The Psychology of Potty Training: The Art of Pulling Up Your Big-girl Panties

By Dr. Leslie Baylis Davis

Why would a grown woman care about potty training? Especially potty training herself?! Well, we aren't REALLLLY talking about potty training here, are we? Think about it. What does it take to potty train your baby? A lot of patience, time, wisdom from others, internal wisdom, discussion with your toddler, and ultimately some independence for them and flexibility from you. Let's face it... Potty training is HARD!

Potty training is a metaphor for surrender. It is a perfect picture of the struggle between me and the battles I faced; being willing to clean up my mess and try again, putting on my big girl panties and moving forward (which requires the surrender).

I would love to take you on my healing journey. I have learned so much along the way! And maybe, just maybe, you will learn something from my battles, defeats, and victories alike.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 7, 2018
• ISBN: 9780359211289

Book preview

The Psychology of Potty Training: The Art of Pulling Up Your Big-girl Panties

The Psychology of Potty Training

The Art of Pulling Up Your Big-Girl Panties

The Psychology of Potty Training

The Art of Pulling Up Your Big-Girl Panties

By Dr. Leslie Baylis Davis

Foreword by Jennifer Smallwood

Illustrations by David Fernandez and Blake Alan Gwaltney

Cover Design by MA Mackey

Copyright © 2018 by Dr. Leslie Baylis Davis

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First Printing: 2018

ISBN 978-0-359-20853-1

Hattiesburg, MS 39401

[e-mail]

www.whisperingwatersacademy.com

Ordering Information:

Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, educators, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the above listed email address.

U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers: Please contact Dr. Leslie Davis Tel: [phone] or email [e-mail]

To request Dr. Davis for speaking engagements or teaching opportunities: Please contact Dr. Leslie Davis Tel: [phone] or email  [e-mail]

To My Family

My loving husband, Christopher Davis

My beautiful children: Alexia and Caden Chavez

My awesome parents:

Robert and Linda Gwaltney and Sherry and Neil Brooks

My siblings:

Dana, Nicole, Daniel, Benjamin, Blake, and Rachel

All who have supported me during the many seasons of my life!

But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Foreword

It has been a great pleasure to come to know Dr. Leslie Baylis Davis personally over the last two and a half years.  I have found her insightful, charming, and compassionate.  Most especially, I have found her to be a passionate Christ follower in her daily journey through life.  I have appreciated her steadfastness to call those around her up to a higher place; declaring their potential to be greater than what their current circumstances would have them believe.  She is a teacher, counselor, friend, and ambassador for Christ.  She walks out her life by faith, even when walking by sight would seem much more logical. 

In reading her story, The Psychology of Potty Training, I found myself laughing and weeping as I shared in the authentic journey of this woman I have come to love and the things that have shaped who she has become. Although, her story is unique, it carries a measure of hope for all, showing that even in our humanity, Christ is greater still.

Having faced many of the issues women in our culture are regularly dealing with, she has found that Jesus, the One greater than herself, has had a plan all along. He is more than a story but rather a God that is alive and ever directing her path, taking her places and doing the things she never would have imagined on her own. I recommend this book as an oasis from the weariness of life and even more so as a reminder to not take oneself too seriously. Life may overwhelm, under produce, and even outdo us, but there is always One more faithful who brings good from all things.

Take the journey, read the story, and be reminded: our humanity is not the worst thing that happens to us, rather it is merely that which provokes us to find the greater meaning behind it all. Whether in the mess or the success, life is the grandest adventure we will ever be offered!

Chapter 1: A Metaphor

Why would a grown woman care about potty training? Especially potty training herself?!  Well, we aren't REALLLLY talking about potty training here, are we?  Think about it.  What does it take to potty train your baby?  A lot of patience, time, wisdom from others, internal wisdom, discussion with your toddler, and ultimately some independence for them and flexibility from you.  Let's face it... Potty training is HARD!

