Bad Girls: Rise Above the Madness!: A Crash Course on Self-Improvement for Young Women

By Kikelomo Thompkins

In a world dominated by pop culture, society often relishes the self-destructive antics of famous women, and in response young women often adopt behaviors reflected by these celebrities. As an educator and author, Kikelomo Thompkins has witnessed the unsettling and negative behaviors of young adults who sell themselves short by adopting unsavory habits.

Building on her observations and personal experiences, she now seeks to help so-called Bad Girls--young women with an array of destructive personality traits--find healthier ways of fulfilling themselves without getting caught up in the madness. This guide for young women offers advice on a wide range of topics, including public behavior, language, gossiping, personal finances, grooming and hygiene, and success in the workplace. Thompkins also explores how to use social media in a positive way; how to end a toxic relationship and start over; and how to reflect, change, and create a new you.

With an open mind and heart, you can rid yourself of unhealthy and destructive habits, free yourself from everything that has been holding you back, and start on the path to true, lasting success.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Mar 31, 2015
• ISBN: 9781480815896

Kikelomo Thompkins

Kikelomo Thompkins is a native of Detroit who has spent much of her adult life as an educator serving in the public sector. She holds a bachelor of applied arts degree in communications and political science from Central Michigan University and a Master’s degree in elementary education from Wayne State University.

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Copyright © 2015 Kikelomo Thompkins.

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ISBN: 978-1-4808-1587-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1588-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-1589-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015904361

Archway Publishing rev. date: 03/31/2015

CONTENTS

Introduction

What Is a Bad Girl (BG)?

Bad Girls Can Rise above the Madness and Change Their Behavior

Bad Girls Don’t Need to Demoralize Themselves for Money. Other Options Are Available!

Bad Girls’ Appearance! Advice on Personal Grooming: Hygiene, Beauty, and Fashion

How to Fix Bad Girl Public Behavior

Ending a Toxic Relationship and Starting Over with a Different Approach

BGs and Consequences of Sex

How Bad Girls Escape their Pain

To Reflect, Change, and Cultivate a New You—No More Bad Girl

Acknowledgments

About the Author: Kikelomo Thompkins

To my everything. Thank you, Father

INTRODUCTION

I set out to create a witty, insightful guide for young women who desire personal growth. Each subject is stated as matter-of-fact (with no chaser, so to speak), and I really hope the conversation will leave you self-reflecting and feeling inspired and motivated to change.

In a world dominated by pop culture, society often indulges in the self-destructive antics of women. As an educator and author, I have witnessed the unsettling and negative behaviors of young adults who sell themselves short by adopting unsavory habits. Having endured my own mistakes, I have learned to distinguish between what is appropriate and what is not. My in-depth knowledge and understanding of people, their ups and downs with relationships, low self-esteem, and more inspired me to do my part to inspire Bad Girls to change their ways for the better. This book was created to help Bad Girls find healthier ways to fulfill their lives, without getting caught up in the madness.

In this text, you’ll learn:

• what a Bad Girl (BG) is

• how Bad Girls can change their behavior

• how Bad Girls can create success in the workplace

• how to win at personal grooming

• how to fix Bad Girl behavior

• how to use social media in a positive way

• how to end a toxic relationship and start over

• how to avoid the consequences of being sexually promiscuous

• how Bad Girls use devices to escape their pain

• how to reflect, change, and create a new you

While you’re reading, keep your heart and mind open. There’s much to consider and learn, and I’m here to help.

WHAT IS A BAD GIRL (BG)?

A Bad Girl (BG) doesn’t respect rules or boundaries. She says and does whatever she feels without any regard for others, and she talks about and spreads rumors concerning other people. Heaven forbid someone confronts her; she is incapable of rising above the madness. She will start talking loudly to drum up an audience. She will call the other person every name in the book. If that’s not enough to get the other party to bow down, she will fight in a heartbeat, even if she isn’t that upset about the matter at hand.

BGs also don’t believe in working hard for a living. A BG would rather depend on others to pay her expenses. She will beg family and friends for a coin. She will date men for money. And if she feels like it, she’ll even become a stripper. Working a nine-to-five is too confining and restricting for a BG. She wants to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

The same applies to her personal grooming habits. Her lack of hygiene, inability to embrace her natural beauty, or childish fashion style needs some immediate attention. She is set in her ways, thinking she alone knows what looks good. She’s not going to worry about what society thinks of her choices. At times, she may even go out in public looking like a hot mess.

