Jesus at the Wheel: How God Helps Me Deal with the Mess of Everyday Life

By Deborah E Johnson

Have you read Christian book after Christian book and asked, “How do
I get to the place that my life is as put-together as this book describes?”
Have you ever wished you could walk side-by-side with someone who is
figuring out what following Jesus looks like on a daily basis? Have you wished
it was someone jus

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Aug 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9781640882126

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Trilogy Christian Publishers

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Copyright © 2019 by Deborah E. Johnson

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769.

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Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-64088-211-9

ISBN 978-1-64088-212-6 (ebook)

Dedication

I dedicate this book to the Holy Spirit of God, who guided me and inspired me through every page. One day while I was reading my Message Bible I came across Luke 9:23. Immediately the Holy Spirit showed me the title for this book. The Scripture goes, Then He (Jesus) told them what they could expect for themselves: Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat — I am. As I read that verse, I clearly heard God repeat to me, Your not in the drivers seat, I am." I had had a few working titles as I began writing this book, but when I read this passage I knew God was giving me the title that He wanted and I have to agree that it’s perfect. It has been that kind of inspiration from the Holy Spirit that has filled the following pages and brought this book to you.

Preface

As a person who suffered from bad religion for too many years, frustrated and confused, I could have benefited greatly from reading a book written by someone whose only qualification was a dedicated heart and a willingness to take God at His literal Word, someone willing to apply God’s Word to every circumstance and walk it out day by day sharing those experiences. Books by the experts are indeed helpful, but I really would have loved a book by someone, a regular Joe , if you will living out their faith daily showing the victories as well as the disappointments, the joys as well as the heartaches. I needed to see what it looked like to take God at His Word and apply it to my own life following the model of someone who was doing just that. I needed to be encouraged by the examples of how prayer is answered by God when we believe His Word and apply it to the daily routine of life.

I have written this book as a result of that need in the hope of encouraging new believers as well as seasoned believers, showing some and reminding others how God truly is involved in each of our day to day lives, and cares about everything we experience. This is meant to inspire the reader to wholeheartedly trust in God’s Word and use it in a practical way to deal with every situation that arises. I believe my credentials as a regular person relying on God’s Word completely qualifies me to write this book.

Introduction

Okay, so basically, the way this book got written was through obedience. There have been two times in my life where God has been very persistent with me, I mean unrelenting. The first time was after a prayer of desperation to know the truth about God. Soon after that prayer I began to hear a voice in my heart telling me to read the Bible. My first response was, I don’t want to read the Bible (thought I’d been there and done that) However, the voice persisted until I finally decided to read the Bible just to shut the voice up. That day marked a radical transformation in my life. What I had never seen before became crystal clear, God’s Word is alive and full of power, power to take that which is broken and restore it to wholeness. The second time God’s voice persisted unrelenting was the prompting to write this book. For a long time, I resisted God thinking I don’t know how to write a book, but slowly God assured me He’d help me. I began to see that it wasn’t about me or my ability to write, but about being transparent, surrendering to God and how He wanted to speak through me for the benefit of those who would be drawn to reading this book. Of course, there have been many times that God has spoken into my heart that have required my obedience, but the two I have just described have been the most pronounced. Ultimately, it is through obedience to God’s prompting that I share these pages with you.

