Just Because the Shoe Fits...: Doesn’T Mean You Have to Wear It

By Ebony L. Whitted

This book was written to encourage, inspire, and motivate those who have faced the

teardowns and breakdowns of life. Ebony is using this book as a ministry to let

women from all walks of life know that when others have said you can't, you won't,

or it will not work, God say's you can! The ultimate goal is to uplift you as women

who has worn out those old shoes you've owned for years called insecurities,

troubled relationships, can't find my purpose, loneliness, heartache, pain, low self-esteem and fear. These are burdens and issues you have struggled with for years, but Im

here to tell you that "just because the shoe fits, doesnt mean you have to wear it."


Ebony L. Whitted wears the shoes of a wife, mother, writer and poet who uses her God

given gifts and talents to encourage women and men from diverse backgrounds. Ebony

was born in Washington, D.C and raised in Richmond, Virginia where she resides with

her husband and two sons.

Any individual who reads this book will be able to relate to several of the stories told.

So which shoes are you wearing?

By Ebony Lane Whitted

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483640716

Ebony L. Whitted

This book was written to encourage, inspire, and motivate those who have faced the teardowns and breakdowns of life. Ebony is using this book as a ministry to let women from all walks of life know that when others have said you can’t, you won’t, or it will not work, God say’s you can! The ultimate goal is to uplift you as women who has worn out those old shoes you’ve owned for years called insecurities, troubled relationships, can’t find my purpose, loneliness, heartache, pain, low self- esteem and fear. These are burdens and issues you have struggled with for years, but I’m here to tell you that “just because the shoe fits, doesn’t mean you have to wear it.” Ebony L. Whitted wears the shoes of a wife, mother, writer and poet who uses her God given gifts and talents to encourage women and men from diverse backgrounds. Ebony was born in Washington, D.C and raised in Richmond, Virginia where she resides with her husband and two sons. Any individual who reads this book will be able to relate to several of the stories told. So which shoes are you wearing? By Ebony Lane Whitted

Book preview

I Am

I am beautiful

Beautiful as I can be

When I look in the mirror, you don’t see what I see

A beautiful woman is all I see

I am a woman that puts a little extra in my walk when I strut

I’m a woman that wears my hair short one day, straight, curly, or down to my butt if I want

I am a woman that walks around with my head up high

I’m that woman that wears what I want, including those bad stilettos

That’s at least 3 inches high, and could care less, if you like them or NOT!!!

I am a woman that walks around as if I have a visible tattoo on my chest

That spells out the words SIMPLY BLESSED

I am that woman that loves the Lord

Never am I afraid to share the Good News my father stand for

When my haters talk about me, I don’t trip

They just confirm who my creator is and that I’m still a bad chick

But I’m strong enough to compliment another Sista

I always find ways to encourage another Sista

Because I’m strong and I know my worth

I don’t have a problem speaking up when I’m hurt

I’m that woman that takes care of her family

I’m not perfect, but I try hard not to hold grudges

For the Bible states that I have to love you regardless

I am a woman that stays away from confusion and confrontation

I am that woman who won’t allow myself to gain a bad reputation

I am Strong, Clever, Smart, and a woman of ambition

Who carries in my back pockets my dreams, goals, and aspirations

Only God knows what I’m capable of reaching, despite what it looks like or what people say about me

That goes for family, so-called friends, associates and all my enemies

I hate to sound cruel, but you guys don’t know my story or what I’ve been through

Huh, all you see is a smile on my face

But what about the face under the mask

All you see is the clothes that I rock and materialistic things that I have

Although I can’t deny, these things were invented to block the human eye

But when I look in the mirror, I don’t see those things

I see Beauty, Perseverance, Trials, Tribulations, and a woman, who’s been led by God’s Grace and His Mercy

I see a woman still standing

Despite other people’s perception, passed judgments’ or misunderstandings

I see what God has created me to be

And that my dear is a woman who’s "Simply Beautiful and Classy!

The Flip-Flop

Miss Independent Woman

The first 14 years of my life two amazing women, my mother and Auntie, raised me. They were both strong independent women who were very dominant, not to mention smart and clever. These ladies were tenacious and knew how to make things happen. I must give my Auntie props because you never saw her sweat over bills, money, her credit scores and her household never lacked. They both paid their bills on time, food was in the house, and gas was in the cars even if they had to rob Peter to pay Paul. You will never know it because they both never showed any sense of emotions even in the midst of tough times. It was only natural for me to grow into a replica of these same women. I was raised to be independent, make my own money, pay my own bills, never put myself in a position to get put out which meant that I must, at all times, make sure my place of residence had my name on it. Lastly, I was never to depend solely on a man unless his name was Jesus! Naturally, I had the attitude, there’s nothing a man can do for me that I can’t do for myself along with the I bought this, I paid for that approach. Sadly, this is the same mind-set of so many African-American women today. We are raised to have our own and not depend on a man because they come and go, even husbands. It wasn’t until I was married and established my own family that I began to have a different outlook on what being an Independent Woman actually meant.

Ladies, even the men are recognizing our strengths. We are no longer those quiet housewives without a voice in the 50’s and 60’s. We are now strong women of the New Millennium. The Independent Woman is a woman who has not forgotten about the power that God has instilled in her. She knows that the days of shucking the corn, picking the greens, plucking the chickens, and all that off the wall stuff that women use to do back in the day before her husband came home from work are over! Don’t get me wrong, back in those days, the women held the house down, which is a hard job in itself. Without her, the house that they called home would have fallen completely apart. Today marks a new day and women are not playing! We are now educated, clever, intelligent, successful, driven women. We now have careers of our own. We make our own money, own businesses, have college degrees, take care of our kids, as well as hold the household down. Let’s talk about how WE are now doctors, lawyers, fire women, postal, and construction workers. Everything a man does, we can do as well, if not better! I commend any woman raising her children in a single parent environment working two jobs and going to school to earn her degree while still maintaining her household. It’s a hard job and you should be recognized for your efforts. I can promise you, your hard work will pay off!

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here. Sure women are more dominant today, however, we have gotten so big headed and full of ourselves that we feel that we don’t need a man anymore! Oh, yes… that’s what you’re saying. I can do bad all by myself. I make my own money. I pay my own bills. This is my Benz that I pay the car note on. That’s my 70-inch flat screen that you are watching. These are my red bottom shoes and Gucci bag that I purchased myself. If he doesn’t make the money I bring home or more then, I have no need for him. We are so full of ourselves. Our mindsets have changed so much from back in the day that we don’t even need a man for sex. Now ladies, you have taken this independent woman thing a little too far! Girl, I can just go to an adult store and buy me a toy that will satisfy me to the fullest and put me right to sleep," is what you are