Spiritual Resiliency

By Carmelita Tunstall

This is a spiritual journey and a setting of poetry to lifes situations and experiences.

Life is not always black and white but is lived with many twists and turns, which this book shows us throughout the pages.

The spirit of a man or woman must be reborn somehow to make sense of the chaos and disillusion that we face in our lives. It brings us to new heights and strengths we didnt know we had.

The spiritual revelations that each person comes to in their life may come from different pathways, but it is a truth that is searched out and built upon to make our life better and true to ourselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 28, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543421668

Book preview

DREAMS

The dreams I had were seen thru rose colored glasses.

Always beyond my reach, but persistent.

From the time I was 8 years old I wanted to be something special in God’s eye. I told my class I wanted to be a saint, when others talked about dreams of being pilots, firemen, police, and movie stars, housewives and mothers. The nuns took me outside of class and degraded me and spoiled my dream. They told me I would go to hell for blasphemy because I asked for this. They said, how dare you think you could ever be a saint. Saints must suffer first and sacrifice. I was not able to do neither. Not until many years later and after I was Reborn again to my Christian faith was I called a Saint. Everyone who was reborn into Christ was called a saint. It says in the scripture, 2Corin. 5:17 Therefore, if any man be in Christ he is a new creature; old thing are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

After years of confusion and feelings of unworthiness and thinking that God had handpicked who could and could not be a saint I thought he abandoned me because of my blasphemy. Not until many years later was I able to put those feelings to rest. Thank you Lord for your patience, and mercy and most of all your love. No one could ever love me more. So I have no reason or excuse to ever leave you, nor forsake you.

When I look back to that day in the school hallway with the nuns I realize that a prophecy was set into motion. I knew I wanted to be a bride of Christ’s. I saw a movie not too long after that incident of a young postulate who was being groomed to become a bride of Christ in the convent where she lived. She was faithful to her calling until she met a certain Captain in the Spanish Army and fell in love with him. Her loyalties were mixed and she did not know what to do. He was called to war and she stayed at the convent and tried to forget him. She received word that he has been killed in the war and was left with a broken heart and felt betrayed by God because he did not honor her sacrifice of staying in the convent. She left the convent and went on a journey of her own that would take her into the midst of town where she was introduced to a sinful life. Only after finding herself at a crossroad in her life did she have to make a decision that would either set her on the path to hell or back to the convent where she would have to face the nuns and take punishment for her abandonment and repent for her sinful life. When she returned to the convent the postulates were walking to the chapel for prayers and she saw herself in Spirit form walking with the others. She immediately knew that God did not abandon her and he forgave her for leaving. She waited until the vespers were finished and then she went into the chapel and laid face down before the crucifix, at the front alter to pray. While she did this, her Spirit came into the church and entered her body. It was like she had never left.

Soon after the Captain that she loved returned from the war unharmed but when he saw her he knew in an instant that she was no longer the same woman he left and that she belonged to God.

This story has never left me.

VIOLENCE

Violence is not a form of strength, but a form of impatient weakness

Violence takes away our ability to love ourselves and our fellow man.

Violence diminishes our creativeness into peaceful pathways of strategizing.

Violence has no repentance

Violence wreaks havoc and unrest for the soul.

Violence is not performed out of love, but rather feeds our insecurities of being less than.

Violence does not bring solutions for there is only defeat to the mind that relinquishes to it.

Violence kills all purpose and reason.

Violence knocks out any hope for peace, and brings death to another wise peaceful ending.

Violence is ungodly.

Violence is a Spirit of damnation.

GOD’S WHISPER

Lord I am listening for your voice to come to my ear.

I am straining my head high but I do not hear.

Sometimes I think I hear you speak in a loud clear voice.

As I turn to look, you are nowhere in sight.

Other times I can get a message in my dreams at night.

When I awake my thoughts are confusing and blind to what I heard and saw.

So, I listen for your voice to help me unfold and get insight to those dreams.

The Holy Ghost is clear when I open the portals of my ears to listen for you.

Now I am able to hear.

Now I am getting revelation to what I hear.

Now I am on the line of communion with God.

I have received thoughts and insights and inspirational verse and poetry from the dreams you have sent me.

I am able to put in writing what I see in my dreams without losing the thought or the visions I get.

I know I am supposed to pass this on to others to let them know you are real, and you are here.

THINGS TAKEN FOR GRANTED UNTIL…

Breathing… Until I had my first Asthma attack

Walking… Until my knees buckled under me and I had to crawl because I couldn’t stand to my feet

Putting on my pants…Until I had an operation on my knees and couldn’t bend my knees to put my legs in.

Going up and down curbs…Until I bought a cane for support or had someone help me. If I step down without aid there was always the fear of falling or I had to walk to a corner where there was a handicap cornered sidewalk.

Using stairs…Until I ended up crawling on my knees to reach the top. I had to hang on to railings or use a cane for support and in between every two stairs I had to stop to rest because the pain was excruciating. This was before my knee replacements.

Holding objects…Until my hands and wrists began to weaken with arthritis more and more. Carpal tunnel also became a handicap in lifting and holding objects.

Kneeling…Until the pain became so great it was impossible. I could not get down on the floor because then it took almost 20 minutes to get up with much pain and difficulty.

Digesting foods…Until age and health problems had a negative effect on my digestive system.

Vision problems…Until I had cataract surgery

Balance…Until I began getting dizzy and falling frequently due to Vertigo and bad knees. I was forced to using a cane or walker.

Bladder control…Until I started having incontinence.

Taking long walks…Until I could no longer walk far because of the pain from arthritis in my hips and back and