So, as I sat down to write, staring at a blank computer screen I prayed my way right into the first paragraph and eventually through the entire book. I soon became aware that God was going to use my life and my experience as an ordinary person seeking to really know God in the day to day to help others. Then in my pursuit of taking Him at His Word let others see what one person’s journey looks like encouraging them to walk out their own journey of faith. The book is not about doing things my way, it’s about doing things God’s way however that applies to each individual person. Of course, our life experiences are different, but as humans we all share things in common. We must deal with emotions, relationships, trials and challenges, and all things that pertain to life on earth. What God wants you to know, is that all the answers to life’s questions can be found in His Word. And not only that, but His Word has power that transforms people, life, and circumstances. So what I have done is share with you how I have applied that understanding to my own day to day life, and how God has guided me through every circumstance I have shared, giving me wisdom and resolution to whatever I have encountered. In the final edit I have inserted side notes with additional ways God has moved in my circumstances that took some waiting on God and His perfect timing. What I discovered as I went back over the writing is that God is always faithful. I watched as God turned trials into blessings. That’s my motivation for sharing this book with you. I’m just a regular person truly seeking God and trusting in Him to take charge over every aspect of my life. When I was in charge of my life, I was an empty desperate person looking for something to satisfy the gaping hole in my heart. When I finally decided to go all in for God, He took my pathetic life and gave me hope and peace, and a new reality that is full of promise, trust, real joy, and all things good. This is not to say that there haven’t been hard times, there have. But that’s the point of the book; it’s about showing how hard times with God’s help are not hard. What’s hard is living life without God, or only going to God after you’ve exhausted all your own efforts. Go to God first and experience the supernatural power of God all the time in every aspect of your life. I hope this book blesses you and encourages you to step out in faith and allow God to take control of your life. If you do you will discover as I did how unfailing His love is and how vast is His power. Your life will go from black and white to full living color.

Well, here I am, finally. I got the title for this book on April 5th, 2013, and I wrote the date down because I wanted to see how long it would take me to actually start writing. Today is July 13, 2013. OK, so it’s been a little over three months; that’s not too bad. Things come up, lots of things, and sometimes I just create things as a distraction to avoid something I don’t know if I can do. The reason I’m sitting at this computer now is my obedience to what I believe is a call from God to write a book about my journey with Jesus and His Guiding Spirit in order to change the course of my life, and hopefully help you too.

As I approach my 59th birthday, I’m a bit overwhelmed about where to start my story. I have never kept a journal, and I don’t know how good my recall is; nevertheless, I am determined to continue this adventure of being in the moment with my thoughts and the inspirations the Holy Spirit gives me and to relate them with as much honesty and clarity as I can. It is my most sincere hope to connect with you at a heart level and inspire you to give yourself to God and let your life be guided by His Spirit as well. It’s a choice that I have made, and after having lived on both sides of the coin, I can’t begin to tell you how much pain and fret have been avoided in my day-to-day life since making that decision, not to mention how awesome it is to have a personal relationship with the God of all creation. That’s right, the God of all creation is my best friend, and He wants to be your best friend too.

Having said that, I have decided the best way for me to proceed is to be spontaneous and share whatever comes up because I want you to get a view of the reality of God working in the life of someone who just wants to know God and live His will, and that’s me. I’m sure there will be times I need to say things that happened in my past in order to better understand what I’m saying in the present, so I will share whatever God puts on my heart. I just want to be real with you. Honestly, there is no one in my life right now that I can talk to about what’s in my heart, and although that makes me a little sad, I am trusting God that’s where I need to be. I have learned, and am still learning, to surrender my life to the God that created me in order to live the life I was created for.

I feel like I could cry right now, bubbling with emotions of knowing I’m in the right place at the right time. I believe that we all have hopes and dreams that need to be acted out in faith in order to realize that they are actually part of our destiny. No drama, just part of the ever unfolding puzzle. Anyway, I hope you embrace my desire to tell you about my truth by faith in God’s Word, not because I need to, or maybe I do, but because I’m being transparent and vulnerable and because that’s what I personally long for and appreciate from everyone I encounter.

Starting the book feels good. I’m excited about going forward. I can hardly wait to see how God’s Spirit is going to help me finish this adventure. However, first things first. I have heard it said everyone has a book in them. Well, we’re about to find out if that’s true, at least for me anyway. So here goes the first entry.

July 13, 2013

Today started like any other day. As soon as I woke up and checked in with reality, I thanked God for my healthy strong body and the glorious day He has planned for me. It hasn’t always been that way. There was a time when I dreaded another day. From my polluted mental perspective, there was nothing good to look forward to, and my utmost desire was just to make it through the day unscathed. It took some years to discover that God actually has a good plan for my life, and everything that happens to me, including the hurtful, painful, unpleasant, and you-name-it stuff, God is on my side, moving behind the scenes to work it all for my good.

