Melancholic Parables

By Dale Stromberg

Bellatrix Sakakino has lived many lives. She dampens electricity. She longs for a fruit that went extinct before she was born. She’s radioactive. She’s not above committing a massacre for the sake of a perfect omelet.

She crashes through timelines and circumstances, recurring in these flash stories as a tricksterish film director, a pink hedgehog, a simulation of herself, or a child who can only speak in dial-up modem shrieks.

Are we the same person we were last year? Or last week? Or last story? Whimsical and dolorous, ironic and absurd, this slippery assortment of stories dances around these questions with ambiguous aplomb.

“Wistful nihilism holds hands with absurd humor and lighthearted whimsy—some of the stories are almost horror, some are almost jokes.”
— Briar Ripley Page, author of Corrupted Vessels

“Encounters with to be and not to be: vulnerable yet ungovernable, tragicomic and ignormal. Shimmering reinvention.”
— Tucker Lieberman, author of Most Famous Short Film of All Time

“Every story in this collection is a kind of gift: a chance to discover new perspectives.”
— Hengtee Lim, author of Something Like Hope

“This is a witty, clever book, but it’s also a dark work: a work of uneasy ghosts and climate change, of loving your abuser and hating yourself.”
— Zilla Novikov, author of Query

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dale Stromberg
• Release date: Nov 29, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005190071

Dale Stromberg

Dale Stromberg grew up not far from Sacramento before moving to Tokyo, where he had a brief music career. Now he lives near Kuala Lumpur and makes ends meet as an editor and translator.

Book preview

Being for the antiselving reader

Dale Stromberg

This is probably a work of fiction. All of the characters and events portrayed in these parables are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, probably.

MELANCHOLIC PARABLES.

Copyright © 2022 by Dale Stromberg.

All rights reserved. No wrongs reversed.

If you wish to use any part of this work for a purpose normally restricted by copyright, contact the author. Fair use is specifically encouraged and is to be interpreted broadly. The author also welcomes anyone who has paid for a copy of this book to share it with whomever they like.

Cover design © 2023 by Rachel A. Rosen.

https://rachelrosen.ca/

Smashwords edition.

To the reader

You, there. Perhaps you are wondering whether this collection of parables is right for you. Perhaps it is not.

Not every book is for every reader. A book must rhyme with you, or you with it. I suspect this book is for antiselving readers. What does it mean to antiself? Though I cannot explain, allow me to explain:

Consider this assertion: I don’t exist—I happen. That is, suppose self is an act which is convinced it is I.

Suppose, in other words, that self is not a noun but a verb: to self.

Now, some verbs can be negated in two ways:

☞ The sun rises.

1) The sun does not rise.

2) The sun sets.

☞ The door opens.

1) The door does not open.

2) The door closes.

☞ The sky brightens.

1) The sky does not brighten.

2) The sky darkens.

Consider the possibility that self can also be negated in two ways. Not to self would simply be not to happen. But suppose another antonym of to self is to antiself.

If to self meant to rise,

to open,

to brighten,

then to antiself would mean to set,

to close,

to darken.

Suppose you were to antiself. Who would happen then?

Would that person shrink from the succor of human company, joining the absurd kith of the lonesome, ill at ease to be known of, melancholic and unsuited to selving?

If so, then perhaps they will find these parables to rhyme with the antonym they are.

You may find content warnings listed in the Schedule of Parables near the end of this ebook.

The First Thirteenth:

Autumn on Venus

Dree Your Weird

Learn to love disappointment

as the ear loves a resolving chord.

Hello. Welcome. Step right in, sir.

Yes. No, not a pet, sir. I am the proprietor.

I assure you, yes. Not a joke. Owner and operator, sir.

Not a cow, sir. A bull. The difference? Ahem. I’m surprised you ask.

Yes, right this way. We stock dinnerware, toasting flutes, vases. Christmas ornaments along that wall. Tumblers of every variety by the window displays.

Oh!

Oh, dreadfully sorry. I’ve just—well, yes, it seems every time I turn around, this sort of thing—no, really, I’ll clean it up myself.

I beg your pardon? Well… yes. The—the merchandise. We do carry quite a bit of… shall I say, weathered merchandise?

Well, I suppose, yes. Broken, sir. Strictly speaking.

No, sir, what you see is what we have.

Well. I can hardly deny it when you put it so plainly, but… yes. Indeed. Not surprising at all, being that I am a, as you say, sir, yes: a bull.

Is it really so amusing, sir?

Well, please do come again. You won’t be? I am sorry to hear it, sir.

