Foundations of Faith: Building on Scriptural Foresight and a Father's Follies

By Troy D. Ehlke

Miracles can take up to 40 weeks to occur. It is amazing to behold that with Gods blessing and breath, new life is formed in merely 280 days. Regardless of what we have seen before, there is nothing so powerful as witnessing the birth of a child. A world bellowing with destruction and chaos cannot detract from the wonder of a newborns cry nor can the radiance of earthly gems outshine the brilliance emanating from youthful eyes. Yet, in a matter of moments, the joy of fatherhood is trespassed. Fear creeps into our stream of conscious thought. What can I possibly offer this incarnation of love? If we are fortunate, we know our shortcomings and have taken inventory of our failures, because the strength of fatherhood lies not within the realm of self-proclaimed virtues or gifted abilities, but in our willingness to be present with our own vulnerabilities. We hear this truth from our heavenly Father who tells us to Consider your own call: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But I chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; I chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; I chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in my presence. The source of your life is Christ Jesus, who became wisdom for the world (adapted reading of 1 Corinthians 1:26-30). This book chronicles the journey of one mans quest to explore his past alongside the wisdom of scripture, so that his son, Julian, might pursue pathways of wholeness which his father failed to follow. Through personal trials and encounters with the world, this father forges an understanding that he wishes to pass on to his son, hoping it blesses his life. With prayer, wisdom, and a relationship rooted in love, a father embarks on an inner exploration, in an effort that the errors of today need not be repeated tomorrow. Righteous living is not an accidental phenomenon but rather an intentional choice shaped by loving forces within ones life. In the end, no one knows the ways of man or his son, save one; and he generously affords his creation the space to choose as their will desires. If you are a father raising a child or are simply searching for a voice of practical wisdom in a world filled with illusions, read these letters. Insight has a way of not only transforming the heart, but also redirecting the soul towards that which is life-giving and not life-consuming. But whatever you do from this moment on, know that there are few truths in the world; and when you find them, embrace them, because they have the power to steer you in the right direction. You are holding on to a book that contains such wisdom. Continue your quest within.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 24, 2009
• ISBN: 9781469102993

Troy D. Ehlke

The Reverend Troy Ehlke is an ordained pastor serving with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He has received master’s degrees in the fields of theology and divinity from Harvard Divinity School, The Graduate Theological Union (Berkeley, California), and from Princeton Theological Seminary. He is currently undertaking doctoral studies at Drew University, in the area of Systems Theory and Congregational Life. He has been in residence at Christ Lutheran Church in Charlotte, NC, since 2005 and serves as their Pastor of Care and Counseling. When not actively engaged in matters of ministry, Pastor Ehlke has employed his passion for writing and has penned two critically-acclaimed works, stemming from his knowledge of biblical scholarship: Muddy Mentors and Scaly Scholars-Animal Teachers in our Midst and Crossroads of Agony-Suffering and Violence in the Christian Tradition. In 2009, Pastor Ehlke was honored by an invitation from the US House of Representatives to be its guest chaplain, where he officiated with a prayer and invocation at the opening of a spring session. Of all of God’s blessings in his life, the greatest is his beloved wife, Cynthia; their 18-month-old son, Julian; and one child yet to be welcomed into the world. They are presently waiting, with great excitement, for the birth of their second child.

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Copyright © 2009 by Troy D. Ehlke.