If it isn’t her appearance, it’s her manners. She doesn’t care about proper decorum when hosting or attending an event. She barely knows how to behave in public. She will host a ghetto-fabulous event and expect everyone to enjoy the drama. If she’s not hosting the event, she will come with her crew, acting loud and wild—messing up other people’s gatherings. But she doesn’t care! She believes she can act ridiculous and no one can check her behavior.

Besides BGs will not take any responsibility for the lines they have crossed. BGs prefer to address personal matters on social media, instead of picking up the phone or making arrangements to sit down and have a conversation. If they don’t get enough attention for arguing back and forth with someone, they will post videos popping their booties or making them bounce, just to see how many likes/comments they can get!

A BG’s relationships are no different. She loves bad boys! She is attracted to them like a moth to a flame. It doesn’t matter if he’s in jail or if he beats her ass. She thinks that’s part of being in a relationship, so she repeats the same mistakes over and over again (even though she is unhappy). Toxic relationships are the ones BGs embrace because they are dysfunctional.

This dysfunction also leads to a BG sleeping around and not worrying about the consequences. She thinks she can do whatever she wants with her Hello Kitty. If she gets a sexually transmitted disease, even that doesn’t change her destructive ways. She thinks, I am going to keep doing me, and if I get pregnant, I have choices: I can have an abortion, give it up for adoption, or become a single parent like all the rest of the women in my life.

If things get too rough, she knows how to escape her pain. She will smoke, drink, or pop pills until she can no longer feel it. She doesn’t care that this is chronic suicide and that these devices are unhealthy. She just wants to escape her internal issues.

Well this book is designed to give a crash course on Bad Girl behavior. If you are a BG, today is the day you need to start taking control. It’s your life, Bad Girl. Do you know how much better things can be if you reflect, change, and cultivate a new woman in you? Are you ready to explore why you are so angry? Are you ready to address your behavior in a productive manner without fighting, name-calling, and talking loudly? We’re going to address how talking about people and spreading rumors is unhealthy for any kind of relationship. We’ll also look at what makes a productive relationship with yourself and others.

I’ll give advice on how women can become independent. You can do this without degrading yourself, losing your dignity, or flat-out asking for money. I will provide some quick pointers on how to search for a job and how to keep it. This can help you become financially independent.

In terms of relationships, you will also learn how to make better choices and find a healthy love life that complements your new, healthy lifestyle. Wouldn’t you rather be surrounded by great friends at fun gatherings that are drama-free?

So let’s get back to the basics and cultivate a new you by reflecting and being prepared to change.

BAD GIRLS CAN RISE ABOVE THE MADNESS AND CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR

FIGHTING

Why do some women—especially mothers—fight like two cats in heat? The media often displays this behavior like it’s normal, but it’s not. It’s dysfunctional to witness women pulling each other’s hair out and tearing each other’s clothes off while bystanders can see their breasts or butts being exposed. Women are not untamed animals, and this is not the wild kingdom. Instead of taking off your earrings, jumping across tables or cars, and attempting to pummel another woman, why not take the time to consider a more sophisticated approach?

The number-one rule of resolving a conflict is to calm down. Don’t try to resolve the problem while you are upset. Control your emotions by breathing and counting to ten (and if that doesn’t work, try counting to a hundred) instead of lashing out at the intended party without any forethought. It’s also a good idea to walk away from the situation until both of you can address it calmly. Remember that walking away does not make you look weak. It makes you look smart— because you are keeping the focus on the matter.

If you can’t reach an understanding, it’s okay to agree to disagree. It doesn’t mean you are right or wrong; it just means the two of you share two different perceptions. Dig deep and know that if you can’t make someone agree with your point of view, you need to move forward. It’s time to accept your own truth and respect that others have their own truths as well. Reacting with violence will never solve the problem. It will only create more difficulties, such as jail time, fines, and a criminal record. Take a time-out. Come back to the situation when you feel you can talk without getting emotional. Your purpose is to gain understanding—and yelling, swearing, and fighting are not going to help you.

Deal with the matter like a lady, even if you are upset. This behavior is expected, no matter what you deal with in life. I don’t care if it’s rejection, failure, setbacks, or something much worse, such as verbal, physical, or sexual abuse; anger isn’t going to resolve your hurt. It’s only going to keep you from the joy your life deserves. So stop denying your pain; all you are really doing is prolonging the process. This is what I suggest you learn to do every time you are upset. Commit yourself to this three-step approach to finding healthier ways to deal with your anger:

1. Control yourself and your temper.

2. Take the time to calm down and collect your thoughts.

3. Think about the consequences of your anger. Do you really want to end up in jail just to prove a point?

JOURNAL QUESTIONS

• Have you ever been in a fight with another woman? What