HAPPINESS & HEROISM: The School of Being, The School of Doing: Letter 1: The School of Being

By Y.P.R.

How do you define success for your children? How do you define success for yourself? Are you simply chasing money, fame, or power? What value are those things if you are unhappy, dissatisfied, unwise, or unkind?

Happiness and Heroism is a two-book series consisting of two letters from a father to his children that impart lessons on loving life and walking a noble path. The first letter in the series, The School of Being, teaches the philosophy of the fundamental goodness of existence; mindfulness of true reality; humanity’s innate tendencies to feel stress, fear, anger, boredom, and depression—and the antidote. The second letter in the series, The School of Doing, teaches how and why to choose one’s actions with purpose, thoughtfulness, and based upon principles that can be continually refined as wisdom is amassed throughout one’s lifetime.

Many years ago, the author wrote a letter to legendary writer Kurt Vonnegut on the very same subject matter, to which Mr. Vonnegut replied, “Dear Y.P.R., The toughest part of my job is dealing with people who write better and think more clearly that I do. You may already know that Nietzsche said that only people of deep faith can afford the luxury of skepticism. This could explain your aplomb and mine in the midst of moral chaos.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shinymind Press
• Release date: Dec 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781662941221

Book preview

PREFACE TO BOTH LETTERS

Dear Lyla, Ora, and Asa,

I BEGAN WRITING this to you many years before you were born. It lay buried on my desk, poking its head out now and again for a page to be added or a word changed.

As I moved, worked, traveled, and married, sometimes this writing was forgotten for entire years as life distracted me from it.

This bumbling, undisciplined process has led you and me to this moment, when my letter has finally found its way into your hands.

The basic idea behind this endeavor was to give my children, in writing, a small piece of me that I thought was valuable. But this isn’t just any piece of me; it is specifically about the ideas I have been taught that have quietly helped me feel like the most successful man on earth. And that is what I want to share with you above all else.

The primary method for teaching you these lessons will be through my actions and attitudes as your father in our day-to-day lives together, not by this or any other writing. But the words will try to capture some of the ideas behind those actions and attitudes.

The philosophical concepts in this writing will probably start making sense to you when you are entering your teens. But trust that even if you don’t understand everything at first, it’s okay—this is a gift for your whole lifetime.

As your mother and I raise you, there are two distinct schools of thought I would like to expose you to: I call them The School of Being and The School of Doing.

The School of Being teaches you about your attitude—your state of mind. Graduating from The School of Being will not require you to lift even a finger; and because of this, you might think that mastering this subject will be an easy task.

But being comfortable with who you are, being joyful, being unafraid, being lighthearted, being grateful, being at peace, being focused, being mindful, being curious, being playful, being adventurous, being considerate, being excited to learn new things, being courageous, being confident—even though possessing any one of these attitudes is but a silent state of mind—mastering them will likely be more challenging and more rewarding than any physical skills you acquire.

Now, even as you learn the fine Art of Being, you will still eventually need to do something. You will need to interact with others; you will eventually need to feed and support yourself; and you will need to make daily decisions both as an individual and as a member of your family and community. You will face conflict and crossroads. In short, you will need to take action in this world. That is the realm of the second letter in this series, The School of Doing. There you will gain an understanding of why and how to choose your actions with reason and wisdom rather than with thoughtless impulse; how to do your best to determine right from wrong and act accordingly; why and how to act with honor; why to strive to be kind and noble in your dealings with others; why to develop and refine principles throughout your lives and consistently try to act upon those principles; how to apply those very same principles to try to make sense of the social and political issues of the day; how to set and achieve goals with purpose and balance. In short, why and how to act with what I call heroism.

In The School of Doing, you will gain tools that will help you choose the right course of action in both easy and difficult situations.

How one acts in life is perhaps the most defining aspect of their quality as a human being—ultimately far more reflective of their character than the words they utter.

The relationship between being and doing is a dependent one, since being is the foundation upon which doing occurs. Put another way, there is always an attitude that precedes each action. This attitude—this state of mind—will greatly influence the actions you choose and the adeptness with which you execute them. For example, if you are timid in attitude, you may choose paths of action that avoid risk; whereas if you view life as an adventure, you will boldly explore it. If your attitude is born from a self-image of weakness or inadequacy, you may perceive threats all around you whether they are there or not, and as a result you may retreat from people and opportunities, defend or attack (it is often the weak who attack); whereas if you are deeply rooted in your own self-worth and aware of your inner strength, you will not feel the need to prove yourself and engage in unnecessary conflict. If your attitude is one of mediocrity, you will not strive to achieve much; whereas if you have a sense of purpose—a glint in your eye that tells people that you are destined for greatness—you will aim high and gracefully achieve victory after victory.

Because of this causal (cause-al, not casual) relationship between being and doing—because attitude is such a fundamental precursor to action—the first school to attend in our home is The School of Being.

Even though I began writing this many years before you were born, I already knew with certainty that you would be truly extraordinary human beings. I also accurately predicted that I would love each of you, my children, more than anything else I have ever loved in the entire universe.

—Dad

INTRODUCTION

MY CHILDREN, the thing is, I’m having such a beautiful time in this life.

As is true for each of you, an intricate chain of experiences has brought me here and made me who I am, right now, in this moment. In turn, I would like this writing to be one of your experiences and, in a gentle way, influence who you are.

I have been exposed to many theories about life’s meaning, from Judeo-Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist teachings to atheists, secularists, spiritualists, and mystics of all flavors. I have been wrong so many times in my life about so many things that I now have both the humility and the courage to say that I don’t know for certain what of it all is true or untrue. If I am to be completely honest with you and with myself, only the following morsel is what I know with absolute certainty:

I find myself right now, in this moment, breathing, seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling, remembering, imagining, thinking.

As I sit here, I stop and look at my surroundings. I revel in this sensory awareness—this aliveness.

While I don’t know exactly what I am, I know for certain that I am. I don’t know why I am here, but I know with certainty that I like it.

People value many things in life, but this sensory journey—this ability to be here right now and experience, analyze, and appreciate the world and people around me—this is surely the most valuable thing of all.

I don’t know how long it will last. My consciousness may end entirely and absolutely within the next minute, or it may last a long lifetime, then transcend this body and continue for all eternity.

So, it is based upon what I definitely know about this life, and in humble acceptance of the many things I do not, I present you with my goal as your father.

During your time here, it is my goal that you, my children, shall be successful.

If you are a child in school, some might feel that success means having good grades and lots of friends; if you are an adult in our Western society, then perhaps it means monetary wealth, power, the achievement of fame in one form or another, or the attainment of high status in a given field. If you are a snake or a fish, success might simply mean survival and procreation. However, regardless of what your schoolteachers, friends, and culture may try to teach you about what the word success means, I would like to propose my own special definition, just for you:

Success is a frequent tendency to experience the emotional state of happiness, combined with a frequent tendency to act with heroism.

BY HAPPINESS, I mean that you are someone who, in general, loves your life. Rather than being someone who by habit complains or feels that they are a victim of people or circumstances, you feel a daily appreciation for