I can say that to you now and believe it because I’ve put God to the test and made the decision to trust Him with my life and all of my circumstances. I’m embarrassed to tell you I finally did this because I had tried everything else, and nothing else worked, but I’m here to tell you God works. That’s not to say that I don’t need to keep growing and improving, not at all, I’m saying that my life has improved so much already, that I want to keep maturing in the transforming truth of God’s Word. It hasn’t been a fast process (understatement), but the more I trust God to act on His Word, the more peace and joy I experience every day. Thank you, Jesus.

July 14, 2013

Day two of the Book. I have to say this seems so right. I think I’m going to learn a few things from this experience. I could easily frustrate myself by trying to do this perfectly, which we all know is unattainable, perfection, but I am allowing myself to be in the moment, praying always for God’s Spirit to speak through me and let it be what it is.

I just got home from church and grocery shopping. The sermon was on point with my current issue. The other day at work (I’m a waitress by trade.), a single woman customer complained to my manager that I was taking too long to serve her, and that I seemed like I would rather be somewhere else. My manager brought this up privately after my shift.

I had no clue. I saw the woman speak to my manager, but it never occurred to me that she was making a complaint about me. For the record, I love my job, and my favorite part of my job is the customers. I’ve been a server since I was 15 years old, and I’m good at what I do. Being a Christian has made me even better at what I do. Needless to say I was a bit shocked, and then hurt by the woman’s comments. I will admit that I’m not always on my game, but I always do my best.

To be fair, I was having an off day, but it was more about feeling disconnected than being inefficient. Here’s my point, in the past I would have let this woman destroy me. I would have dwelt on her negative comments and beat myself up until something else negative came along. This has been a pattern in my life which all stems from a poor self-image that goes back to being a fat kid in a crazy family. More about that another day. Anyway, God has been dealing with me about who I really am… my true nature in Christ, and not what other people say I am. In reality, I realized the lady was a set-up, a literal staging by the Holy Spirit to create a situation for my personal growth.

As I mentioned earlier, I start my day focused on God, and more specifically Jesus. I read passages out of my Message Bible (love it) and 5 or so different daily devotionals. I look forward to it; it’s the best part of my day. It really helps me to get my mind set in the right direction, and invariably the readings will address exactly what I need on any given day, it’s amazing.

Today was no different. If you ask God for help, He will meet you wherever you are and start the process of restoration wherever needed. The key word here is process. God knew I was upset about the woman’s comments, one because I take pride in my work, and two because it doesn’t make me look good to my boss.

Here’s the breakdown of the set-up. I have struggled with a poor self image that I’ve had since childhood. God wants to help me get over that. He says it’s time to see myself as a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made in His image (Psalm 139:4). The truth is, I know what God’s Word says. I have heard this stuff a million times. I’ve just never owned it, but God has decided this has gone on long enough. I will not be able to embrace the awesome life God has for me until I accept what God says about me instead of what people say about me.

So I’m reading this morning, and Joyce Meyer (in her devotional) says that you have to press against the pressure that’s pressing against you. Yes, I get it. Not strangely enough the sermon this morning asked the question: Why do we care about what people think of us? Bull’s-eye! Do you see where I’m going with this? I have a choice, I can either live my life like a yo-yo worried about what people think of me, or I can trust what God says about me, and let Him deal with my reputation. The truth is that I work hard to do the best job I can. My desire is to give God my best every day. That’s my heart, and that’s what God cares about (1 Sam 16:7).

Joyce Meyer often says, I’m OK and I’m on my way The Bible says God wants us to let Him fight our battles. Okay. I’m either going to believe God’s Word or I’m not. I choose to believe because I know God is working in my life. I’m now living a blessed life because I have Jesus in my heart, and because of His love, my life just keeps on getting better. I know that I know that I know God means what He says because faith makes His Word a reality, but you have to believe. You will not see the promises of God manifest until you believe. The good news is, God will help you with that too. I will say that it has taken more time than I thought to grasp the idea of grace through Jesus (God’s unmerited favor), which is another way of saying God actually wants to bless us, so He can get the credit. It comes down to this, life with Jesus is all about His grace and how every issue we face is an opportunity to experience that amazing grace, and to glorify God as we receive it.

