Hope Fulfilled

By K. Lumpkin

"An edgy, intricately plotted psychological thriller...

Lumpkin’s latest sequel in Covering all Wrong[s] is a suspenseful and gripping novel about love, marriage, betrayal, manipulation, lies, and mental illness. For Elroy, life is good, especially as he is about to embark on a new journey with the lovely Lacey. But when Asha, his wife who went missing under mysterious circumstances years earlier and was presumed dead, returns, Elroy’s life turns upside down. He has no option but to stay in the loveless marriage. With Lacey gone from his life, he is barely trying to come to terms with the new realities of his life when a series of sinister secrets about Asha come to surface. But that’s just the beginning of his problems. With his loved ones’ lives in danger, he must find a way to set things right. Lumpkin is good at drawing utterly humane characters. She beautifully portrays Elroy’s inner turmoil as he struggles between his yearning for Lacey and doing right by his faith, astutely illustrating the subtle variations and manifestations of his self-doubt. The best part of Lumpkin’s writing is her exploration of her protagonists’ dull goodness, which despite the difficult circumstances stays intact. Readers will root for Elroy who takes Asha’s betrayal in stride, courageously facing the pain, the devastation, and the grief that accompanies it. Lacey is equally compelling. A gallery of secondary characters, pivotal to the plot, is infused into the narrative simultaneously: Nina, Alysha, Candy, Jafari are among many others who will leave their mark on readers’ minds. Asha as the sole antagonist draws little sympathy from the reader. Asha’s backstory that forms the major part of the narrative is skillfully written, keeping the reader invested. The conflict in the plot not only comes from the sinister conspiracy that Elroy and Lacey find themselves entangled in but also from their human anxieties over their personal values, identity, and faith. Equally effective are Lumpkin’s delicately woven themes of love, faith, integrity, duty, revenge, redemption, and soul-searching into the narrative. Her understanding of the complicated framework of romantic and marital relationships and of humanity’s resilience in the face of impossible circumstances provides this story both authenticity and depth. Throughout, Lumpkin explores the complexities of marriage, love, and relationship, questioning all the while how love can make a person go through so much. This is as much a fast-paced domestic thriller as it’s a story of love, family ties, sacrifice, second chances, and self-discovery. Un-put-downable" (The Prairie Books Review).

• Language: English
• Publisher: K. Lumpkin
• Release date: Jul 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005318581

K. Lumpkin

About the Author K. Lumpkin began writing and illustrating books at the age of 4. Currently, she is a wife and mother of two adolescents who make the simplest things in life exciting . K. Lumpkin and her family have lived in Latin America and various states in the U.S. When not homeschooling and learning with as well as from her teens and when a breath can be caught, she enjoys the pleasures of her early years — writing, reading, dancing and painting.   Also by K. Lumpkin K. Lumpkin is also author of the FIRE Series (Fire, River, and Beauty), all of which can be found on Draft2Digital, as well as the stand-alone psychological thriller Nothing in Time Separating.  Her latest title and the sequel to Covering All Wrongs is Hope Fulfilled. From The Author Dear Reader: I hope you have enjoyed Covering All Wrongs and that you will enjoy just as much its sequel, Hope Fulfilled.  I have put my heart into both novels with you in mind.  Please feel free to reach out to me at [e-mail]. May God richly bless you and yours. K. Lumpkin

Book preview

Hope Fulfilled

Copyright © 2022 by K. Lumpkin

Smashword Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this book are purely the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is entirely coincidental.

Discover other titles by K. Lumpkin:

Fire

River

Beauty

Nothing in Time Separating

Covering All Wrongs

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 10:12).

Chapter I

The sun rays baking Elroy’s closed eyelids finally prodded him out of his deep sleep. He had overslept. Would Lacey forgive him if he turned over and got just five more minutes? It seemed he had been dreaming about her all night, but seeing her would be better. No turning over. Just a bit more time. He’d only take a shower. Breakfast could wait. He could take her up to Seattle and they’d eat outside at the vegan restaurant that sold the tastiest waffles and lentil burgers with fries that he had ever had. Weird breakfast for only what would probably be 9 or 9:30 in the morning but he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. What they’d do after? Didn’t matter.

Had five minutes passed yet?

A light arm slung over his arm and across his chest. Elroy’s eyes shot wide.

Did the baby wake up yet?

In one move, he jumped out of the bed and pivoted, landing in a partial crouch and staring at the person who had addressed him. Elroy stumbled backwards and instinctually reached for the top of the dresser with his left hand. His heart crushed in on itself and stopped beating. He couldn’t stop gawking at her.

Roy, what’s the matter? Asha sat up in bed and swung her legs over its side, anxiety cast across her brow. What…you look different. She started to walk toward him and he thrust both hands forward.

D-don’t! He rubbed his eyes vigorously. He hadn’t woken up yet. Some bizarre dream had its grip on his mind.

His mother’s padding steps were in the hallway. The doorbell? Had that been the doorbell?! Lacey!!

Asha had stopped abruptly. Roy, what’s wrong with you?! She looked frightened.

Mom! He needed his parents. Stay here! he insisted, his tone boorish but he was only scared out of his mind.

He slid out of the dream into the hallway. Smiles fell from both of his parents’ faces.

Where’s Nina? he asked in hushed, panicked voice. In the bathroom, probably getting ready for the day. The bell sounded again and his head whipped toward the sound. What was he going to do?! How could Asha be…? Maybe she wasn’t really in there.

Mom, Dad, what I saw, who I saw in the room. His voice was shaking all over the place and their anxious frowns couldn’t have been deeper. Both his parents were in good health. He didn’t want to shock them, but if they reacted… They’d be okay. Ultimately anyway.

