This Is Crazy!: A Mother’S Heart

By Cynthia Williams

This book is about the authors experience of losing her only child and her journey to live life again. On August 2, 2007 around 2:45 a.m., she received a phone call from her son's job informing her that he had was killed in a trucking accident. Cynthia screamed from the depth of her soul while slowly going to the floor in disbelief. In one unexpected moment, her life was in a whirlwind. She kept saying,"This is unbelievable" " This is crazy." Little did Cynthia know that she would be saying this phrase over and over again for many reasons and for many years. She was desperately seeking help in her shattered world of grief and loss. She knew her search for understanding was the key to healing. Her healing process began when she joined a grief support group. She was tired of pretending, of wearing a mask of normalcy. She realized she had only blocked the experience out of her mind, which had prolonged her healing process. Cynthia confronted the loss and began an active pursuit to heal in a healthy way. During this pursuit, she realized loss comes in many forms (e.g. divorce/ relationship, job, homes, death, etc.), but the stages of the grief process are the same.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 7, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490871721

Cynthia Williams

Cynthia D. Williams, a multi-talented, high-spirited author with a unique eye for detail with an inspirational essence, which flows throughout her writing. She shares not only her world with her readers but her openness to cross barriers. She looks at her broad array of experiences as a foundation to all that she creates. She is not afraid to look within and share her mind, her stories, and her awareness of many topics that are not restricted by theme or genre. She is a universal conscious channeler, writer, artist, teacher, guide, and healer who has made it a priority in her life to inspire others to be who they would like to become. Her unique and eccentric experiences that shaped her views upon existence started at a young age, which inspired her to look beyond the veil of illusion and listen not to opinions or current trends but to the pure definition of nothingness where all is possible and created by existence as a whole.

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Copyright © 2015 Cynthia McCarter Williams.

Editing by- Wilhemenia Hogg, Lisa Tarrant, and Stephanie Thompson.

Author photograph by NJ Stevenson/ Ebbystouch.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Amplified Bible, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-7171-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-7172-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015903291

WestBow Press rev. date: 4/2/2015

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1   What Now?

Grief Indicators

Chapter 2   Trying to Cope

Chapter 3   The Roller Coaster Ride

The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

Chapter 4   Nobody Understands How I Feel

Chapter 5   Focusing Through the Tears

Chapter 6   Trying to Work Through It

Chapter 7   Mental Shutdown

Chapter 8   Finding Self

Chapter 9   God I Want To Live

Summary

Scripture Meditation

Important Things to Remember

References

Author

Dedication & Acknowledgments

To My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

W hat a privilege to dedicate this book in memory of my loving son DeMarco Cocoa McCarter. To my husband, Darryl, and daughter Valencia thank you for your love and support. To my parents Lee Arthur McCarter Sr., and Fannie Davis Caldwell, thank you for always being there for me.

To my sister Lisa Tarrant, Cousin Barbara Mims, and friend Tayloria Green thank you for your listening ear. To my family and friends thank you for all your love and encouragement. To my mother in-law Mary N. Williams, thanks for being my class support partner. Thanks to Pastor Michael & Tayloria Green and The Embassy Church family for your encouragement and prayers, and all others who encouraged me in this journey.

A special thanks to Wilhemenia Hogg, Lisa Tarrant, and Stephanie Thompson, for the sacrifice and