The R Word: The Unspoken Word That Will Propel You into Your Destiny

By Kara Garen

Most people's eyes glaze over when they hear that the "R" Word stands for Repentance. This word has a lot of baggage and misinformation attached to it.

But what if you discovered that repentance isn't about satisfying God, but about God supernaturally healing your soul? What if God established repentance to help YOU?

Do you struggle with:
• Mental unrest?
• Anger?
• Shame?
• Bitterness?

Would you like to be set free? Our lives can change in indescribable ways when we repent – yet most of the church believes it's a dead practice. But when we humbly repent, we get set free from so much bondage.

In The R Word, you will learn how to:
• Understand that the Father's heart towards you is love, even if life has taught you otherwise.
• Discover that repentance is not a one-time event or outdated, but a very real way to heal.
• Grow in your understanding of the Holy Spirit's voice and how to thrive in life with His guidance.

This book will explain, through personal stories and biblical insights, that it is only through relationship with God that we can feel safe enough to repent and experience the freedom that comes with it. Allow Jesus to destroy the evidence of negative choices in your life so that you can enter into your destiny without distractions holding you back.

When God restores your soul, He restores your life!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jan 17, 2023
• ISBN: 9781667886473

Book preview

PREFACE

When I was in the middle of writing this book, God made it very clear it was to be written to the youth: specifically ages 14-22. It is helpful for any age, but I believe He wanted me to focus on youth because you are so open and vulnerable with each other.

I picture you talking about many of the concepts in this book with your closest friends. I see you in small groups or dorm rooms, praying and asking the Lord to reveal deep truths to you about His love. I envision you sharing openly about your lives and dreams, and I see the Lord opening the eyes of your heart to fresh revelation from Him.

Repentance was a very tricky subject to navigate at first, but He revealed it to me in such a simple way that I believe it will soon be embraced by many. The sad thing is that some people will never repent no matter what. The Word tells us they would rather have the rocks crush them than face the Lord (Revelation 6:16). Given the choice to step into the light and freedom, they will make the choice to remain in their bondage and darkness.

However, this book is written for those who desire the face of the Lord and His loving embrace which leads to freedom—always.

If I can encourage you to do anything, it is to take the time necessary to walk closely with the Lord during these precious years where many of you have a lot of free time. Getting grounded in His Word is one of the best decisions you’ll ever make and in doing so, you will know Him.

And as I think of your futures, I see repentance and power going hand in hand with this generation. I anticipate great things from those who submit to the Lord as they read through the pages of this book. God has purpose and destiny planned for each one of you! Never count yourself out based on your past experiences. I have a crazy past, and God has yet to disregard me. He happens to revel in creating beauty from ashes. He’s a master restorer. And if there is one takeaway I can leave you with, it’s that He loves you more than you’ll ever know. Seek Him first and you’ll never be disappointed.

INTRODUCTION

Before we dive into the chapters of this book, I want to share what happened directly in the middle of writing it. It was pretty crazy to me.

I got sidetracked with life and took a year off from writing. I believe it was 2014. I remember being so overwhelmed with having children, experiencing financial struggles, and making some tough decisions about our ministry at the time. It all felt like too much and I didn’t know exactly what to do with this book or how to bring it to fruition, so I simply tabled it and told God to let me know if I was ever to pick it up again.

During this child-bearing season of my life, I spent a lot of time indoors. Being an extreme extrovert, it was a very hard transition for me to be a stay-at-home mom, as many moms can attest. When my husband would come home from work, there were some days I would beg to just go run errands or just get out – even if it was to just drive around for a bit.

Most of the time, I would run errands or grab a coffee and stop by a Christian bookstore that I absolutely loved. This store was my saving grace for about a 4-year period. I would browse books, read cards, and simply take in the comforting feel of being surrounded by so many thoughts of God. I consider books to be mentors and I love hearing the heart of each writer, especially when they share revelation from God.

My husband also loves browsing books with me, so one day we went out to lunch and ended up at my favorite Christian bookstore.

I remember exactly where I was standing when this older gentleman came up to me. He said he worked there and if I needed any help, let him know. I smiled and told him thanks. Then, a few seconds later, he began chatting with me.

More than anything else, I remember his eyes being so filled with joy and peace. And they sparkled with purity and life– unlike any other eyes I’d ever looked into. It almost felt as if we were the only two people in the bookstore. And since my husband knows that I’m a chatter, he just moved down the aisle a few feet and got lost in the books.

