Mastering Me: Conquering Pain Through Faith

By Tashuna Scott

Hurt (pain) is a crippling, deceiving, and destructive force that the enemy uses to stumble, blind, and even stop people from all walks of life! It strives to put us in its world all alone only to invite in other deteriorating powers that will eventually destroy us. Many of us have had our rounds with hurt, thinking that we were winning the figh

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Nov 26, 2019
• ISBN: 9781640885844

Book preview

Mastering Me

Conquering Pain Through Faith

Tashuna Scott

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to my Savior, Redeemer, Fortifier, Strength, Atonement, Father, Friend, Sustainer, and Grace—Jesus the Christ! He is the reason why this book came to pass. There would be no book without the test. This is my testimony, and I bless Him for bringing me through it! I LOVE YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER! THANK YOU FOR PRESERVING ME THROUGH IT ALL!

Acknowledgments

To my husband Andre Pierre Scott, words cannot express my love for you. You are a precious stone; a commodity to be cherished. To be loved by you was to learn the love of God all over again. Thank you, Andre, for listening to God and coming to rescue me when I had tapped out on life and its experiences in God. You helped me remember who I am in Him and admonished my heart to beat again. You are my Restoration, Multiplication, and Hope! YOU ARE MY SONG!

To my children:

—Audra, you’re mommy’s Lil’ nurturer. You’re such a fighter! You fought back when the odds were against you. Thank you for being an example for me.

—Alaren, you are my determined child. You pressed past every obstacle placed before you. You are my example of determination!

—Zarrius, you are my son after God’s own heart. You have a heart that exemplifies, it has been touched by God. You are an example of God’s love here on earth.

—Ashanna, Lil’ Momma, you are my second chance. Jesus used you as a sign to me that it was NOT over!

I love you all to life!

To my mother, you are my consoler. What we did not have before, God has redeemed the time and gave us more than I ever imagined or desired in a mother-daughter relationship. You are my life!

To my dad, thanks for allowing me to be daddy’s girl, so when my Heavenly Father came, I knew how to respond to Him.

To both of my sisters for being so helpful and supportive! I am still the better-looking one! Lol! I love you to life!

To my pastors and friends Kevin T. and Cynthia Moreland, you have been a true inspiration in my life. When odds were against me, you believed in me. THANK YOU!

To my first editor Karla, you pushed me until I said, Yes, I will continue to write until I’m finished! I LOVE YOU TO LIFE!

To my second editor Shelley. What I appreciate about you is that although you didn’t know me, you took on my assignment as if it was your own. And with that being said, you still kept it sounding like me and didn’t change it to where it sound like you. Also, you encouraged me throughout every chapter! THANK YOU!

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

One: Before the Pain 15

Two: After the Pain (Soul Patrol) 23

Three: The Fight Begins 29

Four: Knocked Out 35

Five: The Deceptive Soul-Tie 43

Six: Tricked out of Purpose 53

Seven: Counterfeit Vision 59

Eight: Down in the Grind 69

Nine: Grace

Ten: Remember Me 79

Eleven: Contradiction 87

Twelve: Faith Births Obedience Not Logic 95

Thirteen: Facing the Effects of Separation 103

Fourteen: Call to the Floor of Healing 115

Fifteen: Desiring to Please God Again 125

Sixteen: Withholding Nothing, I Am a Worshiper 131

References 141

Introduction

Hurt (pain) is a crippling, deceiving, and destructive force that the enemy uses to stumble, blind, and even stop people from all walks of life! It has a canopy nature and strives to put us in its world all alone only to invite in other deteriorating powers that will eventually destroy us holistically. Hurt has the ability to distort our spiritual vision only to enhance our carnal one. It creates a victim out of a victor and makes us introverted, prideful, and selfish. As decapitating as this sounds, we will all have an encounter with hurt. Hurt has or will try to invade our lives to test the validity of our human existence. Only the strong will survive the blows that hurt throws. Many of us have had our rounds with hurt thinking that we were winning the fight, only to find out that it has knocked us down and we still haven’t gotten back up. Some of us are Christians, yet are so hurt that our lights are dim and dull, ready to go out. We were hurt prior to inviting God in our lives. Although many were hurt after He came in by another Christian who was the victim but is now the perpetrator. Others haven’t given God a chance because hurt has made us so leery of life and the people that we shut the door to any hopeful thought in someone or something new. We question our very existence, in return, to question the existence Giver.

