The Digital Age: The Real Challenges and Effects on Children and Parents. Why Are They (Our Adults-To-Be) so Unhappy? Our Children Do Deserve to Be Happy but from the Core, Not from the Store.

By Rob Imperato

I wrote this book not to give a negative or bleak outlook on how our culture has evolved with the digital age but to show that the vast and rapid expansion of technology can be and is a double-edged sword. This is to share my perception as to what many are experiencing and what my experiences not only as an adult but as a parent with small glimpses looking back at my own childhood! Most importantly, I share the experiences of the many wonderful parents that have shared with me their concerns and challenges in this highly and ever-evolving technological age, which I feel has become much more of a challenge than when my children were growing up. When it comes to parenting, there is no right or wrong about how we feel. These are our feelings, emotions, and values. No one has the right to tell us how or what we should or should not feel. And I am surely not positioning myself to tell anyone how to raise their children or what they are doing is right or wrong, but possibly to offer insight, to see things from another perspective.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493177974

Book preview

CONTENTS

Introduction

Road Signs, Life Signs

Core Values—Self-Assessment

Insight

There Is More

Parenting And The Digital Age

The Effects

Social Emotional Intelligence

Suggestions

The Children

The Parents

The Family

Integrity

Empathy Versus Sympathy

An Angry Culture

Health

Driving

Bullying

Entitlement

The Financial Blueprint

H.I.N.D.E.R.

H.E.L.P.

Epilogue

Rob’s Statement

Acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

I wrote this book not to give a negative or bleak outlook on how our culture has evolved with the digital age but to show that the vast and rapid expansion of technology can be and is a double-edged sword. This is to share my perception as to what many are experiencing and what my experiences not only as an adult but as a parent with small glimpses looking back at my own childhood! Most importantly, I share the experiences of the many wonderful parents that have shared with me their concerns and challenges in this highly and ever-evolving technological age, which I feel has become much more of a challenge for parents than when my children were growing up.

When it comes to parenting, there is no right or wrong about how we feel. These are our feelings, emotions, and values. No one has the right to tell us how or what we should or should not feel. And I am surely not positioning myself to tell anyone how to raise their children or what they are doing is right or wrong, but possibly to offer insight, to see things from another perspective. Included are some thought-provoking, self-empowering questions. Many parents take it so to heart that they define themselves through their children, above being a parent but as a person. Parenting is tough, but it should not be thought of as job but as a gift that we were given! It is, however, a mission of vision, passion, and purpose. It is an opportunity of a lifetime, with an enormous responsibility attached to it, for the parents but even more so for the children. As will be repeated, knowing what we truly want for our children is the key. Teaching them the life skills and giving them the tools needed to not only navigate but also overcome the obstacles in life offer them the foundation for success. Sharing our wisdom and our own life experiences with them is a customized education that cannot be bought.

Many of us have watched the nature documentaries showing the Animal Kingdom, specifically wildlife Parenting 101. How the mother regardless of specie will protect her babies with her life. Just like human mothers, they are absolutely willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. How that mother teaches her babies the life skills needed to survive and beyond that thrive. And the best chance for them to survive ultimately will be to self-protect! In this case how to hunt, to sense danger, create living quarters be it a nest, den, cave, burrow, etc., in a time frame that she deems necessary for them. She is preparing them for adulthood. Once she deems that the time frame has elapsed, it is time to for them to move out, go out on the own, and create their life. The mothering part of parenting is complete, the nurturing is done. From birth, she instinctively knew what she wanted for them and what they critically needed from her.

Remember, if it is really tough to be a parent in today’s culture, how tough is it to be a child today? I am sure many, many people say it has become so much easier, that kids do have it easier—absolutely, on a physical level, but what about on the emotional level? Stress and the accompanying emotions they are not yet equipped to handle. I will share with you the effects and concerns that were shared to me by both the parents and the wonderful children that I have met and spoken to, remembering that each individual’s perception is their reality, one different from the other but to all a concern.

