Dark Nights of the Soul: Reflections on Faith and the Depressed Brain

By David Anderson

WINNER: WRITER'S DIGEST SELF-PUBLISHED EBOOK AWARDS, CATEGORY NONFICTION

The first edition won first place in a Writer's Digest contest. This new edition, whether in ebook or paperback, contains the material of the award-winning book plus additional material: a dedication, foreword, acknowledgements, and a bonus essay, "The One Thing: The 5,000 Most Important Words I Have Ever Written (So Far)."

"You tested high for depression in every possible way."

Those words turned my whole world turned upside down. After the shock, the next thing I felt was shame. Because I am a Christian.

If you know what I mean by that, this book is for you. It includes:

• A look inside the mind of someone with clinical depression
• Four principles for recovery (that came from hard experience)
• 22 scientifically proven ways to alleviate depression
• Understanding the voice of the depressed brain (and how to fight back)
• How to separate good information, and faith, from bad
• Resources for finding professional help.

Recovery is one day at a time. After nineteen years of one day at a time, I can say a happy and fulfilling life is possible, even if your depressed brain colors everything gray.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Anderson
• Release date: Oct 28, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393170174

David Anderson

David Anderson lives in Minnesota with with wife Rebecca and their Teddy Bear puppy Buddy. An avid dog lover his whole life, David has translated that passion into his writing. Growing up on a farm, David was exposed to all sorts of animals; raising Cattle, Sheep, Hogs, Horses, and Chickens, as well as caring for his families dogs and cats. "Some of my favorite memories as a child involve running through the pasture with my dogs, and lazy summer days spent lying in the grass with all the animals" Anderson said. "As a young boy I really wanted to be a veterinarian, and while I eventually chose a different path, my passion for animals never wore off." That passion for animals continued as he graduated college and started to make his way into the world. Mr. Anderson launched LP Media, a company that is dedicated to promoting and educating the public about the joys of pet ownership. The company started small, but quickly grew and now helps over a million pet owners every month. Anderson continues to write and search for ways to help other people who are contemplating the decision to become a pet owner. "My work is never done" he said. "I love helping other people and providing great resources that they can use to help better their lives, and the lives of their pets. I plan on continuing to create great products that help pet owners for as long as I can!"

Book preview

Dark Nights of the Soul:

Reflections on Faith and the Depressed Brain, 2nd Edition

With dedication, foreword, acknowledgements, added footnotes and bonus essay The One Thing: The 5,000 Most Important Words I Have Ever Written (So Far)

By

David Anderson, MTS, ThM, MLIS

Independently published

David Anderson

Abbeville, South Carolina

Copyright © 2019, 2020 by David Anderson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.

Independently published

David Anderson

Abbeville, South Carolina

www.davidandersontheauthor.com

Book Layout: Spark Template © 2017 BookDesignTemplates.com

Dark Nights of the Soul: Reflections on Faith and the Depressed Brain/ David Anderson. – 2nd ed.

To Dr. B.J. Seymour, d. 2010

... to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds.

―Ephesians 4:22–23 ESV

For the being who has conquered the mind, that being’s mind is the best of friends; but for one whose mind is uncontrolled, that very mind acts as the worst of enemies.

―Bhagavad Gita 6:6

CONTENTS

Foreword: On Chemical Imbalances and Winning Awards

Wrestling with Divine and Human Beings

Depressed Christian, Part 1

Depressed Christian, Part 2

The Voice ... That No One Wants to Hear

Why Faith Matters in Recovery

Roots of Depression, Part 1

Roots of Depression, Part 2

Tools for Depression

Chris Cornell’s Black Hole Sun

Fell on Black Days

Mark 4:40–Where Is Your Faith?

The War on Thanksgiving

The Holiday Blues

Longest Night Service

Total Eclipse of the Soul

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

Appendix A: Symptoms and Causes of Depression

Appendix B: To Find a Counselor

Appendix C: Scripture References for the Four Principles

References

About the Author

A Bonus

The 5,000 Most Important Words I Have Ever Written (So Far)

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

Foreword

Foreword: On Chemical Imbalances and Winning Awards

I’m very excited to say the original ebook version of this book won first place, category nonfiction, in the 2019 Self-Published Ebook Awards from Writer’s Digest. This version you have now (whether ebook or paperback) has the same content and more.

The length of the original version was about 25,000 words. That’s fine for an ebook, but it needed more to be viable for print. That gave me the opportunity to add this foreword, acknowledgments, and a dedication to my favorite college professor, without whom I might have no real faith to speak of today. I needed to add an update about Chris Cornell, and the format of the references needed to be corrected.

It still needed more, so at the end, there is a bonus essay called The One Thing: The 5,000 Most Important Words I Have Ever Written (So Far).

However, this foreword is not just about patting myself on the back or additional material not in the original version. Recently, it has come to my attention that one of the theories on which this book is based is controversial. When I was diagnosed with clinical depression, the psychologist explained what it means this way. My brain doesn’t get enough natural antidepressants like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, so it needs help, the same way a diabetic does not produce insulin naturally. The theory of chemical imbalance has guided my recovery to a great extent.

