Escape from the Bean Nebula: A Choose Your Cruel Fate Adventure

By Mitchell Street

YOU are an Imperial soldier of unspecified age and dubious background. YOU now find yourself a prisoner of the fearsome Rebel Association. Before it is too late, YOU must find a way to escape the evil Bean Nebula. IT is the hidden Rebel prison camp whose name strikes fear into the organs of Imperial soldiers everywhere and whose leader is Chewbaccus. HE is a vile, ruthless opponent with a wide array of deadly weapons and body parts. Will YOU escape the Bean Nebula? Will IT mysteriously explode, along with Chewbaccus? Or will HE send you to A Cruel Fate?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 11, 2018
• ISBN: 9781387750368

Book preview

Escape from the Bean Nebula

A Choose Your Cruel Fate Adventure™

By Mitchell Street

BB

To Aloysius, Sebastian, Mortimer, Eleanor, Malloria, and Bartholomew

Copyright © 2016 by Mitchell Street

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First Printing: 2016

ISBN 978-1-387-75036-8

www.mitchellstreet.strikingly.com

The front cover is adapted from an image generated by the NASA Hubble Space Telescope.

Other Choose Your Cruel Fate™ Adventures

1. The Curse of the Monkey Paw

2. Island of the Lounge Lizard King

3. The Monkey Paw’s Curse

4. Secrets of the Pyramid Scheme

5. Pa’s Cursed Monkey

6. You Are a Tax Code Expert

7. Curse you, Pa Monkey!

Warning!! Do not read this book straight through unless you really, really like bizarre and fragmented narratives--in which case we leave you to your own personal Cruel Fate.

1

Bad luck. That’s what got you captured in the first place. Your parents were always going on and on about choices and consequences, but let’s face it, sometimes cause and effect just don’t add up. You get bitten by a wormp-rat; it removes that pesky wart you’ve been trying to get rid of. You help an old bounty hunter cross the street; he steals your wallet. You join the Imperial army to see the galaxy; you end up a prisoner in the dreaded and dreadful Bean Nebula. Who could have seen that coming? And so here you are, stuck in a cell between the haughty Countess and a very ripe Woukiee who has only become smellier since the incident that lost him his bath privileges.

Today, however, all that bad luck might finally be over!  When your Rebel guard finished changing your water and restocking your food pellets, he knocked his head on the blast door leading out of your cell.  With your cell door open, and the guard helpless, now is the time to seize one of a limited number of opportunities!  Do you attempt to escape alone or do you borrow your warden’s ring of keys and free one of your fellow prisoners?

If you decide to escape alone, turn to page 33.

If you free the Countess, turn to page 85.

If you free the Woukiee, turn to page 54.

If you decide to stay in your cell, turn to page 13.

2

You extinguish the Woukiee.  Well, that was easy, wasn’t it?  What was everyone getting so panicky about?

The Woukiee seems grateful and grunts something about owing you one.  He is even more grateful—downright fawning, to be exact—when you indicate with your foot the sign over an adjoining room: Bantho Abattoir and Bean Nebula Exit.

You and the Woukiee both rush through the Bantho Abattoir, with the slight difference that the Woukiee keeps stopping to pick up free samples.

You burst through the exit door at top speed.  It’s the hangar.  There’s your starship, and you realize, with some surprise, that you still have your keys in your pocket.  The way to go home was with you all the time.

Click those heels and turn to page 99.

3

You know, this really should be a cruel fate.  It really should.  You have no business running down that hall and you know it.  But it looks like you also know the true secret of this kind of book: every innocent choice ends up bringing swift death, while the obviously deadly ones (opening the asteroid’s forbidden door, confronting the UFO overlords, etc.) generally turn out well.

So you run down the hallway, dodging every kind of ‘mite, flame, and lightning bolt.  Easy as bulls-eyeing the beggars in the canyon back home.  You arrive at the door and realize that it’s just a small exhaust port—it only looked like the Sarlaak because of all the smoke.  It must have been ray-shielded, but fortunately it looks like the Woukiee took all the rays for you.

Turn to page 20.

4

You climb up to the top of the chute and poke your head out.  Chewbaccus and his fans stare back at you.  How long has he been there, two hours?  Doesn’t he have anything else to do but sign autographs?

Luckily, your romp in the garbage has left you smelly and filthy.  The Rebel soldiers recoil in horror and Chewbaccus fiddles with his buttons, trying desperately to turn off his automatic breathing apparatus.  This gives you the moment you need to seize the initiative.

You notice that there’s an emergency beam sword and fire extinguisher in a panel on the wall.  Alternatively, you could save time and surprise Chewbaccus and the Rebels by attacking them with your toe.

If you break open the emergency panel, turn to page 27.

If you attack with your toe, turn to page 46.

5

Let’s pause for a moment to reflect on what you just did. Somehow in your desperate attempt to escape, you managed to find and destroy Chewbaccus, the most powerful Rebel leader and the scourge of the Empire. That’s fairly amazing, and also fairly unlikely. Killing Chewbaccus will definitely be worth quite a few Prisoner Points, if you manage to live long enough to escape. I’ll bet you think you’re hot stuff right now, what with Chewbaccus’s smoldering boots and the Woukiee looking on admiringly. Well, listen, hot shot, let’s see how lucky you really are. Try this on for size. Let’s