Transformation After Trauma

By Stephanie M. Hutchins

Are you feeling like life is swallowing you whole? After experiencing trauma, we often feel like the weight of the world is crashing down on us. This book will provide you with the tools to help break the chains that keep you anchored to the past where your pain and trauma lie. 

There are numerous dif

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephanie M. Hutchins
• Release date: Jun 26, 2021
• ISBN: 9781950336180

Stephanie M. Hutchins

Stephanie M. Hutchins, PhD, author of Transformation After Trauma: Embracing Post-Traumatic Growth, helps individuals overcome trauma and cope with stress. She is a Certified Life Coach, Stress Management Coach, Advanced Wellness Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, and Yoga Instructor. She also owns Serotinous Life, a company that helps individuals harness the power of post-traumatic growth. Dr. Hutchins taught about the human body as a college professor for 12 years, and the capabilities of the mind and body continue to fascinate her. She guides others in harnessing the power of their mind and body to overcome tremendous hardship brought on by the inevitable stresses of life. Dr. Hutchins combines yoga principles, her knowledge of the human body, and her healing journey to empower others with tools to fuel massive personal and professional growth.

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Copyright © 2021 by Stephanie M. Hutchins

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Dedication

To those that feel, or have felt,

that the darkness will never end.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Let the Healing Begin

Chapter 1: Goal Setting After Trauma

Chapter 2: Habits to Replace

Chapter 3: Meditation

Three-Part Breath

Mindfulness Meditation

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Tonglen Meditation

The Power of Meditation

Chapter 4: Exercise

Hiking

Yoga

Chapter 5: Mindful Eating

A Note on Intermittent Fasting

Chapter 6: Creative Expression

Drawing and Painting

Poetry

Dance

Chapter 7: Journaling

Chapter 8: Loving Your Body

Chapter 9: Connections to Community

Chapter 10: The Power of Routines

Conclusion: Be Kind to Yourself

Acknowledgments

End Notes

Introduction

Let the Healing Begin

I

t’s 4:00am on December 30, 2017, day four of my climb toward the 19,341-foot summit of Mount Kilimanjaro (Kili) in Tanzania, the highest point in Africa. I woke early due to the intestinal parasite quickly replicating inside of my digestive tract. Begrudgingly, I got dressed, wishing I could remain curled in the warmth of my sleeping bag instead of braving the cold air that looms at the dead of night in high altitudes. Planning to get back to my tent as quickly as possible, I wasn’t prepared for the beauty of the night. As I emerged from my tent, the sky was astonishing. I whispered, Wow. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. And while I couldn’t see the moon, the stars looked bigger than they had the night before. It was like seeing glistening Christmas lights in the night sky.

The cramp in my intestines didn’t allow me to stand in awe for very long as I hurried to the bathroom. Afterwards, I returned to view the sky. I was so taken aback by the experience that I sat down on a rock to take in the view before me. I was so awestruck that I whispered aloud, Thank you God for this experience. As soon as the words escaped my lips, a shooting star flashed across the sky right in front of me. I hadn’t seen a shooting star since I was a child growing up in the Adirondack Park in New York and could hardly believe this magical moment of the Universe responding to me. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I was overwhelmed with gratitude. As a tear rolled down my cheek, the streak of moisture brought my attention back to the cool, crisp air. I took a deep breath, smiled, and retreated to my tent for a few more hours of rest before we continued our trek toward the summit.

This was my second attempt at climbing Kili. During my first attempt, I got very sick and, on top of that, my climbing team was far from ideal. Having a second opportunity at a summit with a team that supported my journey made me feel fortunate the first attempt wasn’t successful. During the second attempt, I was the only climber and had a team of nine people helping me to successfully summit the mountain: my guide, Prosper; my chef, Faustine; and seven amazing porters. I was actually the first person that day, January 2, 2018, to summit the mountain. Other climbers we passed warned us to slow down or we wouldn’t make it. When I passed them again on the way back and told them I had already summited, they were shocked. Even the guides were shocked. I ate the most amazing meals and was surrounded by the most generous souls. I was truly blessed by the experience.

Being the only hiker, I spent a lot of time chatting with my team. Faustine, the chef, acknowledged my cheerful disposition multiple times during the trip. He confided in me, Everyone is so happy that you’re happy all of the time. He said most Americans always seem so unhappy as he demonstrated their typical look by slightly rounding his upper back, rolling his shoulders forward and mimicked a facial expression that appeared to be a combination of sad and upset. He said the entire group has felt very fortunate to be guiding me because it can be difficult working with people who look unhappy all the time.

What people often notice about me is my smile and cheerful, bubbly nature. What people, like my climbing team on Kili, generally don’t know about me is how many times circumstances conspired to try to make joy an inaccessible emotion for me to experience. In my life, I’ve experienced multiple sexual violations from my childhood to late teens; have been attacked at knifepoint; found my significant other, Stan, dead when I was only 25 years old; and contemplated suicide numerous times. Through all those traumas and setbacks, I learned to hold on to the joy in my life. In fact, I’m often amazed at our resilience as humans as I’m proof you can not only heal from trauma but grow from it. It’s possible to experience life in such beautiful ways, like I did on Kili, despite the periods of darkness.