July 15, 2013

When I went in to work last night, I made a joking comment to my boss that I was happy to be at work, obviously referring to the complaint about me the night before. The truth is I was happy to be there, but I wanted her to know that I acknowledged her calling me out about the incident, and I was ready for a new day. To my surprise, she apologized about even saying anything to me, and began dismissing the woman for her apparent error in judgment.

What!!! Okay, you can’t tell me God doesn’t have His fingerprints all over this set-up. Instead of getting up set and letting the situation fill my head with all kinds of negative thoughts, I gave the battle to God, got a good night’s sleep, and sailed through the situation trusting Jesus to have my back, and He most certainly did. God is in control, and will move on our behalf if we ask Him to. If I had tried to fix the situation by my own wisdom, it would not have turned out well. Not trusting God and His wisdom would have given the devil an open door to intensify the negative. The Bible warns us there is a devil, and he wants to control our circumstances for his evil purposes.

You’ve heard of the battle against good and evil. Well it’s true. When you choose to live your life for Jesus, the devil will kick into high gear. Surprisingly, this is good news because it means that you are becoming a player for God and the devil wants to stop you. Even better news is it’s just a smoke screen because God has given us authority over the devil through Jesus and you can learn how to kick the devil in the teeth and stop him in his tracks.

Whether you know it or not, if you haven’t given your life to Jesus, you have made yourself fair game for the devil, and the devil will make your life suck. No thank you, been there. I am determined to live my best life from now on, the life God has designed just for me, and because God is no respecter of persons (has no favorites), I will live my best life. Right now it’s all about surrender, trusting God over anything and everything in my life. If you have trust issues, that can be harder than it sounds. Nevertheless, if you continue on this journey with me, you will see the power of God as He transforms my life day by day and be encouraged that He will do it for anyone that come to Him with a sincere heart. God wants us to rely on Him and make our lives whole and purpose-filled.

July 16, 2013

It’s 3:00pm, and I’ve had the day off from work. I love not having to be somewhere. I still manage to be busy, but it’s my own busy. Since I started writing this book, things are coming to mind all the time that I want to share with you, but as I sit here I can’t really remember what they are.

I just got home from the craft store and the trash truck was going down my street. I went and got a soda out of the fridge and ran out to give it to the driver. A few weeks ago I was trimming branches in the back yard, and by the time I was done I had six huge bags of trimmings. I figured I would put a couple bags out each week until they were gone. Our trash collector requires a certain container for trash, and they won’t take it if it’s overflowing.

Well it happened to be trash day. When the driver got to my house I was standing by the trash containers with a cold soda and a big smile. I apologized for the overflow of my trash and handed him the soda. He was very nice, accepted the soda and proceeded to empty my trash containers. I said a prayer of gratitude for God’s obvious favor because there have been several times when he has left my neighbor’s trash for being too full. Then I summed up the courage to ask him if he would take a few extra bags. He asked how many, I told him four or five but there was actually six. To my absolute delight, he took them all.

What’s the point in my sharing this? First and foremost, it’s an example of the blessing of being in God’s favor. How do you get that you might say? You ask Him for it, and then thank Him because God will give you favor if you ask Him for it. The key is to be aware when it happens, and to give thanks to God immediately acknowledging His favor. As for the truck driver, he did a kind thing even if God was the one who inspired him. I gave him the soda to show my gratitude for his kindness. When you show gratitude it makes the other person feel good, and it will make you feel good too. That’s the ripple effect of God’s favor.

