The Art of Deliberate Distraction

By Elaine L. Orr

THE ART OF DELIBERATE DISTRACTION
AND...
A BONUS
Falling Into Place, a heartwarming novella to help you distract

Is your life way too hectic? Are you concerned about people or events in your orbit? Welcome to the
21st century -- especially in the time of COVID-19. Sometimes you just can't turn off your swirling thoughts.

That's the time to practice the Art of Deliberate Distraction.

Deliberate distraction is recognizing something you cannot control or fix and consciously taking positive action to divert your thinking to something more positive. It doesn't mean you avoid problems or duck responsibility. It means you know when to channel your thoughts or actions to areas where you can do something, or to time to simply chill.

Practicing deliberate distraction won’t eliminate problems and it is not permission to ignore things you could do something about. Deliberate distraction is not medical advice or counseling, simply thoughts of a reformed worrier. Or partially reformed. I think worry may be an innate trait we need to learn to manage.

Deliberate distraction offers a way to consciously refocus your thinking – if only for a few minutes at a time – so you can feel more even keel as you handle life. This book will explain the concepts further and offer suggestions for putting them into practice. Take a look at the topics in this short piece.

THE ART OF DELIBERATE DISTRACTION
How to Start
Try to Get Folks in Your Orbit on Your Team
THE CRAFT OF OVERCOMING WORRY
Criteria for Taking Action
What About the Really Big Stuff?
Final Thoughts on Worrying
GET BACK TO DELIBERATE DISTRACTION
What’s Next for You?
RESOURCES AND LINKS
FALLING INTO PLACE – a novella

• Language: English
• Publisher: Elaine L. Orr
• Release date: Nov 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005668396

Elaine L. Orr

Elaine L. Orr writes four mystery series, including the thirteen-book Jolie Gentil cozy mystery series, set at the Jersey shore. "Behind the Walls" was a finalist for the 2014 Chanticleer Mystery and Mayhem Awards. The first book in the River's Edge series--set in rural Iowa--"From Newsprint to Footprints," came out in late 2015; the second book, "Demise of a Devious Neighbor," was a Chanticleer finalist in 2017.The Logland series is a police procedural with a cozy feel, and began with "Tip a Hat to Murder" in 2016 The Family History Mystery series, set in the Western Maryland Mountains began with "Least Trodden Ground" in 2020. The second book in the series, "Unscheduled Murder Trip," received an Indie B.R.A.G. Medallion in 2021.She also writes plays and novellas, including the one-act play, "Common Ground" published in 2015. Her novella, "Falling into Place," tells the story of a family managing the results of an Iowa father’s World War II experience with humor and grace. Another novella, "Biding Time," was one of five finalists in the National Press Club's first fiction contest, in 1993. "In the Shadow of Light" is the fictional story of children separated from their mother at the US/Mexico border.Nonfiction includes :Words to Write By: Getting Your Thoughts on Paper: and :Writing When Time is Scarce.: She graduated from the University of Dayton and the American University and is a member of Sisters in Crime. Elaine grew up in Maryland and moved to the Midwest in 1994.Her fiction and nonfiction are at all online retailers in all formats -- ebooks, paperbacks, large print, and (on Amazon, itunes, and Audible.com) audio in digital form. Paperbacks can be ordered through Barnes and Noble Stores as well as t heir online site.Support your local bookstore!

Book preview

The Art of

Deliberate Distraction

Or When to Wiggle Your Toes

Elaine L. Orr

Lifelong Dreams Publishing

Copyright 2020. All rights reserved.

Learn more about Elaine’s Cozy Mysteries

and Family Histories

www.elaineorr.com

https://elaineorr.blogspot.com

@elaineorr55

All rights reserved.

Copyright 2020 by Elaine L. Orr

Library of Congress Preassigned

Control Number (for paperback edition)

2020923039

Table of Contents

PROLOGUE

THE ART OF DELIBERATE DISTRACTION

How to Start

Try to Get Folks in Your Orbit on Your Team

THE CRAFT OF OVERCOMING WORRY

Criteria for Taking Action

What About the Really Big Stuff?

Final Thoughts on Worrying

GET BACK TO DELIBERATE DISTRACTION

What’s Next for You?

RESOURCES AND LINKS

MORE BOOKS BY ELAINE L. ORR

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

FALLING INTO PLACE

This novella is Elaine’s favorite of all the books she’s written. She hopes you’ll let it distract you from swirling thoughts.

PROLOGUE

The Art of Deliberate Distraction has been in the works for decades. In fact, I purchased an ISBN for a paperback in the 1990s and started on an ebook in 2011. I didn’t write more than a couple thousand words, perhaps because I distracted myself by doing other things.