El, what is it? his father asked.

Just come with me. But be prepared. Was he crazy? Who could be prepared for this?

He opened the door and felt them come in behind him. Lord, have mercy. It was his mother. She had not taken His name in vain. It was her shocked prayer. Elroy managed to shut the door behind them. The last thing he wanted to do was allow Nina to see her mother before he figured out what to do. Her mother?! The bell sounded again. Lacey, or whoever was making the early morning call, had been waiting very patiently. No. The last thing he wanted to do was have to face Lacey.

Asha hadn’t moved but as his mother took measured steps toward her, she now did and sunk into her hug. Mom, what’s wrong with everybody? Why do you and Dad look so different? Where’s the baby? She actually didn’t look so changed. Her hair might have been a bit longer but other than that… What was wrong with him? Lacey could be standing on the other side of the door!

I’ll be back. Keep her here.

He ignored Asha’s protesting voice but listened at the door as he caught his mother telling her to sit down then saying with trembling voice, Asha, where have you been girl? You disappeared 17 years ago.

Elroy didn’t wait for her reaction. He went down that hall, into the living room into where the sunlight spilled, and as if in suspended animation, opened the door.

Vaguely he heard Nina calling him but he didn’t turn. He wondered at Lacey’s blush and the three heads that so rapidly turned. Then he looked down. He was wearing no shirt. Thank the Lord for the chill last night or he would have been in his boxers instead of sweats.

Your shirt Dad. He was holding it on his arm. How did that get there? A memory that seemed distant of his father throwing it to him came to his mind.

I-I’m sorry. He buttoned with shaking hands but Nina helped him because he wasn’t matching buttons with holes. A bit of a coy smile appeared on Lacey’s lips. ‘Oh, Lacey, darling, you won’t be smiling soon.’

He told them they could turn around and walked outside. Lacey, Alysha, Candy, and Nina walked down the steps. Maybe you should get ready and we can wait out here, came Lacey’s suggestion. She pivoted on the sidewalk, as did the others. Then her eyes locked on his and instantly filled with fear. She met him by the curb then reached up her trembling hand for his cheek. El…what is it?

He marked each of their expressions. Fright. Silence reigned.

Until the ear piercing scream from inside. What had Mom told Asha? Footsteps tumbling inside and untold commotion, he charged up the steps then rushed in his speech while his hand yanked the door shut.

Lacey, Nina, girls, I woke up…and Asha was there. The pause had almost been negligible and his speech so rapid that he wondered if they’d understood him. Lacey wasn’t moving. Her eyes, nothing. His daughter and the young women he saw as daughters remained on the sidewalk with their mouths as if gulfs. Nina was beginning to tremble and he wanted to reach for her. But she was too far and someone was pulling at the door. He resisted the pull. Lacey. Had she heard him?! Why wasn’t she moving?!

Asha, just give him a minute, his father called. They must have told her about the four outside.

He hadn’t wanted to tell Lacey the way he had or to have a reason to tell her at all. Her almost indiscernible nod let him know that he shouldn’t keep fighting Asha. Let go of the handle and I’ll open the door. He forced calmness into his voice, as the memory of how she could be became present in his mind. Although uncommonly sweet overall, a raging bull would be more pleasant if she was really crossed and she was too unpredictable for him to chance what she might attempt to do to them. That’s how she was before anyhow.

He felt the release. He opened the door but his eyes were fixed on Lacey whose back was now to him. Candy and Alysha rushed to each side of her. He held his breath. If he could see her face, maybe he could detect what she was thinking or what she was feeling. The worry on all the girls’ faces made him want to join her with everything in his being. Her dark hair cascading in front of one shoulder, she made that semicircle and faced the four who had remained on the tiny porch. He heard Asha whisper, Is that her? Amazement filled her voice. Elroy didn’t know if she were referring to Nina or to Lacey. In either case, he understood.

Asha walked past him and his guard immediately surged. Elroy rushed after her. Lacey stepped forward and reached out a hand. About a foot away from her, he looked at her in awe. How could she do that? How could she maintain her poise? I’m okay, she whispered then told the girls to get in the van. Nina, looking as a frightened puppy, accompanied them. I’m Lacey, she offered as she held out her hand to Asha. Standing as the vertex in some angle between them, Elroy’s heart hammered, as he observed them both. Asha’s facial expression was pained and she did not offer her hand. Lacey had no readable expression. She was in shock. It had to be shock.

His own head was pounding. Asha, give us 5 minutes.

What do you mean? she snapped.

You’ve been gone like two decades! The least you can do is give all of us 5 minutes! He hadn’t meant his vocal quality to come out so harsh. Please.

His mom and dad came in behind her and his mother rubbed her shoulder. She nodded. He didn’t even bother to watch their return. Instead, he piled into the rental van with the four.

Mom, I’m scared. He would have expected the last two words to be directed at him from Nina, but she only clung onto him with her head down. Candy had spoken. There was a ghost in the house. Of course, she was scared. All of them should be terrified.

There was no dry eye but Lacey’s tears came slowly then sprung as if from a fountain. His did, too. They were supposed to be family. Alysha said she didn’t want to lose Nina.

You won’t lose her, he choked out. They were sisters and nothing nor no one would change that.

‘But I will lose them.’ He couldn’t be there for Candy and Alysha for advice on career, just plain life, or eventually marriage, if they wanted to come to him. There would be no long talks or barely any really talk anymore. No surfing, bike riding. Nothing.

And Lacey. In their time, he suggested that the woman in that house had been dead for years. Maybe they weren’t married any longer. Lacey shook her head. Subtly but he knew. Her meaning and that he was fooling no one. Not even himself. He was a married man. ‘Lord, how can this be happening?’

