The First Five Years: . . . and Beyond

By Heather Davidson

The First Five Years is a memoir to record the ordinary life of an ordinary woman who was changed by an extraordinary encounter with God at the age of forty-four.

It recounts memories of childhood years through to teenage years, eventually being married just three days before turning twenty, then on to a life raising a family.

It is a life of joy and hope turning into depression, despair, and grief then back again into peace.

It is the story of Gods redemptive grace, bringing hope out of depression, comfort out of grief, trusting out of doubting, and faith where there was none.

Heather felt that God instructed her years ago to write a book with this title. She has now written it first and foremost for her children and grandchildren but has also felt the need to share it in the hope that someone may be encouraged to know that, no matter where life has taken them, no matter how ordinary we think this life is, God can turn it around for our good.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris NZ
• Release date: Nov 21, 2016
• ISBN: 9781499098990

Heather Davidson

Heather was born in Auckland, New Zealand. She was raised by loving parents and was the eldest of five. She was a shy girl with just a few friends, often spending time alone. In her teenage years at Otahuhu College, she secretly fell for one of the senior boys, who was quite unaware of her! She left Otahuhu College at age sixteen and attended Auckland Business College, where she studied shorthand typing and bookkeeping, which has been her career for over fifty years. At age seventeen, she had a chance encounter with the boy of her dreams at a beach dance at Whitianga, and two years later, in 1965, they were married. There were many years of working toward making a home for their two boys and fun times with friends and family. Heather has enjoyed spending time with her four grandchildren in New Zealand and yearly trips across the Tasman to bond with her two Australian grandchildren. She is now retired from her last workplace of twenty-five years. She was an ordinary girl living an ordinary life until, one day, it all changed.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Heather Davidson.

ISBN:      Softcover          978-1-4990-9900-3

                eBook               978-1-4990-9899-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scriptures are taken from Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Other scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Rev. date: 11/14/2016

Xlibris

0-800-443-678

www.Xlibris.co.nz

750619

Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHILDHOOD

TEENAGE YEARS

MARRIED

UNSETTLED

NEW BEGINNINGS

THE JOURNEY

SETTLED YEARS

TURBULENCE

RECOVERY

STORMS

TRAGEDY

MOVING ON

CALM WATERS

SHIFTING SAND

EPILOGUE

REGRETS

For my sons,

their families

and my family

Thanks to

Pastor Wayne for his continuing encouragement to write

and for his advice on scriptural matters.

My sister Gail for proof reading and for all the prayer and encouragement through the difficult times of writer blocks.

The

First Five

Years

……and beyond

Even when I am old and gray

do not forsake me O God

till I declare your power to the next generation,

Your might to all who are to come

Psalm 71:18

Though You have made me see troubles,

many and bitter,

You will restore my life again.

Psalm 71:20

Introduction

Train a child in the way he should go,

And when he is old he will not turn from it

Proverbs 22:6

Some would say that the beginning of life is when a baby is born. This is true – beginning life as we know it in this world. Others would say that life begins in the womb at conception which we know nothing about – only God who made us. And then there is the further testament that life begins again when we are born of the Spirit of God – a decision which is usually made later in life, maybe as a child, maybe as an adult.

It is commonly known that the first five years of a child’s life are the formative years. When we are born into this life our parents are to become our care givers, teachers, and providers. Many who are reading this may not have had the completeness of this from parents and I in no way wish to minimize that. I only attempt here to write my experiences as a child, privileged to be brought up by a loving family, and then being born again, into the loving family of God.

As little babies we rely completely on our caregivers knowing exactly what we need – being fed, clothed, and loved.

When we are a little older we have to learn to walk and talk. We go through the suffering of teething as well as many other ills. We learn to be obedient by discipline and confident by encouragement. A lot of this learning is forgotten unless we have had a traumatic experience and these first five years are the foundation of the years to come.

The initial problems are called teething. A baby chews on a teething ring – chews, chews, chews – to alleviate the pain of the tooth coming through. He knows to keep chewing because, although it doesn’t take away the problem, the chewing soothes and satisfies him. So as adults, do we ignore the aids that are given to us to help us or do we take hold of them and chew, chew, chew until we come through the problem? What are our aids?

Prayer – communication with God, casting all our cares on Him, because He cares for us.

The Word – bringing us instruction, comfort, refuge, encouragement, discipline, defence, warfare

Fellowship – the support of loving family and friends and with the body of Christ, the Church, where we receive instruction and faith building.

The first step of walking is hard to take – a step into the unknown – into something we’ve never done before. We are encouraged to keep coming as our caregiver holds out hands to catch us if we fall. He stands beside us until we have the courage to take more and more steps.

Our culture likes to teach children to say please and thank you right from the start. It seems easy to learn please as we have so many needs and wants. Then we have to learn that please is not a magic word because we are not given everything we want but only what we need. We learn to say thank you for everything we are given. So often in the beginning of our walk with Jesus we forget to thank Him – we just take it for granted, or maybe we simply haven’t learned this yet.

There are lots more words to come and a child will copy everything he hears, willing to learn. Sometimes he may not get it quite right but the parents lovingly point their child into the correct way of saying a new word. It may take a while to get it just right and the parent has to exercise patience and perseverance in correcting. A child may be able to say the word correctly right from the start, just by copying the sound. He may hear the sound but it doesn’t come out right until he is shown the correct way and sometimes a wrong understanding is imprinted on his mind and takes a while to come to the surface to be corrected.

