Beyond the Veil: Intimacy with God
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About this ebook
BEYOND THE VEIL: INTIMACY WITH GOD is a true account of author Sandra Labordes year-long journey of being set apart with the Lord. During that year Sandra encountered many rough terrains as she learned how to trust God. Her journey begins as she seeks to know God intimately. While on this journey, God begins to work in the deep recesses of her heart, removing hidden areas of shame, fear, and unforgiveness. As the veils were removed from her heart she became purified spiritually, physically, and emotionally. As she allowed Holy Spirit to cleanse her heart she was able to draw closer to God- but she experienced great pain along the journey. While climbing the mountain of intimacy she discovered the transforming power of the love of God, the Father. During the purification process Sandras passion for Jesus deeply intensified as she encountered the heart and emotions of God.
Sandra D. Laborde
Sandra D. Laborde is a certified massage therapist and a natural health consultant. She is the founder of Touching Hearts Health and Wellness, a ministry through which she equips people to live in divine health and wholeness. She lives with her husband in New Jersey, where she homeschools their two children.
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Beyond the Veil - Sandra D. Laborde
WEEK 1
Entering the Bridal Chamber
DAY 1 - SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 - SATURDAY:
The night before starting this journey I could not sleep because I was so excited.
Sandra: Papa, I am so excited. I heard Your call to come away with You.
Papa: Yes, My daughter, and you responded to My call.
When noon time came I prepared to enter into the Bridal Chamber to meet the Lord. I bathed myself in oils and put on my worship attire. As I walked slowly up the soft carpeted stairs, the closer and closer I got up to the top the more I felt His Holy presence surround me. This Bridal Chamber was a place reserved for my Bridegroom King, Jesus. When I reached the top of the stairs and entered the Bridal Chamber I took a deep breath.
Sandra: Papa, this place is beautiful.
Papa: My daughter, you are beautiful.
I had a crooked smile at the corner of my mouth.
Papa: My daughter, I want you to take communion with Me in the Bridal Chambers.
I walked over to the communion table, and communed with my Father.
Papa: My daughter, as you take communion you remember the sufferings of My son Jesus and you draw closer to Him.
And when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, This is My Body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.
In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.
For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes. (1 Corinthians 11:24-26)
After communion I sat on the floor in a quiet stillness soaking in His presence.
Papa: My daughter, as you lay down in My presence I want you to know that you will get a makeover inside and outside. I want to totally rearrange you.
I didn’t really know what that meant, but I know that a makeover from God sounds great.
Sandra: Papa, thank you. I am looking forward to this makeover.
In the evening, while sitting on the floor pillow mediating on the days ahead, Papa began dialoging with me.
Papa: Sandra, I want you to know that intimacy and transparency relate with each other. My daughter, I want you to experience a deeper level of intimacy that is why I will strip you bare until you are no longer noticeable so people will see Jesus right through you.
I sat still with no words to utter. A strange feeling came over me as memories started to flood my mind. I remembered as a small child how I wanted to place a brown bag over my head. I wanted to be invisible because the dark cloud of shame always followed me around.
Sandra: Papa, why are You showing me the pain of my past?
Papa: My daughter, the past is still affecting you today. Sandra, I always wanted to give you a beautiful crown of glory. Your crown has your name on it, but because of your struggle with worthlessness and fear you were never ready to receive what I have for you. I want to remove the filthy rags that adorn. I want to clothe you with garments of righteousness.
I began weeping profusely.
Papa: My daughter, I marvel at your beauty.
As I listened to Papa I started to feel intense waves of love pouring on me. I began feeling too weak to remain sitting up so I laid down on the fluffy chaise lounge. Papa showed me a vision. In the vision I saw Jesus putting a ring on my finger.
Sandra: I am too overwhelmed to speak so I am going to just stay here with You for awhile enjoying Your presence.
DAY 2 - SEPTEMBER 20, 2009 - SUNDAY:
On the second day of this consecration I began to realize what this would entail for me. For one year I was giving up my relationships with friends and family, all the social events that I enjoyed; e-mail communications, conferences, and phone conversations.
Sandra: Papa, I will be obedient at whatever cost because I want to be Your friend like Moses, Abraham and Enoch.
While I spoke to Papa, I began feeling an unsettling sensation rising up deep inside my being as the memories of the past came crashing on me like a ton of bricks.
Sandra: Papa, I am completely shocked. You called me away for a year to heal deep emotional wounds?
