The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

By Lena Kovadlo

Life for Ashley Miles can't get any worse. Her parents are divorced, she can't find a job, has no boyfriend, and is stuck living with her mother in a house by the cemetery. Things suddenly start to change and her life starts going in the right direction. Just when it seems like everything is finally going her way, it all comes crumbling down and she is back right where she started. It seems as if she can never have the life that she's dreamed of. She feels like giving up... Will she be able to pick up the pieces and get her life back on track? Find out as you unlock The Secret Life of Ashley Miles.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312384002

Book preview

The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

The Secret Life of Ashley Miles (a novel)

Lena Kovadlo

Copyright © 2014 by Lena Kovadlo

Book cover design © Lena Kovadlo

This book is a work of fiction though it stems from personal experiences of the author.

All of the material contained in this book is the original work of the author. No part of this book may be used or reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any way or form or by any means electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise without the written permission of the author.

Published 2014 by Lulu Press

3101 Hillsborough St.

Raleigh, NC 27607

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-312-38400-2

Books by Lena Kovadlo

Pieces of Me

Soundtrack of My Life: Volume 1

Soundtrack of My Life: Volume 2

Diary of a Crush

Treasure

Melodies of the Heart

A Crimson Tide

The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

Chapter 1

Though Ashley Miles was only nineteen-years-old, she preferred to live anywhere but the three-story brick town house she shared with her mother, Sarah, located in the heart of Staten Island’s Richmondtown neighborhood. They had moved into this house after the passing of Ashley’s grandmother, Jane, and her father’s move to California when he chose to part ways with Sarah after over thirty years of marriage.

Ashley could see that her mother was happy now that she was living on her own without a husband causing a world war in the family. She noticed a bounce in her mother’s step, and a warm smile that had remained hidden when they had lived in a roach infested apartment in Brooklyn with her father still with them.

It tore Ashley up inside that her parents were no longer together; a part of her felt relieved, however, knowing that the never-ending battles their parents had shared, resulting in angry outbursts, verbal putdowns, and endless tears finally were over. Still, it made her wonder if the same ordeal was waiting for her in the future when she finally met the guy of her dreams.

Ashley felt strange living in this new house. She could no longer hear her father’s familiar heavy footsteps shake the floor as he walked into a room, or the front door slam with a thunderous roar as he left the house, or his loud voice vibrate in the air as he argued with Sarah.

Ashley could hear ghosts whispering in the silent night. She could hear the wind howling, even if the leaves on the branches never moved an inch. The night was never quiet and Ashley had trouble falling asleep in a house that was surrounded by endless tombstones looming in the distance. Sometimes she would toss and turn. Sometimes she would stay up for hours until her heavy lids finally closed and she entered the adventurous world of dreams. The day didn’t bring her much comfort either and she felt death all around her as she remained inside the four walls.

The only thing that soothed Ashley and enveloped her in a bit of happiness was her recurring daydream she escaped to often. When she closed her eyes she was transported to a small, cozy apartment near the boardwalk. The endless ocean, under a light blue sky, brushed with streaks of white, stretched out before her. Overhead birds sang beautiful melodies in rhythm with the waves hitting the giant rocks below.

Ashley loved being lost in that dream. It comforted her and made the future she pictured in her mind seem within reach.

Today she was sitting by the window, hands propping her cheeks, lost in the familiar dream… Being in her world of escape she didn’t hear Sarah peek through the doorway and so didn’t respond. It was only when Sarah lightly touched her shoulder that Ashley came out of her reverie.

Honey, Aunt Nina just invited us over to her house. I told her we’d come.

Mom, do we really have to go? asked Ashley.

She wasn’t very thrilled about going anywhere at the moment. She wanted to remain in her room and daydream some more.

No. But your cousin Jake and his friend Andrew will be there. It will be fun.

Hearing Andrew’s name instantly changed Ashley’s mind about staying at home. She jumped out of bed and started rummaging through her closet trying to pick out what to wear, throwing unwanted clothes into a pile near her bed.

So does that mean we are going? said Sarah, laughing.

Yep, replied Ashley, with much excitement in her voice, as she found her outfit – a pair of black leggings, and a loose silver top that made her feel pretty and brought a smile to her face. There was no way Ashley would pass up the chance to see Andrew; not in this lifetime.