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Contents

ON DEATH AND REBIRTH

THE VALUE OF A NAME

ON WISDOM

ON RELATIONSHIPS

ON LOVE

IMPORTANCE OF ASH WEDNESDAY

THE MEANING OF LOVE

ON FAMILY

ON DEATH

ON BAPTISM

ON EXPECTATIONS

WORDS FROM A REBEL

KNOW THYSELF

ON VULNERABILITY

ON HUMILITY

ON FAITH

ON PERCEPTION

HOW TO APOLOGIZE

ON HEALING

THE FOG OF ADOLESCENCE

BIBLIOGRAPHY

YOUR FATHER’S SPIRITUAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY

ON FIRST COMMUNION

OPTIMISM

ON FORGIVENESS

JUDGMENT

UPON CONFIRMATION

BIRTHING SPIRITUAL FIRE

LETTERS FROM A LOVING GOD

THE NATURE OF PROMISES

THE AFTERLIFE

THE NATURE OF HELL

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

CONCERNING IDENTITY

CONCERNING MAGIC

THE VALUE OF MONEY

DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

ON RECEIVING THE ETERNAL PRIZE

THE WONDERS OF HOME

THE WONDERS OF HOME, PART TWO

CRAFTING A PURPOSE FOR LIFE

THE FOCUS OF YOUR LIFE

ON THE NATURE OF TIME

CONCERNING SERVICE WORK

A THANKSGIVING DAY MESSAGE

PREPARING FOR THE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

WORDS ON SPIRITUAL WARFARE

CHRISTMAS DAY

UNDERSTANDING DIFFICULT SCRIPTURES

THE WONDERS OF CHRIST’S BIRTH

A GUIDE FOR WRITING TO ONE’S SON REGARDING WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE

PARTING WORDS FROM PAPA

Dedication

While humankind endeavors for a multitude of reasons, none is as elusive or exhausting as finding a place of belonging for one’s soul. Unlike other pursuits, a soul’s homecoming cannot be achieved in isolation. It demands relationship, whereby one spirit enters into a sacred union with another. It is here that we are held with tenderness, gazed upon in love, and energized through the gentle sounds of a partner’s endearing words. Thank you, Cynthia, for accepting my soul—flaws and all—and giving me your love that continues to transform me daily. My life is blessed, because you are in it. I can only pray that our beloved son finds his soul’s counterpart in the way I have found mine in you.

January 9, 2008

Dear Julian,

The great Philosopher Plato once said, There is a peace only to be found on the other side of war. It would be a mistake to believe that conflicts exist, externally, alone. In fact, the greatest battles in human history are devoid of bullets, missiles, and bombs. The arsenals are instead loaded with self-defeating thoughts, explosions wrought by low self-worth, and wounds made by cycles of self-hate.

Why do we wage war with ourselves? To be honest, son, there is little to be gained by wondering why. What is of immense value is pursuing the pathway that leads to wholeness. It is my hope for you that should you ever find yourself in a spiritual landscape of darkness, these letters may serve as a guide. Scripture tells us that the Word is a lamp unto our feet. Perhaps, through my experiences and a journey through the Bible, together we’ll find what every soul seeks in the end: peace born of joy.

Before we embark on this quest, I wish to share with you some thoughts on the day I was blessed the most: December 23rd 2007. It was the fourth Sunday in Advent, and I was just finishing the second of three church services. As the last contemporary service was about to begin, a member came up to me and said, Your wife’s water just broke!

My mind was bombarded by thoughts of all kinds:

•   This is so great!

•   But the baby is only 35 weeks and 6 days! I pray s/he is all right (we never wanted to know your sex before the birth. We wanted it to be a surprise.)

•   What do I do now?

•   Stay calm.

•   Jump for joy.

•   God will protect all of us. He is in charge.

•   I love this baby so much. Please be okay, little one.

I ran to find your mother who was coming out of the restroom. All I could do was gaze at her and think, I’ve never seen a more breathtaking view in my life. I am truly a fortunate man to be married to a woman whose beauty (inside and outside) marvels all who are blessed to behold her.

By the time I caught my breath, I asked her how she was feeling; and she replied that, so far, all was well. You should know that throughout the entire delivery process, your mom demonstrated remarkable courage and grace. It was her belief that you should be born without the negative effects that occur with the use of anesthesia. Because of this, your mother gave birth to you, completely natural. She is a woman who embodies the total package of motherhood. I cannot wait to see her in action as a mother, for the many years to come.

You did not take very long to enter the world (three hours of labor for mommy)—at least I can say that from the male observer’s position. When I saw the top of your head for the first time in the delivery room, my heart leaped with joy. I was so proud of you for how good you were, as you struggled to be born. With every new inch of you that became exposed to the world my soul filled, evermore, with the greatest happiness I have ever known. I never thought a borning cry could be a sound that melted a heart, until I heard yours. Every sound you uttered was music to my ears. I could have watched and listened to you for hours because of how purely amazing you were (and still are). Your birth gave me a sense of value and belonging I had not known, prior to that. My first words to you were inspired by our heavenly Father’s affirmation of Christ at his baptism:

You are my beloved son, with whom I am well-pleased. (Luke 3:22)

I want to be clear, Julian, that no matter what road you choose to take in life, my love for you will never depart from your soul. True love is unconditional. It is not based on the realm of doing but rather on the realm of being. Much of the world grants its approval, based upon abilities and what a person can accomplish. Such approval is short-lived and shallow, but the love of a family runs deep and lasts forever.

