The IT Newbie: The Adventures of Selben and Soda: The IT Newbie, #1

By S. Selben

First shared on Reddit's Tales from Tech Support, this is the tale of Selben's first job in IT support, and the superhero mentor he was lucky enough to have.

Through calming irate customers, to internet outages, and even handling a haunted office, Selben and Soda tackle it all.

Thirteen short stories have been collected and edited for your enjoyment, including two never before shared anywhere! If you've ever done any sort of customer service, you'll get a kick out of these stories.

And remember, if you need to distract an angry customer while you fix their computer, just talk about food!

• Language: English
• Publisher: S. Selben
• Release date: Jun 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386854296

S. Selben

Selben lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with his wife, and two dogs named after EverQuest raid bosses (both are horribly misnamed). He is an avid writer and gamer (PC, tabletop, and card games), when not working in the IT field. A year ago, he discovered r/talesfromtechsupport on Reddit and felt inspired to share his own stories.

Book preview

Hello!

I’m Selben!

Many of you already know about me from my Reddit stories. If that's the case, carry on! For the rest of you...

This is the tale of my first IT job. The stories contained here show what you might expect out in the real world. I hope it brings you some enjoyment, and perhaps even some helpful knowledge!

If you’re just getting into the IT world, don't worry - it gets easier... eventually! If you have no idea about computers or technology, you might want to try reading anyway - I try not to use too technical of wording! Show, not tell, right?

I was considering writing a bit more on this page, but short and simple is usually best!

Happy reading, I hope you enjoy!

Selben sig

How I Met Soda

FINALLY, I RECEIVED the call I had been hoping for. I had been hired, with a start date of Monday! Landing my first real IT job required a celebration, so for dinner, I prepared two ramen packages, instead of my normal one. With my schooling and previous experience, this job should be no problem... or so I thought.

That Monday, I parked my car and headed into the office building. The front desk assistant greeted me, and led me past the IT bullpen. A bunch of techs sat at desks with phones and matching dual display computers. They were all on phone calls sounding very professional. I wondered which desk would be mine, as we went into a side office.

Slick and someone from HR will be right with you, my escort explained to me. Please have a seat. 

I sat and tried to get comfortable. After waiting a short time, one of the techs came in carrying a laptop, phone, and headset. He dropped them down on the conference room table, then looked up at me with surprise.

Oh! Are you the new guy? he asked.

Uh, I am new, yes.

Are you the new tech?

Yeah, I was starting to be able to answer confidently.

Which group are you in?

Uh... I don’t know. I was told to wait for Slick and someone from HR.

Oh. Do they know what team you’re on?

I really don’t know. I haven’t even met them yet. I was starting to get concerned by the number of things I didn’t know.

Well, where are you sitting? Surely you know that! He seemed to think at least this would be common knowledge.

...I don’t know that either. I tried not to panic. Had I been forgotten? Was I supposed to have been told all this on the phone call? Did I hang up too soon?! 

The tech sighed, and looked down at the laptop and other supplies he brought in, clearly in deep thought.

I’ll leave these here!

Okay! I said, trying to focus on breathing.

The tech left, giving me enough time to calm down before someone from HR entered the room a minute later.

He went over some documents and other normal policy stuff—sign this, sign that, and so on. Slick came in during this, and sat quietly. He was flipping through some paperwork, nodding and shaking his head as he read through it.

I became nervous again, hoping the paperwork wasn’t my resume. I tried to reassure myself. They hired me, and I had just signed the paperwork, so there was nothing to worry about. So stressful, and I hadn’t even started working yet!

Eventually, HR was satisfied that enough documents had been signed, blood oaths sworn, and left. I was in Slick’s care.

We went on a mini tour of the facility, ending with an introduction to one of the IT managers. He assigned me a tech to sit with and observe. It turned out to be the tech I’d met earlier, whose name ended up being Kevin. By lunch, I had caught a few of Kevin’s errors. I stopped him from resetting the password for the wrong user, as well as spotting that he was using an incorrect IP address while trying to remotely connect to a computer. Kevin meant well, but he was a little slow.

Finally, lunch came. I ate leftover hamburger helper in my car as I watched groups of phone techs head off to lunch. Maybe after my first paycheck I could join them!

After lunch, I returned to Kevin’s side. The rest of the day went by uneventfully, though I still caught some errors as Kevin worked. I think we developed a bit of camaraderie, as Kevin became friendlier and introduced me to other members of the team between calls.

When it was nearly 5 o’clock, Slick pulled me aside.

So, I’ve gotta be frank with you. Slick sounded like he was about to deliver bad news.

Oh, I'm sorry! I thought I was helping Kevin! I wasn't trying to step on any toes. Am I getting let go? I hoped I’d be given another chance.

Oh no, no! We just don’t have any open desks for you here in the office, he reassured me.

I was confused. Okay... so what does that mean?

Slick handed me a paper with a map printed on it.

You’ll work from our remote office under a different IT manager. His name is Soda.

PULLING INTO THE PARKING lot of the remote office the next morning, I looked up at the company building. It was smaller than the main office, but I was keeping myself pumped. I would meet this new team and prove my worth!