The truth is, I didn’t want to appear glib in the face of someone’s overwhelming life events. If that’s you, I wish I had a magic wand for you.

I also didn’t want to present The Art of Deliberate Distraction as a panacea for all things. And I have no professional training in helping people. Gosh, should I write this?

What I do have (thanks to my parents) is a lifelong commitment to support others.

Some people with a similar commitment can devote time and money to making our planet – and the people who live on it – better. I am routinely in awe of Bill and Melinda Gates. They could own opulent homes on twenty-five luxurious islands, but they spend much of their time on public health and education.

I don’t have much money to give, but I do have a knack for presenting complicated concepts in an understandable form. Maybe that will help you.

I decided I didn’t need to write a book. I could write something shorter. Why write this piece now? You can guess why – COVID-19. My immediate and extended family have faced challenges, and many others have faced more. I felt sad and thought I might be able to use those feelings to share some ideas with others.

When I saw my primary care physician’s staff for a check-up, they suggested I talk to their on-staff counselor (remotely, of course). I did that a few times, and it helped refocus my thinking on matters within my control. I needed to give myself permission to be sad and move forward.

The last comment I made to the counselor was that I’d had the Deliberate Distraction project in mind for a long time and needed to write it. She loved the idea.

So, here we go.

First, a word on what deliberate distraction is not. Practicing deliberate distraction won’t eliminate problems and is not permission to ignore items you could do something about. Deliberate distraction is not medical advice or counseling, simply thoughts of a reformed worrier. Or partially reformed. I think worry might be an innate trait we need to learn to manage.

Deliberate distraction offers a way to consciously refocus your thinking – if only for a few minutes – so you can feel more well-balanced as you handle tough events. You don’t need an expensive vacation, new wardrobe, or season tickets to your favorite college basketball team. Those things are fantastic, but you can’t do them anytime, anywhere.

You can choose to divert your negative thoughts with deliberate distraction. This discussion shows you how.

* * * * *

Exactly what does wiggling your toes have to do with all this? A few years ago, a dentist made a mold of my teeth, which involved putting some gross goop in my mouth and letting it set. I have a high gag reflex, so near the end, I started to gag. He came over, and as he began work, said, Wiggle your toes. Thinking it had to do with some relaxation reflex, afterwards I asked him why he told me to do that. His response? It’s a distraction. It kept you from focusing on gagging. Whatever it takes.

THE ART OF DELIBERATE DISTRACTION

Deliberate distraction is recognizing something you cannot control or fix and consciously taking action to divert your thinking to something more positive.

You might worry unconsciously or spend time thinking about an issue or problem (yours or someone else’s) because you truly believe your thought process will lead to a solution. Generally, the time spent thinking is not likely to change the issue or problem.

If you’re like me, you snack a lot. Then you have to buy new jeans.

Other things being equal, you can only change your thought patterns if you do so on purpose. Why should you bother to try? For starters, if you are not thinking or worrying about what you cannot change, you could do a lot of other things.

• Have more time for hobbies or activities you like

• Feel the weight of the world lift from your shoulders

• Accomplish more each day

• Spend time with friends or family

• Learn something new

• Take a walk (shopping malls are open when it rains)

• Play a sport

• Exercise

• Read a good book

• Watch a DVD or streaming service

• Play a video game

• Organize a closet

• Plan a rummage sale

• Walk the dog or pet the cat

• Feel more content

You can add to the list.

How to Start

Practicing deliberate distraction isn’t precise, but there are some ways to begin. First and foremost, you have to want relief from worry. If you say you can’t do that, act as if you can. Your mind can change as your behavior does.

Worry can be a comfort. You feel as if you are doing something about an intractable problem. Worry is also a great excuse not to do something else. How can you write a progress report at work or prepare a nutritious meal if you are worried that your child will be suspended from school for actions on the school bus yesterday?

Do you want to feel frozen? Perhaps you find it easier, even if you don’t recognize that’s what you’re doing. Thinking that through could help you get started.

In essence, you start by being mindful of your feelings and whether you really want things to change.

1. Worry is a choice. Resolve to reduce it.

Humans are creatures of habit, and many habits are learned when you’re very young. You don’t realize you’re absorbing the world around you. If you grew up in a household where conversation centered on what’s wrong in the world, you could be more critical of your surroundings than, for example, someone whose family emphasized the good in other people.

You don’t have to be stuck in a worry mode or with a negative attitude. In twelve-step programs, the first step is to admit you have a problem and are powerless over it. (Powerless in the sense that you can’t solve everything on your own.) Perhaps recognizing your lack of control over some aspect of your current situation should be the first step.

Of course, some issues will remain on your mind. If someone in your family is ill or you think you’ll be laid off, you are massively concerned. But do you need to focus on such things every waking minute?

I’m suggesting you give