The reason I gave him another soda today is because one could consider it manipulation to offer the first soda in exchange for a favor, but the second soda says I really did appreciate your kindness. So many people take kindness for granted, like when you’re driving, and you let someone go ahead of you, and they don’t even acknowledge you. I mean come on, how hard is it to wave your hand to say thanks? That is such a shallow way to live. I pray for people like that; they must be miserable.

As I was driving around today, I was listening to a Joyce Meyer CD about the living Word of God. When you discover God’s Word it changes everything. The Bible will actually help you with every possible situation in your life, and the cool thing is, following it with the faith that you believe what it says will blow your mind. It is alive and powerful and true. Experiencing God’s power through His Word is an absolute game-changer. This can take some time to get your head around, but your heart already knows it because God wrote it on our hearts (Heb 10:16). That’s in the Bible too. It also says taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). That sounds like an invitation to me.

July 17, 2013

I think it’s time to give you a little background on my life. I will be doing this from time to time so that you can get a better perspective on the things I’m sharing with you. Wow, where to begin? I’m adopted. I don’t know the whole story, but it doesn’t really matter. I was told from day one that I was special because I was a wanted child, unlike some kids that are a surprise or unplanned.

Here’s what I think about why I was adopted. I was adopted for the purpose of saving a failing marriage. I think that my mother thought that having kids would shape up my alcoholic father. I believe my older sister by three years was adopted for the same reason. My sister didn’t fix the problem, it only exacerbated it. In my mothers desperation, she must have thought, Well, it didn’t work the first time, let’s try it again. But before you judge my mother, ask yourself how many times you’ve done something that didn’t work over and over again trying to get a different result? ... Me too.

Anyway, I was brought home to an alcoholic father, a co-dependant mother (that’s putting it mildly), and a sister who already had three years of being saturated in this volatile environment. It wasn’t the best situation, but it was what it was. We lived in South Pasadena for my first three years and then moved to Costa Mesa California, where I have spent the last 56 years.

My parents finally divorced when I was nine, big surprise. My mother was awarded the house to raise my sister and me. My dad did little or nothing in the way of financial support, so my mother worked 6 days a week as a grocery clerk to make ends meet, but they rarely did.

I do remember having some good times, but boy were there long periods of crazy. I mean embarrassing, scary, crazy times. Suffice to say I grew up in a very unstable environment which later on in my life led to a lot of painful choices and serious bouts of depression. Food was my coping mechanism early on, which created a whole set of problems of its own. Yes, I was a fat kid, if things weren’t bad enough already.

In hindsight I‘ve come to realize that everything I experienced growing up had a purpose. My history was in fact necessary, every person, every situation, and every thought. I now realize that I was put here to know God and to have an active, full time relationship with Him. What could have killed me actually brought me to my knees and put me in a position for God to rescue me. God has healed and transformed my broken life, and given me a reason to hope and press on. He is the reason I am able to forgive, and be set free from years of fear and resentment, and instead move through each day with faith, knowing Jesus has my back.

What a peace giver that is. After all, He did die on the cross for me (and you), so I must be pretty important to Him. And since He is all-powerful and says He will never leave me or forsake me, I can finally relax and know that I’m safe in His care. I am free from all of the craziness of my past and this world.

It has taken me a fair amount of time to really get this, and I’m sure as time goes on I will go deeper into this realization as I continue to grow in my faith, but I already know that it’s true because I’ve seen the proof in my life, my inner life and my outer life. If you only knew how much I suffered in my lack of knowledge of God. I reached out to God, but in ignorance, I went through years of darkness. When I say depression, I mean deep, dark places without hope. Before God opened my eyes to Jesus, I would have one good day a month if I was lucky.

I can’t say I ever have a bad day now because my worst day with Jesus is still better than my best day ever was without Him. When I say with Jesus, I mean from the time I allowed Him into my life as Lord because the truth is, He was always with me waiting for me to take His hand. I’m so grateful He never gave up on me. Why are we so stubborn?

