Searching For Values: A Grandfather's Way

By Buddy Wagner

A composite of stories and essays discussing various values; some are religious in nature. Written to my grandchildren to encourage them to consider these values. Could be used as discussion starters for youth or adult groups. Some thoughts are purposefully controversial to stimulate thinking. Religious folks who like to think may find this book especially enjoyable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Buddy Wagner
• Release date: Apr 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476332949

Buddy Wagner

Buddy Wagner is a National Certified Counselor and a National Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a graduate of Mississippi College with a Bachelor's Degree in Latin and the University of Mississippi with a Master's Degree in Community Counseling and a PhD in Educational Psychology. He served as Director of the Counseling Center at Mississippi College from 1986 to his retirement in 2009. He continued to teach in the Counseling Psychology Graduate Program at Mississippi College to 2018. He taught Techniques in Group Counseling, Techniques in Brief Therapy and Special Studies in Hypnosis. He and his wife, Sheila, live in Clinton, Mississippi. Between them, they have five children and six grandchildren.

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Searching For Values: A Grandfather’s Way

Buddy Wagner, PhD

Published by Buddy Wagner at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Buddy Wagner

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my six grandchildren: Cassidy, Karley, Abby, Kennedy, Noah and Macie. May it be a blessing to you.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Something Worth Doing

Playing It Safe

Coloring Inside the Lines

When I Repaired the Dripping Faucet

Skunk Episode

Case of the Missing Sleeping Bags

Having Enough

Born Good

Living As If Today Were My Last

What Are the Questions

Making Decisions

Power Corrupts

Consequence of Freedom

Beauty of Sight

Hurts Me More Than It Does You

Running In The Wrong Direction

Patriotism and Ethics

Pageants

Indifference of God

Friends Are Wonderful

Returning Home

Secret of My Failure

Psychological Benefits of Exercise

Remembrances of Death

Love/Hate Relationship

Must I Answer Every Question

God Is Like

Addicted to Religious Highs

Evangelism - The Jesus Way

Immorality of Goodness

How Do You Know That’s My Urine

Letter Based on Psalm 45

About the Author

Introduction

I have written this book for you, my grandchildren. Most of you are too young to read it or understand it at the present time. However, I hope that as you grow and develop intellectually, socially, physically and spiritually that you will read it. The lessons of some of the stories and essays are easily understood, while others are more obscure and left to interpretation. My intention is to encourage you to think about these issues and to recognize the importance of them. I am not as interested in your agreeing with me as I am in your drawing intelligent conclusions. I hope that I have not been too preachy but have written in a way that will stimulate you to think and will motivate you to become all that you are capable of becoming.

I have a grave concern for the moral condition of our country. My desire is to confront you with some important moral issues. There is a moral aspect to everything we do. Thus, all that we think, do, feel and say is important.

I also hope these writings help you know your Grandbuddy better. I love you and wish the best for each of you.

Something Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Poorly

All of my life I have had drilled into my head, if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. As a young boy I would hurriedly do an assignment at school. I can hear the teacher now, Buddy, something that is worth doing, is worth doing well. Come back and do this over. I would hurriedly mow the yard so I could go play. Buddy, come back and mow it again. You missed some places. You were in too big of a hurry. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I had a paper route and some mornings I would miss some porches and the paper might land in the flower bed or in the yard. My boss would come along and say, Buddy, you did a poor job today. You missed some porches. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. Go back and put those papers on the porches.

Having had this drilled into my head throughout childhood and adolescence, I swallowed it hook, line and sinker as I moved into adulthood. Everything I did had to be done to perfection. I always had to do my best. Whether it was running a race, cleaning house, or preparing to teach a class, it had to be done to the best of my ability. I had to go full speed all the time.

Then one day a colleague returned from a conference and shared with me a concept presented at the conference. If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. The point the speaker was making was that we shouldn’t wait until we have perfected something before doing it. If it’s worth doing, then we should do it even if we can’t do it well.

Later, I was discussing this idea with some friends and they pointed out that they didn’t have the energy to always do everything well. Sometimes they did things mediocre or poorly. As I began to understand what these friends were saying, I realized that the adults in my childhood meant well but had given me some bad advice.

Thankfully, I no longer must do everything well. I’ve been rescued from the slavery of perfection. The chains have been removed. I’m free!

Playing It Safe Is Riskier Than Taking Risks

My son, the old man told me, life can be played in two ways. You can play it safe or you can take risks. I’ve seen people play it both ways. I’ve seen both ways win. But everything considered, I’ve seen more people, who take risks, win than I have seen those, who play it safe, win.

He seemed to be a wise man. He had a glow about him that indicated that he was a winner in life. How have you played it? I asked.

Both ways, he responded. Sometimes I’ve played it safe and sometimes I’ve taken risks.

He had a gleam in his eyes that showed me that he wanted to tell me about his life. I was eager to hear what he had to say, so I said: Tell me about some of your safe and risky decisions.

Without hesitation he began: When I was a child I had a sister eight years younger than I. When she was two, she contracted polio. It was a serious disease back then. We never thought she would live but she was a fighter and she never gave up. When she was eight she needed to go to Memphis for some corrective surgery. We lived on a farm and my parents couldn’t leave to take her. I was sixteen years old and had never been to Memphis. I was frightened thinking about going but I knew I had to take her. This surgery might mean that my sister would be able to walk normally. I went to my parents and told them that I wanted to take her to Memphis. They discussed it and with much reticence they agreed. The two of us went to Memphis on the train. We managed to find the hospital and she had the surgery. It was successful; my sister is able to walk. But more important than her walking, this experience bonded us together and we have a love for each other that is stronger than any sibling love I’ve ever seen. I took a risk and it paid off.

I was enthralled by the story and marveled at the