Frozen in the Midst of Fire

By Desiree Philmore

Desiree J. Philmore, was determined to not become a statistic as a teenage mother. Giving birth to her first daughter at 16 years old, little Jada was soon diagnosed with Cri-du-Chat Syndrome. Facing this new challenge, she was determined to graduate high school and matriculate at college. During her college studies, she became pregnant with her second daughter, Kymera. She instilled in her children to love and devote themselves to each other and God.

Desiree felt her life was finally coming together until one tragic October night in 2017. The worst catastrophe any mother could endure occurred when her home became engulfed in flames while her children slept. Trying frantically to rescue her trapped children, she was unable to reach them. Left with only her devastating grief and post-traumatic stress, her faith led her to discover signs and treasures from God that supported her new journey as a bereaved mother. She was comforted in the knowledge of knowing that her children's spirits were still with her, she now has a new purpose to live for. No longer frozen in the midst of a fiery memory, she is determined to fulfill her true purpose and destiny.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Desiree Philmore
• Release date: Jan 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393250197

Book preview

Frozen

in the Midst of

Fire

A Memoir of an Unbreakable Sister’s Bond

By

Desiree J. Philmore

Frozen in the Midst of Fire  Copyright © 2020 by Desiree J. Philmore.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or in any manner, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews permitted by copyright law.

Scripture Quotations are from The Holy Bible, New LivingTranslation(NLT) and King James Versions (KJV). All rights reserved

For information contact: 

Facebook: Desiree J. Philmore

IG: Destined_Desi

YouTube: Destined_Desi

Email: [e-mail]

Book and Cover design by Desiree J. Philmore

ISBN: 9780578630182

First Edition: January 2020

10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2 

Table of Contents

Forward

Part One

Sweet Innocence

Déjà Vu

Surprise! You’re Pregnant!

A Blessing through the Valley

Determined to Live

Our New Addition

Trapped in Darkness

A Test of Faith

Miracles in the Face of Death

I can only Imagine

Memorial Gallery

Part Two

Continued Destiny

Grace’s Understanding

Life’s Purpose

The Grief Process

Appendix

Dedication:

Graciously, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior, the one who keeps me grounded, Jesus Christ. Without him, I would not be able to continue on this journey called life. Humbly, he has gotten me through the valleys and trials in my lifetime. Secondly, I would like to dedicate this book to my beautiful, loving and beloved daughters, Jada and Kymera. Their lives have enriched mine on earth and now in their new heavenly homes. I am so very appreciative of the time that I was allocated to spend with them here on earth. Throughout this book, you will see just how special they were and why everyone loved them so much! May the calling and purpose of their lives be revealed in this book, so that there are more lives saved and more people are able to grow a relationship with God through my children’s eyes.

To my only son, Lil Mezz, always remember that I love you past death and I will always be here for you. You give me the drive to continue to live for you. I am so proud of the charming, intelligent and handsome young man that you have become. I am especially proud of the brother that you were, and will always be, to your sisters. You were THE BEST brother that anyone could ask for! I want you to know how much of an impact you made on your sisters, they both looked up to you. You taught, nurtured, and loved both your sisters. You have always been there to encourage them to always strive for better. You were always there to protect both of your sisters, and they loved you so much! Thank you for being you.

To my God-fearing, respectful and kind-hearted nieces, nephews, and Godchildren, you have made me become strong and have made me want to continue my life to encourage and help you through your journey in life. Thank you for always being there for me. Remember that auntie loves you so much and you can do whatever you put your mind to as long as you Keep God First! 

Also, I would like to dedicate this book to my family for being a Godly example and always being a strong support system for me and my girls. You all have been so uplifting and encouraging through this valley that I have endured. 

To Romir, we have endured so much and have been through so much together. To lose our children together is indescribable, unattainable and inconceivable. Always know that whatever we go through, I love you and I will always be there for you whenever you need me. Thank you for caring for our children. The memories that we have with our children can never be taken away from us. You were someone that they knew they could confide in and that they could play with! I love the bond that you had with all our children. Whenever you feel down, always remember that they loved you and keep God close to you! 