Controlling life is highly overrated and an illusion anyway. Why wouldn’t you want the author of the Handbook of Life to control things? It’s like reading the manual for your car to operate your computer. Duh? Please get what my heart is trying to express to you, God is the ultimate love of your life. Give yourself to Him and trust Him instead of yourself. Then continue your life as a partnership; let Him guide as you follow and obey. It’s the only way to truly succeed, and the blessings outweigh anything that seems too uncomfortable.

July 19, 2013

Honestly, I’ve been struggling with a bit of anxiety over what to say to you today. As I said before, so many things come to mind through out the day, but they are fleeting thoughts. Earlier today Jesus spoke to my heart to trust Him in the process of being guided by His Spirit and to release all my anxiety concerning this book. I believe that God has a purpose and a plan for this project, so I surrender all of my thoughts to Him, again.

My mom passed away a year and a half ago from a ten-year battle with Alzheimer’s. Actually, the battle was more mine than hers. When she first started showing signs of the disease, I was a year away from completing my bachelors’ degree in Christian Formation. I’m sure I will tell you more about that later. With only one sibling, my sister Denise who was living in Oregon at the time, I became responsible for the care of our mother. My stepfather was still living, but he was in no condition to take care of himself let alone my mother, although he tried. As things turned out, about halfway through my last year of classes, my stepdad passed away, and I became the sole caregiver of my mom.

July 20, 2013

I know, I didn’t get very far yesterday, but I want to keep this real, so I am staying in the present moment and letting God’s Spirit lead my heart. Before I continue talking about caring for my mom, I want to explain that I’m in tired mode today. Waitressing is hard work; it tires you physically and mentally. It’s hard for me to think when I’m tired, and it’s even harder to write. Right now I’m working a six-days-on/one-day-off week, and I’m on day four. My boss had scheduled me for nine days in a row, and I told her I would do it, but I wasn’t sure how well I could do it. She was understanding and gave me the seventh day off. Even God gave Himself the seventh day off!

Back to my mom. During the last 6 months of school, I juggled work, school, managing the apartment building I was living in (12 units), and caring for my mom and her home. I was also attending Catholic Mass five days a week. I was on a treadmill that only stopped for periods of sleep, and it was never enough sleep. I was trying to keep a Godly attitude, but inside I was boiling over with frustration, fear, and anxeity. I was boiling because my sister who was an addict/alcoholic was no help at all, and not only that, my mom had been supporting my sister Denise for many years (admittedly some resentment there), and now I was left carrying all the responsibility of my mother’s needs.

July 21, 2013

To be honest, I did feel resentment toward my sister, resentment toward my mom, whom I blamed for my screwed up life, and if I’m going to be completely honest, I was also feeling resentment toward God. It felt as if I was being punished. Not all the time, but enough of the time. Being a student majoring in Christian Formation was helping me to stay focused and keep reaching out to God, but my mind was in a battle, a battle against doing the right thing, and I was feeling sorry for myself.

At the time I didn’t understand the grace of God or how to rest in the promises of God, which I later learned actually transforms negativity into faith-induced peace. What I discovered was that when you are in a situation where you have a task or duty to perform, you have a choice. You can dread it, or offer it up as a loving sacrifice to Jesus, accept it, and do it with peace in your heart.

Here’s another thing I discovered: living a life of sacrifice has to come from truly believing in God’s love for us, and then loving God back, truly loving Him, which is so much easier when we realize how much He loves us. It’s so important that we don’t love God because of what He can do for us, but love Him because of who He is, and we know God is love (1 John 4:8). So the way we discover His love is by believing what God says in His Word, casting our cares on Him, and stepping out in faith according to the wisdom we learn in His Word.

When we let go of trying to control each situation we face and rest in the grace (the unmerited favor of God) that Jesus has already provided for us to live an abundant life, God can begin to move in our lives and fight our battles for us (Exodus 14:14), especially the battles in our minds. That’s when we will begin to know what a loving God we have.

It took me long time to realize that God is beautifully gentle and to realize how much He wants to give us the desires of our heart, He wants to bless us, so we can bless others around us. God is not harsh, but I personally had to learn that through trusting Him because I had picked up the wrong opinion of Him early in life.

