Be Your Own Hero: 8 Steps to Transform Your Life

By Lesley Van Staveren

Be Your Own Hero is an invaluable transformational program for taking control of your life and destiny.

Whether you are at a major crossroads or simply wanting to better yourself, this book is a powerhouse in your corner. As you progress through the 8 steps, you will be expertly guided in how to take ownership of

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Abundant Trust
• Release date: Dec 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9780648990017

Lesley Van Staveren

Lesley Van Staveren was born and raised in greater London but emigrated to Cairns, Australia in 2007. She has three young children, and her vision is to contribute to a socially and environmentally conscious world for future generations to thrive in. She began her career within recruitment and business development then transitioned to working within the plastic industry for ten years. This included co-founding the first recycled manufacturing facility in Far North Queensland. Lesley is an advocate for the growth of women in manufacturing, driving the development of this in the industry to provide a stronger local economy. She also provides regional entrepreneurship mentoring support. Lesley is a respected powerhouse within the Cairns community. She actively educates individuals and organisations on plastic, recycling and waste reduction. She also proactively raises funds for Ruth's Women's Shelter, COUCH, The Junction Clubhouse and Wheels of Wellness. Lesley is also an advocate for female self-empowerment and resilience, and has hosted the 2018, 2019 and 2020 conference 'Radiance - Illuminating the Strength Within'. Lesley has always been deeply fascinated by human behaviour. She believes humanity can do so much better as a whole when we enable others to rise, while also appreciating our unique individual value.

Book preview

8 STEPS TO

TRANSFORM

YOUR LIFE

Copyright © 2020 by Lesley Van Staveren

All rights reserved. Apart from fair dealing for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission.

The information in this book is not intended to replace professional medical or psychological advice. The content is based upon the author’s personal and professional experiences, opinions and qualifications.

Lesley Van Staveren: www.lesleyvanstaveren.com.au

Cover design by Chris Hildenbrand

Typeset in Arial 12/22pt

Paperback printed and bound in Australia by IngramSpark

Prepared for publication by Dr Juliette Lachemeier @ The Erudite Pen

Be Your Own Hero: Lesley Van Staveren – 1st ed.

ISBN 978-0-6489900-1-7

Dedication

To my children, may you flow through life living with full hearts, having faith in yourselves and your abilities to achieve anything you choose to commit your lives to.

May you be kind, gracious and know that you have greatness within.

To the father of my children, I am so grateful for the journey we have been on as it has blessed me with beautiful learnings and experiences, which makes me who I am today.

To my readers, may this spark the confidence you need to take control of aspects of your life that are outside your comfort zone. May you appreciate how spectacular you are and love the uniqueness of your whole being.

Embrace life; this isn’t a rehearsal. Make it count in every way possible, for you and for the greater good.

Lesley Van Staveren

Contents

Preface

The ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ Myth

Have You Got Your Own Back?

Rock the Boat

Perceived Fear of Inadequacy

Understanding Your Body’s Responses

Owning Your Personal Power

Owning Your Mistakes

Self-Acceptance

Preface

This is a revolutionary book if you need a wake-up call to stop waiting for someone else to save you or make your life better. It is a reminder that you control your own destiny.

Throughout the following chapters, you will be expertly guided on how to take ownership of your life choices from business and finances to relationships.

Be Your Own Hero is a powerhouse in your corner. It will reassure you that you can trust your intuition, get educated and find the courage to make big decisions that have life-changing outcomes. This will empower you to feel self-worth, draw boundaries and never again give your choices and control away.

There is a saying, ‘If you are trying to please everyone, you please no one.’ When you under-stand and respect yourself, you’ll realise that deep inside you actually have more to give when you don’t compromise your values.

Nobody is coming to save you. When you realise that, you take your power back. The key is to gain strength in your own capabilities while keeping an open heart.

