Love Without Borders: Loving, Dating, Marrying Someone from a Different Race, Culture and Country: Problems, Challenges and Solutions.

By Godfred Mensah and Kofi Quaye

Let us begin with the notion that there is nothing like a blueprint for a successful dating relationship or marriage. No one can teach anyone how to enter into and maintain a perfect marriage or relationship or avoid the common mistakes people make that wreck marriages and relationships. Not even a counselor, psychologist, or minister or anyone else can provide a plan that can guarantee a successful romance, marriage, love affair, or a dating relationship. There are just too many variables involved that make such a prediction impractical, if not impossible.

Relationships, marriages, and love affairs work as a result of the time, effort, and energy put into it by those involved. For some, everything works out just fine and everybody is happy, but sometimes, the opposite happens and the question becomes: why do some succeed, while others fail? It gets even more complicated when one of the two people involved is from another race, country, or culture.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 13, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503567368

Godfred Mensah

Based in Accra, Ghana, Godfred ‘Goddy’ Mensah is a teacher-educator and entrepreneur. His research was the source of important data and information from an African perspective. He is a coordinator for New Generation, a US-based NGO that focuses on programs and activities geared towards bridging the digital divide in underprivileged and disadvantaged communities. Kofi Quaye is an internationally recognized author, journalist-editor, publisher, and producer. He has written extensively on immigration related issues for various publications. His published books include Jojo in New York (MacMillan Publishing) and Superstar. He produced A Day of Absence, a documentary on the immigrant experience, which won the Telly Award in 2007. Publications he has edited include CNY Vision newspaper and Heritage Newsmagazine. Lawrence Davis, an immigrant himself, is a community activist who has an unending desire to uplift people the world over. He has lent a hand to countless movements for change in America since the early eighties. This book is his first foray into writing to help others see some of the struggles ahead and a possible new path for others.

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Copyright © 2015 by Kofi Quaye and Godfred ‘Goddy’ Mensah.

ISBN:      eBook         978-1-5035-6736-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Rev. date: 05/12/2015

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 Race In Love, Romance, Relationships And Marriages

Chapter 2 First World Men, Third World Women

Chapter 3 Third World Men: First World Women

Chapter 4 Religion: How It Affects Relationships And Marriages Involving People From Different Races, Cultures And Countries.

Chapter 5 Language As An Issue In Marriages And Relationships Between People From Different Races, Cultures And Countries.

Chapter 6 What To Do About Food

Chapter 7 Children: Their Role In Marriages And Relationships In Which The People Involved Are From Different Races, Cultures And Countries.

Chapter 8 Dealing With Cultural Differences, Customs And Traditions

Chapter 9 When Nothing Seems To Work

Chapter 10 Third World Men And Third World Women

Chapter 11 Loving, Dating And Marrying Someone From Another Race, Country And Culture: Why It Needs A Different Approach.

Chapter 12 What Kind Of Sacrifices Have To Be Made In Relationships And Marriages Between People From Different Races, Cultures And Countries?

Chapter 13 Where, How And When It All Happens

Chapter 14 Helpful Hints On What To Do Or Not To Do In Dealing With The Problems And Challenges In Marriages And Relationships Involving Someone From A Different Race, Culture Or Country

Chapter 15 What Are The Advantages In Relationships And Marriages Involving Someone From A Different Race, Nationality Or Culture?

Chapter 16 Dealing With Other Differences

Dedication

To Regina, Vanessa, Lecy, Ogoe, Nana, Princess Angelique and all the men and women who have found the courage to explore and experience the challenge of being involved with someone from a different race, culture or country in a relationship or marriage.

Introduction

Overview of challenges and problems in marrying, dating or having a relationship with someone from a different race, culture and country.

Let us begin with the notion that there is nothing like a blueprint for a successful dating relationship or marriage. No one can teach anyone how to enter into and maintain a perfect marriage or relationship or avoid the common mistakes people make that wreck marriages and relationships. Not even a counselor, psychologist or minister or anyone else can provide a plan that can guarantee a successful romance, marriage, love affair or a dating relationship. There are just too many variables involved that make such a prediction impractical, if not impossible.

Relationships, marriages and love affairs work as a result of the time, effort and energy put into it by those involved. For some, everything works out just fine and everybody is happy, but sometimes, the opposite happens and the question becomes: why do some succeed, while others fail? It gets even more complicated when one of the two people involved is from another race, country or culture.

The answer is not farfetched. It’s all about knowing what to do and what not to do. Like everything else, it’s best to approach it knowing what will work or has the potential to create problems. Though it won’t guarantee anything in terms of success or failure, knowing what to do and what mistakes to avoid will minimize the potential for disaster. And that is what this book is about: to discuss, analyze and find solutions to the challenges and problems that most people face in such relationships and marriages.

Having established the premise that no one can be taught or counseled to become competent at making a marriage or relationship work, we will now proceed to discuss the factors that make it even more difficult and complicated when people from different races, cultures and countries are involved.

Firstly, we have to bear in mind that the kind of marriage and relationship we are talking about is different in the sense that it involves two people who look and do things differently in terms of how they look, the food they eat, the religion they practice, the clothing and costumes they wear and quite often, the color of their skin. That is the essence of what we are talking about; two people who have nothing in common, but find themselves drawn together by the powerful force of love and decide to date, have a relationship or get married.

One may be American or English or Canadian and the other may be French or Australian or African or a Chinese. It doesn’t really matter what race, country or culture is involved in order to make it different. So long as both don’t belong to the same nationality or race, it falls into the category where it can be characterized as bi-racial, etc.

In some countries in Africa and the Middle East, it breaks down to the tribal level, in which differentiations based on tribal affiliation come into