Social Skills for Shy People: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Better Communicator, Overcome Social Anxiety, and Develop Meaningful Relationships

By Tiffany Amanda Miller

How to come out of your shell and lead a vibrant social life, even if you suffer from paralyzing shyness.

Do you find it difficult to strike up a conversation with people you don't know very well?

Do you lack the confidence to assert yourself in social settings?

Are you looking for a guide to help you overcome these difficulties so you can live a fuller life and have more meaningful relationships?

Social skills are vital, and if you don't have them, you need them. Fortunately, that's where this book comes in.

Social Skills will teach you everything you need to know to develop your communication skills and become a more social you.

From non-verbal communication basics to overcoming shyness, you'll discover tips and tricks that will set you on the path to social success.

In addition, this book will teach you:

The basics of effective two way communication

How empathy can help you connect with others

Why being assertive is important in social settings

How to improve your social skills both in the workplace and in everyday situations

How to encourage the development of social skills in childhood to set your young ones up for success

And much, much more!

You don't have to spend your life hiding in the background. You can participate fully and completely, without letting social anxiety or shyness hold you back.

Social skills aren't innate. They can be taught. All you need is the right guide.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tiffany Amanda Miller
• Release date: Apr 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201972677

Book preview

Social Skills: What They Are and Why They Are Important

Every aspect of our life involves developing and using social skills on one level or another. Imagine going to a job interview while looking for employment. It may be your first or tenth interview, and you may have an idea of the types of questions the interviewer may have or at least a general understanding of what they’re looking for in an employee. When you arrive at the interview, your appearance and greeting are professional, and you’re invited into a room with a panel of people. They start with casual yet business appropriate conversation. How do you respond? You might know in advance how to answer basic interview questions and feel confident in your abilities for the job, but how do you engage on a personal level, and why is it important?

When you arrive at a friend’s party, you may know a few people or no one at all. How do you introduce yourself and begin a conversation? Do you wait for someone else to approach you, or do you take the initiative and speak first? Knowing how to converse casually and comfortably with people in every situation, whether it’s the occasional party or networking event, can make a significant impact on how well you success in life and how other people interact with you. This book will provide you with the tools and skills you can apply in a variety of scenarios to improve your social skills and confidence while developing active listening, non-verbal cues, and using empathy to connect with people.

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Chapter 1: How to Develop Social Skills

The Basics of Good Communication

Social skills are vital to success in every aspect of life, from networking for employment, making friends, and new connections to enjoying new experiences and improving how you understand and communicate with others. Developing conversational skills is a necessary foundation for how we express ourselves and understand how to effectively communicate. Some people possess a natural ability to engage in conversation with anyone, while some of us may struggle with the initial steps of approaching someone without feeling shy, awkward, or uncomfortable. To start a conversation, you don’t have to be an expert on a given subject or make a big impression. It takes an eager and willing attitude to connect with someone, either because you’re interested in meeting them, you want to ask a question, or merely like starting conversations. For many people, the communication itself is easy, but getting started is more of a challenge.

Keeping It Simple: Topics to Start the Conversation

It’s natural to connect with other people, whether it’s online or in person.  We all want to be understood, liked, and recognized in one way or another. Starting a conversation is one way in which we can reach out to someone, perhaps a new person we would like to meet for the first time, or a familiar face, such as a colleague or acquaintance. We initiate contact non-verbally at first, with a nod or smile, or an offer to shake hands with an introduction. After the first interaction, it’s good to follow up with a conversation starter that will hold the other person’s attention.  The topic chosen should be light, fun, and easy to follow. The setting and occasion are both important factors to consider when deciding on a subject to open with.

What other factors should you consider when starting a conversation with someone, especially for the first time? Here are a few ideas to keep in mind:

Consider the atmosphere and location: is it in a work environment or around people who may likely contact you for employment-related opportunities?  Is the event professional or more business-like? If so, it’s best to avoid openers that are too personal or invasive. While some people are comfortable asking what you’ve got planned for the weekend or discussing current news, others may not want to reveal any aspect of their personal life or views (at least not right away). In a more informal setting, where you may be familiar with some of the attendees and guests, it may be more appropriate to engage on a more personal level. 

Knowing your audience and when to speak is also important. If you’re attending a party with people who are discussing film and art as the main topic, opening a conversation about politics or sports may not be suitable. If you’re unfamiliar with the topic or genre of an ongoing discussion, it doesn’t hurt to ask questions and show an interest. This is one way to start a conversation, and will often result in learning about other people’s ideas and possibly more about a particular subject. 

Research ahead. If you know about an event that will center around a specific theme or interest, it’s always a good idea to learn more about it before attending.  This will allow you to learn about the subject matter and become more confident in approaching others about it for discussion. 

Don’t be afraid to begin a conversation with a simple question. This is a good idea if you’re not too familiar with a specific venue or people outside your circle, and want to become acquainted with a new interest. More often than not, people are delighted to explain and share information about a topic they are passionate and excited about. Some of the best experiences in life are unexpected and opportunities to learn something new, whether it’s the arts, theater, or a new sport or hobby.

What topics are best to start a conversation with? One of the most common ways to engage with people is to ask or comment about the weather. It’s a non-contentious subject that will always receive a response, and a good segway into more conversation.  For some people, talking about the chance of rain or the likelihood of a storm is not compelling enough, and they would rather be more creative. If this is the case, there are other ways to engage someone without appearing dull or uninteresting. For example, you may want to learn something new, and opening with a question will show interest and give the other person the impression that you value their opinion.  This could be as easy asking for advice or an opinion on a light-hearted topic, like the examples below.

I’m trying to settle a dispute about choosing a vacation destination, can you help me decide? I’d like to hear your opinion.

I’d like to learn more about the restaurants in this area. Are there any you would recommend?

Are there any good films out that are worthwhile?  Any you would suggest?

In each of these questions, there is immediate engagement, and most people will respond, even if they don’t know exactly how to answer. A conversation starting with a question about choosing a restaurant may develop into a discussion about food, healthy eating, and culinary tastes. Try to avoid worn cliche phrases such as Do you come here often? or something that sounds too much like a pick-up line or over-used starter. You can simply ask someone how they are and offer a handshake or comment on the general surroundings. If one conversation starter doesn’t work, try another one, and keep it light, positive and fun, such as one of the following:

Good morning/afternoon/evening.  How are you?  (followed by an introduction)

This is a nice place. I like the decor. What do you think?

I’m new to this place.  Is there anything you would recommend I try/learn/check out?

Keeping it simple is ultimately the best way to start. Making too much of an effort to impress