This is not about all the children and all the parents. This is about the ones that have expressed their challenges and concerns as well as those who are challenged and concerned that I have yet to meet. Take a moment now—right now—to reflect on the incredible moment of childbirth—the giving of life! What a wonderful gift for both parent and child, something that only you could have created—your child. Think about how you felt in that moment, the overwhelming awe, pride, love, and accomplishment. Think about your visions at that point of the future, how hopeful and full of great intention of becoming the best parent your child could want or need. Now at this moment, give yourself credit and acknowledge all you have done, all the effort, all the love, letting go of the ever-repeating self-thought of what you have not done, but for all you have accomplished through thick and thin for your child. And if you have lost sight of that vision, go find it, dust it off, embrace it and continue forward to accomplish what you want most.

ROAD SIGNS, LIFE SIGNS

For the majority of us, when we are traveling, we have usually planned it in advance: the mode of transportation, making reservations, buying tickets, establishing the route, hoping the weather will be good, and, most importantly, knowing our destination—where we want to get to.

Certainly, in my era as a young adult, we planned thoroughly as well and with great ease. We utilized maps, a compass, and even the North Star, if we could find it. We asked our elders for written directions and prayed that they were not having a senior moment, just at that moment. And as a fail-safe, we also asked for directions at any available gas station en-route. (As for myself, I would stop and ask if I were alone. The fear of getting lost was greater than the fear of asking for directions. But if I had a passenger, I pulled up on the passenger side and had them ask while I sat there looking straight ahead, pretending I knew exactly where I was and that the passenger was the one who was lost.) EGO?

Of course, now in the digital age, it has become even easier. We have a host of up-to-the-minute information at our fingertips—MapQuest, GPS, phone GPS, Google Earth, instant weather reports just to name a very few. (If you want any additional resources, just ask your child.) Now that I am considered an elder (By the way, I like the new terminology that the new eighty is now seventy, seventy is now sixty, etc.) and always wanting to be a help, I do not hesitate to offer my vast expertise in travel and my own intuitional experienced GPS—of course, my being proud and vain to share my notable life experience in travel. But I often get the unflattering response, No, but thank you anyway, we will just look it up. WELL I NEVER!!!!!!

Even with all that planning, all that information ready at our fingertips, the GPS turned on, and that annoying curt voice barking out orders, which to me are only disguised as directions, we, more often than not, still look for and read the road signs posted while we are en route. Even if we are traveling by plane, train, bus, boat, we look for signs to airport, railroad station, pier, and bus depot to ensure that we are headed in the right direction, not to get lost and to reach that part of our destination.

It was said that life is a journey, not just a destination. And along our journey, there are signs in life, our life, our inner voice to help us find our path, stay on our journey, find our passion, our purpose, and, ultimately, reach our destination. We have within each of us our own GPS, known as our intuition and values, of how we feel about something, good or bad, or what is right or wrong for us. If we allow ourselves to really understand what we want out of life, not what we expect but what we create, if we take full responsibility to plan our life and not stand on the roadside waiting for it to come along, we then become the creator of our own life’s philosophy. And at our fingertips, we have all the skills we really need.

We have our own road map in Life, which is created by our moral compass, our moral compass being our core values, what is truly important to us, who we truly are beyond behaviors, beyond personality, why we feel the way we do. It is that of being our authentic self. If we watch for our intuitional life signs as intently as we watch for the road signs, they will lead us in the right direction, ultimately to our destination, that of our passion and purpose.

Unfortunately, for many, more often than not, they get ignored. They miss that sign, that exit on the road in life that leads to happiness and fulfillment. Make and take time for yourself: And above all, honor and listen to your intuition. It has your best intention.

CORE VALUES—

SELF-ASSESSMENT

Your core values are often called your guiding principles. They are said to be emotionally charged one word statements that engage your hearts and your minds. They identify the solid core of who you are, what and why you believe as you do, and who you want to be moving forward.

TAKE THE SELF TEST

Please rate each value on a scale of 1-10 based on its importance in your life. Then rate each value on a scale of 1-10 based on how well you live each value, "walk the talk." Total the values for each column. Fill in your own in the blanks as well.

Being that we are a number-driven culture, I have used the number system just to give a visual percentage. This is not a test. There is no right or wrong, just what you feel is right and important to you.

INSIGHT

Why I am writing this book. Sharing what I learned!

Throughout life, I have always gravitated toward others, thriving upon personal interaction and relishing individual life stories, perspectives, and nuances, a student of human nature. Even as a child, as far back as I can remember, I had the great ability and compassion to listen to others, especially those who were upset, who had a problem (a missed sign.)

In