I Am With You Always: Living with Loneliness

By Siobhan O'Keeffe

Modern life can be lonely. Moreover, modern life can make it feel as if you are the only one who is lonely. Across all of society people are becoming more isolated from one another, spending much of their social life on the internet. The diversity of our experience of loneliness is erased by the glamour and noise of Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. In I Am With You Always Siobhán O'Keeffe reminds us that we are never alone. Our relationship with God is a tether that holds to us through periods of loneliness in our lives and which links us to millions of other people –whether new mother, bullied child, conflicted soldier or overworked surgeon – whose experience and struggle with loneliness is similar. I Am With You Always includes a guide to loneliness in Scripture and a series of reflections on how loneliness is experienced across contemporary society.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Messenger Publications
• Release date: Apr 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781788124096

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

We stand and gaze at the beauty of a rainbow, bowing down to worship God. A rainbow is one of nature’s great beauties. Its colours and hues come together to form a magnificent whole, a symbol of our lives.

The human person is made for spiritual, emotional and social connection with others. When this does not happen many suffer from feelings of isolation and separation that leave them deeply lonely. This sense of isolation can have a profoundly negative effect on their spiritual, emotional and physical health which, if not addressed, can lead to depression and other illnesses. Each life is made up of periods of joy and sorrow, happiness and sadness, belonging and loneliness.

Fully human and fully divine, Jesus was no stranger to loneliness both during his active ministry, when his message was not understood and people did not recognise who he was, ‘Have I been with you all this time, Philip, said Jesus to him, and you still do not know me?’ (Jn 14:9), and as he endured the passion (Mt 27:47). His mother Mary must have experienced a profound feeling of loneliness as she came to terms with her miraculous pregnancy, ‘She was deeply disturbed by these words and asked herself what this greeting could mean’ (Lk 1:30) and again at the foot of the cross as she witnessed her beloved Son die. ‘Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother’ (Jn 19:25).

You may have picked up this little book because you or your friend are struggling with a very human loneliness and you need some comfort and support at this time. I wish to reassure you that you are not alone on your journey as loneliness is experienced by most people at some time in their lives. We are created for union with God, others and ourselves, however, on occasion we can feel fragmented and alone, struggling to maintain our own inner peace because we are lonely.

People of all ages suffer from loneliness. A mother grieves when she leaves her child in the classroom on the child’s first day in school and teachers are left consoling the little one as she walks away. Two or three hours is an eternity in this little persons’ life until they are re-united with mother at ‘going home time’. Squeals of delight ring out when she appears at the classroom door. As life moves forward, the child who is bullied in school, the employee who struggles in the workplace because they feel that they do not fit in and the CEO who is challenged with making difficult decisions all experience loneliness in different ways.

Aloneness and loneliness are very different – we may be all alone and very much at peace. Loneliness is a feeling of disconnection or incompleteness caused by a lack of human connection for various reasons; bereavement, unemployment, illness, disability, being housebound, facing a terminal illness or death, living as a refugee, asylum seeker or trafficked person. Whatever the source of our pain, it is important that we feel able to name for ourselves and also to another the anguish of soul that we are experiencing. Naming our pain can help to loosen its tight grip on our hearts and begin to set us free from its negative control. Children will need guidance and support to tell someone how they are feeling as all too often they suffer in silence as they have not learned strategies for dealing with this human emotion. Loneliness that is not acknowledged or worked through is at risk of deepening and may lead to more serious emotional or spiritual problems.

Experiencing a period of loneliness in our lives is painful but it does not have to be totally negative. We may learn more about ourselves and the importance of positive relationships in our lives. We are offered an opportunity to give thanks for all who have blessed us and to seek reconciliation if this is necessary. We realise that ‘no man is an island’ and that we all need each other for good quality of life. We examine our expectations of ourselves or others and realise that no one can completely fill that deep inner space in our hearts