The Breakup Manual

By Susana M. Ledoux

The Breakup Manual is a step by step guide to going no contact. It was written to simplify the powerful desire to return to extremely emotionally or physically abusive relationships, by looking at the cycle of abuse as an addiction. From the author’s own addiction to abuse, along with the experience of hearing other women’s stories in Domestic Violence Groups, she was able to see the process over and over again and realized that there had to be an easier way to breakup. It is (hopefully) the last time that you see your tie to a toxic relationship as love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982273712

Susana M. Ledoux

Susana M. Ledoux is a Breakup Coach who has made it her life’s purpose to help women break free from the cycle of abuse. She is a mother, healer, and a soldier of Love.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-7370-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7371-2 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/22/2021

Contents

Intro: The Breakup Manual

The Basics On Abuse And Reasons To Breakup

The Benefits of Leaving

The Benefits Of Staying In An Abusive Relationship

How To Break Up

Go Time

Respect Your Beauty

The Breakup Manual

Why Do You Miss Him?

What Is A Healthy Relationship?

Hoovering

Relapse

My Story

The End of Suffering

Operation Love

Love is not meant to be a constant battle. Love is not meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not scary, it doesn’t make you feel nervous that you are going to be abandoned. I don’t know how some of us accept abusive treatment and others don’t, I mean do I have an idea that it usually stems from childhood, but there are those rare occasions when someone with a terrible upbringing filled with abuse has zero tolerance for anything other than pure love.

I don’t know how I know what love is after everything that I have experienced in relationships, but I do know that I know what love isn’t. And maybe that is why I feel confident about being a professional at breaking up. It might be that I have ended several toxic relationships, but one relationship in particular I am fairly certain gave me my Masters in breaking up.

My goal in writing this manual is to make it easy for you to spot and end toxic relationships without all the dramatic back and forth confusion of whether or not he’s your soulmate… If you should give him one more try even though you have already given him a million chances and every time he has gone back into the exact same behaviors… or you feel out of control and hopeless and you don’t want to do this anymore but you feel compelled to because you love him/her.

I hate when books make me do work, but before you go any further I want you to take out a pen and paper and make a pros and cons list for continuing the relationship. Go into the reasons why you love being with them and in the cons put all the reasons why you should not be with them. Try not to over analyze anything and just write what pops in your head. Put the pros and cons list to the side, and now write what your ideal relationship would look like. After you are finished take a look at the lists all together. If the things that are most important to you in an ideal relationship are similar to the pros in your list there may be hope, but if there is a massive amount of work that needs to be done and you are the only one doing the work, you are wasting your time.

I have always believed that people can change. I think it may be part of being a child of an alcoholic, or living with an abusive stepfather, but I would always fantasize that it was going to get better. To accept that it wasn’t would most likely have made me give up on life. I don’t think that is a bad personality trait. I think that it makes life bearable when other people constantly disappoint you, to give more chances.

It feels so good to hear someone apologize and promise that they won’t do it ever again. The honeymoon phase in my abusive relationships is like the high of my first cigarette. Like finally I can have some relief. But just like a cigarette, an abusive relationship becomes a never ending cycle of chasing the good feeling that lasts for shorter and shorter amounts of time, and the bad always outweighs the good. People notice that you aren’t happy, or they see your boyfriend treat you like garbage, or they hear about him cheating on you or disrespecting you and they start to tell you that they don’t think it