To Justin, thank you for blessing me with Jada. Remember that she is watching over you and to make her and Grandma-Mom proud.

This book is also dedicated to my baby sister, Deidra. I want to say that I love you and thank you for always being there for me and your nieces. They loved their TT! Always remember that they are smiling over you. To my sister-in-law, Takeshia, I thank you for being the best aunt to my children! Your selfless act that you performed at the hospital the day of the girls passing was so heartfelt and so meaningful to me. I appreciate you! 

To the one person who completely understood my pain at the most traumatic time in my life, my sister, Darcheka, to lose our children at the exact time and to encourage each other to continue our lives. From funeral planning, to headstone designs, to the celebration of their birthdays, celebrating the anniversary of their deaths; we kept each other grounded and I will forever thank you for that. I will always be a shoulder for you to lean and cry on. You can always call me to vent, as I know I can do the same. We are in this together!

This dedication would not be complete without thanking my heroic brother-in-law, Thomas, and my heroic neighbor, Walter Robinson. I thank you both for risking your own lives to rescue my daughters while my home was engulfed in flames. Your gracious, rapid and kind acts that night is greatly appreciated. Thomas, your nieces loved you past death and they always will! You were the best uncle to them, always joking with them and always teaching them things that will always be a memory in our hearts.

A Letter to the Reader  

Hello,

My name is Desiree J. Philmore. I lost both my daughters to a house fire. Their names were Jada and Kymera. Jada was 12 years old, a 7th grader at Buchtel CLC and was diagnosed as an infant with a rare genetic disorder called Cri du Chat Syndrome. Kymera was 5 years old, she was a cheerleader for the West Griffins and just started Kindergarten at Schumacher CLC. Our house caught on fire on Thursday night, October 12, 2017. My daughters were both pronounced dead on October 14th, 2017. I believe Jada’s purpose was to help people understand and learn how to love people with special needs. I believe that Kymera’s purpose was to help Jada on this earth and was also to help me to learn how to love both my girls while I had them. I miss and love my girls so very much. As any bereaved parent would do, I often put on this mask to cover up my pain and hurt. Sometimes I get angry, mad, sad, feel lost or confused, and other times I feel somewhat ok at the moment. It all depends on how I feel that day or if I see anything that reminds me of them. The simplest things like their favorite foods, favorite colors, favorite songs, hairstyles they used to wear, pieces of clothing and even little tiny things like where they used to sit in the car; everything reminds me of my children. 

My hope is this book will help someone in their personal grief journey. I cannot and will not tell you how to grieve, especially because I do not know the correct way, nor do I believe that there is a correct way to grieve. Rather, everyone grieves in their own way. In this book, I will definitely share with you my experiences and my journey with you. I hope this book can give you a little comfort and give you a little peace. Maybe this book will help someone who feels lost, turn to the Most High, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Some things I say in this book may make you laugh, cry, smile, or even angry. This is just my journey that I wish to share with you.

Sincerely,

Desiree J. Philmore

Forward

G ood morning, ladies ! Time for school. I would always say in a cheerful voice to wake up the girls. Barely opening her eyes,

Jada said with her groggy morning voice, I got school? Aww, OK. Before proceeding to the bathroom, she always tapped Kymera on the shoulder to get her to wake up while exclaiming morning Ky Ky! The sound of the toilet flushing and the rushing water hitting the glowing white surface of the sink as she brushed her teeth rang through the hallway. Come on Ky, it’s time for school, I said as I pleaded with her to wake up. But Mom, I didn’t even get a chance... Kymera claimed she never got a chance to sleep. Their father would always say sternly while trying not to laugh, Kymera! For some reason, she would always get up when she heard that. Yes, she would still whine and say she was tired but she would go in the bathroom, brush her teeth just to come in the room and lay back down with her dad while Jada caught her van to school.

Beep Beep! the sound of her van driver ascending to our house would always signal