Masculinity 2.0: The New Relationship Guidelines for Men Who Want to Be Men, and the Women Who Love Them!

By Walt F.J. Goodridge

I wrote this book because my girlfriend said I should teach a course on how to satisfy a woman!

Now, I accept the possibility that those words may have been your standard boost-your-man's-ego-in-bed pillow talk that every man (hopefully) hears at some point. However, being the literalist I am, I took her suggestion to heart and asked her to explain why she thought it would be a good idea.

"Well," she said. "You have some very common sense ideas about men and women—how they interact, and how to maximize that interaction for intimacy and enjoyment of each other sexually and in other ways—that seem to have been overlooked/lost/not emphasized, even almost purposely squashed in our society today.

"Those ideas," she continued, "set off a physical chain reaction in me that made me feel more feminine, inspired me to express my femininity, awakened feminine desires, and as you experienced for yourself, put me in touch with what I wanted you to do to me to satisfy those desires.

"Plus, in listening to your outlook on male/female dynamics, I was left with a palpable sense of your masculinity and my femininity, and how much of a turn-on our differences in this arena are, and I just think other men and women could really stand to finally handle the truth!"

Cool! Well, thanks, for that, sweetie. Now, between you and me, I think she might be biased, but I wrote this book anyway, to share:

(1) a personal philosophy and belief system about relationships and sexuality,

(2) a concept of masculinity and femininity that works for me and my girlfriends,

(3) my personal compatibility and selection standards that keep me happy and get me the women I want,

(4) behavioral guidelines for my relationship that keep me guilt-free and living true to my self,

(5) private sex practices that keep me young, strong and virile, and make my girlfriends say the things they do,

(6) my positions on monogamy, marriage, gender roles, porn, kinks, fetishes, and biological wiring that allow me the freedom to love others honestly and, most importantly, to love true to my self! And all of this, is supported by:

(7) input and feedback from the women I date, through their actual conversations, interviews, emails and letters!

Now, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to tell other men how they should live their lives. I'm simply offering my own thoughts, beliefs and practices as a first-hand overview of what works for me. These ideas and practices are simply one option—a choice that at least one other man (me) has made—for how to live and love. Now, should others wish to follow these ideas on a path of their own happiness, I won't sue!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Walt F.J. Goodridge
• Release date: Sep 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463097854

Walt F.J. Goodridge

"Once upon a time, there was a Jamaican civil engineer living in New York City who hated his job. He followed his passion, started a sideline business publishing his own books, quit his job, escaped the rat race, ran off to a tropical island in the Pacific, and started a tourism business so he could give tours of the island to pretty girls every day! He now lives a nomadpreneur's dream life, while helping others do the same!"Read the long version at : http://waltgoodridge.com/walt/

Book preview

MY INTRODUCTION 

The world's longest introduction offers:

Intimacy

Inspiration

Information

Ideas

Instruction

Interviews

Irrelevance

Why I wrote this book

I wrote this book because my girlfriend said I should teach a course on how to satisfy a woman!

Now, I accept the possibility that those words may have been your standard boost-your-man's-ego-in-bed pillow talk that every man (hopefully) hears at some point. However, being the literalist I am, I took her suggestion to heart and asked her to explain why she thought it would be a good idea.

Well, she said. "You have some very common sense ideas about men and women—how they interact, and how to maximize that interaction for intimacy and enjoyment of each other sexually and in other ways—that seem to have been overlooked/lost/not emphasized, even almost purposely squashed in our society today.

Those ideas, she continued, "set off a physical chain reaction in me that made me feel more feminine, inspired me to express my femininity, awakened feminine desires, and as you experienced for yourself, put me in touch with what I wanted you to do to me to satisfy those desires.

"Plus, in listening to your outlook on male/female dynamics, I was left with a palpable sense of your masculinity and my femininity, and how much of a turn-on our differences in this arena are, and I just think other men and women could really stand to finally handle the truth!"

Cool! Well, thanks, for that, sweetie. Now, between you and me, I think she might be biased, but I wrote this book anyway, to share:

(1) a personal philosophy and belief system about relationships and sexuality,

(2) a concept of masculinity and femininity that works for me and my girlfriends,

(3) my personal compatibility and selection standards that keep me happy and get me the women I want,

(4) behavioral guidelines for my relationship that keep me guilt-free and living true to my self,

(5) private sex practices that keep me young, strong and virile, and make my girlfriends say the things they do,

(6) my positions on monogamy, marriage, gender roles, porn, kinks, fetishes, and biological wiring that allow me the freedom to love others honestly and, most importantly, to love true to my self! And all of this, is supported by:

(7) input and feedback from the women I date, through their actual conversations, interviews, emails and letters!