Among some experts, however, this theory is falling out of favor. Because of that, I need to explain why I still believe my depression came, at least in part, from a chemical imbalance.

From what I understand, here are the main reasons why some experts reject a person’s biology and chemical imbalance as causes of depression:

It leaves out or minimizes the impact of traumatic experience and modern lifestyle on depression.

Medication for chemical imbalances in the brain has a high failure rate.

Genetic causes cannot explain the epidemic of depression we have seen in the last thirty years or so.

I feel like this is an unnecessary war between two philosophies. We could call it nature versus nurture. Nature includes genetics and brain chemistry. Nurture includes traumatic life experiences and some aspects of modern lifestyle that appear to contribute to depression. The experts on the nature side say the nurture side is wrong because they ignore how nature can predispose someone to depression. The nurture side says the nature side is wrong because only nurture can explain the rapid upsurge in rates of depression in modern times.

Why does either side have to be wrong? We accept that many aspects of health and personality are the product of both nature and nurture. Why can’t we accept the causes of depression could be a combination of genetics, brain chemistry, traumatic experiences, and lifestyle?

I’m no expert, but I have done a lot of research trying to understand the nature of my depression. I am still convinced it came from a chemical imbalance in my brain that I was born with. That is not true for everyone, and I never claim it is. But here are the reasons I believe my depression was at least in part genetic.

There is a strong history of depression in my family.

I didn’t have any great traumatic life experience as a child or adult, but I still struggled with depression all my life.

Medication worked for me.

To further distinguish between nature and nurture, I talk about clinical versus situational depression. Situational depression usually has a clear trigger: the death of a loved one, an important relationship ended, a significant loss like a home or a job, surviving violence and abuse, a debilitating physical illness, and so on. Clinical depression, on the other hand, does not have any clear trigger and needs to be professionally diagnosed. This is the type believed to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and likely to be a product of genetics.

If, like me, you struggle with depression, even when you don’t see any clear reason for it, I urge you to get tested. Once I knew I had clinical depression, the path to recovery became much clearer. And more than anything, it forced me to acknowledge I needed treatment.

Other reasons some people oppose the theory of chemical imbalance are more emotional or social than medical. They say talking about depression as a brain disorder makes them more pessimistic about their chances of recovery, and it makes others less sympathetic. A difference in brain chemistry, some people think, marks you as other or less than human.

It is certainly not my intention to make people pessimistic about their chances of recovery. When I was diagnosed, at first it was devastating. But a good psychologist can not only diagnose you but also help you work out a treatment plan, like mine did. We talked medication and counseling. He recommended a pastoral counselor, because I knew I needed someone who could address the issues of faith that made me feel more depressed. With medication, I noticed a difference immediately. I had more resilience to deal with the ups and downs of life. It does not work for everyone, but it worked for me.

What if medication had not worked? I don’t know how I would have felt. But I understand how if you’ve been told your depression is genetic or based in brain chemistry, and medication does not work, that can be terribly discouraging. Whether it works for you or not, your strategy for recovery should never be medication only. Medication might help you cope with the feelings that can overwhelm you, but you still need to deal with the thoughts, emotions, and life experiences that weigh you down.

Those who criticize the psychiatric and similar professions say they only talk about medication and counseling. You have to understand that is how they are trained. For you as a patient, the path from depression to happiness often begins with medication and counseling, but real recovery goes beyond that. If those things did not work, you might have got the wrong medication or the wrong counselor for you. And these are not the only options available. Most people who truly recover have more than one or two tools in their therapy plan. Medication and counseling can be a beginning, but they are not the end. That’s why I include a chapter called Tools for Depression that has twenty-two scientifically proven ways to alleviate depression and promote happiness.

As for others being less sympathetic when they hear you have a mental illness, a brain disorder, or a chemical imbalance, I think that is changing. I certainly hope it is. Many celebrities are speaking openly about how they were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, panic attacks, PTSD, OCD, and so on. Princes William and Harry have become great advocates for mental health worldwide. And if Duane the Rock Johnson says he struggles with depression, are you going to call him a wimp or a freak? I may have a brain disorder, but at least I’m not a fool. Like other celebrities, they are coming forward to take away the stigma that comes with these labels, and I for one applaud them.

To anyone who sees us as other because we have a mental illness, whether it is the result of genetics or trauma, our brains might work differently from yours. That does not mean we are inhuman. It does not make it okay to bully us. We don’t need you to coddle us. All we ask for is access to effective treatment, the same pursuit of happiness we all have a right to, and a little understanding.

David Anderson

January 4, 2020

INTRODUCTION

Wrestling with Divine and Human Beings

On August 19, 2015, I started a blog called Fawns of Naphtali. It started as a Bible study blog and morphed into a blog about faith and recovery from depression. I worked on it for about two years, posting once a week. It didn’t get many visitors. Maybe it’s because I broke the first rule of getting found on the web: Use a name and URL that