A Window Through to Your Soul

By Zoë Hickerson

This book is a selection of creative writings – the author’s thoughts and poems from the darkness of burnout and depression though her journey into the light again. Zoë would like to thank those who have guided her through recovery for their patience, inspiration and belief in her.

• Language: English
• Publisher: CMD
• Release date: Mar 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781952046308

Book preview

Copyright ©2020 Zoë Hickerson

All right reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodies in critical article and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The reviews expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

1. Queen of hearts

2. Roaring

3. Waiting

4. Hanging around

5. In my shed

6. Concrete shoulders

7. Peculiar author

8. The new one

9. Things change

10. Pondering life

11. Cuckoo

12. Get off your arse

13. I know

14. How do I see

15. Broken dreams

16. Doing it for ourselves

17. Will you still love me

18. Sorcerer’s Apprentice

19. Things that I want

20. Granddads old vest

21. Back to the beginning

22. General election

23. Where has my ummph gone

24. Rate your mood

25. My impulsive whim

26. Radical acceptance

27. Answer yourself

28. Responsibility

29. Toot toot

30. Skid marks

31. An unexpected visit from the Dark

32. Deliverance

33. Sand

34. Plastic fantastic

35. My life flashed before me

36. The day that I left

37. What gives me pleasure

38. I’m not afraid

39. Tears

40. A gigantic shift

41. A rant or 2

42. Time after time

43. My new kettle

44. Huff and a puff

45. Sour milk

46. I’m scared

47. Great Aunt Maud

48. Reborn into life

49. I love you

50. A ball of energy

51. The narrowest of margins

52. The penny finally drops

53. Not now in the future

54. I didn’t know you had it in you

55. Over exposure 100

56. Yeah or nah kind of day

57. Sweet and sour pork

58. A gift

59. Kindness month

60. Green eyed monster

61. Communication

62. Gutter snake

63. I could be wrong

64. Local land fill

65. Squatter’s rights

66. Ticking time bomb

67. Walking the plank

68. Weapons of self destruction

69. What do I have to offer

70. Why pretend to be somebody else

71. Emotionally disconnected

72. A window through to your soul

73. Free will

74. I pray for the day

75. I’m not offended

76. Make use of your silence

77. Second skin

Queen of hearts

I can barely look after myself

Now look what’s landed on the proverbial shelf

Unsatisfying

Soul destroying

Little snide remarks

I will run to the park to stop my fuming

It’s overwhelming

Self criticising

Saying that piece of puzzle doesn’t quite fit

I want to spit and spit

Until fire rages through

Expressing myself like this is it good for you?

Tears smart my eyes

Who should eat humble pie?

This is bemusing

It’s almost amusing

What’s on the political agendas?

Where no one knows their right from their left

Sometimes I’m like the Brexit clause

It’s just the start where it’s deftly paused

Like the ubiquitous Queen of Hearts

The opposite direction looks appealing

I want to do some healing

I can barely look after myself

It’s a well known book off the shelf

Look I’m not stupid

I’m not looking for Cupid

Rushing me won’t get it done

I’m like I’ve been in a domestic

The aftermath is hectic

Time has been a slow healer

I know we glorify death

We look upon those as weak

We battle day by day to make it through the week

Months creep by with a cheer

My goodness you are still here

Obviously I’ve made the right choice

It gets harder and harder with that niggly voice

To think that I have

To think that I haven’t

It’s the small things that set you off

I don’t want someone to shake me wondering if I did it on purpose

Who wants to join that circus

When there are signs that smack you right in the face

That says a warm welcome to the human race

Roaring

I’m getting anxious with your constant

Yelling and swearing

I know you’re delusional

Fuck mate it’s getting rather boring

To hear your constant roaring

I used to be quite thick skinned

Now it’s only skin deep

I’m feeling emotional with your ranting and raving

I know it’s not personal

I don’t know what you are craving

And I know it not Tourettes

Give us a break

From your constant roaring

We will see you in the morning

Waiting

What are you waiting for

Waiting makes my skin crawl

What am I waiting for

Waiting here there everywhere

The anticipation setting alarm bells off in my brain

Making me feel sick in my stomach

Making it tie in knots

Feeling stranded is no one else like me

I get this feeling I want things to hurry up

Waiting for time to slow

Waiting for time to quicken up

It makes me nervous I should be there by now

I’m sorry I’m one of those annoying people

It’s set in my brain it’s set in my DNA

An automatic response to where I have to be

Breaking out in beads of sweat if there is any kind of delay

Have to stop thinking

Try to make myself late

Others do it with consummate ease

Still waiting to try

Life is full of waiting

Life is full of wasted