I don’t remember much of what we talked about to be honest, I just know it was a fairly simple conversation about surface-level things. After about 10-15 quick minutes, I realized we had better get moving since my in-laws were watching our son and we’d been gone for close to 2 ½ hours already! I politely exited the conversation, telling him we had to get home, but it had been nice speaking with him.

I’ll never forget the next thing that happened. I stuck out my hand to say goodbye. He shook it, and said with a glimmer in his eye, It was so nice to meet you, Kara. And remember, its simple. It’s ALL about repentance.

I smiled and he turned to walk away. I looked away and when I looked back I couldn’t find him anymore in the bookstore. During our conversation I never once mentioned the book I was writing or anything about repentance, so I knew that something supernatural had taken place.

I believe that I was speaking to an angel that day. I never thought I’d say that because I wasn’t looking to speak to one and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to prove it. But the entire conversation felt surreal and his words have never left me. In fact, they’ve only grown stronger. They made me dig deeper into repentance and what exactly the Lord wanted me to share with others.

WHY IS IT ALL ABOUT REPENTANCE?

I already had a lot of the meat of the book written by the time I had that bookstore encounter, but I realized God may have more to say about repentance than I had given Him permission to speak.

So I started writing the book again, and the natural next question to ask God was, "Why is it all about repentance?" Obviously, there are so many things in the Christian life that we have available to us, such as forgiveness, provision, grace, love, the fruits of the Spirit, prayer, the gifts, heaven. So why did this feel like it was one of His top priorities?

When I asked the Holy Spirit what He specifically wanted to say to us about repentance, I’ll never forget what I heard. Immediately He shared with me that repentance was never just about Him, but that it has "always been about US."

It was such a strong whisper, like a heart-cry from The Lord. The word Us landed deeply in my spirit. As His children, our relationship with God means everything to Him. It makes sense that this would be a top priority to God, because from the beginning He created us for relationship with Him.

CHAPTER 1

The Confusion Surrounding Repentance

THE ASSAULT

My mind was being assaulted. Memories of past mistakes tormented me. The images of my encounters with men brought back the pleasure of physical sensation along with the miserable feeling of shame and disgust. I felt sick. If I sat still long enough, I would catch myself shaking my head, as if shaking hard enough would erase the memories.

I couldn’t understand what was happening. I gave my life to Jesus the year before. I was in the Word, spending hours a day with Jesus and was involved with some student ministries on campus. So how could I have these thoughts and feelings?

Although I grew up in the church, I went to college and dove into the party scene. That became a stronghold for me. The first two years of college are a blur. I was looking for validation and love in all the wrong places. I hit rock bottom.

I remember the moment I completely surrendered to the Lord. I was in my apartment, sitting at my desk staring numbly out the window. I felt so alone– there was nothing real in my life, even though it was filled with activity and people.

I began crying because I could literally feel the pain and emptiness inside of me. In that moment I felt so overwhelmed and I knew Jesus was the answer. I decided in my heart to give my life back to Him. Immediately God took away my desire for alcohol, partying, swearing, etc. – all of it was gone in an instant.

After this encounter with Jesus, I immediately lost all interest in the life that made up my first two years in college. I wanted things to be different, so I was seeking after Jesus the best I knew how. I loved His Word and I was committed to a total life change. I chose the better path and loved God deeply.

I had not been actively living in disobedience since I gave my life to Christ. So why now? Why at this moment was I struggling so hard? Was I backsliding without my consent? Nothing made sense to me.

BREAKING FREE

During this time, I had in my possession a book that helped free people of spiritual bondage. The book was helpful and led people through prayers of confession. I had gone through certain prayers in it previously but had used it mostly as a reference.

As I was sitting in my pajamas on my bed, I looked over at my bookshelf and that specific book stood out to me. I somehow knew the Lord wanted me to read it.

I didn’t really know what I was looking for, but immediately I found a confession prayer regarding sexual sin.

I felt bad about my sin in this area but had never uttered a word of that remorse to the Lord. I had also never gone deep into my spirit and let the Lord heal me of the pain from those experiences. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, there was a lot of pain there. Instead, I basically shoved that whole part of my life away without ever having a conversation about it with God.

There I was, crying and upset because I didn’t want to be thinking those disturbing thoughts, yet feeling completely overwhelmed and incredibly guilty from what was surfacing in my mind and body. In my desperation, I began repenting of those past sins.

There I was, crying and upset because I didn’t want to be thinking those disturbing thoughts, yet feeling completely overwhelmed and incredibly guilty from what was surfacing in my mind and body.

