Hot Confidence: Conscious Pathways to Take You from Mini-Me to Magnificent

By Nadine Love

You know youre here to make a difference. Would you like to become aware fullest potential and how to engage it? Perhaps low self-confidence is preventing you from sharing your talents, message and love with the world.

How many of your brilliant ideas die in the dust of self-doubt? That doesnt have to happen to you.

Is this you? Are you missing out on a great relationship? Are you passionate about your career? Are you happy? If youre frustrated with your answer to any of these important life questions, you need a jolt of Hot Confidence.

In this life-changing book, youll discover how to

cultivate sizzling self-esteem, so you can live and love without reservation or fear;

engage your power and passion, so you can clear and align your intentions and actions;

master your inner magnetic potential, so you attract the relationships and opportunities you deserve;

develop solid self-belief in order to fully experience and share your positive transformation

express your talents and opinions, so you can live boldly and authentically.

Through an exciting new blend of ancient healing knowledge and modern principles of the subtle energy system with cutting-edge findings from neuro-linguistic programming and positive psychology, human-potential expert Nadine Love offers a breakthrough approach to learning self-esteem.

Isnt it time to harness your unique potential and power?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Jul 28, 2012
• ISBN: 9781452505749

Nadine Love

Nadine Love, MA, is a prize-winning transformational author, celebrated international speaker, award-winning trainer, and motivational mentor. With twenty-five years’ experience in the international wellness industry, she enables people to live their boldest dreams and to make their unique difference. Nadine is passionate about contributing to a resilient, peaceful, conscious global community.

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Copyright © 2012, 2013 Nadine Love

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/06/2013

CONTENTS

Introduction: The Invitation

The Impact Of Past Experience And Conditioning

Everything Is Energy

Lay Of The Land

You Can Change Anything You Choose To

Making The Most Of This Book

Chapter 1: The Lost Property Box

Take A Candid Look

Are You A Spark, Damp Wick, Or Cold Coal?

Your Purpose And The Lost Property Box

Finding Your Purpose (Exercise)

Making Hot Confidence Your Default Setting

Confidence And Self-Esteem

Intend To Be Confident

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 2: Believe Hot

What’s Hot?

Identifying Your Mini-Me?

Who Is Your Mini-Me? (Exercise)

About Self-Sabotage

Self-Talk

Seven-Step Strategy To Positive Self-Talk

The Impact Of Experience And Conditioning

Pillar Of Core Truths

Safe Harbor (Exercise)

The Beauty Of ‘No’

Where Are You?

Reality Check (Exercise)

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 3: Purpose, Presence, And Values

Getting Present

Accepting Self

The Seven Secrets Of Self-Acceptance

Your Personal Umbrella Mission

Knowing Your Core Codes

Accepting Change

Accepting Others

Perspective Expansion

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 4: Make The Dragon Your Pet

What’s The Worst Thing?

Maslow Had The Moves

Getting Familiar With Fear

The Five Foundation-Shaking Fears

Introducing Mash-Me’s

Messages From The Body

How To Tame Your Dragon

Three Essential Fear-Busting Qualities

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 5: Bring On The Sunlit Bowl

Reclaiming Your Right To Be Here

Gateway To Your Individuality

Finding True North

Grounded In Your Groove

Simple Grounding Strategies

The Four Pillars Of Confidence

Building Self-Trust

Three Keys To Self-Trust

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 6: Activate Your Attraction Engine

Aphrodite’s Potent Tango

To Bring Into Being

Passion’s Home Port

Unpacking Pleasure

Guilt: Glimpse The Gift And Get Over It

Your Six Core Needs

Exploring Your Essential Polarities

The Shadow Self

Are You Ready To Dare To Be Hot?

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Chapter 7: The Call To Command

The Bending Of Your Will

Spheres Of Influence

Understanding Self-Esteem

The Five Core-Drivers Of Self-Esteem

How Dogmas Influence Our Attitude Toward Self

Heracles And The Honeycomb

The Shame Serpent

Mastering Your Shame Serpent

Supercharge Your Solar Plexus

Seven Steps To Sizzling Self-Esteem

Moments Of Triumph

Summary

Pivotal Points

Affirmations

Moving Forward: Shine Your Light

Acknowledgments

About The Author

Bibliography

To my daughter, Mira Moonbeam,

who is my constant inspiration

Celebrating her spontaneous delight in life, laughter,

compassion, love, and bold authenticity

I am in your heart, and you are in mine.

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INTRODUCTION

THE INVITATION

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered—either by themselves or by others.