You act as if you’re unhappy she’s alive.

He realized Lacey was right. All those horrid things he’d thought happened to her, maybe none or few of them did. I am glad she’s alive, but couldn’t she have waited a few weeks to show up? He threw up his arms in agitation then placed them securely around his daughter who had remained silent and still clung onto him with her head down. He wondered what she was thinking and feeling. If he was giving her any real comfort.

Later, that night when all had gone to bed except the two of them, he would find out from her that she had felt extreme guilt for being virtually devastated to see the woman who gave birth to her. The mother she dreamed of as a little girl. The one she no longer wanted. Grangeline had been like a second grandmother. Miss Lacey was like her mother. She had sisters in Kihei who were as her aunts. And, of course, she had her grandmother and aunt in Washington. Through physical blood and through Christ´s blood, there were plenty of women who filled her life. Nina didn’t need another one. For what? To ruin her dad’s happiness with Miss Lacey? To break up the family they were finally going to have? Oppressive guilt is what she felt.

He knew none of this while they were in the van and did not suppress his own dismay. Heck, she decided to disappear for all of Nina’s life. Why couldn’t she stay away longer? The rage Elroy was feeling came out in his voice and Lacey shook. I’m sorry Lacey. He knew she knew he wasn’t angry with her. He wasn’t even angry with Asha.

I just don’t understand. Jafari saw her body. But it was mutilated almost beyond recognition, he recalled. The prints? Alysha had asked this but he knew no details. So dazed and distraught back then, he was able to take in few details. Her ring, the wedding ring with the special inscription he’d finally had enough to purchase for her, is the article that haunted him for more than a year.

What he would have done to have her back in those days. Now he only wanted her gone.

Lacey…what are we going to do?

She swallowed and swiped a hand across her flooded cheek. Candy, Alysha, and I are going back to Maui. She took a deep breath and with surprising vocal strength declared, It’s more than 5 minutes. You and Nina need to go inside.

Elroy sneered as he looked back at the house. Five minutes, he whispered. His eyes fell on Lacey’s beautiful face. Just like an angelic little girl.

Nina hugged her sisters. All three were bawling. He hugged Candy and Alysha. Elroy was sure his heart was tearing from the inside out. He stepped out and helped Nina. His eyes were drawn to Lacey who was buckling up then staring straight ahead as the vehicle ran. Was this the last time he would see her? Would he never be able to hold her again? She wasn’t going to look at him and out of a strength he pleaded God for, he took his eyes off of her. Lacey surely could feel him looking at her and she didn’t need him to hurt her worse.

He slid the door closed and he and Nina watched, hand in hand, as they drove out of view. The young lady he had at his side, the one who was still his little girl, sobbed into his chest and he held her, unable to control his own tears. They were going to have to return to that house. He just didn’t know how to control his emotion and didn’t know if she could manage hers enough to do it.

Elroy wasn’t sure how long he and Nina stood on that sidewalk hugging each other. In the past, he would have feared that Asha would have thought he’d spent all that time with Lacey. Presently, he didn’t care at all.

When they walked in the house, Asha jumped up from her seat on the couch between his parents. Then she stood there, her entire body giving signals that she wanted to approach Nina. Nina, the absolutely darling girl that she was, glanced up at her father then took slow steps toward her mother.

Are you Nina? Asha whispered with a tenderness that brought guilt to Elroy for his hereto lack of concern for her. She must be so confused. Nina nodded slowly. Asha reached her hand out to her. I’m so glad to see you again.

Nina went past the hand and hugged her. Elroy doubted it was because she wanted to but more out of compassion for Asha. The woman was so obviously trying to mute her body language of visible trembling and eagerness in her face for the embrace from the daughter she had not witnessed grow up. Then Nina began to sob again. It’s okay Nina. I’m sorry I was gone so long.

As Asha rubbed her back, Elroy felt a slight sense of gratitude that she didn’t seem to get the reason for Nina’s tears.

A minute later, Nina had calmed and was asking her if she had any clothes. Asha’s eyes widened. I don’t…well, I don’t know. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll see?

They returned with the verdict. Nothing. Only the pajamas on her back. So…huh? What was she wearing when she returned last night? Assuming she had come in the night.

This, Elroy’s mother asked her. The last thing she remembered was coming to bed after nursing Nina. Her eyes told Elroy what else she remembered. They had made love that night, something that was later held against him. Then she disappeared.

Nina suggested that the two of them go out to purchase some clothing for her. You can borrow an outfit of mine. It should fit…well sort of. Both were tiny but in different ways. Asha smiled at her gratefully. She had apparently already washed and was currently wearing a bathrobe.

Elroy would have loved to see Lacey in a bathrobe. To smell her after a shower. To just be with her at all. Controlling his jaw from quivering so firmly that it felt as if he were being prepped for dental work, he asked them all if they’d excuse him. He needed to shower and dress.

El rushed into the bedroom, snatched clothes out of the suitcase he’d packed, and fled into the shower. Even after viewing how she handled things with incredible maturity, he didn’t want to leave Nina. He didn’t know what battle she was dealing with inside and being face to face with Asha probably didn’t help. Yet he couldn’t stay in that living room one more second without crumbling in front of them. Beside, his parents were there and they’d be there for Nina if she needed them. They had called out to him that they were all going to go shopping. That was a relief. It hadn’t even registered that the two might be alone. If Asha were to disappear again, Nina couldn’t be with her. That would just completely take him over the edge.

