Love Me...Leave Me Not!

By Nimmu Rani

Ashley after being deemed an adult at 18 years by the government; arrives at a charity home for women in New Haven Connecticut. The home, helps women out of foster care to get career training and become independent. Being on the artistic side, Ashley is advised to meet Sam the Computer institute head in New Haven to get information on Graphic Design and animation. Sam falls for her without knowing her background. But as Ashley mistrust of men run deep, she manages to fly far away from him. But during the course of years feels that men like Sam are hard to find and in spite of resisting her feelings for him he had taken deep roots into her heart. She is willing to give up everything to get a second chance. But will Sam accept her?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nimmu Rani
• Release date: Aug 14, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301590384

Nimmu Rani

Nimmu loves to tell stories that speak to the depth of your hearts. A request to you readers to please write a review about the story and give me a feed back. I really appreciate it. You can also reach me at [e-mail]

Book preview

PROLOGUE

The journey to New Haven from South Boston took hardly four hours and Ashley was sitting by the window watching the trees pass by. Suddenly she saw the sun peeping through the trees as if playing peek a boo with her. She waited each time to see when she could get a better view of it but the harder she tried, it kept eluding her. But when she had least expected, the sun just rose up above the trees like a splendid orange spraying a blend of different shades of red and pink across the sky. It felt like it was a sign telling her that a new beginning was headed her way.

After many wrong turns maybe this place would give me the right directions. She thought to herself.

For a nineteen year old girl with only a bag of clothes and a few belongings, hope was the only thing that she felt she could hold on to.

With a slight smile on her face, she leaned against the window and felt the chill of the glass on her cheek and the bus rocked her off to sleep with its sway.

Within minutes she was back in her usual dream, but this time she was running through a forest. The same four dark shadows were chasing her; wading off all the branches and jumping over rocks she ran as fast as she could. She felt the cold wind on her cheeks and was perspiring profusely but she refused to give in. She knew who they were and her heart raced at the sight of them. Her only goal was to run as far away from them as possible. She managed to climb to the edge of a mountain and she was breathing heavily and was out of breath. Her lungs hurt and her legs were shaky. She turned back to see the shadows getting closer to her. Tears were stinging her eyes and she was filled with horror when she realized that she couldn’t go any further because there was a deep gorge below her. Fear filled every nerve cell of her body and she looked back at them and saw them with their arms stretched out and calling Come to me darling. Come to me. Trust me. I will not hurt you.

She looked down at the deep gorge again. She knew the gorge was less dangerous than these men. She looked into the gorge with hesitation and tried to muster her courage to jump. She saw a luminous body floating above the gorge and telling her Jump. Trust me. But she stood there hesitating and wishing she could just

evaporate like the clouds that hung around her. She held her breath and took the first step to jump in when she felt the strong arms of the shadow against hers. She froze and screamed Leave me. Leave me alone.

At the same moment the bus came to a halt and her head fell forward and hit the seat before her. She opened her eyes with a shock unable to understand where she was. Her hands were cold and she was sweating in spite of the cold air inside the bus and some people on the bus were looking at her.

She came to the realization that the bus had arrived at its destination but she felt she had a long way to go. She was in New Haven. The slightest of hope that she had felt, had vanished and she felt scared and nervous like a four year old going to school for the first time not knowing what to expect.

Chapter 1

The charity home that Ashley was heading to was in downtown and just walking distance from the bus stop that she got down. She entered the empty lobby with hesitation and looked around apprehensively. She could hear chatters and laughs of girls from the floor above.

She kept her bag down and sat down at the chair that was nearby hesitantly. Her head was throbbing as she hadn’t eaten anything since morning and she rested her head on her palm and hoped someone would walk out.

Excuse me. What can I do for you? Ashley turned around to see a woman in her late 40’s dressed primly and with a huge smile on her face.