~ Mark Twain

B rilliant ideas die in the dust of self-doubt. Do you ever feel that you are not good enough? Does fear prevent you from stepping forward? Lack of self-worth and the Five Foundation-Shaking Fears prevent people, every second, from sharing their talents, message, and love with the world. Is this you?

If you were consistently the most positive, productive, enthusiastic, decisive, and attractive person you know, what would that give you? What difference would that make in terms of your relationships, your work, and your finances?

In Hot Confidence: Conscious Pathways to Take You from Mini-Me to Magnificent, you’ll discover:

•   How you can transform your fear and self-doubt into glowing confidence and sizzling self-esteem, so you can live, love, and give fully

•   The major reasons that you’re not following through on your dreams, ideas, and visions

•   How to recognize and master the true magnetic potential within you, so you can attract the great relationships you deserve and express your talents and your message boldly and authentically

Hot Confidence is dedicated to freeing your potential and your creative outcomes. By virtue of what you manifest, the world can be transformed. This book promises to provide you with a roadmap to resilient, rock-solid confidence. In it you will learn a comprehensive, easy-to-follow system that will enable you to:

1.   Identify unhelpful beliefs and strategies, usually set in place before you were seven years of age and possibly before birth and even conception (Whatever you do or don’t believe about past lives and reincarnation, I suggest an open-minded approach for the sake of more easily stepping into your fullest potential.)

2.   Clear out old thought patterns and unhelpful strategies

3.   Retrieve the positive, resourceful responses that have been inside you all along

4.   Install new ways of thinking and being, enabling your choice to be confident, certain, and magnetic

5.   Appreciate the results of your achievements, thereby creating new reference points for confidence and self-esteem

6.   Celebrate the you that you aspire to be

The proven, life-changing system outlined in this book incorporates ancient yogic knowledge with cutting-edge findings from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Positive Psychology, powerful coaching techniques, and real-life stories. The Hot Confidence breakthrough sequence blends best practices from East and West, seasoned with over a quarter-century of dedicated experience in helping people find their unique voice. It will assist you to become bold in self-expression for passion, wealth-creation, and giving.

Do you find change causes you stress? Have you ever felt undervalued? Do you realize that you have intelligence, skills, life experiences, and abilities that can be transferred into other pursuits? Did you know that up to eighty-five percent of your potential might not have been tapped yet?

Would you like to do something different with your life, and you lack the confidence to make the break? I once asked a group of thirty-five advanced life-coach students this question: If you were to identify the single, greatest obstacle to your personal success and happiness, what would that be?

Some lively conversation ensued. The key personal obstacles identified by these Diploma in Life and Executive Coaching students were:

•   Self-doubt

•   Low self-esteem

•   Fear of not getting it right

•   Fear of not being good enough

•   Lack of confidence to apply what I’ve learned

All the tactical, practical skills, models, cutting-edge techniques, and world-class business-building strategies they had received as part of their training were not enough to enable this group of educated and committed coaches to apply what they knew in their own lives.

It was as if a lightning bolt shot through me. I was keenly aware of the cost of remaining a prisoner to fear, doubt, and low self-esteem. I felt compelled to offer something to this group that would give these extraordinary individuals a clear route out of their inertia.

I knew that to galvanize them, I needed to help them understand the massive losses that result from an inability to take confident action. When inertia rules, every area of life is affected. The scale of the sacrifices caused by inaction affects loved ones, finances, health, and the choices available to us.

It was not enough to say to these coaches: Think of all those who might benefit if you were able get on with the business of sharing your unique message, putting your amazing skill sets to good use! They needed something practical, some new knowledge to assist them.

The solution I found was a perfect coming together of Eastern and Western approaches to healing and well-being. The process that evolved out of that memorable training experience has proven to be a winning formula for me and for my clients, because it is a step-by-step, thorough program that attends to:

1.   How we communicate

2.   How we attribute meaning to past experiences

3.   How to change that meaning at will

4.   How to clear and align the body’s subtle energy system

Taken together and presented systematically, this knowledge has transformed lives. May it help transform your life, opening the door to the self-confidence you deserve and the achievement of all your dreams!

On a personal note, I have gained firsthand knowledge multiple times of the routes from mini-me to magnificent. I have been so immobilized by doubt and fear that one time, for example, I did not know how to dress my daughter in the morning, let alone make a sensible decision. If I know two things inside-out, they would be:

•   How to get from fear to fabulous, and

•   How to transform bone-numbing self-doubt into dreams-come-true.

Twenty-five years in the personal development and wellness industry, constructing and walking away from two million-dollar businesses, rebuilding my life from scratch each time in the college of hard knocks—these experiences have placed me in an extremely strong position to deliver your fast-track highway to confidence.