Open a what instead, sir? Ahem. It is the, erm, female of the species that gives milk, sir. But I thank you for the suggestion.

Good day, sir.

Albumen Skyline

Serenity: learning what to fear.

Let me tell you what I know of Bellatrix Sakakino. She works for an auditing firm, is thirty-two years old, and is unmarried. Half-Japanese, half-Danish. Former avid hiker. Also, her body has a dampening effect on nearby electricity.

This power is involuntary. She’d rather be rid of it, if only she could. Simply imagine the inconvenience.

Suppose yourself walking through, say, Sangenjaya at night, glancing furtively at the faces of passersby, peering furtively into shop windows. Bright lamps line the streets here; the stars, even if you looked furtively up at them, would scarcely be visible.

Upon turning a certain corner, you come to a street with but a few solitary walkers. The lamps here stand at farther intervals. In every sense, this street is less lively. Ahead, you see a dark patch.

She’s there, moving in your direction.

As she approaches each street lamp, its light gradually dims. At just the moment she passes, it is entirely extinguished. As she moves beyond, it slowly rekindles. Her posture, her gait, the direction of her gaze, all are indistinct to you in the gloom surrounding her.

In this way, her eerie shroud of black draws ever nearer. An atavistic fear seizes you. Your feet become leaden; you slow to a standstill beneath a street lamp.

Bellatrix and her enveloping darkness come upon you. The street lamp dims and dies.

Your terror peaks in the instant she passes—but you feel an overpowering urge to glance furtively at her face in profile. You cannot.

Instead, not knowing where to look, you turn your gaze up to the sky. It is bespangled with meek and tranquil stars.

Ngantukisme

A superpower common to all

social animals: invisibility.

To vanish, be alone.

You were strolling to the supermarket. A person walking in front of you fell to the sidewalk. You checked her pulse; she wasn’t dead. Just sleeping.

All around you, people began teetering. Falling asleep on their feet. Cars rolled aimlessly to a halt. Some bumped into the curb.

At the supermarket, customers and stockers and cashiers draped over each other in the aisles. With no better idea of what to do, you left money by one of the cash registers and carried your groceries home.

Turned on the news. The anchor was asleep at her desk. The camera angle was funny too.

Turned the faucet handle, but no water came out. Then the power died. Glanced at your phone: no service. Walked outside to see what was happening, but from every open window came the sound of snoring.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, you thought, as within you there bloomed a sick and helpless envy.

Et sic per gradus ad ima tenditur

You’re so very kind; I can scarcely bear it.

When Bellatrix Sakakino died, her ghost was received by low-voiced figures in lustrous robes who said, Welcome to your golden moment.

The warmly lit room had a timeless, restrained elegance; the only furnishings were a walnut chaise longue and a bell cord to summon aid. In this place, the most perfect moment of Bellatrix’s life was preserved, its every detail precisely captured. She was to exist inside it forever.

A robed figure gestured to her to be seated.

Light shimmered as though a curtain were parting, and there she was again—the Kyoto International School Academic Olympiad awards ceremony. She’d nearly swept the categories when she was twelve, surprising no one more than herself. Now, as though translated bodily into that twelve-year-old self, she saw, heard, and even smelled it exactly as she had then: the tidy rows of folding chairs, the cheery squeak of sneaker soles on the inlaid linoleum floor, the pine scent of the janitor’s detergent. Her mom sat beaming in the front row, mobile phone stowed in her handbag. On the auditorium stage in front of the entire seventh grade, Mr. Pearson hung three gold medals around Bellatrix’s neck: Mathematics, Public Speaking, and Spelling. Her heart was fit to burst. On a giddy whim, she leant in toward Mr. Pearson’s lapel mic and repeated a joke she’d heard from television: I just want to thank all the little people. It got a laugh. Never again would she be so happy.

She returned to herself in the chaise longue in the afterworld, swelling with the same fullness of spirit, the same rare and fleeting joy of feeling she really mattered. Then it began again. Bella lived this ambrosial experience over and over. Hundreds, then thousands of times, each a perfect reiteration of the last. That happiness was to be hers for all infinity.

Then she began to notice, within the blissful repetition, a tiny flaw. It was a small point—trivial, really—but that little people joke just wasn’t quite perfect.

Like a pebble in a shoe, what began as a petty distraction grew to be irritating, then intolerable. The joke was trite. People must have been laughing at her, not with her. Condescending to an ugly hāfu girl who thought she was being clever. Or laughing nervously in embarrassment for her, the obliviously awkward girl, the