The Truth About Us - Inside & Out

By D. R. Acton

We all have these nagging questions that surrounds us every day. We wonder which version of our spouse we will get today. We wonder if our boss is going to be nice or not. We wonder if our kids are going to be happy or sad. We have adapted to these, and so many more, issues all of our life. So many of us want answers. We want to know why women a

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing Group
• Release date: Aug 2, 2019
• ISBN: 9781641114998

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

What Have We Done?

H

ave you ever wondered why you may be off one day and not the next? Have you ever wondered why some people get a response to something and others do not? Our lives have slowly been pushed so far off the rails of reality that we have lost comprehension of what is really going on with us. We have lost our perspective of our basic feelings, our basic interactions, and our basic course of life. It is so important to help put a perspective on things, as we have created an environment where almost everyone is chasing their tail. We are feeling like crap and do not know why; we are feeling great and do not know why; and we are having conflict and do not know why. There is an underlying reason for all of this. We must first know how we got here in order to better understand what is going on.

Hundreds of years ago, we were different. There was a more simple time where people addressed problems and found simple solutions. Then some bright people came up with a better way to do things, and our society evolved. I am sure that people started out their day in a very simple way. They awoke during the day, had some level of productivity, and went to bed at night. If they got sick, then they would try and find a way to get better. What about when someone back in time awoke and just felt bad? They just did not feel like doing their specific task that day. Did they know what this feeling was? Maybe, or maybe not. Do we know why this is? All of my life I have been given these ridiculous answers as to why this is. Some would call it being lazy. Some would say that I did not get enough sleep. Some would not care and just tell me to get over it. They did not know. None of them. So I went through my entire life wondering. I did not dwell on it, but I was curious. I just knew that someone would have the answers, and just kept going. The funny thing is that I never found the answers. After almost a lifetime around people of different walks of life, different social hierarchies, and different scholastic levels, there was no one. Not until I was forced to need answers did I seek the upmost professionals for help. Out of dozens and dozens of professionals, not one could provide the answers.

What I found out was if I had only known these answers before, then it would have helped not only me, but many others throughout my life. If I had known why I felt off some days, then I would have been better equipped to navigate it. I would not have gotten so frustrated. My anxiety could have been better managed. I may not have not gotten so angry at times. This would have been a blessing to me and the people around me. This lack of understanding, and many misunderstandings, helped to force me to find answers.

From the time that I was young until today I have had really good days, and some really bad ones. I don’t mean that in a sense of things that happened on those particular days. I mean how I felt inside on those days. I would describe a feeling of being really hyper sometimes, being normal, and then dragging during other times. From the accounts of so many others I found they have similar feelings, but not necessarily the same. Not until I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (fibro) was I overly concerned with it. Fibro is basically a condition that causes your nerves to overreact. This overreaction can cause pain in the body, fatigue, discomfort, and other physical abnormalities. No one knows what causes it, and no one knows the best way to treat it.

A person with fibro just has to do the best that they can to deal with it. Because this condition was such a mystery, it forced me to find answers in order to live with it. So many doctors, psychiatrist, counselors, and other professionals were consulted and none of them had the answers. None of them could tell me the best way to deal with this condition. None of them said I would have trouble with relationships. None of them said that I would feel bad during this period in a month and feel good during another period. They just did not know. What I found out was that fibro rides a person’s mood. It gets better or worse based on how a person’s mood is at the time. So, I started studying what a mood was. Not until I realized that all of the medications I was taking were making things worse did I isolate how my condition was related to my mood. I then studied my mood with others around me and found out so many more answers to questions we are all having.

I found out that there is one key reason that is a primary basis to how we feel every day. I was shocked. It was such a defining moment of reality that I wondered why this was not a greater topic of discussion. Was it because it was too complex? Was it because that it took a certain condition with a certain person to figure out? I am not quite sure. What I do know is our moods are fairly complex, but moods are the primary reason that we act the way that we do. So, if something is a primary reason for our actions, then why is not talked about in the mainstream? I think that is because of its complexities, and that it has this overall negative stigma attached to it. It has been lost in these years of translation. It has been lost in developing more eloquent ways of communicating. We phased out the answer to the basis of problems that we are having. We put it on a shelf. Well, I am happy to say that I am bringing the answer to many questions back to you. I am bringing it back in a way that you have never heard, as the answers have been developed through years of painful experiences.