I also learned, to my surprise, that God has a sense of humor. Case in point, a couple of weeks ago I was praying for a prosperous night at work. I had just heard a sermon about being specific in prayer, so I prayed to make $150.00. It had been a while since I had made that amount. The preacher also said not to limit God, so I added or more to the end of my prayer. That night the restaurant wasn’t particularly busy, it felt more like a $100.00 night, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to reach $150.00, but I let go of my expectations and just let God be God. At the end of the night. after tipping my bartender and my busboys, I had made $151.00. That additional $1.00 was the or more part of my prayer. I couldn’t help but laugh, and I laughed all the way home. I love that God pulled a funny. I love that he’s not always so serious but enjoys a good laugh. That creates a much more inviting atmosphere to draw close to God, don’t you think?, and reinforces my trust in the fact that He’s also tuned into me. There was no mistaking He heard my prayer and responded.

July 24, 2013

I had the day off yesterday and just enjoyed myself. I didn’t do anything particularly fun. I just enjoyed what I had to do. The two nights at work prior were very pleasant. My customers were warm and friendly and a pleasure to serve. The crews both nights were enjoyable, which is not always the case. It’s seems like when you give up the expectation of how you want things to be and just let it be what it is, it surprises you by being better than you might hope for. I know there is a lesson in this. My personal theory is that the release of our expectations creates a space that God can openhandedly fill with His desires for us, and that’s always good because whatever God sees fit for the moment is our best possible scenario.

I have noticed this dynamic many times in the past, releasing something and having it turn out better than expected. But I have also discovered that trying to force this position of no expectation will also void it because denying an expectation is ultimately trying to produce something which actually is an expectation. You really have to just let things go. However, having said that, I also believe that God’s Word instructs us to expect His promises to manifest in our lives, and to keep hope alive at all times with a lot of gratitude sprinkled in. The difference between the two is wanting our expectations fulfilled instead of expecting what God has willed for us.

In reference to the situation above, I believe we should expect to see God’s goodness, but live outside the box of what we expect that is. We need to stay open and let God be God and trust that He has our best interests at heart. That means we can hope for and expect God’s goodness, but leave the details up to Him. Many times what we consider a difficult situation can simply be a set-up by the Holy Spirit for a surprisingly amazing outcome. I have many stories to tell about that. Anyway, I’m sure you’ve probably heard the overused expression let go and let God. Well think about that, it makes perfect sense if you really trust God and believe He’s on your side.

July 26, 2013

I don’t really feel like writing today, but in my morning prayer I asked the Lord what He would like for me to do today, and the response was to enjoy my day off and to write. Well, okay, I am learning to do whatever Jesus asks, not out of fear mind you, but from knowing that whatever Jesus asks me to do is always for my ultimate good. I have experienced the difference between doing my own thing and obeying what God puts on my heart. Following God always brings peace, and I love His peace.

I’ll share what happened yesterday when I got to work. I was the first one on for the night shift, relieving the lunch server. There is a required list of side work at the end of each server’s shift. I like to get to work early so I can check my station and have a cup of coffee. Having prepared my station, there was still ten minutes before I could clock in, so I decided to start doing the lunch server’s side work to help her out.

The side work necessary to prepare the servers for the dinner shift is substantial. Such things as the ice bin needs to be filled (hard labor), stock from the dishwasher needs to be brought out, condiments replaced, brewing the iced tea, and general wipe down. I didn’t have any tables to wait on yet, so I ended up doing all of the other server’s side work.

To my surprise, she made absolutely no comment about all of her side work being done for her. To be honest, I wasn’t doing it to be appreciated or even thanked; I was doing it to bless her. But I was still shocked that she didn’t even acknowledge it was done. So as I was listening for the Lord to speak to my heart wondering if I should say anything, I got the distinct impression not to say a word to her, or tell (complain to) anyone else about it. What I believe the Lord was showing me was that my not saying anything to her was going to be a powerful witness, and it would lose its effect if I said anything about it. I know this