Elroy let out a ragged breath. He heard someone enter the bedroom. After all these years, how could his mind recall the sound of Asha’s footsteps? She probably needed to change but she was always quick with that. He shaved in silence and barely managed to hold it together until he heard the front door slam.

Crumble. That’s exactly what he did in that shower. El had not cried since two years after Asha’s death. Her death. She never died. He hadn’t wailed as he was doing now even when his natural mother died.

‘Oh, Lacey. God, why aren’t we going to be together?!’ His heart and gut both feeling as if they were splitting in half, he crouched down on the shower floor and let his face fall into his knees, as the hot water beat on the back of his neck and puddled around him in his pool of despair.

Nina went back to Maui with Lacey, Alysha, and Candy the next day. El couldn’t believe he wasn’t on that plane with them. Asha wasn’t happy that Nina wasn’t going to stay behind in Washington but it made no sense to pay the fee because of another postponed arrival. His couldn’t be helped. Nina’s could. He and Asha never did see eye to eye in how to manage finances. If she found something was important enough, that thing trumped frugality. In this case –a girl not seeing her mother for her entire life and now getting that chance—maybe she was right. But Nina had too many things to get done and if she’d waited this long, he thought she could wait a little longer until he and Asha figured out what they were going to do. When alone with Asha, he told her not to make Nina feel bad. She seemed to hide her true emotions as much as she could.

The day before the flight, the day when Asha had reappeared like a phantasm, his sister and brother-in-law returned from a trip to Brazil. They had, of course, met Lacey a couple of times in Maui, but he had been so glad that they could spend real time with her, now as his future wife. Schedules conflicted but not so much that they wouldn’t have that last minute reunion for maybe even several hours that very afternoon and night. Now the color of the reunion would completely change and Lacey would not be present.

He met Samantha and Brian in the kitchen as he heard her fussing at their parents, something uncommon to his ear. Nina had gone out with a cousin. Asha was…well, he didn’t actually know where in the tiny house she was, but he was sure to try to explain quickly about their return family member as to decrease the shock. As if that were even possible.

When her eyes fell on him, Sammi’s glowing smile took over her face and she gave Elroy the greatest embrace. Then she broke away and hit him on the side of his arm. Not hard but there was a worry in her eye that made him wonder. Brian hugged him, too. He’d never done that before. His ears keyed into his sister’s complaint.

What is wrong with you people? Does anyone keep on their phone? Actually, with hope to escape the high technology world for a little bit, he only had his cell for emergency and had not once turned it on during their stay. You two never check your voice mail, she scolded their parents. Your voice mailbox is full, by the way. And she couldn’t reach Nina which El knew was because she got a new phone after her last one had died.

Elroy cut her off mid-sentence. Sammi, Brian, you won’t believe who we’ve seen today. Oh, real smooth.

What was the fear he saw in their eyes? His parents’, which reflected their unnerved and wrought emotions, he could understand. But theirs must have been because of the terror he wasn’t able to hide.

Asha? his sister gasped in a soft whisper.

H-huh? Elroy jerked his head but there was no one behind him.

How did you know? Dad voiced El’s question. Surely the question of their mother as well.

That’s what I’ve been trying to get in touch with all of you about.

Brian told them that they had seen her in San Paolo, Brazil just two days before. When Sam walked up to her…her face was blank, his voice came out spooked. No one was sitting and everyone was on edge. Not blank exactly but she clearly didn’t recognize us. She didn’t even speak the same language.

Elroy’s throat went dry. Her accent was perfect, Samantha confirmed. She spoke Portuguese and this lady who was nice enough to translate told her what I’d said.

What did you say? It was Mom. Everyone whispered, probably so she couldn’t hear.

I asked her, ‘Asha, what’s happened to you?’ She looked as if she had no idea who I was. I said, ‘It’s me, Sammi. Your sister-in-law. Where have you been?’ Really, I don’t know what I said. I’ve never been so shaken but relieved in my life. Relieved? She was relieved. Of course, she was.

She looked different, Brian commented. A little.

Sammi added, Her hair was longer.

Yeah, it is. Elroy motioned to under one shoulder.

No, Sam explained. Much longer. And she looked like she fit in perfectly there. Then why didn’t she stay?

El hadn’t voiced his question but his sister must have read it in his eyes. And Lacey? He flinched and grimaced. She lovingly rubbed her hand down his arm and held his hand. You saw Asha and Lacey knows that? He nodded as his face quavered without reserve. Where is Lacey now? Elroy opened his mouth, but he couldn’t speak. Always so sensitive, Samantha’s eyes began to fill. I’m so sorry brother. She paused. …When you saw Asha, did she recognize you?

Their parents filled them in. She came here?! Brian’s voice screeched and he and Sam both looked at them in horror. Where is she now?

Here somewhere, Elroy voiced succinctly and clipped.

Sammi slumped into a seat and her husband sat next to her. Both faces had grown pale. She looked up at her brother with tears almost blocking his vision of her beautiful eyes. I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t gone up to her—

Samantha, don’t do that. Elroy didn’t see this as her fault at all.

Sammi jumped.

Well, sister, I’m glad to see you, too. Asha’s voice, cheery but with a tinge of concern, made Elroy’s hair stand on end. Cat like, she had a way of suddenly appearing. He laughed out loud and all marked him with worried expressions. Sure, he might be losing it a bit, but the thought of her suddenly appearing in the room as she’d suddenly reappeared in their lives was comical to him. Lacey would have found it to be, too. His laughter cut off abruptly.

When the two quickly recounted to her what happened when they saw her two days earlier, Asha told them she had no idea what Samantha and Brian were talking about. I don’t speak Portuguese. The last thing I remember is being in this house with Elroy and our little baby. A chill passed through her and Elroy tried his best to muster compassion. He felt numb. If I didn’t know all of you as well as I do, I’d think you were playing some trick on me.