This is how our Heavenly Father deals with us – with love, patience and perseverance. We might copy what someone else is doing. Sometimes we will have the right understanding from the beginning; sometimes we get it wrong until we are shown the correct way and then again not understanding may have been marred by deceit and we get it completely wrong.

But the Lord will not allow us to be snatched away so easily and as we open our minds and hearts to God and ask for wisdom, He will reveal the truth to us. He will encourage us or discipline us – whatever is right for us.

A friend once told me that when her old car sprung an oil leak she didn’t take it in for repair as she was afraid of the cost so she just kept filling it up with oil. She finally took it in and 10mins and $15 later it was all fixed! She had spent far more than the $15 already on oil top ups!!

There is no cost when we take the problem to Jesus straight away. He has paid the cost already. Put your trust in Him. Don’t try to fix it yourself and don’t put up with the problem. Take it to the greatest Physician.

I have attempted to write my life memories for the benefit of my children that they may understand the foundation of my feelings and emotions and also to learn the other side of me – the God side.

It has been a journey of joy and sorrow, understanding and misunderstanding, trusting and doubting, great faith and little faith. I give glory to God for my life and trust that as people remember me on my passing they will be able to say I knew Heather and she led me to Jesus.

Childhood

When I was a child,

I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child;

But when I became a man, I put away childish things.

1 Corinthians 13:11

Heather, wake up! I wake dazed to see Jan beside my bed. Mummy and Daddy are gone!

My first memory of life is when I was about 3-4 years old. My sister Jan a 2-3 yr old and Sister Gail just a baby in the cot. Jan and I woke in the middle of the night to discover that we kids were on our own and we did not know what had become of our Mum and Dad. They were not in their bed and nowhere to be found. I think Gail must have woken us with crying and I have a vivid recollection of the whole flat which we lived in – looking out of our parents’ window to discover the car, usually parked out on the road, was gone and then sitting on the top of the stairs (they seemed so huge then) worrying about what to do to stop Gail from crying. It seemed an age before Mum and Dad arrived back – I have no idea of how long it was.

We have since had an explanation of why they were gone, but the important thing at the time was that they rushed home to us with open arms to comfort us and reassure us that they would never leave us. I knew as a little child that I was loved – even when things seemed to be so wrong. I have carried this belief with me all my life, knowing the love and protection of a Mum and Dad who did their very best for their family, even though they may have made some mistakes.

I was born on 23rd November 1945 at Cornwall Hospital, Greenlane. Mum & Dad were living at the time in an upstairs flat in Manukau Rd above shops not far from the first premises of Laloli Bros Ltd, makers of nursery furniture which Dad joined in as a partner with his two brothers, Ray & Ivan. I have only vague recollections of living here – visiting the couple in the stationery shop and spending time with the Lockstones who lived down the road. Elaine was our babysitter.

I think these memories are only kept alive by the stories that Mum & Dad told us as we were growing up. Though I do remember going to stay with Elaine and her husband for a time – was this when brother Bruce was born? I would have been 10 years old and my memory here is the funniest – the things we remember!?

I really wanted to have new slip on shoes – instead of buckled and lace up school shoes and I can remember putting on Elaine’s shoes, left at the back door, and trotting around, feeling all grown up! She was much smaller than any of us, so they fitted just right! I can’t even remember when I did get my first slip-ons!

Just before I turned 5 we shifted to a big house in 31 Moa St, Otahuhu. I remember the rooms seeming to be so huge! Dad proceeded to turn this old villa into a comfortable home for us, building wardrobes etc…I have a recollection of him always busy around the home, be it inside renovating or outside in the garden. And Mum was never far behind him, with a paintbrush in hand (I think she was better up the high ladders outside than Dad was!) or mowing lawns when Dad was extra busy at work.

The biggest excitement was when in later years, the back was built on to – a new laundry (without the copper) and a new toilet (separate) and a new bathroom (with a shower, no less!) I was scared of the shower at first because I got a bit burned the first time, trying to get the temperature mix right – no blended mixers back then! These renovations also included a new kitchen which was part of the old one and soon became our family room. We had the separate lounge for visitors (and eventually the TV) but the family room was where we spent most of our time. The cosy fire, toasting crumpets over the coals in winter, the huge dining table and the new fridge! The safe was done away with at last – we had all the mod cons!

And we always had a new car – Dad’s business enabled him to have a new car every three years! We were rich! I remember some old friends commenting in later years how they thought we were rich because of the new cars but we, as kids do, took it all for granted and just enjoyed! We were so well looked after.

It wasn’t all a bed of roses, though. We had to do our chores! And as kids do, we fought and complained about it. Mum had to make up a roster so there were no arguments! And we always had the Saturday morning clean up. Mum herself was not the tidiest of people but she obviously liked to have things clean and tidy around her. I guess it is true of the saying that kids are taught by what they see, rather than what they hear and we certainly saw Mum and Dad helping each other around the house so that as we grew up we actually liked to mow the lawns and weed the garden for Dad or tidy the kitchen for Mum as it gave them much pleasure and we were rewarded by their praise and continual love.

There was a big chook run in one corner of the quarter acre section. I didn’t like feeding them as they used to come pecking around my ankles, but we got plenty of eggs and sometimes had little chickens to look after. There were apple trees and citrus, a tree tomato (tamarillo) and a loquat tree. The microcarpa hedge on the back boundary was a perfect place for making huts and