From all accounts, the word mood got a negative connotation by putting the word bad in front of it. As people started asking others if they were in bad moods, then the word bad got stuck with mood. Some may say, Well, you’re in a good mood, but more often than not, they bring up your mood when you are not acting your best. So, if most people hear the word mood, they tend to receive to it negatively. Negativity has no value in our lives. Something that has no value to enrich our lives is most of the time overlooked. Mood can also be used in conjunction with weakness, and people do not want to feel weak.

So why is that? Let’s say that you were in a professional job. You needed to get a project completed, but your mood was low. You were having difficulty completing the project. You have a team member who is helping you. This team member is in a high or normal mood and they offer to help. You are glad for them to help, as you are feeling off. Your team member really wants to create the most value for themselves. They may not be a bad person, but they need this value to at least be comfortable in their life. What if that person completed the project and made sure your boss knew that they did it? Your boss realizes this and gives them the credit. He later gives them a position higher than yours, and their value increases. This is the big reason that mood behavior may have gotten pushed under the rug. People do not want to be perceived as weak and lose their value. What if there was a way to understand mood behavior without the fear of being perceived as weak?

In order to provide you with the purest understanding of what a mood is, I refrained from doing any pre-reading before I understood it myself. The reason for this was to provide the most genuine understanding of it. If I had read a significant amount about it, then I may have been influenced in one way or the other. I did read about our moods after I developed this surprising theory and found that some accounts have been manipulated in order to conform to today’s society. What you need to know now is that our mood is the primary driver in our lives. If we can understand it, then it will answer an almost infinite amount of questions that we have about our actions.

I found that most believe that a mood is temporary. I can assure you that it is not. It is also not always manipulated by events that occur in our lives. I can say this because I had an overall normal life. I was raised in a good middle-class home, ate a balanced diet, exercised more than most people, and did not overindulge in drugs and alcohol. I was normal. I went on to become successful and have been married for twenty-five years. I have been together with my wife for thirty-one years. We have two kids and a nice life. At age thirty-four, I felt the pains of fibro for the first time. I took medications for essentially fourteen years. I then figured out that the medications were not working and stopped them. I still did not know anything about my mood until I started unraveling the medication. I could actual feel what my mood was doing. It was fixed. It was not temporary, like many believe.

This experience was like a train that was going at the speed of light. You only see one car. They all blend together. When you slow this train down to a mere crawl, then you can see each individual car. That is what it was like for me. I could not see everything that was going on with me until I was able to slow it down. I chronicled these feelings and events on a daily basis until I had a firm understanding of what I was feeling. I then tested this with others around me.

I started to think back. I had such a good life, but there was this thing that I could never figure out. It had been there since I could remember. I also saw it in other people. It was a feeling that was always inside of me. It would change and come back. I would get irritable; I would not sleep the same all of the time; I would get angry for no reason sometimes; thoughts would enter my head; and I would react to one thing, and not react to the same thing later. Those are the primary things that I could not figure out. You see, I was a giver. I wanted to give and to help people. I still do, and this is my primary motivation for writing this. I never wanted to be angry or lash out. I always felt horrible when I did.

Out of the thousands of people that I have encountered, I know that most of them are similar but different in the same way. They have similar things going on with them. So how can this be? For over thirty-one years, I have told my wife that I think I have a time of the month, just like a woman’s monthly cycle. I just knew that every month I was off sometimes. I would also say that God knows when it is Sunday because I feel tired a lot of Sundays. How can you be tired when you have not done anything? When you have not overexerted yourself or had a bad week? This is after you have slept well for many nights before. It does not make sense. There just had to be an answer for this. These answers will be explored, and we will find out exactly what this is.

What about overall communication? How did people hundreds of years ago communicate, and why? They likely communicated in a straightforward way. If a person was rude to another, then that