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THE IMPACT OF PAST EXPERIENCE AND CONDITIONING

Self-esteem and confidence levels are shaped by past experience, past influences, and our conditioning. Sociologist Morris Massey describes three developmental periods in which our values are formed. The most significant of all is the Imprint Period, which is up until age seven. It is in this critical phase that we are shaped, taking on beliefs, values, and attitudes that steer the course of our lives. It is somewhat sobering to realize that unless you’ve made conscious changes as an adult, you continue to chart your course through life based on the impulses, agreements, values, beliefs, and conditioning of a child of seven or less!

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EVERYTHING IS ENERGY

It is a law of our universe that everything is energy. Our thoughts are energy. Our systems are pure energy.

When I say system, I am referring to your physical body and also the aspects of you beyond what you see in the mirror as your body. I mean both your physical body and the energetic field that extends beyond that—something Eastern traditions call the subtle body. This force field is also known as the aura.

Our self-esteem is an energy frequency, too. To gain fresh perspectives on the nature of change, it is important to understand how our energy systems receive, absorb, and transmit information.

An appreciation of the body’s subtle energy system will illumine:

•   Where your hooks, blocks, and challenges are

•   How you have chosen to ascribe meaning to your experience

•   What patterns, issues, values, beliefs, and contracts bind you

•   Why you have been unable to take the next step toward making your dreams a reality

Ancient Eastern understanding of how energy is absorbed and rerouted around the body to where it is needed is known as the study of the chakra system. This knowledge has its origins in India over four thousand years ago.

The word chakra is Sanskrit for wheel or disc. It refers to a spinning sphere of bio-energetic movement flowing from the major nerve ganglia that branch forward from the spinal column. Seven such discs are arranged in a column of energy from the base of the spine to the top of the head. Traditional writings refer to 88,000 chakras. These include minor chakras in the head, hands, feet, knees, fingertips, and shoulders, for example.

The chakras are not physical matter, in the same way that thoughts and feelings are not physical objects. Each of the seven main chakras resonates with a specific principle of human psychological health. They are:

Chakra 1:    Known as the base center or muladhara, also called the root chakra—this chakra is concerned with the drive for survival

Chakra 2:    Known as the sacral chakra or svadhistana—the chakra concerned with sexual energy and procreation

Chakra 3:    Known as the solar plexus chakra, manipura, navel chakra, spleen chakra, stomach chakra, or liver chakra—the chakra concerned with power

Chakra 4:    Known as the heart chakra or anahata—the chakra that generates the energy of love

Chakra 5:    Known as the throat chakra or vishuddha—the chakra that governs communication

Chakra 6:    Known as the third eye or ajna, also called the brow chakra, eye of wisdom, and inner-eye chakra—the chakra that governs intuition

Chakra 7:    Known as the crown chakra, sahasrara, the vertex center, or the thousand-petalled lotus—the chakra that governs cognition and spiritual awakening

The chakra system provides the essential energetic framework for gaining insights and awareness into your defenses and specific areas of need.

This guide to achieving Hot Confidence is the first of two books in a series, structured in chapters that follow the chakra system. This first volume, Hot Confidence, builds your strong foundation, taking you from your illuminating first chakra to the lustrous jewel of your authentic, powerful self in your third chakra.

Your journey from mini-me to magnificent continues with the second book, titled Heart and Soul of Confidence. You’ll start with a celebration of your right to be unique, spontaneous, and powerful. Your adventure will advance along the rainbow bridge through your heart all the way to your crown center (the seventh chakra), where you’ll discover how to fully engage your increased awareness and wisdom.

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LAY OF THE LAND

Chapter One of Hot Confidence is an invitation to explore your choices. In Chapter Two you’ll learn about self-sabotage and positive self-talk and evaluate your current levels of confidence and self-esteem. Chapter Three guides you through the skills of accepting self, change, and others and also explains the skill of being present. Your exploration of your purpose and path on Earth begins.

Chapter Four addresses the Five Foundation-Shaking Fears—the primary threats to self-confident living. Chapters Five, Six, and Seven explore the principles of the lower chakras and how they relate to the practical aspects of our lives (including survival, action, and commitment). Here we will look at issues like sexuality, reciprocity, creativity, empowerment, and physical well-being.

Specifically, in Chapter Five we’ll examine the first chakra’s role in establishing the foundation for happy, fulfilled living. Here we will also discuss the essentials needed to set up your Confidence Columns. Once you’ve found out how to establish solid self-trust, you’ll be ready to step through the gateway to your individuality, activating your attraction engine (the second chakra) in Chapter Six. Here we’ll explore essential polarities, and you’ll find out whether you dare to be hot (and why that’s important). Chapter Seven examines the role of the third chakra in generating self-esteem; you’ll discover how to diffuse shame, clear your anger, and acknowledge your triumphs.

