Mom... Let's Talk

By Jeanne Schaeberle

What does a son do when he hears voices? Withdraw? Or use his sword, Poetry, to defend himself? How does a mother handle family life and death and work through grief?

Mom... Let's Talk offers insight to the power of healing through writing and the sense of chaos revealed in poetry.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Haystack Creatives
• Release date: Dec 20, 2021
• ISBN: 9781953115263

Jeanne Schaeberle

I live with my husband in New Market, Maryland. No dogs, cars, or goldfish. Just Grandchildren. I am a mother of three boys and one girl. A grandmother of three boys and one girl.I kept journals on all four children with the intention of writing a journal book for all four. Mom...Let's Talk is the first book so far. I'm not sure I will do more. I have talked at book clubs. I have participated in community venues regarding mental illness. I have become passionate about stopping the stigma of mental illness. People need to talk.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Jeanne Schaeberle

Haystack Creatives

8270 Woodland Center Blvd

Tampa, Florida 33614

www.haystackcreatives.com

ISBN: 978-1-953115-28-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-953115-27-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-953115-26-3 (e)

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

Contents

Editor’s Note

Message to My Family

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Introduction

Part I - Mumykins

Mumykins

July 2, 1975

You Little Stinker

Let’s Talk… About Mickey Mouse

A Gift Of Poetry

Part II - Quests

Simple Adventures

Quests

The First Spaceship

Finding A Higher Power

Embraced By God

Sacraments

From Confession To Reconciliation

Part III - Chief Executive Ogre

Let’s Get Physical

Communication

Basic Family Rules

Rude Awakenings

Social Relationships- Family Loyalty

Wake-Up! We’ve Got Some Real Hard Stuff To Deal With

Overwhelmed

Good Medicine, Bad Medicine

Part IV - Shabes The Dragon Slayer

Shabes The Dragon Slayer

High School-Strategy Club

Part V - Midnight Madness

Leaving Home

Choosing Higher Education

Davis And Elkins College

Keeping The Faith

Haunting Chaos At The Spine Of My Soul

Voices

Falling Snowflakes

Part VI - Safeguarding My Sanity

Selfless

Human I Am

The Battle Against The Dark

Just Tell Me.

Tom

Family

How Do We Move On? How Do We Grieve?

A Special Thanks

Have A Nice Day

Freedom Of Information Act

Part VII - Mom

Mom Could You Use Some Help?

Part VIII - Angels

Angel In My Pocket Devil By My Side

Robert Mark Schaeberle Resource Room

Humanim

Epilogue

EDITOR’S NOTE

It was my privilege to get to know Robert Schaeberle through his poetry and through his mom’s cathartic memoir. Each writer’s work represents heroic quest for peace and sanctuary, made by individuals who will remind you of someone you know.

Mom is every mom who is or has been the foundation from which family thrives. Jeanne’s ruminations on a religious upbringing and the challenges she faced as a teenager and later a parent, juxtaposed against Robert’s poems, bring his poetry into focus.

The poems reveal a boy’s life initially filled with wonder and gentleness, which was invaded by the awful mental dragons of terror and desperation. These poems are Robert’s sword of battle, forged in the fire of hope. His hope was born from the strong bonds of love between mother, son, and family, along with a deep faith in power of God and His angels. It is ironic that Robert’s heart failed him at 25, because his heart also drove him to be the best he knew how to be, in spite of his mental turmoil.

Mom…Let’s Talk is for young people who are slaying their own dragons and wondering if they can triumph. This book is also for parents, guardians, teachers, and others who care about or work with artistic kids, especially poets and writers who struggle with remaining whole in a fractured world.

Acknowledgements

Encouragement and prayers from family and friends throughout the years have made this book possible. I would like to acknowledge Riverside Café in Columbia, Maryland and Lakeside Café, same location new owner for the quiet where I met my editor, Linda Joy Burke, and developed a valuable relationship.

Linda Joy Burke is a very sensitive person and poet who treated me with kid gloves for two years while we explored my relationship with Robert. All Linda Joy had to say was, I don’t know what you mean by that," and I would ramble on to her what I meant, and the story became clearer. Linda Joy, I cannot thank you enough for taking on this project. Meetings with you became my therapy.

I often consulted with my brother Fred about some stories and he had the same approach as Linda Joy. What do you mean? I want to know more about this." Sometimes I was frustrated with both. Then after ten days of frustration, I would return to the manuscript and see their point, I was finally able to relive the moments and tell the story. On Robert’s behalf, I thank Humanim for the support they gave him and the encouragement that helped Robert pursue publishing his poetry.

Our son, Steven, worked on the cover design. Sharon Tarlton created the family tree design on our garage wall. Finally, thank you Mark for help with the technology stuff.

PROLOGUE

Getting Real, A Journey of faith and Expression of my Spirituality

This seems like a good time to stop and just breathe. The journey I took to write this book has been difficult, joyful, and bittersweet. I want to start by saying I just loved being a mother. That said I never wanted to marry or be a mother. I had set my mind on being a professional woman from a young and tender age.

When I was little, I did not like playing with dolls and other domestic related things. I liked climbing trees, playing cowboys and Indians, and riding my bike. As I grew, I became a committed Christian. I was a devout Catholic who was determined to serve and make the world a better place in my own quiet way. Well, I did live a quiet life and, in many ways, I have served. What I did not do was keep my commitment to myself.

I was 27 and had been working full time for nearly ten years when I realized I needed a life. When I work on a project, I immerse myself heart and soul, and because of that, I felt burned out. I divided my time and energy between my career and my family’s needs at home.

My father, who was only 52 at the time, had his first heart attack. At a certain point, I felt like I was working on a nervous breakdown myself. The tension at home interfered with my work. I quit my job and took the time off from working to help my parents. I drove them to doctor’s appointments, and spent long hours in various waiting rooms, watching boring television shows and reading magazines. I was there to give them emotional support but wound up feeling drained.

In hindsight, taking this direction in my life was a bad decision. Family needs became my priority. I soon learned that I did not like sitting around while waiting for my parents to finish their appointments. When things settled down for my parents, I went back to work as a temporary employee, working at George Washington University Hospital in Washington, D.C. I met Philip Mark Schaeberle while working there. The night after I met him, I went home and told my mother that I would give this guy one week to ask me out and if he didn’t, I would ask him. Well, he did ask me out. Our first date was on April Fool’s Day.

We went to see the Barnum and Bailey Circus. The day our eyes locked in the Nuclear Medicine Department at George Washington; I felt the chemistry between us. When we went on our first date, I knew that chemistry was real, and my life changed forever. Not right away of course.

We dated for three years and became very good friends. He wanted to marry me, and when he asked the first time, I told him I would be a friend, but marriage was out of the question. He proposed again three years later, while on a date at Fort Washington in Oxon Hill, Maryland. This time he caught me off guard and I said yes. Three months later, we were married. I guess he figured I’d back out if we didn’t do it right away. Lord what have I done?

I was no longer just responsible for myself. What was I thinking? What happened to my goals in life? A lot happened. My faith became stronger, because it seemed like I was asking God for help when I could get a word in. Still, I really loved this parenting thing, I was molding the lives of four of the most adorable kids I knew, and I was going to do it right. (Does that mean my parents didn’t do it right? Of course not, but I thought so for years.) My intension was I’m not going to be like parents.

Of course, I am like my parents. I did not get to be a good person on my own. Life was hard for my parents who had raised five children. I appreciate their struggles NOW. Raising my own four children was quite a challenge.

Trying to give equal time was a bigger challenge. As the years passed, the challenges became harder, because Robert’s needs were demanding. I’m sure