Papa: Yes, My daughter, in order to draw you closer to Me I must clean you out so I can pour out the secrets and mysteries of My heart. Will you trust Me and allow Me to clean you out?
Sandra: Yes, Papa, I will trust you.
Instantly the emotional pain returned.
Papa: My daughter, your low self worth caused you to view Me differently than I am. You always seek the approval of man to justify your worth. However, in our journey you will learn your identity in Me. My Son, Jesus paid a price for you. My daughter, many of My children do not fully know they’re worthy of Me.
For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.
(1 Corinthians 6:20)
DAY 3 - SEPTEMBER 21, 2009 - MONDAY:
This morning I felt the spirit of God dancing around me. His spirit hovered over me even while performing my daily activities like cooking, cleaning, and teaching my children.
Sandra: Papa, I am enjoying You and Your presence.
As I inhaled the aroma of my Father I heard a horrible shrieking voice saying to me, You are so silly! Whoever heard of a shut in or consecration as you call it for a whole year? Don’t you know it is written never to forsake the assembly of the saints?
When this voice was finished whispering in my ear, for a few seconds I began feeling guilty and doubtful. I recognize this voice from previous encounters. This was not the voice of the Lord, but it was the accuser of the brethren, Satan. Then Jesus came into the scene, my defender.
Jesus: Sandra, my lovely one, you are being prepared like Queen Esther to meet your King of kings. Don’t doubt what God is doing in your life. You are being set apart for the Lord so you can be used for God’s glory.
Now when the turn of each young lady came to go in to King Ahasuerus, after the end of her twelve months under the regulations for the women…
(Esther 2:12)
In the late afternoon, I went to the Bridal Chamber and I lay down still on the carpeted floor with the prayer shawl completely covering my body. In complete silence I began feeling the warmth of Papa’s arms. He cradled me in His arms, and whispered softly in my ears.
Papa: I will begin to remove the toxins from your life; you will draw closer to Me.
Sandra: Papa, will I experience pain as You detoxify me?
Papa: My daughter, I will never leave you nor forsake you. In the midst of the dark valleys I am still there.
As Papa spoke, I began to feel a sense of peace enter the room covering me like a blanket.
Sandra: Your words, Papa, are like soft gentle kisses. Thank You for Your kisses.
DAY 6 - SEPTEMBER 24, 2009 - THURSDAY:
"His head and His hair were white like white wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire. His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters." (Revelation 1:14-15)
My heart yearns for more of Jesus.
Sandra: My Bridegroom King, Jesus come closer to me.
DAY 7 - SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 - FRIDAY:
I woke up early in the morning, but I remained in bed. As I lay there I saw Papa with a scalpel knife in His hands, and the knife was coming towards my heart.
Sandra: Papa, why is that knife coming towards me?
The sharp knife begins to cut different angles of my heart.
Sandra: Ouch! This process is very painful. Papa, I can’t take this excruciating pain. This is not for me. I have been in this consecration for only one week, maybe it is not too late to back out.
Papa: My daughter, remain steadfast angels are with you. Remember, there is always a cost to pay to go deeper into the chambers of My heart. Take heart, and remember those that went before you. Queen Esther was hidden for a year before she met the king, and in her obedience she was able to change the destiny of a nation. Paul went through many trials which even cost him his life, and yet he wrote half of the New Testament of the Bible.
Still in pain from the initial cut of the scalpel knife, I began feeling many daggers in my heart.
Papa: Sandra, remain steadfast while I continue cutting deeper. The more debris I remove from your life the closer you will come to Me.
A sigh reverberates from deep inside my being.
Papa: To be a carrier of My glory fire is costly.
Sandra: Papa, I am willing to pay the price.
Papa: Trust Me, I will never leave you nor will I lead you astray.
WEEK 2
I Will Not Give You More Than You Can Bear
DAY 8 - SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 - SATURDAY:
Since early this morning I was gripped with a strong spirit of intercession. So I prayed throughout the day as I could sense a high activity level in the spirit realm. During my prayer I saw a vision of a big Lion with a golden crown on His head. The crown was splendid. It was adorned with many jewels. I saw the Lion taking steps towards the earth, and the closer the Lion got to the earth the more definitive its features became. As the Lion walked closer and closer towards the earth everything on the earth began to shake. The shaking on the earth intensified and the Lion began to roar. I stood still thinking about the profound meaning of this vision.
