Witches and Bandits and Swords (Oh My)

By Dominic O'Reilly

The plan had seemed so simple back home; a sea voyage to trade spices with a distant land promised great fortunes for you and your friends. However, a vessel flying a pirate standard had other ideas. Now that you find yourself waking up alone in a strange forest, it's time to quickly take control of the situation and make the decisions necessary to get back what's yours before it's too late.

Outsmart vicious bandits!
Trade potions with witches!
Try not to be too offended by the sarcastic rabbit!

Can you save your friends and bring peace to a land on the brink of devastation? Or will your choices lead you to a grisly fate?

Author's Note: The online preview in Smashwords doesn't work. The ebook does. I know this because I've spend about eight solid hours formatting it for both Amazon and Smashwords. That's eight hours of trying to stop myself from a) screaming and b) throwing the laptop out the window. Don't worry, I won't bitch about this too much. Well, maybe a little bit...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dominic O'Reilly
• Release date: Jul 19, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310070884

Dominic O'Reilly

Born to the mean streets of Stoke on Trent, Dominic is now an economic immigrant in the Manchester area; living in a box in Stockport and jumping around various temp jobs which range in excitement from typing address information for the Royal Mail, through typing Census forms, all the way up to typing railway station surveys. When he can clear his mind of postcode information and defective platform copers, he writes stories in genres including horror, humour and erotica- typically depending on what mood he's in, and his total career earnings prior to the release of his debut novel amounted to 33 US Dollars, for which he was very grateful. Dominic also writes about himself in the third person for no apparent reason.

Book preview

Chapter 1

1

You're in a sparse hut with no furnishings other than a modest bed and a cauldron. It is a bright day outside and the outside forest looks far more inviting than it was when you were fleeing from the murderous pirates. Looking around, you see a trapdoor beneath the bed.

Examine the cauldron 8

Examine the trapdoor 30

Go outside 77

Go back to sleep… 35

2

When they say no-one, they probably don't mean me. You say cheerfully as you nonchalantly head west. Unfortunately, you find yourself walking into a very heavy guard who pushes you back. Perhaps you should rethink your strategy.

Run down the path west 81

Follow the path east 21

Talk to guard 23

Offer guard gift 76

Attack guard 33

Use potion… 13

3

Tricky. Just how does one engage in conversation with a rabbit? It very rarely comes up as an issue. Nonetheless, you make an effort.

So, you say, you can...talk.

Yes. So. Can. You. You feel the rabbit is mocking you slightly.

Oh, sorry. Erm, do you have a name?

No. If it makes it easier you can call me Mr Rabbit. Do you think you can possibly remember that? Now, what would you like to discuss? I'm very wise, as far as rabbits go.

How come you can talk? 49

Where am I? 41

Have you seen any friends? 70

What should I do? 11

West 9

East 16

North 52

South 69

Attack the rabbit… 59

4

*hic* This doesn't appear magical (you hope) but is very potent. Probably best not to drink anymore unless you want to spend the rest of the adventure running into trees and trying to befriend armed bandits.

West 25

East 47

South 77

Read note… 66

5

With what?

Sword 62

Fists 46

On second thought, let's not… 36

6

Cheers say the guard as he takes your money. You're not so bad after all.

Can I pass now? Please?

Nope.

Follow the path west 2

Follow the path east 21

Offer playing cards 57

Offer sexual favours 80

Attack guard 33

Use Potion… 13

7

Yuck! What a mess. Blood and innards everywhere. You recognise one of the men as a pirate you've met before; he wears an animal skin and has a tattoo of a flaming skull and crossbones. The other is a stranger to you. You think the bandits might have sent one guy out to look for you and he might have run into the hut's owner. Looks like they died fighting each other. To try and stop thinking about whether there are more pirates around, you check the bodies. You take the best of the two swords and 20 Gold. You graverobber, you.

Follow the path west 21

Follow the path east 77

Go north into woods 25

Go south into woods… 60

8

The cauldron is filled with a foul smelling greeny brown liquid. What it is and how long it's been there are two things you aren't entirely sure you want to know.

Drink the liquid 22

Examine the trapdoor 30

Go outside… 77

9

You're in a forest to the south of the hut. That's it. You're perfectly aware that most woodland is just mile after mile of plantlife with no special features, people to talk to, curiously discarded valuables etc. but you still feel that there should be something here. Oh well, see if you reach anywhere more exciting next time.

West 60

East 42

North 77

South… 79

10

I'm afraid you can't afford this. Just as well really, as we can't control this spell at all. You could end up shooting off into a tree.

(poison) Provide some purple and black herbs, and ten gold 38

(invisibility) Use purple, black and yellow herbs, and ten gold 68

Go south 17

Read book again… 34

11

What should I do?

Tricky. Trying to seek help from a talking rabbit is probably not a good start. People might talk, it says in what you suspect to be a sarcastic tone of voice.

I’ll risk it.

You tell it your story and it listens attentively (or possibly in a state of deep boredom- it’s hard to tell with rabbits), but after some thought, it answers,

Hmmm… interesting. Well, your cargo’s probably been moved through the smuggler’s tunnel and into the town, but, if you ask me- and you are doing- I wouldn’t go that way. Seeing the witches to the north will be your best bet, but you’ll need some herbs and money.

Anything else? you ask, hopefully.

What do you want? I’m only a rabbit. How about this; stay away from battlegrounds, they’re dangerous. There, satisfied?

Where am I? 41

How come you can talk? 49

Have you seen my friends? 70

West 9

East 16

North 52

South 69

Attack the rabbit… 59

12

Having never used a sword before, why you think you can beat a professional guard with one is completely beyond me but, it's your life. Or was. You die. The guards fatally hacks you with a single stroke and goes back to being bored.

Go back to start… 1

13

Which potion do you wish to use?

Invisibility 73

Poison 45

Ultra Disco Dancing… 64

14

As you continue your quest through the woods you hear raucous shouting and the clanging of metal on metal. To the south and west of you, huts and trees are on fire. You keep perfectly still as you realise you've entered a battleground and you can see soldiers fighting against bandits. They don't appear to be the pirates that captured you, though. To risk entering the thick of it, go the south or the west. To back away, head north or east.

West 20

East 60

North 21

South… 39

15

As you head south, you are blocked by several well armed men who are very insistent that you don't go in that direction.

West 36

East 69

North 9

Attack soldiers 67

Enter building 71

Talk to a soldier… 24

16

You are at the far east of the continent and looking out into the ocean to the south and east. The rapid waves are some hundred feet below you.

West 42

East into the sea 75

North 44

South into the sea… 27

17

To your north you can now see distant mountains beyond the trees. The land either side of you has also grown sharply in relief and travel to the west or east has become impossible. You are effectively in a miniature