Ashley stood near the door to her cousin Jake’s bedroom unable to bring herself to go inside. Andrew Hart was there and the sight of him made her weak in the knees. She could not believe that Andrew was mere inches away from her. He might as well have been miles away since her feet were glued to the floor unable to guide her into the room.

Ashley noticed the light coming through the window reflecting off Andrew’s slim, well-toned body, which was covered in tight fitting jeans and a black t-shirt. His wavy blond hair fell across his face, making him look mysterious. Ashley wanted to slide her fingers through the soft locks and uncover the hidden blue eyes that she yearned to get lost in.

When Ashley’s big brown eyes melted into Andrew’s, an invisible connection formed between them. She noticed Andrew frozen in place, probably sizing up every inch of her. Her slender frame, long legs, and dark brown hair that fell in waves over her shoulders were definitely a sight to behold since Andrew couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Ashley had a crush on Andrew and wondered if he felt the same way about her. She thought he was into tall blond girls with big pouty lips and a plump chest that resembled the size of a basketball – something she didn’t have, nor ever desired.

So are you going to come inside? Or are you just going to stand outside the door like an idiot? asked Jake as he passed her on his way out of the room. You’ve been standing there for over a half an hour.

Was I really standing there that long? No wonder Jake thinks I look like an idiot… she thought to herself.

Yeah, I am coming, she said, her cheeks turning beet red, as she made her way through the door.

She sat down on the edge of the couch, trying not to get too close to Andrew. Though there was enough space on the couch between them, Ashley started feeling uncomfortable. Her eyes were no longer staring directly into his. They were now focused on her shaking hands that she had placed on her knees without even realizing what she was doing.

Being around Andrew made Ashley very nervous. Sometimes she stuttered when she talked to him; other times she found herself talking too quietly, making it hard for him to hear what she was saying. On occasion she would turn into a klutz, knocking things over or bumping into furniture or into an open door. It was embarrassing to say the least and she hoped that none of this would happen tonight.

For a few seconds the room was silent and Ashley didn’t know what was going to happen. She couldn’t open her mouth to speak. She hated the silence but was unsure of what to talk about. Her mind drew a complete blank. She just sat there waiting for Andrew to be the first one to start the conversation.

Andrew looked over at Ashley and a smile spread across his face. So what’s been going on with you? he asked. Haven’t seen you in a while.

Ashley sat there for a few seconds unable to speak. Finally, after what seemed like ages, she took a silent breath and said, Nothing much has changed since the last time I saw you. I am still living with my mom. I am still without a job. And I can’t move out on my own. Basically, I have no life… Not to mention that I am still–

Ashley wanted to add that she was still single but couldn’t get those words to escape her lips. Everyone around her was paired up with someone but she was all alone as usual. She deserved to be happy, to have that special someone in her life, but this wasn’t the case at the moment. Seeing everyone around her so happy, so in love, left her angry and also in tears. She couldn’t stand it anymore.

You’re only nineteen Ashley. You have plenty of time to move out.

I know I am only nineteen but there’s no way I am going to live with my mom in that damn house by the cemetery. Besides I want to have my own life, live by my own rules, and as long as I live under my mom’s roof that is never going to happen.

You have a point there Ashley. I guess you have to move out then. I can help you look for a place, if you want.

Finally Ashley felt herself relax, which surprised her, and was able to look up at Andrew as she continued her conversation.

Thanks Andrew. That would be great. Thing is I can’t move out until I find a job. And things are not going great in that department. No one wants to hire me. And the last thing I want to do is flip burgers all day… So until I find a decent job I am stuck.

Hang in there. I think the reason no one wants to hire you is because you have no college degree. That’s very important these days. Have you thought of going back to school? asked Andrew.

I have thought about it. It’s just that I’m afraid of screwing up, afraid of failing. Besides, even if I go back to school there is no guarantee that I will find a job, let alone a good one. And then there is this issue with the money… I can’t exactly afford it.

Ashley almost started crying but managed to contain herself. The last thing she wanted was to breakdown in front of Andrew.

You will not fail Ashley. You’ve got to believe in yourself, said Andrew.

I want to believe in myself but right now I find it hard to do.

If it makes you feel any better, I believe in you Ashley.