Sandra: Papa, the Lion of Judah will shake the earth as His coming draws closer.
Papa: Yes, My daughter, the systems of man on the earth will be shaken. Whatever is not firmly grounded on the solid Rock of Jesus will not withstand the shaking to come.
I started hearing a drum beating and it was getting louder and louder.
Sandra: Papa, what is that sound?
Papa: That drum beating is the sound of My heart getting closer to the earth. My daughter, all of creation groans for the coming of the King of kings.
"For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now." (Romans 8:22)
I continued praying and singing in the spirit.
In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
(Romans 8:26)
Sandra: Oh, Papa, give me Your heart for Your people!
Papa: I am pleased to know you desire this. My heart longs for the brokenhearted, the lost and spiritual dying world.
DAY 9 - SEPTEMBER 27, 2009 - SUNDAY:
I entered the Bridal Chamber with great anticipation.
Sandra: Papa, what are we going to do today? I am ready for Your plans.
Papa: My daughter, now that I cut your heart open I want to reveal what lies dormant and hidden deep inside you. First, I will expose shame.
Sandra: Papa, I do not think I struggle with shame at all. It was an issue from my past.
I began feeling a dark cloud hanging over my body, and I put my head downwards towards the floor. The dark cloud started to become oppressive as past memories invaded my mind.
Sandra: I remember always feeling ashamed to be myself. I dislike my hair, my complexion, my height, and my size. Papa, sometimes I wondered did You forget about me. I look at Your beautiful creation, and I stare in the mirror and I wonder what happened?
I started to hear Papa weeping, and so I began to cry also.
Sandra: Papa, why are You weeping?
Papa: I love you, Sandra, you are My handiwork. My daughter, I am your Maker, and I see the beauty in you. Your beauty dwells in Me. Continue to gaze at My beauty. My daughter, when you reject yourself you are rejecting Me. How can you be intertwined with Jesus if you are rejecting yourself?
For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.
(Psalm 139:13-15)
Sandra: I repent. Please forgive me. I want more of You. Every fiber of my being screams out for You.
Papa: My daughter, you are undergoing a purification process.
I began weeping again. I wept until I felt too weak and drained to continue.
DAY 10 - SEPTEMBER 28, 2009 - MONDAY:
Early afternoon when I entered into the Bridal Chamber, I looked at my surroundings. Even though I have been coming into the Bridal Chamber for approximately one week now, I never took note of its magnificent beauty. Several months ago God gave me a vision of the Bridal Chamber where I would spend many hours seeking His face. In the vision I saw deep rich opulent colors of red, gold, and mahogany that would be in the Chamber room.
Sandra: Papa, I love the way You decorated the Bridal Chamber. It is so royal and elegant. Papa, this matches Your character. Papa, Your beauty is matchless.
I began feeling the hunger pains again for more of the Lord, and a warm sensation radiating throughout my body. I fell on the carpet landing on my knees, and I started crying out to the Lord.
Sandra: JESUS, YOU ARE THE LOVER OF MY SOUL. Please come. I want to know You with all five of my senses. My King, please I need more of You.
Papa: Lovely one, I am here with you. I know your longings and your desires because I put them there. In My presence alone is where you will be satisfied.
Sandra: Papa, open my eyes to the things of the spirit realm. Let me walk with You hand and hand. I desire Your words to transform Me. I want to look like Jesus. I want His characteristics. Let me be a light that the world draws to.
DAY 11 - SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 - TUESDAY;
Papa: My daughter, I must warn you about keeping your eyes fixed on Me. Do not love anyone or anything more than Me. Sandra, I have called you to be at the feet of Jesus. My daughter, My heart becomes ecstatic when you are pouring your sweet oil of worship onto Me. I have designed you to love and adore Me. When you seek Me first everything else in your life will fall into place. As you bath the feet of Jesus with your oil you change the atmosphere around you. My glorious aroma will infiltrate the atmosphere as your oil is being poured out. My daughter, many people will think you are simply wasting time, but you are hidden in My presence for My name’s sake. Sandra, you are a petite alabaster jar. Even though you are small in stature I have filled you with sweet aromatic oils. My daughter, you were designed to break as My heart breaks so that the oils you contain may spread throughout the earth.
There is a silence in the room. I feel so overwhelmed I could say nothing.
Papa: My daughter, come and meet with Me this evening in the Bridal