I’ve experienced some of the worst that this world has to offer, but I’ve also experienced some of the best. Since my traumas, I’ve had tremendous life experiences. I’ve stood on top of the steep sea-cliffs in the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland that are met by the crashing waves of the turquoise Atlantic Ocean. I’ve enjoyed a gondola ride in Venice next to a man singing and playing the accordion on the same night as a total lunar eclipse. During a conservation project, I witnessed a sea turtle dig her nest and lay about 100 eggs in Costa Rica. I trekked around the majestic Kamchatka Peninsula, covered in volcanoes, bubbling hot springs, and gushing geysers. I flew through the sky like a bird when paragliding in the Caucasus Mountains.

Throughout this book, I’ll share stories from my life. I’ll be sharing some stories from my traumatic experiences, but I won’t be going too deep into any of them. My goal is to not bring you into the depths of my despair and keep you there. But I’ll let you look down into the hole I was in, so you can watch how I got myself out. The hope is that you’ll learn ways to help yourself when you’re also in the depths of despair.

As you move through the book, you’ll learn that healing from trauma isn’t easy and can be a lengthy and painful process. But what I’m hoping you’ll learn from this book is that the personal growth you can experience along the healing journey can be beautiful. Embrace the journey. Don’t spend your days wishing that the trauma never happened. That will keep you stuck in a past that cannot be changed. Instead, think of the many ways you can reinvent yourself. Think of what struggles you’ve made it through and how that proves just how strong you are. Realize that if you’re still here after your trauma, you can make it through anything. I’ve used my traumas to prove to myself that I’m unstoppable. It has taken time to get to this point but being able to love the person I’ve become in the process has made the time and struggle worth it. My hope is that by the end of this book, you’ll feel that you can also reach the same level of confidence, determination, and perseverance I’ve reached. Life will continue to test you, just like it has me. But by filling your toolbox with tools I’ll present in later chapters that you can use when life throws you another blow, you’ll see that you’re strong enough to get up and keep moving forward, even after getting knocked down.

Trauma overwhelms our internal capacity to cope, so it’s important to have a set of tools to use when overwhelmed. At various points in my life, I’ve used different tools for relief when healing from trauma. My hope is that if you feel like life is drowning you under the immense weight of all the pain it has to offer, you’ll find ways to stay afloat and eventually reach land.

This book won’t cover every type of technique that has ever been shown to be slightly effective in helping people overcome trauma. Instead, I’ll share techniques that have helped me to cope with my own traumas and how you can apply them in your own life. The trauma healing process will be different for everyone. What works for one person may not work for another. And, by no means, should all the tools be used at the same time.

In addition to these tools, family bonds, friendship, and having a sense of community are all important in the healing journey. However, the major focus of this book is to teach you ways to heal and be happy on your own. It’s nearly impossible to have healthy, mutually beneficial relationships unless we can learn to take care of ourselves first.

As a college professor, I’ve spoken to many students over the years about their anxiety. I offer them tips and tricks to provide them with some relief. One night an anxious student came to me after class and we talked for about 45 minutes. She explained she had a C at midterm and was worried about maintaining that C through the end of the semester. She told me about working a full-time job and taking 16 credits during the semester. She went on to tell me she was doing all this so she could graduate at the end of that semester and immediately move out of her parent’s house.

The first question I asked her was what she does to take care of herself and help reduce her anxiety. She confided in me that she takes medication to help her anxiety and sees a therapist. Thankfully, she didn't say, nothing, which is a very common response I get when I ask this question. However, she still used medication, which doesn’t require her to do the internal work it takes to get through the difficult periods of her life. Please don't get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with using therapy and medication to help deal with difficult emotions. In fact, I’ve used both myself! But both require an intervening external force and discourage you from self-regulating your own disruptive thoughts, emotions, or impulses. Yes, under extreme stress, medication and therapy have been shown to increase one’s chances of self-regulation.

Personally, I started taking medication so I could better handle talking about my trauma with a therapist. But I didn't start regularly seeing a therapist for a few more years after that because the medication took enough of the edge off of my anxiety and depression that I thought it wasn't necessary to talk to anyone. Then, when I finally did start talking to a therapist, I was eventually told that I would never be healed until I was ready to accept God into my life. Then the next therapist said that I would never be healed until I talked thoroughly about all my traumas. The process of reliving my trauma only sent me into a tailspin each time I had a session.

While I could have written off therapy as unhelpful, I persisted in searching for the right person. Therapy became successful for me when I found a therapist who didn't feel the need to go into the nitty-gritty details of each traumatic event in my life. Instead, we focused on my current life, future goals, and talked about how my past was interfering with my current life. Once I started to see how my traumas were keeping me back in my current life, my need for therapy and medication started to decrease.

I still see a therapist from time-to-time. Just like others, there are still times in my life that are really difficult. During these times, sometimes, I make the decision to go back on a low dose of Celexa to keep my anxiety and depression at bay. But I’ve learned how to cope in my daily life without feeling like I need to call my therapist every time life becomes overwhelming for me. I don't have the need to pop a Xanax when life becomes too difficult to bear. I’ve learned how to use breathing techniques, meditation, and yoga to help balance my emotions in my daily life. And from this book, you will too!

It’s better to be able to tell yourself you’re capable than depending on someone else to tell you. What happens when that person goes away or