But each of us is first loved by our heavenly Father who declared us good before our first drawn breath (Genesis 1:31). No matter what struggle you face, it cannot affect the true value of who you are, which is priceless. Many Christians have John 3:16 as their favorite bible verse of all. Without a doubt, there is something spiritually magnetic about it: For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

It is difficult to really grasp the power of this verse with something as vast as the world in its imagery. Replace the world with your name, Julian: For God so loved Julian. There is nothing God wouldn’t do to be reunited with his children. You, my beloved are, first and foremost, a child of God.

While this may sound simplistic, I can attest that what I am about to write is 100% true. All of my spiritual distress stem from moments when I neglected to embrace the truth that I am a child of God. By not accepting this core identity, I became vulnerable to the ills of a world beset by sin. The experience that shook the foundations of my faith and even carried me to the brink of total despair was a trauma that began at a very young age.

What I’m about to tell you is not easy for a father to admit to his son. Fathers, by their very nature, want to portray themselves as powerful and strong. They want their sons to look up to them and believe that nothing can hurt their daddy. While I selfishly want you to think of me as your hero; I want, even more, to lead you and to help lay a foundation for navigating through difficult experiences. I pray this tragedy will, at the very least, offer wisdom to be used in your lifetime. No father wants to see his son hurt, so anything I can do to help you in this matter yields a sigh of relief to me.

At the age of eight, I was sexually molested by a 14-year-old girl. It happened while I was accompanying my family to the softball tournament circuit for my sisters, Lynn and Lisa. I had a puppy-love crush on an older sister of one of the softball players. I felt special, because this girl held my hand as we walked with the team; paid attention to what I had to say; and even let me sit on her lap, when traveling in the car. Having a girl pay attention to you makes you feel like you’re on top of the world!

It was all innocent fun, until the girl crossed the ethical boundary. While my sisters were playing in a game and my parents were preoccupied watching it, the girl lured me to her parents’ RV. I entered, thinking we’d play a board game or watch television. Instead, the girl trapped me in the rear of the vehicle and instructed me to remove my pants. My body froze in fear. I wanted to run, but my legs wouldn’t move. I started to cry, and I couldn’t stop, despite being told to do so. I felt her unbutton my pant tops and slide them down my legs. She told me to relax, but all I knew at that moment was total terror. I pleaded with her to stop, through the breaks in my sobbing, but she got mad at me and told me to be a good boy.

All I wanted was to magically vanish from the RV and be safely transported to the protective care of my parents. I blocked it out of my mind for 20 years until, one day, it returned to the forefront, following a traumatic brain injury. It was as if an electrical storm of terror was unleashed within my head. Raw emotions of despair that were dormant for decades suddenly emerged—full force—as if the incident had occurred simply one day prior to that.

My soul cried out for relief and looked for any possible way to escape the sadness that was overwhelming my daily life. Each morning was full of pain—bodily from the neurological pain that emerged in the aftermath of the accident; and spiritually, from the shame of having been sexually violated. Rather than rely on the steadfast assurance found in my relationship with Christ, I turned to more worldly solutions for a pain-free existence.

My heart could not embrace the fact that an omnipotent God had the ability to save me from my perpetrator but instead opted to withhold his power. How does a loving Father sit back and watch evil envelop an innocent youth? Where is the justice in an eight-year-old boy having to deal with the shame of sexual trespass? I loathed God for his lack of protection. The God of sanctuary and Sunday services emerged as a hollow vessel who could not sustain me in my newly acquired experience of a world beset by evil. At least, that was the fertile ground from which the Holy Spirit cultivated a deeper relationship between God and me.

After a river of tears and episodes of shouting at the divine, I received an epiphany. God wasn’t watching; he was weeping. He was accounting for free will in a creation ill-prepared to wield it but ready, all the while, to embrace me the way a loving parent naturally does. He offered me the gift of forgetfulness (a 20-year reprieve from the pain), so that I could deal with it when ready.

The Lord also made his presence known to me throughout my life, so that whenever I bowed my head in prayers or approached the table for communion, I could viscerally feel that I was not alone. God does not wish for us to be wounded by the world but rather acts in ways to help us overcome the fallen nature of creation. We are loved and have a place of belonging in Christ. It is this movement from the depths of spiritual despair to a joy-filled relationship with God that I wish to explore with you in this book.