Moving Forward: Shine Your Light brings the message of this book home and challenges you to move forward into a fabulous future, blessing the world with your unique vision and message. We’ll explore the doable next steps required to compose your life from a place of Hot Confidence and lightness of being.

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YOU CAN CHANGE ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE TO

Years ago I held a belief that change was difficult and sometimes impossible. I know differently now. Many people I have met and worked with believe that change takes time. I have learned that we can change anything we elect to, and that it can happen at lightning speed. I’m talking about lasting, sustainable change!

What this means for you is that however low you are feeling, however much you experience yourself as unworthy or not good enough, you can create change for yourself. You can be different. Your transformation can be faster than you ever imagined it could be. What it will take is a decision to make the change and a commitment to the proven process.

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MAKING THE MOST OF THIS BOOK

At the end of each chapter, you’ll find a section called Pivotal Points. These are practical exercises—action steps—that will help you change how you feel and how you relate to yourself. Doing them is important! Change does not come about by chance, and techniques don’t touch lives if they remain locked in a book. Making your life magnificent requires your action and commitment.

I strongly encourage you to write down your thoughts, experiences, and feelings in a dedicated journal so you can track your progress from mini-me to magnificent. Go to www.HotConfidence.com to download your free Hot Confidence Workbook. In the workbook you’ll find worksheets that match the Pivotal Points for each chapter.

Whether you use the Hot Confidence Workbook or a purchased blank journal or both, do your writing in a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted, at a time when you won’t feel rushed. Have a glass of water nearby, and get comfortable. Reflection and inspiration occur in quiet moments. We need to make room so they can find us.

In most cases, reading the chapters in the order they are written is the best way to engage this book. The chapter sequence is designed to open a deep, rich connection with your core self. Complete all of the Pivotal Points as you finish each chapter and before you move on to the next.

Alternatively, you can dip into this book by selecting the chapter that has the most relevance for you, to top up and tone your self-confidence. When the ever-unfolding process of life deals you curve balls, challenges, and tough situations, you can return to the exercises and concepts offered in this book, over and over again. Every moment is an opportunity for renewal. Continue applying the tools you learn in this book until they become as automatic as breathing. Then you’ll have reached the level of mastery.

As you work the Hot Confidence program, you will develop your awareness of your confidence level and will know how to set your dial to suit your desired outcomes. Self-confidence can be learned. You only need to decide that it’s time to become the person you’ve always aspired to be and open up the hidden potential that has always been within you. It’s a decision, that’s all. Once you have made that choice, your life will start to change in ways you never imagined.

Have you arrived at the fork in the road where all things can be different from now on? You get to choose.

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THE LOST PROPERTY BOX

"Begin doing what you want to do now.

We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment,

sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake."

~ Sir Francis Bacon

Y ou have to choose. It’s life or death. Whatever you decide, get on with it, girl.

Alison looked directly at me, her grey-blue eyes reflecting total non-attachment, her lilting Scottish accent ringing in my ears. Nadine, it’s up to you.

I knew she was right. I was neither eating nor drinking. I was sick to my soul. It was crunch time.

Something moved me to reach for my ceremonial drum. I stumbled into my healing room, where my beautiful, painted drum had rested untouched for at least five months.

Weak though I was, I smudged my room with white sage, offering prayers of gratitude for the life and love I had known, for my family, for the countries I had seen, for the clients who had meant so much to me. I offered thanks for the farm, for the healing centers I had established, and all of the wonderful experiences there. I thanked deeply for the joy of having known what it felt like to be on my true path and purpose, and for the privilege of helping so many people.

My prayers felt like messages of goodbye. And, in hindsight, they were: goodbye to an attitude and a life that was to be shed, like a tired old snakeskin.

The fragrant smoke inside the room was thicker than the swirling mist outside the window. I called in my sacred circle, comforted by the familiarity of the ritual, welcoming my spirit guides, guardians, and angels known and unknown to me, to be present.

I set an intention to accept whatever I found, graciously and with love, in the knowledge, in the knowledge that the answer that came to me would be for the highest good of all. I gave myself over to the journey completely.

The drum and my hand melted into one with the regular beat. I have no conscious recall of slipping into a deep trance.

When I came to, the setting sun was casting its magic across the valley below. Autumn light in New Zealand has a very special quality. I watched the valley below