Stitched up for the Cup

By Philip Sorenson

Rugby World Cup Final; 2 November 1991
England 6 v 12 Australia
The emphasis is on how Australia’s star player, David Campese, goaded the English team in the media to play a different style of play to the more forward orientated style they were comfortable with and how this ‘stitched England up’.
As a backdrop to the story occurring on the pitch, another story unfolds before and after the match in the watering holes of Twickenham, as a contingent of local rugby fans also get ‘stitched up’, both alcoholically and in other ways, as things become very messy.
We also ramble off piste a little as we explore other aspects of rugby union such as the historical background to the rivalry of England and the Celtic and Gallic nations of the Five Nations (as it was then). We also take a humorous look at examples of the type of drunken escapades and amusing stories, in both junior and international rugby, that were rife in what was then an amateur game.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Aug 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781528968805

Philip Sorenson

Philip Sorenson is a former grassroots rugby player, bar room pundit and self-proclaimed expert.

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About the Author

Philip Sorenson is a former grassroots rugby player, bar room pundit and self-proclaimed expert.

Copyright Information ©

Philip Sorenson (2021)

The right of Philip Sorenson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

The story, experiences, and words are the author’s alone.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781528936705 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781528968805 (ePub e-book)

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First Published (2021)

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Introduction

The emphasis is on how Australia’s star player David Campese goaded England in the media to play a different style of play to the more forward-orientated style they were comfortable with and thus stitched England up.

As a backdrop to the story occurring on the pitch, another story unfolds before and after the match in the watering holes of Twickenham as a contingent of local rugby fans also get stitched up, both alcoholically and in other ways as things become very messy.

There is some helpful narration from ‘Mr Insight with the Benefit of Hindsight and Sobriety’ and some maybe, less helpful observations from ‘Drunken Oaf’, as he is in varying stages of getting drunk.

During the ’80s and ’90s in Britain, there was quite a beer and curry culture in existence and Twickenham was no exception; in fact, it was probably more so, because the rugby culture was also in the mix as there were many top-class clubs in the area; all amateur, of course, in those days such as Harlequins, Richmond, Rosslyn Park, London Irish, London Welsh, London Scottish, not to mention the numerous junior clubs with names ending in ians or onions. Certainly, my friends and I were immersed in that culture at that time, and Twickenham and the surrounding areas were unusual in England, in that rugby was at least as popular as football, if not more so.

It was all about the pubs at that time; there were no clubs in Twickenham at all, the nearest being Richmond or Kingston and these places seemed to come up with ever more inventive reasons to deny you entrance, when the real reason, of course, was that you were too drunk.

The pubs were as I remember them at the time, I’m sure they are very different now. I rarely drink there nowadays as I live a long way away, and last time I did, the whole place looked very different and I expect the culture is different now.

We also ramble off piste a little as we explore other aspects of rugby union such as the historical background to the rivalry of England and the Celtic and Gallic nations of the Five Nations (as it then was). We also take a humorous look at examples of the type of drunken escapades and amusing stories in both junior and international rugby that were rife in what was then an amateur game.

The Bus Stop: Friday Night

It’s Friday night again. I’m standing at the bus stop, waiting for my mate, Tom, having just devoured a Chinese takeaway; all a part of the usual ritual.

Well, at least I won’t have to worry about staying out too late tonight because I’m not working tomorrow, as it’s the Rugby World Cup final and we’re hoping to get in to see it, although neither myself or any of the people I’m going with have tickets at the moment.

I usually stay out later than I ought on a Friday night as I erroneously believe that I can catch up with some shut eye on the tube, particularly, if I am scheduled to work the other side of London, as I am then given dispensation to start later, which I see as a green light to stay for a few extra pints, misguidedly thinking that I can sleep it off on the extended journey.

I’ve really got to rein it in though, as I’ve turned up like a dog’s dinner the last few Saturday mornings, and on one occasion after we ended up at a party, I failed to make it at all, mainly as somehow in a drunken stupor I managed to spill a glass of water over my alarm in the night rendering it useless. Still no such worries tomorrow morning.

It’s not really my fault, it’s just the people I mix with drink like demented fishes, and I’m not a hard drinker, I find it easy. Plus, as Dave would say, ‘A beer may not solve every problem, but it certainly helps, or at least it helps you forget what the problem was in the first place.’

We are making a start as usual tonight in the Eel Pie at 9.00pm, which unfortunately, is changing soon as Bill, the landlord is moving on to new pastures in Richmond, but, unfortunately, not the Richmond up the road but the one in Yorkshire. His assistant for the last few weeks, who Bill has been showing the ropes, is taking over. We’ve taken to calling him Square Ball Ray, as he looks like Ray Wilkins, who was good when he was Butch Wilkins, Chelsea’s 18-year-old captain, carrying everything before him but, like a lot of good players, he didn’t really cut the mustard at Man United. I don’t know how they do it, but they seem to have a knack of turning good players into non-entities and he certainly didn’t cut it with England. ‘Ooh look, how he absolutely oozes class as he plays, another immaculate pass to his fellow midfielder standing square ten yards away. Don’t worry, England have all the time in the world they’re only 2-0 down with ten minutes to go.’

Here comes Tom now. His persona at work may be mild-mannered, but when he’s had a few beverages, anything can and does happen. At least, life is never dull with him around as he’s one of the funniest people I know.

Personally, I would sooner have walked as it’s not that far, but I only really catch the bus to humour Tom, who’s a congenitally lazy bastard. We’ll certainly be walking back though, as buses will be non-existent by the time we finish up.

The Eel Pie – Friday Night

We duly arrive for our appointment and find Dave already ensconced at the bar chatting to Bill the Guvnor.

Unfortunately, the highly attractive bar maid Olivia isn’t there, she certainly brightens the place up a bit. I did manage to take her out once, but I don’t think she was too impressed with my choice of venue (Chessington Zoo, now Chessington World of Adventures), as she was none too keen to repeat the experience; well, I presume the venue must have been the problem anyhow?

Dave spots us and orders up a couple of Badgers.

A little while later, Sam enters the fray. How is he not on time when he only lives around the corner? Maybe Liz, his live-in girlfriend, kept him back. Reasonable excuse I suppose, especially as she’s a highly voluptuous woman.

‘All right, Sam, it’s Dave’s round,’ I inform him as he joins us.

We sup a couple here and then do what has become the norm of late, move on to the Hedge, or to give