Tires and Testicles: What You Need to Know About Men and Boys

By James Weigand

Tires and Testicles: What You Need to Know about Men and Boys is the fun and informative book women everywhere have been waiting for. The author answers in a clear and gentle manner the most perplexing questions women have always had about men and boys. The book is filled with anecdotes and answers drawn from real life concerns and questions posed to the author by a diverse group of women.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 11, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450097727

James Weigand

Jim Weigand was raised in Buena Vista, Virginia. He was educated at Emory & Henry College. He received his Masters in History at the University of Richmond. For the past 28 years, he has taught history and generally studied human behavior. He resides in Midlothian, Virginia with his wife Sujen.

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Copyright © 2010 by James Weigand.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Dedication

Sujen Whong Weigand, your patience, kindness, and support are daily reminders that dreams really do come true.

Acknowledgement

I want to thank everyone who helped to make this book possible. Many people asked questions and encouraged me to write. It is for you that this book has been written. I owe a particular debt of gratitude to the following people: Erin VanTroostenberghe (whose hair salon provided me with so many questions) for insisting I write my answers. Camelot Mayorga, thank you for being a sounding board. You have a wonderful eye and a better ear. Thank you for applying both. Kara Oh, queen of the genre, thank you for your advice and encouragement. Mark Preston, your illustrations kept things light and fun. Jennifer Lewis, I cannot thank you enough for the time and care you have taken in vetting this text.

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Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgement

We Need to Talk

A Strange Turn of Events

Don’t You Believe It

Jumping Through Hoops

Let’s Go on Holiday

One Thing at a Time

Put It Down and Step Away Men and Boys in the Bathroom

The Signals You Send

The As-Is Sale

The Chase Scene

The Remote

Why Men Are Reluctant to Commit

The Acid Test

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We Need to Talk

If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.

—Winnie the Pooh (A. A. Milne)

I have good news for every girl who ever wished she could understand boys. The good news is they are not complicated. I think you will find that boys, most anyway, are a lot less complicated than girls. So have a seat, make yourself comfortable, and give me your attention. I know a thing or two about boys.

I spent a lot of time being a boy. My best friends were boys. I know what they do. I know how they act. I know what they like. I know what they think. And I know what they finally become. So I’m something of an authority on boys. This might get me kicked out of the Boys Only Club, but that’s a chance I’ll just have to take. I’m about to give you the signs, symbols, and passwords to the club. I think everybody will be better off for it.

For more than 20 years, I’ve listened to teenage girls venting their frustrations about teenage boys. Usually I hear things like, Why won’t he tell me what he’s feeling?, Why doesn’t he call me?, Why aren’t boys more sensitive?, Why don’t boys ever see what’s beneath the surface?, Why don’t boys listen? You can change the names, and you change the faces of the people who ask those questions, but those questions are always among the perennial favorites.

Let’s take a look at the last one. The truth is boys do listen. No, not all boys are good listeners all the time. Even your best girlfriend isn’t a good listener all the time. And, of course, some people are just better listeners than others. It’s a learned skill. It’s a skill some people have mastered. And it’s a skill some people need to work on. But boys listen just as well as girls. They just listen differently.

When your girlfriend listens to you, she interacts with you. Chances are she will nod her head, pat your hand, and punctuate your sentences with little empathic sounds. She hears you. You know she does. She is right there with you, reassuring you that she is taking in everything that you say. Don’t expect your boyfriend to do that. When boys have something important to say to a friend, they want full, undivided attention. A boy will very often consider all those little reassuring gestures your girlfriend makes to be interruptions. They aggravate him. There is, compared to girls, very little physical activity going on when boys have a serious talk. He looks his friend in the face, and he listens. No uh-huhs, no pats on the hand, no interruptions; he gives his friend his full, undivided attention. That’s what guys do. This is his best buddy. It’s important. He can kid him and josh with him later.

The problem is when guys listen to girls, they get an entirely different reaction than when they listen to each other. He looks in your eyes. He sits motionless. He listens. Hey, you are somebody important to him, and you have something real on your mind. He’s there. That’s when it happens. He gets blindsided. You’re not listening! You don’t care And very often, those accusations are followed by angry tears. Do you think he’s confused? You bet he is. That’s how guys are