You’ll remember that last week’s episode took place in the chilly flat of my little sister Deb. You might also remember that we summoned help from that renowned domestic engineer Dr Dear, who quickly diagnosed a fault in the underfloor heating – Deb had forgotten to turn it on.
‘Why didn’t you do something earlier?’ he wondered.
‘I didn’t like to make a fuss.’
That was a few days ago, and my sides have only just become unsplit. Honestly, there is nobody in the known universe who.