I was fairly detailed and mentioned what I had done. I ended up crying through a lot of it. I felt so secure with His love at this point in my life that I trusted God with the details. I even explored with the Holy Spirit why I made some of the decisions. Exploring why I did things shed light on my own insecurities, allowing Him to give me truth in their place. With each tear and confession, I truly felt the Lord taking the pain away. By the end of my confession I felt relief and total acceptance, especially after reading scriptures that related to my struggle.

As I was closing my time with the Lord, it ended with me thanking Jesus for what He’d already done on the cross. I knew enough to know that I wasn’t begging to be forgiven. I knew that I had already been forgiven– once and for all–at salvation. But what I was thanking God for was His grace. I was finally accepting responsibility for my actions, and it felt great to release it all to Him.

After that sacred time of repentance, the most amazing thing happened.

I could barely recall those memories or feelings anymore.

What had once felt so up close and personal seemed distant and foreign. I could barely picture the guys and no emotions or nausea came whatsoever. It was incredible and supernatural. I was FREE.

No more shaking my head to get rid of creepy images that I wanted nothing to do with anymore. No more wondering if I was going crazy or backsliding, or if I was ever going to be able to have a normal relationship again without those thoughts and feelings running through me. No more guilt or condemnation plaguing me at night when I’d try to rest in peace. And best of all, no more physical sensations that left me cold.

I was finally accepting responsibility for my actions, and it felt great to release it all to Him.

You see, the inner consequences of those sins could have haunted me forever. Instead, through repentance, the Lord took so much turmoil out of my soul. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that moment was a turning point for me. Everything in my future was about to be shaped by that one experience. Whether I knew it or not, my entire perspective on God and His power had just changed.

A CRITICAL PIECE MISSING

Because repentance is such a critical piece of our relationship with the Lord, it has been a silent target of the enemy for years. Had I learned the freedom true repentance brings years ago, I wouldn’t have had to deal with the tidal wave of negative effects of my sin. It would have been a much easier road handling one or two issues at a time instead of years of baggage in a desperate moment.

There are several areas in the Word of God that the enemy has ruthlessly targeted over the years. Most of the things we’ve been afraid of as Christians are some of the most powerful weapons God has given to the Body of Christ.

You see, the inner consequences of those sins could have haunted me forever. Instead, through repentance, the Lord took so much turmoil out of my soul.

So, when I think about repentance and the avoidance that concept receives from the Body of Christ, I know God has much more to reveal about it.

Most people’s eyes glaze over when they think about repentance, yet there is something supernatural and powerful about it. Bringing my junk to the Lord has freed me of baggage and cut off the voice of the enemy in so many ways. It has literally increased my ability to think straight—giving me a quiet mind and eliminating many negative voices, images, and feelings. It enables me to engage with His Word with less distractions, providing me a greater intimacy with the Lord. It has brought me to a place of much greater self-control. Processing my poor responses to painful experiences with Him has drawn me out of bitterness. And apologizing for blaming God for the bad things in my life has rid me of a lot of stress.

Repenting whenever the Holy Spirit tells me to has enabled me to live in peace and breathe easier.

All this freedom has surfaced over the past decade and it happened through genuine repentance. It’s so simple. I should have done it sooner! We are the only people who get to experience true peace and freedom on earth, and I forfeited it for so long.

Why is that? I asked myself. Why have I never had a real lifestyle of repentance until now? I know it wasn’t taught to me, but why hadn’t I picked it up somewhere? I mean, I’ve picked up many other things along the way, so why not something as important as this?

Repenting whenever the Holy Spirit tells me to has enabled me to live in peace and breathe easier.

I began to wonder if one reason is because it was never modeled for me. Repenting isn’t something we really do openly as followers of Jesus. Some people do, but not everyone and only in certain circles. Even when people mention it, there is a very vague understanding of what exactly it means to repent.

As I mulled over this, I landed on some major issues surrounding repentance that could be the reason our generation may shy away from it.

REMINDS ME OF PRIESTS

When I used to think of repentance, it would conjure up pictures of the Catholic Church and confession. I pictured large cathedrals and confession booths. I pictured dismal people and a stoic priest waiving his hand over people saying, "You must repent. And then afterwards, Your sins have been forgiven child, go in peace."

I personally didn’t grow up in the Catholic church, but quite frankly, I didn’t want to tell someone else all my sins. As far as I was concerned, it’s not something Christ ever told us to do. There is no Christian that is more holy than another, so why would I ever go and tell some random person all my junk? I used to think this is just between God and me. However, in retrospect, I didn’t confess my sin to God either. Really, it was just mine. All mine.

STREET PREACHERS

Another thing that used to confuse me about the concept of repentance is it