20 Day Devotional Road2Freedom: life series, #1

By ANGELA THOMAS THOMAS

20 Indidivaduals form various background sharing their journey to overcoming Suicide Attempts.  Our desire is to educate,empower and encourage individuals to walk in purpose according to the word of GOD.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AAALAC & ASPIRING AUTHORS MAGAZINE LLC
• Release date: Oct 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393365853

Book preview

ISBN: 9798682504312

Edited by Dr Sonya R Gray

For questions , interviews or speaking engagements, please feel free to contact  AAALAC or Aspiring Authors Magazine 803-757-6090 or

P.O. BOX 2031 Myrtle Beach SC 29578

[e-mail]

Angela Thomas Smith 

aka

Queen of Collaborations

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All 14 of Angela Thomas Smith prior books can be found on amazon.com

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AAALAC@2020

all rights are reserved by AAALAC & authors of project

Book edited By: Dr Sonya R Gray

This book is dedicated

to all those that have attempted suicide or has lost someone to suicide.  Our hopes are that you will find comfort and peace in knowing that others have been right where you are. We survived so we can share our journey.  I pray this book is a blessing to everyone that picks it up,

May God bless you.

YOU

ARE

NOT

ALONE

Road2FreedomCo-Authors

Angela Thomas Smith 

Chaundra Gore 

Karen Slaton Kennedy

Valerie Harrison

Tyler Bulter

Dr Sonya Gray

Amy Sutton

Harriett Patrick Barron 

Shannon Spruill

Kashinda Marche 

Road2FreedomCo-Authors

Irene Spencer McRae 

Tamara Lytch

Fredrick Beaty

Jacquline Goodwin

LaDonna Marie

Sophia M Cooper

Loria Cox

Danielle Harrell 

Author D. N. Miller

Milagros Romero

Day 1 Angela Thomas Smith

Scripture:

Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Topic:

God’s plans for your life is not always your plan.  Understanding the difference. 

APRIL 13TH, 1991 WAS the very 1st time I attempted to take my on life.  My body was so numb I had no feeling everything in me was gone.  My mom had just died 5:15am and I did not know what was going to happen to me.  I was so upset with God I did not want to be here anymore and how was we going to tell my brother our mom is gone.  My dad and granny picked me up from hospital and we drove to SC State University to get my brother that was the longest ride I had every taken.  I remember going into the gas station and stealing  a bottle of Tylenol.  I went into the bathroom and took the whole bottle; I fell asleep and woke up my brother was in the car we were almost back home and yes; I was still alive.  God’s plans were not for me to die but to live to tell this story.  At that time, I thought no one cared or would have missed me.  Now I know different; Sometimes we go thru things that are not meant for us but the journey we must go thru to be able to witness to someone going thru what we went thru.  We get of track sometime but God’s plan for us is his plan and it shall come to pass.  Do not get weary in well doing,  faint not....... It is time to shift into your purpose Do not let your past determine your present and your future.

Prayer Starter

Father I thank you for this opportunity to come before your throne.  Lord I ask that if there is anything not like you or contrary to your word remove it right now Lord hear my prayers...................

Day 2-Chaundra Nicole Gore

Scripture:   Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house

of the Lord forever. KJV

Topic:  Yea Though I Walk Through

OFTEN, WE WALK THROUGH life and STOP when the devil is on our heels or when life’s

challenges weigh us down, but the scripture clearly says, yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death My valley was sexual molestation at a young age, domestic violence, sexual perversion and lust, identity crisis, marriage without God, the death of two sets of twin babies, abortion, married to a man that resembled my father’s good and bad qualities, drinking alcohol, serving my country and leaving my babies, getting promoted and leaving my family, dealing with my husband cheating and lying on me, dealing with an absent non-custodial parent,  unforgiveness, anger, discrimination, and my exit from the military just to name a few. See life will hit us but instead of reacting, we need to respond with the sword of the spirit which is the

WORD of GOD. The very first versus of the scripture tells us that the Lord is our Shepard, we shall not want. Everything we ever need God provides. We get mixed up chasing things we want and not what God says we NEED! We shall not want for any good or beneficial thing, but we will never know that if we do not develop a relationship with God. I went through life chasing what I wanted and not what God wanted me to have. We must go through challenges so God

can teach us what his want is for our life, which is his WILL for our lives.

Being molested at an early age caused me to develop faster than I should have sexually. I did not ask family member to perform oral sex on me, but he did. Little did I know that very act would send me into a life craving oral sex and wanting every man to do it the right way and when they did not, I had to teach them. See this planted a seed of sexual perversion and lust within my life and I thought if a man could perform oral sex on me that he loved me. But wait! Why did I equate that to love? See my family member told me he loved me every time he told me to shhhhh! Be quiet and do not tell nobody. He told me he loved me every time he ejaculated on the bed after performing oral sex on me. So, there is was a bad love seed had been watered and began to grow in my life until I found Jesus. This caused many seasons of anger, pain, mental dysfunction, and love in all the wrong places because I was searching for that feeling but could never get it again.

Every relationship I was in had some form of domestic violence in it. I also equated domestic violence to love because it was what I saw. I listened to my father tell my mom that he loved her and me, but he exhibited behavior that was not corresponding to love, but he always provided and made sure we had what we needed. That is exactly what many of the men in my life did for me. They were there for me in some way shape or form, or at least what I thought was love.   My mind was unstable after my father was killed in Chicago and so it sent me on a journey through life which I call an identity crisis. I grew up watching my father take care of me   and providing for me, but I also saw an alcoholic angry black man that hit my adopted mother,  stressed her out, lied and cheated on her.   They   say women look for their dad in men and that is exactly what I got. The charm and love got me hooked, but then when a person gets comfortable and they got you, the real person shows up. I did not deserve any of it, but I got it because I never consulted with God about my relationships or my marriage. I was living life on autopilot.  The pain from the loss of a family member is exceedingly difficult, but to lose my children at nine months was unbearable. It