In other words, I wrote this book to share things you'd get to know, things you'd need to know, as well as criteria you'd have to meet, if you want to be my girlfriend! And since the suggested goal was to satisfy women, men are invited to take notes and follow what resonates with them. Women may simply complete and submit an application!

Now, once I started my research for this book, people asked me if I intended this to be a how to manual for men.

Well, I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to tell other men how they should live their lives. I'm simply offering my own thoughts, beliefs and practices as a first-hand overview of what works for me. These ideas and practices are simply one option—a choice that one other man (me) has made— for how to live and love. Now, should others wish to follow these ideas on a path of their own happiness, I won't sue!

So, while I won't go so far as to say that this is applicable to every man in society, I will say that these changes in my own living and loving were necessary because of what I observe and interpret as shortcomings, flaws, errors and outright lies in the belief system that informs the overall state of relationships in our society. Those observations led to a set of questions I had to answer for myself.

In achieving happiness in our society, I had to answer:

Who am I?

Because we operate from a self-concept that is either incorrect or incomplete, and thus, we cannot live true to the self if we do not know who that self is.

What is love?

Because we do not understand the basis of attraction and strive for ideals that may be impractical, or non-existent.

Why do I love?

Because we structure or allow others to structure our relationships in ways that contradict what we really want.

Whom do I love?

Because we choose partners with whom we are fundamentally incompatible.

How do I love?

Because we engage in relationships and intercourse in ways that limit our pleasure

When do I love?

Because we interact for durations of time that undermine our happiness.

Where do I love?

Because we reside and remain in locations and environments that do not support our wiring or the fulfillment of our desires, and ultimately:

What is a man?

Because we do not have a clear concept of masculinity.

Who this book is REALLY for

Once I started sharing this book to get feedback, my friends and lovers asked me, Who's your audience? Despite the title, this book is for men and women. I should be clear, however, that these ideas are not for everybody. They are for certain types of men who want a certain type of woman. Here's how to tell if you might really need to read it:

1. If you're a man in search of a girlfriend, but don't feel comfortable with learning pick up lines or using internet dating sites; or, if you keep meeting women who just want to be friends, or who just don't do it for you, then you might really need to read this book.

2. If you're a man who feels a little less than man now in your relationship with your girlfriend/spouse than when the relationship started, but can't quite figure out when and how you lost that lovin' manly feeling, then you really need to read this book to help keep the male-female dynamic alive in your next relationship. Yes, by that I mean it may already be too late to save this one, and I'll tell you why in Chapter 7.

3. If you're a man who gets pleasure from giving pleasure, and you want a woman who fits your definition of feminine without feeling like your only choices are to be a brainless caveman, an insensitive jerk, a misogynistic bad boy, or a callous Don Juan to get what you want, then you might discover some new options in this book.

4. If you're a woman and you rolled your eyes in offense at the sheer arrogance of the title, and are threatened by the idea of a man with a functioning set of gonads and criteria he uses to decide whether or not to allow someone into his life, then you really need to read this book!

5. Whether man or woman, if, despite what you feel are your best efforts to make it otherwise, you just can't seem to keep a relationship lasting the length of time you'd like it to last, then this book that might really be of value to you!

6. As a man or woman, if you want to discover some overlooked elements of masculinity, femininity and sex most relationship gurus overlook, or purposely avoid, and finally understand why most of their advice will never apply to you or solve the real issue that keeps coming up in your love life, then you really need to read this book.

7. Finally, whoever you are, even if things seem to be going quite well, and getting better every day in your brand new relationship, there may be aspects of your interaction with each other that, while they may not seem important now, may be laying the groundwork for trouble ahead.

In other words, whether you're a man or woman, if you're not happy with your love life the way it is, and if it makes sense to revisit, reevaluate, and ultimately change what you believe about love—what love is, why you love, who you love, how you love, and even where you love—then this book was actually really written just for you! (Yes, I'll be covering a bit more than simply how to satisfy a woman!)

What this book will offer you

I'd like to think of us as friends, okay? Great!

Well, as my friend, this book is really just a conversation between the two of us. I'm going to share the things I'd share with you—whether male or female—if we were just hanging out at my place, or on the sidewalk doing some people-watching. Nothing is off limits. You can ask me absolutely anything, and be warned, I tend to bring up anything. My friends and I talk about everything—under-arm odor, sex, bowel movements, kinks, fetishes, anything!