This book is written for the blood-washed Christian as well as the creation of God, who has never met their Creator. More than a spiritual thrill that fills you up with knowledge and personal insight about my life, it’s a universal reality that will give you a reason not to die and more of a reason to fight to live. Live where? In the world that God has given us and not the world that hurt creates for us.

Starting the tenth grade was not easy for me because I was under the pressure of my ninth-grade year and how poorly I did academically. On top of that, I had an aggressive boyfriend that from the time he said he loved me; physically, emotionally, and mentally abused me.

I remember that year like it was yesterday, and one incident in particular. It was a rainy day at school. My boyfriend and I were at lunch. Innocently, one of my guy friends walked up to me and hugged me. Immediately, my boyfriend was furious and accused me of being intimate with my friend. As we sat there, he began to get louder and louder until others started to look at us. One of my best friends walked up to us and asked, Is everything okay? My boyfriend responded, It’s none of your business.

At that point, he snatched me by my arm, tugged me into the rain, and the next thing I know, we were in a secluded area of the school. Then and there, he started calling me names that I will not repeat due to the vulgar nature of the words. Even though I insisted the guy who hugged me was just my friend, he did not believe me.

This was when the moment in the rain took a shift; he looked me in my face and said, I will kill you if you cheat on me! With tears in my eyes and fear in my heart, I said, I will never give you a reason to kill me because I will never cheat on you! He said to me, You are a liar! At that point, he started punching me in my face, back, and chest. I screamed his name and said, Please, stop hitting me! He kept hitting me and said, Shut up.

After about 15 minutes of on and off blows to my face, chest, back, and the bellowing cries, which seemed to go unheard, the lunch bell rang to go to fifth period. The lunch bell seemed to trigger him like the end of the round bell for a professional fighter, and he finally stopped hitting me. Lifting me up, he said, Tashuna, you know I love you, right? I said, Do you? He said to me, Of course, I do! With saturated, rain-soaked clothes, small bruises on my arms, back, and chest; I looked at him and said, So, why are you hitting me when it causes me PAIN? He looked at me as if the question startled him and walked me to my class in complete silence. HE NEVER ANSWERED THE QUESTION!

Now, buckle your seat belts and put your spirit, mind, and soul in cruise control because through this book, God is about to take you on a ride of revealing, healing, and restoration. His goal for this ride is that you learn to master your (emotions) so that you can master him (the enemy and his devices). There is abundant life after hurt, but now it’s your time and turn to find it.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

(John 10:10, KJV)

One

Before the Pain

Pain (hurt) is an intriguing building block of life. Although it has the potential to confuse or devastate its beneficiaries, it is a fundamental aspect of life itself since the fall of mankind from paradise. It requires preparation to maneuver through its obstacles successfully. In reality, pain is the vehicle through which all life is transported as experienced in childbirth. In order for a mother to bring forth a bundle of joy in the form of a baby, the mother has to experience some degree of pain. Whether the pain is experienced during pregnancy or labor, whether the pain is mild or intense, it is a catalyst for birthing life.

Since birthing pain is expected, most pregnant women mentally prepare by imagining the surreal moment of holding their bundle of joy for the first time. Consequently, the anticipated pain is not viewed as destructive, but rather as a stimulant for life. Ultimately, pain is tolerated because we have been taught that in order to have a baby, we must suffer some sort of pain. Although this truth is, at times, nonchalantly approached, the fact remains, life emerges with an excruciating cry. Surprisingly, for the mother, it is worth the pain for the chance to experience the initial moment of seeing her baby breathe, hearing her baby cry, and watching her baby move; she would tolerate the pain again in a heartbeat.

It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.

(John 16:21, NLT)

As well, it is the same joy that strikes a father’s heart at birth and then motivates him to send his wife back into the chambers of pain. The emotional and physical stress that comes along with pregnancy becomes a fleeting memory because of the joyfulness that accompanies a new healthy baby. For that reason, the emotional roller coaster his wife forced him to ride is neither here nor there. The late-night cravings and morning sickness that led to sleepless nights are inconsequential, even the times of feeling undesired by his wife and accepting the blame for her pain and discomfort fade. The guilt of seeing his wife lose her wedding day figure, and gaining a couple of pounds himself pales in comparison to witnessing life as it comes into full view in the form a newborn baby.

Because labor is filled with uncertainty, the anguish and anxiety of the husband are indescribably paralyzing as he watches his wife endure each contraction and worries for the safety of his wife and baby. Paralleling those