At least someone does, said Ashley, feeling a bit better. A small smile now appeared on her face.

I don’t want to sound like your mom Ashley but if I were you I’d go back to school. Better chances of finding a job this way. You can always get a loan if you can’t afford to pay the tuition.

Yeah, you are right. I will have to sit down at some point and browse for affordable schools that have writing majors.

Ashley was a poet and a writer and so writing was the only thing that she wanted to do for a living. It was the very essence of her and the one thing, along with music and singing, that she could not live without.

That sounds like a good plan, said Andrew.

Andrew shifted on the couch so he now sat closer to Ashley. Being inches away from him caused Ashley to blush. She was sure her face was now a shade of hot pink and hoped Andrew wouldn’t notice.

So what’s new with you? asked Ashley, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Well, like you, I am still living with my parents. I don’t really mind it, but it sure would be good to have a place of my own. Just wish I could afford the rent.

Don’t you have a job at your dad’s liquor store?

Yeah, I do. I’ve been working there for a few years now. But I am tired of spending my days surrounded by alcohol. Besides, he doesn’t pay much. No way can I pull off the rent on that kind of salary.

So what are you going to do?

I am planning to go back to school. I am waiting to see if my loan application went through. Not sure what I’ll major in yet. I really want to major in marketing but finance is probably the better option. It’s more secure. So I’ve been told anyway.

That’s great! I hope it works out for you.

Thanks Ashley. If you want, we can get together sometime and browse through colleges, said Andrew.

Sure. I would love that, said Ashley, smiling.

And she would love that indeed. Anything to be close to Andrew, to breathe in the essence of him, to feel connected to someone other than family.

It’s a date then, said Andrew, laughing.

I guess it is, she laughed back. She was really looking forward to seeing Andrew again and hoped it would happen very soon.

Ashley could not stop thinking about Andrew and their scheduled date.Weeks passed but there was no sign of Andrew. He never called or emailed. That left Ashley devastated and very disappointed. Perhaps Andrew changed his mind. Perhaps he didn’t want to go on a date with her. Or maybe he had a girlfriend, though she never saw him with a girl before.

It was hard for Ashley to believe that a guy like Andrew would be single. It just didn’t seem possible. Still, she secretly hoped that he was.

Ashley was tired of being alone. She yearned to have a special guy in her life – one that would not dump her too quickly as had happened to her time and again in the past. She secretly hoped that Andrew would be that guy, but it felt like that was never going to happen because Andrew had bailed on her. Yes, they were only going to look at colleges, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Andrew would be in her presence and now that was never going to be.

Chapter 2

So how did it go with Andrew? Did you have a good time? asked Sarah.

She and Ashley were sitting in the kitchen enjoying steaming cups of hot chocolate.

Nope, I didn’t have a good time–

Sarah interjected before Ashley could go on further.

Why? What happened?

You didn’t let me finish mom. Why do you always interrupt me in the middle of a conversation? said Ashley with a bit of annoyance in her voice. Anyway, as I was about to tell you… I didn’t have a good time with Andrew because Andrew and I never got together.

Oh no! I’m sorry sweetie. I am sure there must have been a good reason for this.

Yeah, mom there was. He is clearly not interested in me.

Ashley got up from the chair and went over to stand beside the window. She didn’t want Sarah to see the tears starting to fall down her face.

I am sure that’s not true. He’ll come around. You’ll see.

I doubt that will ever happen.

It will all work out in the end. Trust me. In the meantime why don’t you meet other people? My co-worker told me the other day that her nephew is looking to meet a nice girl and I passed on your email to her.

As soon as Ashley heard that Sarah had set her up with another guy the tears vanished and were replaced by anger. Ashley turned around so she could face Sarah and look her straight in the eye.

Mom how could you do that? You know I hate being set up with guys. It never works out, yelled Ashley. She hated when Sarah interfered in her love life. No matter how many times she had asked her to stop Sarah never listened.

It might not have worked out in the past, but that doesn’t mean it will not work out now. Give this guy a chance. You have nothing to lose. Besides it’s just one date. No harm in that now is there?

"I guess there is no harm in it, but it’s just going to be one date, if he even contacts me at all. So don’t go planning anything or dreaming about a wedding… Oh and you better promise me not to set me up with anyone else ever again. And you better