Funny. He understood exactly how that felt.

Dissociative fugue disorder. Elroy vaguely recalled hearing Candy mention this in their time together in the rental van. She read avidly on mental disorders. And physical. Brian’s father was a psychiatrist. This was his diagnosis, although he was surprised Asha had stayed away so long.

Something really traumatic must have occurred to her for her to forget her life and take on another identity. It wasn’t worth trying to find out who she was those years especially with the over the top anxiety she displayed when El suggested this, clinging onto him and begging him. Now his ice began to thaw and the guilt pressed as if he were trapped under an unmoving structure in the middle of an earthquake. Asha probably had been viciously attacked in that park and barely escaped with her life. He hadn’t been considering her at all. Just like when he first met her, she was as a scared little girl. The diagnosis turned whatever confidence she held onto when she first arrived to the woman he had known in just over 24 hours. The woman who stuck to him as if he held the essence of her life in his hands.

Chapter II

Lacey didn’t know what she would have done without Nina’s updates to Alysha. She didn’t say much. Only Dad isn’t coming home yet. That was enough. To have to face him…or him and his wife at the Kihei church might have just paralyzed her. As it was, she was nearly crippled with fear that she’d have to face them one day. That day could wait.

The girls had told Greg. Lacey…I’m so sorry. This just isn’t fair. You deserve so much better than this.

She’d smirked automatically. I’d be afraid for God to give me what I really deserve. Lacey mentally meant the words but there was no feeling behind them. There was no feeling behind anything. Dazed, she was without emotion.

The anesthetic wore off two weeks after her return to Maui. Elroy was back. And his bride was with him.

Lacey didn’t know if she could do anything other than search for another church but Angelina told her there was no need. El wasn’t going to put her in an uncomfortable position. Uncomfortable was an understatement. Jaws of death crushing her trachea might be more appropriate. It wasn’t fair for him to have to give up the Kihei church or fair to the congregation who he’d served faithfully as a deacon all these years. Lacey wished she could tell him that. She wished she could tell him anything. The constant longing for him was making her crazy. By the grace of God, she was somehow functioning and she thanked Him for her daughters and her friends, including Tamara, who by their mere presence helped her do that.

Lacey was walking outside of Tamara’s home with her on a Thursday night after another cry session when her feet gripped to their tracks. ‘Elroy!!!’ He halted momentarily then continued with a careful stride from his car, now no longer obscuring Asha’s petite frame. Her baby brown eyes illuminated by the light in front of Tamara’s home held a lighter shade and skittered from Lacey to the house owner and back. Lacey’s gaze fell to the floor and her heart that had stilled abruptly suddenly accelerated as it banged against the walls of her ribcage. El’s stunned but brief look seeped into her soul. His love for her, his pain for their separation, all of this she read in that split second. Had Asha seen the same in her?

Oh, hello Elroy, Tamara greeted cheerfully. The brother will be so glad to see you. That’s what she called her husband as a title instead of the pastor. Lacey, just at the moment that it was removed and she started to sway, realized that Tamara’s hand had been braced against her back. She asked them to give her a moment and whispered to Lacey, Remember what we talked about. That is exactly what she had been focusing on and sure enough, she hadn’t collapsed with this jolt to her heart. She hugged her but Lacey just hung limply. And when she was able to lift her arms to return the embrace, the hug was over.

She gave Tamara a weak smile with her good night then walked forward with her eyes straight ahead. Good night. Her voice sounded distant and they might not have even heard her. She would look at neither of them. A hand clasped around her arm and she began to tremble. She could hear Tamara’s chatter. Then she and Elroy were behind the closed doors of the home.

Asha stepped in front of Lacey. I don’t know what to say to you except…I never meant to cause you pain. Lacey hugged her lips together and nodded quickly and repeatedly. The woman had to have faced so much trauma and must be so confused. She felt no anger toward her. Beside the tumultuous ping pong of jabbing pain she felt for herself, etched a corner of compassion for Asha.

Asha left and so did she. Her persecution wasn’t as Paul’s when he wrote it, but she was hard pressed but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair. Tamara, she whispered as she drove the long way home, I won’t forget. This tearing of her very being seemed even more brutal than the beating she received from Greg’s unfaithfulness. This time, however, she knew she’d survived. Bruised and never the same? Almost most definitely. But she’d survive nonetheless.

Asha was not Lacey. Elroy had to stop torturing himself with the realization. But she really wasn’t and he couldn’t escape that reality. Nina saw it, too. At first, it seemed like the two of them were becoming good friends quickly. Then Nina had to do something so insignificant one day. She had to study. The girl had limited her time with this trifle to spend time with her mother. Social life? That must have only existed when she was on campus. Then the gall to assert herself in that endearing voice of hers and admit that she had to study. Asha went cold. And Elroy’s blood turned cold at the remembrance. There was nothing he could say that resulted in a thaw to Asha so his focus was on trying to protect Nina. This he did by talking to her and letting her talk. To this, Asha simply ramped up a paranoia he had never witnessed. What were they saying about her? She knew both of them wished she had never returned.

With tears, Nina denied this and practically begged for her forgiveness. Nina, don’t you say another word, her father defended. She had nothing to be sorry about.

There was a fury boiling in him. Asha, you’ve suffered and are still suffering. Don’t take that out on our daughter for doing what she’s supposed to do. She’s not abandoning you by putting hours in studying.

