Broken But Blessed

By Susie Fulbright

Broken but Blessed, written by Susie Fulbright, is a memoir depicting three times in her life she would have fallen on her face and given up had it not been for the mercy and grace of the Lord. It describes how she overcame these challenges in her life.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: fbcpublications & pringting
• Release date: May 4, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393572480

Book preview

DEDICATION

This memoir is dedicated to my oldest son, Tony Phillips, who has been supportive through this process. Although he isn’t the main focus, he has encouraged me in this writing.

FOREWORD

Susie and I have known each other for many years as co-workers and close friends. She and I worked together at a state mental hospital and both retired from that hospital. Both of our husbands died from cancer within six months of each other. We grieved together and uplifted each other.

This book by Susie Fulbright is a heart-wrenching story of some of the many tragedies of her life and how God’s grace has encouraged and helped her overcome these dark times.

Susie writes about her disabled son who has cerebral palsy with profound mental disability. Also, she discusses the death of another son and how that death affected her entire family. Susie expounds on her husband’s death and of the overwhelming loneliness that followed. Her son’s death was three years before her husband’s death, which compounded her grief and loneliness.

This book encourages others who have endured difficult times in their lives by witnessing how God’s love will always see you through those times.

Dorothy Solovskoy

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Many thanks to Deborah Bateman, Lisa Lickel, Tony Phillips, and my husband Wilburn Fulbright who coached, edited, loved and encouraged me through this process.

INTRODUCTION

If I could say one thing about life, it always goes forward in one direction. There is no stopping it. We have our ups and downs and every moment of every day we make a choice to believe that tomorrow will be better. Our yesterdays are gone, today is here. Our lives are always changing.

A thought recently popped into my mind: Even with all the planning in the world, nothing remains the same. There are no absolutes or guarantees. Changes are happening all the time. These changes can be good or bad. Mine are both. I know that everyone has a story to tell, so here’s mine, an extraordinary journey of the three different times in my life where, without God’s help and mercy, I would have failed completely and folded under the load. The first was the sudden death of my middle son at only twenty-eight years old, which was so devastating that it shook me to my core. My heart was broken because of the many unspoken things I could have said and done, but now it was not possible.

The second time in my life was the physical, mental, and emotional challenges we faced in raising our third son, who is mentally challenged, and thirdly, dealing with the sickness and death of my husband of thirty-eight years only three years after my son’s passing. G.  was a minister of the Gospel whose faith did not waver during his illness. Mine wobbled a few times but, thanks be unto God, we had each other. We had a long happy marriage along with the ups and downs of any couple.

But this journey cannot compare to the knowledge and strength I gained from these experiences and, in some small way, to help others who may have gone through similar things in their lives. The following verses from my Bible reading have been a help to me and close to my heart during those trying times.

I Peter 5:7: Casting all your care on him; for he careth for you.

Lamentations 3:22: It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

IMPENDING DOOM

My life has not been all gloom and doom, and yes, there have been a lot of pleasant things to happen in my life. As I look back to the years and the things that were a large part of my life, only by the complete grace and mercy of God could I ever have stood it. Yet grief knocked on our door, pouncing on my family like a serpent raising its ugly head. I don’t want to go there; why do I have to even think about it? Can I not just go on and not deal with issues of life, mainly trauma and grief? I am human. Right?

It was 2004, in the spring of the year in upstate South Carolina. The trees were trying to bud, the daffodils were pushing their way through the ground, and there was still a crispness in the air. Everything in our lives was going well; I should say, rosy poesy. We were truly blessed.

Psalm 23:1, The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  II Corinthians 9:8, And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work.

Our oldest son, T., was living away from home, our middle son J., was married with a two-year-old, and our youngest son, JoJo, who is mentally challenged, lived in a group home, after eighteen years at home.

I worked as a mental health nurse at a state hospital as a nurse manager. At that time, I worked second shift. On the afternoon of the seventh of April, I was working alone, and it was unusually quiet. There were multiple phones in our office, and they were not ringing off the hook. I attended to my duties and made my usual rounds throughout the hospital. After returning to the office, I was able to take a break and have my Bible devotion for the evening. I was reading Psalm 136. At the end of each verse was the phrase: "for His mercy endureth forever."

I didn’t realize at that time how real God’s mercy would become in my life. Looking back, I see how He allowed me to finish out the evening and get home without any problems or calls. That’s what I call God’s mercy and grace.

A verse that I recall from memory, Hebrews 4:16, vouches for that: Let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Yes, I was really going to need His help. I closed out my shift, then traveled home, which was twenty-eight miles away.

Once I arrived home, around 12:15 am, I began to settle in and wind down from the