The fascinating thing is that once you start to have faith in yourself and respect your own opinions, you can begin to build the most important relationship of all: the one with yourself.

I have created this book for you to work through, a bit like a workbook. I encourage you to reflect on each chapter’s questions and take time to write your responses.

This book is also delivered as a life-coaching program so I can guide you through your trans-formation, helping you to own the strength that resides within you.

Every chapter focuses on a different theme, detailed in this infographic:

I do share parts of my own life experience with you; however, ultimately, this is a book about you and owning your personal power.

Wishing you all the very best on your journey to Be Your Own Hero,

The ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ Myth

How many of you are hanging on by a thread just accepting what life throws at you while coasting along on autopilot?

I never for a moment thought I would be approaching forty and starting my whole life over. But you know what, that’s on me. I recognise that I played a part in this outcome, which has become a vital part of my processing and healing. I am now in a place where I accept that I wasn't my best self for many years. By not honouring the best parts of me or letting them come through, this showed up in various areas of my life.

When your world flips on its head, you can feel like all is lost. However, this could be just the beginning of something new and wonderful. My favourite sentence right now is, ‘It is what it is.’

If you are in a difficult situation personally or where another party is involved, the most powerful gift you can give yourself is to compassionately understand, for example, that no one ever intends to end up losing their business, relationship or house. Why would they? But this could also represent a series of events that might have been rectified much earlier if you were to take ownership of and be aware of your life as a whole. You need to listen to your intuition and believe in your ability to handle all areas of your life. 

Having faith in someone else isn’t a bad thing. Unfortunately, problems can arise when faith is confused with not wanting to disrupt a relationship just to keep the peace, letting things trickle along as they are because it seems like the easier option.

It goes back to the old saying, ‘What is easy in life is not always the right path.’

Women, particularly, grow up hearing stories about knights in shining armour and living happily ever after. And who hasn’t heard that if you work hard enough, you will be rewarded. Does that happen in every case? No, absolutely not.

But what if you were taught to perceive things differently? To accept that you need to take control and let the cards fall where they may. What if you had undeniable faith in yourself, your ability to handle all situations and your right to speak up and say no when things don’t feel right? What if you were educated about the true reality of life, which very rarely involves knights in shining armour? Then you empower yourself with an internal peace that grounds you in a sense of security that is yours and yours alone.

I encourage you not to wait for the ‘Big Break’ or ‘The One’ to make your life what you dreamed it would be. You need to take ownership of your own life and be your own hero. Then you know anything else that comes into your world on top of this is a bonus.

When you are not your own hero, one day you may have a rude awakening that everyone else is making decisions about your life without you even realising it. Sounds crazy, right? But the sad fact is there is always a payoff later down the line if you don’t take responsibility for yourself and your life.

I know from experience that when I get into the monotony of daily life, I can fall into bad habits. And so can you. Then one day you wake up and realise you gave too much of yourself away. The key throughout life is to have balance and self-respect, while also being grounded in yourself, your values and your self-worth.

You must understand how valuable you are and be responsible for yourself and your actions. Remember this though: You must keep expanding your heart, not contracting it. Part of the tapestry of life is being able to lean into relationships with each person contributing to the greater good. I am not discouraging relationships in this book; I encourage you to be in a position of internal love and acceptance to then give yourself and the person you are with your best self.

A beautiful and balanced place to be in a relationship is when you have equal respect for each other, and both create the space for one another to thrive and feel loved and appreciated.

Be Your Own Hero

Let’s now explore this in a way that is personal to you. I’d like you to pause, breathe deeply and take a moment to write down your answers to these questions:

As a child, who did you seek approval from?

In relationships, in what areas do you rely on someone else to take charge? In what areas do you seek reassurance? (It could be about your finances, what you’re wearing, how you look, where you are allowed to go, who you can associate with).

At work, home or when socialising, how well do you communicate your ideas or opinions, especially when they differ to others’?

Do you have faith that your friends have your best interests