Was that steam coming out of his ears? ‘Lord, how am I going to live with this woman again? Please help me to treat her the way You’ve called me to treat her and to feel something for her again.’ How could he have mourned so hard and his feelings now be so dull? Not dull. They didn’t exist beyond the normal he’d have for any human being. He could only guess that he’d mourned so completely that there was nothing there. But, of course, there was more. Lacey. She filled ever crevice of his previously pained heart and now, without her, the piercing was that more vicious.

After her first month in Maui, Asha got a job selling tour tickets. For El, this was a relief. Their schedules were such that periodically she was out of the house when he was there. Through mere determination, he forced himself to not purposefully put in clients when he knew she was home. Through the same, he shared nothing with Nina of his thoughts about her mother. He hadn’t figured them out for himself and he didn’t want to color her opinion. They did not speak about the three in Makawao either. Just as it was for him, it was certain that made no difference to Nina because they were likely ever present in her mind.

Work was a distraction. Before the trip to Washington, he delighted in everything God allowed his hands to do. Back in Maui, much of his passion had been zapped. But not completely. Construction and playing in the band were things he still enjoyed but being at the bed and breakfast is what he loved. Angelina and Thomas were there. And yes, it felt good to be able to help people feel better via massage, although not as good as previously. Nothing was as great as it had been before, but seeing the smiles that came to his clients' faces when he made them feel better did help him.

In a sense his work in massage was just as therapeutic for him as his clients. A means of relaxation and distraction for him. For Asha, it was just another thing she didn’t like. She’d been in Maui long enough to see it was full of beautiful women. All of them didn’t affect him because only one did. In fatigue, he’d just say, Asha, they’re just clients. I would never worry if you had a male doctor. He desperately needed help to be a good husband to her when he so desperately wanted to be someone else’s husband.

That someone, he discovered from Angelina, and her daughters were no longer going to the Kihei church.

What? Where are they going?

They’re searching. That is what he’d been doing, too, but Asha had been after him to take her to his church. There was not enough pressure in the world to make him hurt Lacey that way. Even if he could handle it, which he surely couldn’t, doing that to her was out of the question.

You and our girl might as well come back, Thomas voiced. He was right. There was no obstacle now.

Elroy had never been one for social media. Apparently Jafari still wasn’t. He began attempting to find Asha’s brother when they returned to Maui and his only potential lead after was blocked by the brick wall of his mind because he just couldn’t remember the guy’s name. Then one day, a month to the day of their landing on the Valley Isle, it came to him. Jafari’s partner’s name was Derin Carter. Gratefully, Mr. Carter, while apparently not enough of a social media fan to post anything other than every 4-5 years, was a business network guru. Every business it seemed after his long before retirement from the force.

Regardless, it took three grating weeks for him to respond to El. Was he certain that the woman he was living with was his wife? What type of question was that? El held his cool and waited to respond which was a good thing because Mr. Carter’s explanation followed. They found the body. Yes, El realized that, but he was the one who specifically said that it was almost unrecognizable. The DNA samples from her clothes and that ring must have made them certain that the body they found belonged to Asha. Derin Carter confirmed that might have been true but there was probably more. A case so cold, however, he didn’t remember all the details. Elroy was sure Jafari could never forget them.

He and his former partner had lost contact with one another about 10 years back, not that long after Jafari moved to New Zealand. New Zealand?! Not with a wife and kids. He’d divorced his cheating wife. Thankfully, they’d had no children. Elroy did not need to worry. As a former detective, Derin Carter knew how to find his old friend.

After another three weeks with no news, he stretched the possibilities and asked Asha if she wanted him to try to contact their mother. Maintaining her fingers on the page she was turning, she pursed her lips and looked at him sideways before sighing and returning to her book. El guessed the answer was an absolutely no way. Is there anyone he kept in touch with…? Ice cold glare, stand up, and walk into another room. Well, excuse me for caring, he muttered. Yeah, he needed a lot of help to love this woman again.

That evening, however, when he sat at a wooden table he’d constructed in the small rustic kitchen with the side of his face resting in his hand and elbow on the table, it seemed that the cold spicket had turned off. Asha came in from work, washed her hands at the sink and then sat across from him. He finished the last words of the passage then slowly closed his Bible, as his mind continued to contemplate and absorb what he’d been reading about peace. Now focusing on her, the sadness in her face moved him.

Asha, what’s—

Thank you for trying so hard to find Jafari.

He hesitated, as he searched her face but he could not detect the reason for her melancholy. …That’s no problem. I really want him to know that you’re alive. He’d want to know.

She nodded then looked off, as her voice came in a whisper. I know you do. I know you care because you love Jafari.

Well…yeah…I do, but I also want you to see your brother again. He continued to examine her features. Derin Carter had asked if he was sure Asha had returned. To ask her to go for a DNA sample, prints, or whatever they did to identify people these days would be to invite her to go ballistic. There really was no need. This woman’s memory of their past together, her life before meeting him, as well as her personality could not be duplicated. Perhaps the smooth coffee with a bit of cream complexion, honey brown eyes with specks of gold that were defiant at one moment then enamored the next, and the curling of one side of her upper lip when she spoke could be, but that personality of hers was one in ten zillion. At least as far as Elroy saw it.

His ears keyed in to her words. She’d remarked, You love Jafari as your little brother but you no longer love me as your wife.

Elroy’s breath caught in his throat. Asha…, he said hoarsely. He had no words but the ping that pierced his heart with the comprehension of the pain in those eyes that were now looking right at him made him wish that he did.

You’re in love with another woman. The corners of her lips dipped slightly and her chin quivered a bit. The twisting in his chest brought on by that simple sentence tempted El not to look at her. He needed to avoid the jab of guilt and pain for her pain so he could think clearly. Yet he was still looking at her. To do otherwise would be to confess guilt.