Like our heavenly Father, I want your sufferings to be few and your life to be overflowing with goodness; but I wouldn’t be a good father unless I offered you the kernels of truth I have learned through my trials. I love you beyond measure. And it is because of this fact that I have consolidated my thoughts into these letters for you to read, when appropriate. My hope is that they continuously remind you of your immense worth and lead you in the ways of righteousness. God is always with you as is my spirit. Receive the benediction of the Lord as I said to you nightly in your infancy:

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.

May the Lord look upon you with his favor and grant you his peace.

Amen.

Forever blessed because of you,

Dad

ON DEATH AND REBIRTH

January 12, 2008

Dear Julian,

You’ve been in our lives for almost three weeks, and we have never felt so blessed. You smile at the sounds of our voices, already recognizing your mommy and daddy. We are surprised at how good you are during the day, crying only slightly when having your diaper changed (even that is probably my fault, because I put the diaper on backwards or something), cooing when being held, observing the world with intense curiosity—as you lay on the sofa—and holding my finger, when I extend it to you. It’s like everything you do is an action of love, confirming to your new parents how much you appreciate your life.

On an intellectual level, I realize that much of what you do is a reflexive response triggered by external stimuli. But no parent could accept the scientific explanation over and above the one that naturally emerges from the heart. Science doesn’t forge relationships between parents and their child. The passion from within that is ablaze in love is the force that binds a newborn with the couple that bore it. (Well, Cindy did the hard work. I had a difficult job, though, which demands a lot of respect: observer).

Every sound you utter, and every movement you make fills us with newfound joy. I wish paternity leave lasted for 18 years, so that I could spend each full day with you. I’m sure there will come a point in the next 12 years or so, when that would seem like a torturous thought. (You know, adolescence breeds rebellion). But I will never stop loving you. You have revealed to me a new dimension of life that yields such meaning and significance, that words cannot fully encapsulate this dimension. The best one I can say is that you are a child of God and the blessing that makes my life complete.

The topic I want to share with you today concerns the issue of fear. Rudolph Otto is attributed with saying, All fears are reduceable to the baseline aversion we have towards death. When you think about it, this makes rational sense. What we want, most of all, is to live. Death would really interfere with this game plan, so it becomes our number one experience to avoid it. As much as the psychology of Sigmund Freud drives your mother nuts, he offered a great answer to What is the goal of life? To live and to love. As parents, we will do well by you, if we successfully prepare you to do these two actions.

While Otto was referring to physical death, there are many types of death that exist: spiritual, emotional, relational, vocational, and intellectual, to name a few. I probably should explain what I mean by these: death that is

•   Spiritual—   When the vibrancy of the soul is crushed, and hope has the appearance of being eclipsed (hope can never, in reality, be extinguished).

•   Emotional—   When a person can feel an extreme sense of loss and believe the future looks bleak because of such a deficit.

•   Relational—   The damage to one’s heart can be so severe, when a relationship is brought to an end, that faith—on any level—seems impossible.

•   Vocational—   Our identity is wrapped up in what we do. When drastic change affects our calling, we cannot help but be found in a realm of distress.

•   Intellectual—To die, in this manner, can refer to one of two passings: the ego or the foundational beliefs we hold to be true in the world. Either one lost is sufficient to launching us into uncertainty.

It’s pretty safe to assume that a person will die several times in a given life span. Tragedy, bad luck, and ill fortune are common enough to impact everyone in this world. Therefore, my son, you will experience all that life has to offer—the good and the bad.

But I also believe Rudolph Otto reveals only a partial truth. Death is the root of every fear, but the belief in God overturns all fear.

When a father had his daughter die, Jesus spoke in a clear manner that conveyed the purity of his faith in his heavenly Father: Do not fear. Only, believe, and she will be saved. (Luke 8:50) Notice it does not say that it is possible she might be saved or probable that she will be saved. Jesus declares, without reservation, that the girl will be restored.