Let me tell you a little story about when I potty trained my first baby.  I am a bit of a Type A personality (if that is such a thing?), and I was determined to have her out of diapers by the time she turned two.  Yes, I read somewhere that children are ready to handle potty training when they are two, and I knew my brilliant baby girl could do it!  She could go potty like a big girl!  And to my credit, she technically could – she had the bladder control, the intelligence, and the wherewithal to understand the concept and follow through.  What I didn't consider was that maybe she didn't WANT to..... Hmmm?

Thus began the power struggle between mom and toddler...

Alexia! Want to go potty with Mommy?  Come on!  Let's go potty like a big girl!  See how it's done?  YAAAAY!  Mommy went potty!  Now it's your turn!  Go potty in the big-girl potty and you will get your big-girl Panties!  (Clapping enthusiastically and singing the potty song, I seemed much like one of those over acting baby shows, like Barney or something... Isn't that what toddlers like?) 

Alexia, somewhat amused, but not quite interested, sits on the Big-Girl Potty.  You know the one... It sings when you pee in it.  At that moment, Alexia decided that she didn't want to use the big-girl potty, she was fine in diapers, thank you very much. I imagine the devious little grin as she looks at me and with a little dip of the hip, pees in her new big-girl panties after sitting on the potty for what seemed like forever. 

Whyyy?????  After multiple unsuccessful attempts in this way, I became frustrated and easily angered about the lack of obedience in this potty training adventure.  She seemed to completely understand what to do, she just didn't want to do it.  In tears one day, I called my mom for help. 

And this is when I actually learned HOW to potty train my sweet, stubborn baby girl…

Leslie, it's just a control thing, Said my mom calmly.  She does know what to do, but she also knows that she is in control of whether or not she does it and is exercising her independence. 

I had never thought of that.  Why would she do that?  Who needs control and independence? HA! I joked back to my mom.  Makes sense, but what do I do about it? 

My mom proceeded to give me instructions: Take away the power struggle and give her the control.  Don't get angry!  Take her shopping and let her pick out the prettiest panties she wants, and when she wets them, say 'uh oh! Let's clean it up!' and have her clean up the entire mess.  Teach her the steps: 'Let's take off those wet clothes, now go put them in the washing machine and get the towel and clean it up.  Let's put on new clothes! Yay! Good job!  Now we start the washing machine, and all done!'  Do this every time – It's no big deal. She just keeps cleaning up her own mess and getting dressed, and you don't let it upset you.

As I put this into practice, I immediately saw the light come on in Alexia's little eyes.  As the reason to exert control was removed, literally in one day, she was potty trained.  The power struggle was over!  Whew!  And it really did happen, just like that.

What was the magic in this advice from my very wise mother of 4 children? Give up the control – give ownership to her and then there is nothing to fight.  So simple; so brilliant.  Surrender control and love despite the mess.  My mom learned this method of potty training with my youngest sister, who is severely autistic and was very difficult to potty train.  Surrender.  Try again.  This concept proved to be the key to many situations throughout my life and taught me how to win the battles that raged before me again and again.  My mom is a very wise teacher, from whom I learned so many life lessons where surrender and willingness to clean up my mess and try again continued to be the key for victory.

What does this have to do with this book?  Why did I tell you this little story?  It is a metaphor for surrender.  It is a perfect picture of the struggle between me and the battles I faced; being willing to clean up my mess and try again.  To put on my big-girl panties and move forward (which requires the surrender). 

I would love to take you on my healing journey.  I have learned so much along the way!  And maybe, just maybe, you will learn something from my battles, defeats, and victories alike. 

Chapter 2

First, I want to introduce myself.  Why did I write this book and what authority to I have to write it anyway?  This has been a big question running through my mind as I prepared myself emotionally to hand you my story.  Let me answer the latter question and the result will lend itself to the first question. 

The truth is, I have experience.  That is my authority – that is it!  So, technically we all have the authority to give our story, and the reason I am writing this book is to connect with you and your story.   Maybe you just started out on your healing journey and need to know you are not alone out there in some crazy cookie-cutter world where you don't quite fit into the little boxes set before you.  Maybe you