‘I’m sorry. We did everything we could’?

Lord, it will be hours before the children arrive. Why is my body shaking so hard? What, Doctor? It’s shock? Help me, Lord!

Lord, help me help our children and grandchildren get through this. They are looking to me for answers and comfort.

Lord, Cori is driving me home from the hospital without Mark. How do we go into the house when Mark is not there and he will never be coming to our home again?

Lord, how can I do this without Mark?

Lord.

I needed to get back on track, so I decided to read the Bible systematically. I came across Eugene Peterson’s The Daily Message, which outlines a plan to read the Bible in a year. Peterson also has focus questions to meditate upon. I felt that I needed to learn about our God in a way that was different from ever before. I had to come to know God from widowhood instead of from the perspective of a wife, mother, grandmother, and teacher. The only way to know our