But what did he have to be guilty for? Lacey would have analyzed and pardoned. There was nothing else she could expect. For a wife to have been presumed dead for nearly two decades and to come back, it would only make sense that the wife would understand that her husband would have moved on.

But Asha wasn’t Lacey. Asha was Asha and she wasn’t doing anything to alleviate the weight of his guilt. She wasn’t analytical. She was emotional, something that had always been challenging but had also made their life together exciting. Elroy resisted the thought that he didn’t want excitement at this stage in his life. Not that type anyway.

What is she like?

Elroy frowned. Oh, no, Asha. You’re not going to do that. I fell in love with you because of who you were. Not because you were trying to emulate someone else.

A wry smile came to her face. But you’re not in love with me now.

Another stab yet this time the knife didn’t release out of the middle of his heart. Voice strained, he told her, I want to love you again. It’s just going to take time. Elroy, thinking on the words he’d just spoken to her, didn’t actually know if they were true. He hoped they were. Lacey would still be there. His feelings for her would definitely be there, but he might come to understand what it was to love two women at the same time, as she had loved two men for a good portion of her married life. Asha… He hesitated then placed his hand on top of hers. The tears made her eyes appear glassy. She’d been back two months and this was the first time he’d touched her. Maybe this was progress. He hadn’t been able to reach out to her before. Asha, I’m praying for you and for us. Let’s work together and see what times brings.

She gave him a soft smile, mostly weary but with a bit of hope. Hope. That’s what her name meant. He just remembered that. Things looked doubtful now but the tiny seed of hope seemed to start to bloom in him. Maybe he’d love her again.

El lay in bed not sleeping. He should have gotten in first. Whenever Asha was already in bed when he arrived, he always had trouble falling asleep. If he got there first, his body would succumb to the fatigue because he could trick his mind into thinking that he was alone. He had not wanted to be alone after Asha died. But she didn’t die and he still didn’t want to be alone. That made her being in the bed with him all the more difficult. ‘El, you call Asha emotional. Get a grip and be a man.’

Her hand rested on his bicep and a shiver went through him. Elroy never shivered. Good way to make her feel that he was trying to love her again. Not that he was forcing tender emotions. He was simply working overtime to push away the negative ones and trying to replace them with something positive. Exhausting.

Roy, she whispered. You asleep?

Tempted to play possum, he again fought against his desires and shook his head. He was too beat for conversation even if his body didn’t key in for the need for sleep yet.

Asha snuggled closer to him and rested her face in the arch of his back between his two shoulder blades, something that had always endeared her to him. Now…nothing.

Asha, he sighed, do you want to talk to me?

Mmhm. Her tone skittish, now he was concerned. He flipped over and she moved back enough to be outside of his personal space. What was wrong? Other than tonight, you haven’t touched me since I got back. Roy, I know you don’t have those feelings any more, but I do. Oh…no. She slid closer to him and put his hand around her waist. She was still tiny. His pulse ramped it up about 30 additional beats per hour then more when she slid her thigh in between his.

Elroy couldn’t do this. It had been so long. He belonged to someone else. His mind screeched to a halt then skipped backward. What was he saying? He didn’t belong to anyone else. Asha was his wife. Not Lacey. No matter how much he wished Lacey was the one lying beside him, she never could for as long as he had a wife. And he did.

A passionate current that he hadn’t felt in time that seemed endless surged through his entire body when she pressed her lips and body against his. And then he felt her skin. Insane guilt mixed with pleasure as they went back to what they had always known best.

Chapter III

I feel like I’m being slowly tortured.

Lacey had met Angelina at the home of a sister from their church. She was 90 years old and still made custom curtains. In Lacey’s opinion, Angelina could sew with the best of them, but she knew her time was limited. Thomas had just been released from dialysis three weeks ago, thank God, but he still needed her. While much better than anyone had imagined, he wasn’t quite well. Then there was the business and besides, Angelina probably would have supported the little lady just because she could. Angelina had a humongous and sacrificial heart. That’s why Lacey loved her so much. That’s why she was so grateful that she had suggested that they get together.

Now walking through Pāia, Maui’s Hippie Town, on this January late morning she felt the relief of being able to pour out some of her worries to her dear friend. A very tall man, probably of European descent, with waist length dreads swaying in the wind, gave them the peace sign. Both greeted him with an Aloha. In Lacey’s estimation, Pāia was for all types, from the so-called conservative to the progressive. Political radicals, health conscious, New Age, moderates…all strolled down the streets of the quaint, peaceful town. Lacey had learned and was learning that not one person could be put in a box. Some she had met and had known to be the most conservative in one sense were extremely progressive in much of their thinking and way of life.

She breathed in the clean, fresh air, watched the people move from one small shop to another, observed for the 3,000th time how rich the soil was to almost charcoal, and looked in the direction of Baldwin Beach. She couldn’t see it from the point of the hilled sidewalk she and Angelina now descended, but in her mind’s eye, she could paint the scene of El standing next to her while she leaned against the rock boulder. His mere presence kept her from crumbling that night. So had Angelina’s. Now she was leaning on her again because she could never lean on him again and because she now shared the depth of these worries with no one other than the Lord. Tamara knew what was going on. So did Angelina. But rehashing every emotion, that, she brought to God’s throne, sometimes prostrate and nearly always with the rawness of her soul. He wouldn’t tell her what was going on in El’s life, something she did not need to hear. Her friends would have to fight not to.

But God gives people other people to help bear one another’s burdens and this burden felt like a mountain on her back. I never know when she’s going to show up.