As my friend, I'll give you my opinion, make you laugh, share the books I've read, websites I've visited, talk about people I know (yep, gossip), plus experiences and realizations I've come to that have shaped my life.

However, if we were actually engaged in a face-to-face conversation, the difference is that there would be an exchange of information and opinion, and I would—as I do with all my friends, if they wish—offer suggestions tailor-made to what I intuit or know to be their own interests, lifestyle, hopes and fears to help you find what works. I'm not out to convert you to my way of being, but if asked, I'll always share what I know, so that others may grow.

Unfortunately, since we don't have the privilege of such an exchange, I'll simply share with you what works for me and other people I know, try to anticipate some of what you might be thinking and feeling, and sprinkle in a few here's what I would do suggestions, and hope they help.

The other thing this book will offer is insight into my belief system. A belief system is vital to just about everything in life. If you believe the world is flat, you won't venture too far off the coast of land. If you believe people are basically evil—rather than good—you'll never develop trust or a feeling of safety in your relationships. The reason Tiger Woods can do the things he does (um, on the golf course), is because of the belief system he has about himself, about others, about the world, and about his place in it. So, this book will offer glimpses into the way I see myself, the way I see the world and my place in it, that affect the lifestyle I am bold enough to venture out to achieve.

Perhaps the greatest thing you'll get from this book is that if you've had any of the same thoughts and opinions I've had, but have been cautious about sharing them out loud, then you might simply find someone you can relate to!

At the same time, perhaps my girlfriend was right. Maybe people aren't really talking about things in this way. If so, that would be great! If you have conversations like these with your significant other, I think, at the very least, they will bring the two of you closer together. These are discussions people should be having in their relationships. I believe you'll experience a new level of freedom just by bringing them up for discussion. And, honestly, nothing would please me more than to give you something to think and talk about that helps create freedom! That's what friends are for.

Oh, and by the way, speaking of friends, one of my other friends—a guy in Taiwan, you don't know him— mentioned that although my book addresses a different set of concerns, he liked the sales pitch of a certain Pick Up Artist (PUA) website he knew about. That reference gave me an idea to create my own unique sales pitch to distinguish my book from other books out there in what people might think is a related category. Check it out:

What happens when you give a man a fish?

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.

Reveal to a man that he's actually the owner of a

five-star restaurant with an unlimited international menu....

...and he'll stop settling for freakin' fish."

QUESTION: What's more effective than pick up lines, and even more important than sex techniques?

ANSWER: Having a clear sense of who you are and what it means to be a man.

That answer applies to men and women. As a woman, you can also get what you want, if you have a clear sense of what it means for your man to be a man.

So, why is that better than pick up lines? Well, you see, when a clearly defined man enters a room, people (not just women) can sense it, and they respond accordingly. Then, you can simply be yourself. Therefore:

Masculinity is not offering a list of great pick-up spots or travel destinations where you can meet willing and eager bar girls. Hey, don't get me wrong, I think those do, in fact, serve a valid purpose and fill a need, but to me, that's like giving a man a fish. He'll eat for a day.

Masculinity is not offering proven lines for picking up women. It's not about teaching surefire word combinations and phrases for wooing her into bed. Those are definitely helpful, too, since that's like teaching a man to fish for himself. Yes, he could eat for a lifetime.

Masculinity is not offering here's how to drive your lover crazy in bed techniques. Everyone is different, and what's a turn-on for you, may be a total mood-killer for me!

What Masculinity does offer men and women is something I think is much more valuable: clarity about themselves and the dynamics of male-female interaction in a way that clears up a lot of confusion. When you're clear about who you are, and you've set standards for what you want, other things work themselves out, and who knows? You just might find you don't need pick up lines or remedial dating help after all!

It's challenging in practice, I know. It's one of those things that's simple in theory, but a bit more challenging to put into practice. It may not happen overnight, but, as I alluded to in the fish metaphor, that growing self-awareness of who you really are may transform your entire strategy from fishing like a beggar, to feasting as the owner of your own in-demand restaurant. That's what I hope Masculinity can offer you: a new concept of your identity, a sense of the increased value you offer, and thus, more confidence in setting standards.

And speaking of standards, as I was writing this introduction, I received a quote from a self-help resource (tut.com) that read:

"Some of the coolest dreams that ever came true, weren't dreams at all, but standards

that simply weren't compromised."

That's exactly what I realized about my life, and why I wrote this book: to help you define for your self what it means to be a man, set and stick to those standards and make some cool dreams come true!

***

Ask yourself: Why would a man sit by a pond all day with his pole sticking out, begging for fish to bite, when he, in fact, owns a valuable restaurant where all kinds of