If you look at the previous five examples I gave pertaining to death, you’ll see a common absence in them. What is missing is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (the definition of faith as found in Hebrews 11:1). The power of death reaches only as far as the beginning of one’s faith. If someone doesn’t have faith, then death will win and be insurmountable. But with faith, death really has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? (1 Corinthians 15:54b-55)

My wish for you, Julian, is that you feel the Holy Spirit circulating within you on the day of your baptism (March 2, 2008), and never let go. Having faith does not mean you will have an easy life without heartaches. Actually, if you do it right, your life will involve suffering: If any of you want to become my followers (Jesus’s), deny yourselves, take up your cross, and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)

God will never abandon you. He will be an ally who will accompany you in every journey you take. The best advice I can give you on this relationship with the Divine is not to assume that he has left you, simply because you no longer feel his presence. When we lose track of him, it is more often that we have denied him access to our heart, than anything else. God wants to be with us so badly, that he sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross, in order to cleanse us all of our sins.

Julian, one of the most cherished passages of scripture across the world belongs to the Gospel of John. It reads: For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have everlasting life. (John 3:16) Until you graced my life with your presence in the family, I never fully understood this verse. The idea was easy enough to comprehend, intellectually, but I failed to grasp it on the level of the heart. I’ll try to explain it the best I can.

Every time I see you, my heart skips a beat. You amaze me with each coo you make and every breath you take. I thank the Lord for the gift we’ve received in you daily. There is nothing in this world I would give you up for. Truly, I could be offered the greatest riches in the world, but they wouldn’t come close to the shimmering vibrancy of just one of your beautiful eyes. When I looked back at this scripture after your mom gave birth to you, I was astonished. How could God do such a thing? Why hand over his beloved Son to those who would slaughter him?

Then I replaced the word world in the scripture with children or family. Our Father knew what he was doing. He took a part of himself (Trinity idea) in the form of his most beloved, to go and prepare the way, so that every child of his creation could return to his loving arms. The only way one could send out his Son to do such a difficult mission is if three criteria were met:

1)   His Son agrees.

2)   In the end, the Son lives and returns home.

3)   It works.

God became incarnate, because he knew it was the way to show each person how far he would go to be reunited with us. There is no other explanation for the presence of God manifested in Jesus, other than the truth that he came for you and me. We are not the ones who take the first step towards God. Rather, he runs to us and initiates a relationship, regardless of what we have done in our lives. All people are inherently valuable and significant. Julian, when you encounter adverse times in your life, realize that your heavenly Father is saying to you:

Those who love me, I will deliver;

I will protect those who know my name.

When they call to me, I will answer them;

I will be with them in trouble;

I will rescue them and honor them.

With long life I will satisfy them and show them my salvation.

(Psalm 91:14-16)

Receive the embrace the Lord is offering you. It will fulfill you, even to the very core of your innermost being. You are loved and cherished since the dawn of time. For in the beginning, God so loved Julian that___.

This tale of love will continue to unfold your whole life long and will proceed even into eternity because of the gift of the resurrection. How great it is to be loved so deeply.

Sharing in the wonders of the Lord,

Dad

THE VALUE OF A NAME

January 14, 2008

Dear Julian,

While the preceding letter examined the roots of fear, it did not look at the mental state that typically accompanies it: misunderstanding. People are afraid of what they do not know. The novelty is overwhelming, and what it means to a person’s future stands firmly in the realm of uncertainty.

There is an opportunity for coercive maneuvering, when a person knows the name of someone else. I found it fascinating in divinity school to learn that names hold great power in the world, particularly in the ancient near East. Notice in the gospels how Jesus asks people their names. The healing of the Gerasene demoniac is a prime example.

Jesus said to him, ‘Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!’ Then Jesus asked him, ‘What is your name?’ He replied, ‘My name is Legion; for we are many’ (Mark 5:8-9). While I’m not trying to write you letters in the forms of sermons, I want you to see the immense gift that the scriptures are from God. In the text, you’ll notice that:

1)   Discerning the name was a priority for Jesus (It was the second thing he said to the demon after issuing the command to leave the man).

2)   Even at the mere sight of Jesus and knowing his identity, the demon had to fall on his knees and bow in submission.

3)   The demon’s words to Jesus reveal how you cannot separate one’s name from his identity.

a)   What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the High God? The identifying markers are two names/titles for the same entity.

b)   There is something whole about the holy. Jesus is one, seamless spirit without division. The demons, on the other hand, are duplicitous and fractured. When the man is free of Legion, he is no longer acting crazy and self-destructive. He is sitting beside Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind. (Mark 5:15) When we are free of our demons we, too, have one soul that is close to Jesus, in the right mind.

The point is names are powerful. They provide us with a way to wrap our minds around a person’s identity.