Hi, I’m Ashley. I was sent here by Ms.Ellen Brown from Boston. She told me about this home and she gave this letter to be given to Ms. Sandra Evans. She hurriedly took out the letter that she had in her handbag.

I am Sandra. Yes I do remember talking to her. She got the letter from Ashley and read it. Then she walked to the desk and brought back a form and a pen and held it out to Ashley and asked her to fill it out and sat down next to her and spoke.

Ashley this home is for young women like you who are out of foster cares. We try to give them the opportunity to learn a skill of their choice, so that at the end of the year they become independent and can find a job with which they can sustain themselves. Ms. Ellen is one of our sponsors and she has written very kindly about you. So hope you will make use of this opportunity and make something of yourself.

Ashley nodded her head and looked at her apprehensively.

Ashley follow me, I will show you around this place.

Ashley followed her upstairs, to a huge hall in which around ten beds were laid out with a small cupboard besides each bed. Three girls were sitting on one bed and they stopped their chatter the moment they saw Ms.Sandra and stared at Ashley. Another girl was sleeping with her hand over her head and her face was hidden. But she noticed that she had a lot of tattoos on her hand and legs.

Ms.Sandra pointed to the bed besides the girl who was sleeping and said

Ashley you can take that bed and put your belongings in the cupboard next to it.

The bed was next to the wall and a big window was right above her bed.

Ms.Sandra also showed her the restrooms and the TV room where a small TV was placed at the corner and the dining area.

Lunch will be served at 12:30 pm and dinner is at 7 pm please come down when the bell rings. If you are staying out, we ask you to inform us before. She said in a robotic voice and left Ashley to get settled in her new place.

None of the girls made an attempt to talk to her. Ashley always found it difficult to start a conversation with people she didn’t know. So not knowing what to do, she lay down in her bed and pretended to sleep.

The bell that rang pierced through her consciousness and she sat up straight and looked around. The three girls had already gone down for their lunch and the girl besides her still hadn’t stirred.

She walked down the stairs hesitantly to the dining area. It looked just like the school’s cafeteria with food on one side and benches and tables on the other side of the room. The smell of food made Ashley’s stomach growl. The girls who had ignored her until then turned around and laughed at her. Ashley smiled weakly and wished she could run back to the safety of her bed.

Ashley sat down by herself at one of the tables and ate her food. Though the pasta and salad tasted good, she ate as fast as she could so that she could be at her place before everyone came.

When she was about to climb upstairs, Ms.Sandra called her again.

Ashley tomorrow the counselor will be coming to give you an overview of the different options that are available for you to study. So please come down at 10 o’clock.

Okay. She nodded and hurried up to her bed.

In spite of being shuttled from one foster home to another for the past ten years, Ashley always found it difficult to adjust to a new place and she felt uneasy and jittery.

At least until then she had adults and the foster care system making decisions for her. Since turning eighteen the government had deemed her to be an adult and here she was all alone in the big ugly world where she had only witness pain and suffering from a very young age and feeling scared like a little girl inside. Everything about this place was making her sick and everything about her future made her sicker.

Tears burnt her eyes. She turned towards the wall so that no one could see her face and she let those tears flow down her cheeks. They were her only constant companions.

In a while she fell asleep. When she woke up, the girl who had been sleeping all along stood next to her bed looking at her with her hands on her hips.

Hi, when did you take up this space?

I came in this morning. She answered timidly.

I’m Jackie, as you know I am your neighbor. She held out her hand to Ashley.

I’m Ashley. She shook her hands weakly.

Jackie planted herself on Ashley’s bed and started talking animatedly. Ashley noted that Jackie had a round face as cheerful as a cherub. She had curly brown short hair which had curled up to her neck and small eyes which were brown as well and a smile that almost reached her ears.

I just came in last week and I am taking lessons in carpentry. What do you think you will be studying?

I have no idea. I am to meet the counselor tomorrow. She spoke slowly and wondered all the while, how this girl could be so cheerful in a place like this.

