The Blessing of Forgiveness

By Stephanie Smith

Does God expect me to forgive? Is it possible to forgive everyone?

Forgiveness is a hard thing to extend, but difficulty is not a disqualifier. Grudges, bitterness, and hatred motivate people to life-altering decisions every day. But, in the heat of the moment, we may not realize we're destroying relationships and forfeiting our peace.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 9, 2021
• ISBN: 9781637695319

Stephanie Smith

It seems an impossibility that so much could already be crammed into so short a life. Stephanie Smith, at the age of 23, has already graduated college with a music performance degree, landed a recording contract with Gotee records, released her first single, ministered to thousands of teenage girls through her involvement with Pure Freedom, and has kept both sanity and integrity throughout. Stephanie, when faced with the choice to either take on another wound or to practice forgiveness, chose the road less traveled. For this reason, God has blessed Stephanie with a national platform from which to speak with authority about walking in the freedom of forgiveness—particularly in regards to the “father wound” that so many people are nursing today.

Book preview

Forgiveness

Noun:

The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. (Webster’s Dictionary)

God’s forgiveness: clearing the guilty by sacrificing Your only begotten Son, so any who call on the name of Jesus have their record wiped clean and will know the love of the Father for all eternity, inseparably.

Forgiveness is God-ordained, it is the right choice always, and it is how we are to live our life.

In this book, I will talk about:

The Self-Care Power of Forgiveness

The Benefits of Forgiveness Over Anger

How to Overcome the Power of Anger

Making Forgiveness a Second Instinct

Knowing When You Need to Ask Forgiveness

How to Apologize

The Difference Between Being Weak and Being Meek

Introduction

Growing up, I was a kid who angered easily. My examples in my home were of choosing anger, rage, and fights over compassion, mercy, and understanding. We didn’t talk things out or seek counsel from God. We just got angry. If a game wasn’t played my way or I had the last pick of a popsicle flavor, I would be sure to cast my feelings on everyone I encountered.

But being angry and holding grudges wasn’t my only example, and it didn’t show itself to me in the confines of my family only. Other kids, other adults, movies, tv, and music, everywhere you looked, the message of begrudging someone who hurt or wronged you spread.

I was raised in a Christian home. I was taught the Bible and the story of Jesus. But the biggest part of what Jesus did for us when he died for our sins, the huge forgiveness Jesus gave to everyone on the planet, was just a footnote to me. That is until recently, when the hurt and wrongdoings my family and I have gone through caused me to take a deeper look at the concept of forgiving.

I have noticed the huge impact two little words can have when you’ve been hurt, I’m sorry. I’ve seen the long-term effects of choosing anger over mercy, of being like the world instead of Christ-like, and decided I didn’t want any part of it.

Sadly, our attention usually isn’t given, nor our minds changed without major interference. That’s why I want to write this book. I feel God wants me to spread the word of forgiveness. I wouldn’t wish to see anybody choose the road of anger that leads to bitterness, loneliness, and so much more. I want to do my part in helping my fellow human help their fellow human. And help someone come to the freedom of living in forgiveness.

Chapter One

Forgiveness is the ultimate form of self-care.

Today, you’ll see a buzzword over and over again: self-care. People are stressed, depressed, and tired for reasons they can’t seem to pinpoint. Someone somewhere suggested this was due to not spending enough time taking care of yourself. This sparked thousands of articles that brought the marketing companies into play, and now everywhere you look, it seems a product has been labeled as a self-care indulgence.

I don’t mean to diminish the effectiveness of a hot bath or the importance of getting enough sleep. So stop right here and listen. If you enjoy taking a bath or journaling feelings, keep doing those activities. I love to journal my feelings.

I do believe in self-care, but I also acknowledge there are businesses and markets in the world that comb for buzzwords like self-care so they can boost sales on products. I also acknowledge there is a devil who wants only to steal, kill, and destroy. But with all this focus on the material, I feel the original intent was lost in translation.

A qualm I have with the term self-care is the selfishness it can produce. There are people in this world who just want to take from others, drain them, and see that they get every drop. But there are also those selfless individuals who give too much of themselves to others and wind up neglecting their own health. The scales are way unequal here. What we’re looking for is a balance; you don’t want too much on either side.

To be a healthy, balanced individual, you need to focus on taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. Those lavender diffusers are pretty, but they don’t do enough for the mind, in my opinion, and they sure don’t help the spirit.

A largely overlooked area is how we treat others. The treatment of others and the concept of self-care are never in the same sentence. Our family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and even the stranger we pass in the grocery line, how we treat them is not only crucial to our mental health but theirs also. The Bible tells us, To love one another as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31, ESV). This means when we’re making decisions that involve others, we should think of how it will affect them. The words we choose, whether we smile or not, and even our thoughts should all incorporate our fellow humans as if they were us. What I’m really saying is, put yourself in their shoes before you put on your own.

We’ve grown up with that proverb, but how many of us ever put it into practice? Life is different now. Things were easier before, towns were smaller, and people had a stronger sense of community. Perhaps that is exactly why we should strive to implement it now more than ever. If the person who hurt you, cut you off in traffic, or just gets on your very last nerve took time to consider how their actions would affect you, could you see yourself feeling more cared for? Could you see your levels of fatigue and unhappiness lowering? To think just one small gesture made your day.

But this isn’t the message being sent around by the masses, and it isn’t the example. Today’s people don’t have time to think about some nobody stranger they’ll never see again. They aren’t here to be anyone’s coddler. They don’t even have time for their own, their flesh and blood.

But then again, no one ever really considered their feelings. Why should they take the time to care for another when no one cares for them? And so, the bitterness and the anger grow, the energy levels drop, and you find yourself in the candle aisle of Target.

Grudges are a lot like germs in that they’re everywhere you look, yet you can’t see them, and they’re darn hard to get off. Think of a grudge as a seed. When someone comes along and trips your emotions, causing them to land flat on their face, your mind hands you the packet of a grudge seed. It’s up to you to plant it in your heart or not. To give it home there or not. To water it every time you think of it and refuse to forgive.

The thing is, begrudging is so easy, and it feels so good, right? Wrong. Look closer and pay attention to how you feel when you