Do you think she’s trying to torture you? Angelina asked with angst in her melodic Sicilian voice.

Lacey shook her head. If it had been Veronica, her head movement would have been in the other direction, but that woman no longer had any effect on her. Asha looked as uncomfortable as she felt any time they bumped into one another. It’s just that the bumping is happening too often. I’m almost, no, I am afraid to leave my house. Lacey didn’t want to exaggerate but she had taken the time to count. In the six months since Asha got on the island and excluding the time at Tamara’s house, the two of them had run into each other 10 times. Angelina frowned and Lacey wasn’t sure if her friend considered that too many. By many people’s standards, maybe it wasn’t. But Maui wasn’t a small island and it wasn’t as if they came upon each other in Kihei. Lacey avoided that side completely. But don’t let her go to Ka’anapali, Kapalua, Lahaina, Maalaea, Wailuku, or Kahalui.

Angelina knitted her lips tightly together so that the skin that met the top formed ridges. I don’t like it. I’m not even sure that I… She stood still for a moment, closed her eyes, and sighed. Lacey, come, let’s sit over here.

They crossed the street and sat on a bench under a huge shade tree. You know I have a hard time holding my tongue. Lacey smirked and told her that she’d had no idea. Yeah, sure. That beautiful smile radiated a happiness that slowly waned as she looked at Lacey with a fatigue the latter didn’t understand.

With Veronica, I didn’t tell you my full opinion of her until after I found out what that floosy had done to you. A laugh spurted out of Lacey. Oh, she loved Angelina. She never knew what might come out of her mouth. Besides, it was just an opinion. You know, by how she looked and how she dressed. Okay, let’s face it, she was a big fat flirt. Well, not fat... She shook her head as if to dismiss something Lacey had not even said. You know what I mean. She did.

Asha, I don’t know the girl. El’s not happy though. A pain shot through Lacey’s heart. It wasn’t as if she’d want him to be celebrating not being with her, but the couple had reunited six months earlier. She had no desire for him to suffer and had to wonder why he was. This, she did not ask. Not that it mattered because Angelina, of course, shared the rationale. He cares about Asha, but it’s you he loves. Lacey couldn’t swallow. Angelina turned a little to face her. She’s the same person he loved before, maybe even nicer. Or humbled because of what’s happened, but she’s not the person he loves now.

A single tear slid down Lacey’s cheek.

Oh, Lacey, I didn’t want to make you cry. She paused and rubbed her hand. I know. What else can I expect? Tears came to her own eyes and Lacey wanted to hug her. She now thought she understood the fatigue. It sprung from her emotion for Lacey and for Elroy. Angry, furious, ready to choke the life out of someone, yes, she had seen Angelina. With tears? Never. I just hurt so much for the two of you. And for Nina.

Nina? Lacey gasped. What’s wrong with Nina? Lacey now suspected Alysha had told her nothing either because she didn’t want to worry her or because Nina had held back something for the first time in their entire friendship.

She’s… How can I say this? I actually like how Asha is with Elroy. I wish it were, well, you know what I’m saying. Again, she did. She wished it were Lacey instead of Asha. But she seems uncomfortable with Nina. As if she’s trying to… Angelina looked across the street then up, as if she were searching for the words. I don’t know. Maybe trying to force a friendship. She seems smart enough to realize that she can’t suddenly be Mommy after almost 18 years but she seems disappointed that she can’t be.

‘Disappointed’? Lacey echoed.

Sure. And I can’t blame her. But does she have to show it? Now Lacey frowned. Nina isn’t a little girl. It must hurt Asha terribly not to have the experiences of taking to her to a park, cleaning up bruises, hearing her little stories, all that stuff. I even had that with her. If she comes on a whim, though, and wants to go to the beach with her, well, that girl is in school. Angelina’s eyebrows knitted together fixedly and there were now no tears. Oh no. The Mama Bear was out. Watch out. "This is a horrible thing to say and that sweet girl would never say it to her. She just doesn’t have the time for her. Not the time she would like. I’ve seen the pout. Who is the adult here?

And I asked El about it. Yes, I did. Lacey held in her smile. You know, not trying to get in his business or anything, but that girl has always been like a granddaughter to me. Why should she feel guilty because her mother comes into her life when she nearly hits adulthood? She raised her hand as if for pardon. Now, I understand that poor woman must have gone through all types of trauma, but is that Nina’s fault? Just suck it up and be a grown-up!

Lacey smirked again. You have absolutely no thoughts on the subject, do you?

Angelina laughed that contagious laugh. It felt good to laugh with her. Even to cry with her.

She wanted to know how Lacey was going to handle the problem of bumping up to Asha. She loved how that woman expressed herself.

I guess I might just have to move. Angelina’s eyes and mouth widened in horror. Oh, don’t worry. I’m not that serious. Angelina’s expression softened but not completely. Really, Lacey giggled. I don’t know how easily Greg could find someone to sell or even rent the house to and I’m not up to trying. Although the house had long ago been paid off, there were taxes to cover and she didn’t think he’d want to turn it over to some bank, especially when a profit could be made.

Plus your credit scores.

Lacey shrugged her shoulders. There seemed to be a lot she and Greg still agreed upon and that was one. Any property bought would be done with cash. Angelina had forgotten. So, you see, from a practical standpoint, I couldn’t afford to move anyway. From a heart standpoint…this is our home. More than the place. The people. You, Angelina.

Now her guard visibly relieved almost completely and she hugged her younger friend. Lacey meant every word but she could sense that Angelina knew the thought was not completely out of consideration.

As they stood to find their vehicles and go their separate ways, she felt it would be dishonest if she