Jackie spoke non-stop about her course and gave her the names of the other girls who were there and not as friendly as Jackie.

The bell rang and interrupted Jackie’s rambling.

Hey let’s go down. Saturdays are pizza nights. Do you like Pizza? I just love, love, love it! So let’s hurry down.

Jackie was the opposite of Ashley in every way. While Ashley was shy and reserved, Jackie was talkative and outgoing and funny. Ashley liked her immediately and felt a relief that someone took their time to talk to her.

They went down and ate the steaming hot pizza and Jackie introduced Ashley to a few other girls. After dinner all the girls huddled to the TV room, but Jackie and Ashley headed outside for a walk.

It was a warm and humid summer day in July and the fresh air seemed to uplift Ashley’s mood and she slowly started opening up and adding to the conversation now and then.

Ashley you know that we have to stay in this home for the rest of the year until we complete the course.

Ashley nodded her head.

I know it isn’t all that comfortable, but when we have a choice of being homeless or becoming independent I think I wouldn’t mind the little inconveniences.

Yep you are right.

But I hate that we can’t stay out for more than three days and we have to always be back to the home by 11pm. It makes me feel like I am a little kid.

Ashley smiled.

That night Ashley had the most peaceful sleep she had had in a long time.

Sunday morning most of the girls were still sleeping. Ashley woke up and got ready to meet the counselor. She felt nervous not knowing what to expect.

Jackie calmed her nerves by saying Ashley relax! I promise there will be no tests or anything, just another big questionnaire to fill and lots of questions from her. All the best.

The counselor walked in with a folder and she was wearing a red suit with a tucked in white shirt and gave a big smile to Ashley and shook her hands and introduced herself.

They sat down together and she made Ashley fill out a questionnaire just as Jackie had said and she looked through Ashley’s school reports. She saw that Ashley had done well in school and the only comments from her teachers were that she had to open up and be more social.

So what is the one thing that you would love to do Ashley? asked the counselor looking up from the reports.

Drawing. I love to draw. Answered Ashley in a meek voice.

Can I see some of your drawings?

Ashley handed her the notebook that she always kept with her in her handbag. Skimming through the pages, the counselor was astounded to see so much talent.

These are exceptional Ashley. Have you ever taken any lessons?

Ashley shook her head to say No.

Ashley, I can see that you are good at Math and exceptional in drawing. Are you interested in computers?

Not much.

Have you heard about Graphic Designing? There are different software that enables you to draw on computers. You can design graphics for brochures; websites or even learn animation. There is also the option of various fine art courses. But making a living after doing fine arts is a long process Ashley. So I would suggest that you go to the computer institute on Monday and meet Sam, the institute head. He will give you all the information on the computer courses that are available and you can see if any of it interests you. I feel that this will help you to be in touch with your artistic side while you make a living and become independent.

The counselor gently touched her hands and advised her.

Okay.Ashley nodded undecidedly.

This charity takes care of all the expenses related to your study for this one year, so all we ask is to make use of this opportunity. I will send these reports to Sam and let him know that you will be there tomorrow at 9’oclock. Okay. The counselor told her as she gathered her things up and got ready to leave.

Finally a glimmer of hope was setting in. Maybe this was her key to an independent life.

Chapter 2

Ashley walked upstairs to see Jackie walking towards her.

Hey how did it go? No tests as I said.

Yep you were right. Just a big questionnaire and a form, she has asked me to go to the computer institute tomorrow at 9 o’clock. Are there any local buses here?

Yes, there is a bus stop close by. We can go there and check the timings this afternoon. Then you are all set.

I guess so. But I am so nervous.

You’ll be okay. Don’t worry.

Yes I have to do it. No matter how tough the course is or crappy this home is I will stick it with for one year. I have to become independent. She thought to herself.

Then she took out her bag from the cupboard and looked through her clothes to see if she had anything decent to wear to the institute. She had one good pair of jeans and a black pant and she thought she desperately needed some tops to go with