Parents choose names for various reasons; some known, some not. My name was selected for a place that was special to my parents: Troy, Idaho. Your name came to our hearts in two, very diverse ways. For me, it was important to give my eldest son a name rich with meaning.

I spent much of my graduate school studying the lives of saints, popes, and Greco-Roman emperors. I was amazed at the colorful lives these men led, and I wanted my son to have a full life (hopefully, nowhere near the strangeness at which many of them lived).

I wanted to call you Trajan, after the first non-Italian born emperor who—by most accounts—did well, leading Rome to further greatness. The only problem was that it didn’t settle with your mom. She thought it would get made fun of in high school. It’s too close to Trojan, which is a well-known condom brand with humorous commercials. I thought that wouldn’t be that bad being associated with sex. There could be worse things.

Julian was another emperor I remembered, whose name I liked. He wanted to regain the allure and majesty of Rome. It had been weakening under the pressures generated by Germanic tribes. Despite having received no military education, Julian proved to be a talented military leader. He had a profound passion for art, literature, and the mythology of Greece. He promulgated an edict to guarantee freedom of religion and worked to create a Roman philanthropic system, to care for the marginalized under his rule. Of course, we all have our dark side.

Julian was not the greatest advocate of Christianity. In fact, he encouraged other religions more prominently than Christianity, because he himself was polytheistic. As a whole, he did well in leading the empire. In your own mini-empire (sphere of influence), I hope your passion is to practice charity and encourage learning (and the arts). Both are positive pathways that will yield goodness in the world.

Your mother liked the actor Julian McMahon, because he is a good actor, and he is hot. Being named after an attractive man couldn’t hurt, either.

The examination of names may seem like it’s off the topic of fear, but in actuality, it’s very much on target. When you really know someone, you are aware of their abilities, tendencies, and typical mode of operation. When people surprise you, it arouses anxiety inside. The level of anxiety is proportional to the depth of how surprised you were.

Keeping with our examination of Jesus, look at the transfiguration. Imagine how taken aback you would be, if someone you know is transfigured before you, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appear next to him, talking. (Matthew 17:2-3) You would likely be in the position of Peter, James, and John—scared stiff! Jesus had to go over and touch them, saying, Get up and do not be afraid. (Matthew 17:7)

Even though they had seen Jesus perform miraculous deeds, they were shocked at this presentation of his divine greatness. It was unexpected and done on a grand scale.

In this world, you will come across more than a handful of people or institutions that wish to frighten you. By instilling fear into you, they will have an easier time manipulating you and achieving their objectives. Fear of failure is my personal Achilles heel. I learned at an early age that losing was not tolerated in our family system. My dad was a prominent attorney in the Northwest. I can remember him losing his first case after years of continuous victories, and he was absolutely stunned. He locked himself in his bedroom for days and cried quite often. I was told not to bother him, because it would only make him sadder. The lesson I took away was Don’t lose, ever. You’ll never know if and when you’ll recover.

Failure became a reflection of the shadow side of my identity. Being afraid of it revealed my insecurities and low sense of self-worth. Failure, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, the greatest inventors and researchers made their world-changing discoveries amidst hundreds of failures. When an interviewer asked Jonas Salk how he managed to keep a positive attitude after two-hundred-plus failed attempts, Jonas replied, "I didn’t fail 200 times. I just found 200 ways not to vaccinate for polio." He believed in himself, his skills, and his calling—enough to be undeterred by setbacks.

We can be afraid of a lot of people, places, and things—if we misunderstand them, especially ourselves. Julian, take time in your life everyday to center yourself in mind, body, and soul. The morning is an excellent time to meditate and feel God’s presence, as it permeates all living things. The central feature (and most neglected/forgotten aspect) of our identity is that we are children of God. No power in the universe has the ability to strip us of this honor. God is the all-loving parent who adores us and showers blessings upon us from above.

By clinging to this perspective on our identity, there is truly no reason to fear. There can be no misunderstanding. Live in the world in a manner befitting family life with brothers and sisters everywhere. Misunderstanding can only occur, when we deviate from this family mindset and try to do it on our own. Just know that with God as our heavenly Father, we can embrace Jesus’s command without reservation: Do not fear. (Matthew 17:7)

For a little extra comfort, my son, Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet, not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)

Julian, you are beyond any notion of price. You can’t put a monetary value on the miracle of